Mattardis' fan made Death Battles (Currently 14 episodes -3 bonus DBX)
by Mattardis
Summary: Inspired by Screwattack's death battle series, I've decided to write a few of my own. All official rules of death battle apply. Rated M due to death scenes and minor cursing. Super Mario VS Jackie Chan Adventures. These two reptilian villains are out to make the world thier own. But which is destined to live to be the true ruler?
1. Episode 1:Princess Morbucks VS Bowser Jr

Episode 1 – Princess Morbucks VS Bowser Junior

 ***Cue Invader – Jim Johnston***

Wiz: I may not be a father, but I know that raising a child is real hard work. You have to make sure to give them clear directions as to what they can and can't have and do.

 **Boomstick: Or you could just give them absolutely everything they ask for and hope they love you in return. Though this usually just results in little brats who expect everything in life to be given to them.**

Wiz: Such as Princess Morbucks, rival of the Powerpuff Girls

 **Boomstick: And Bowser Jr. Bowser's beloved, and only, biological child.**

Wiz: Both of these kids have used their influence over their fathers to get absolutely everything they want…

 **Boomstick: Including the ability to kick some serious ass!**

Wiz: But who is truly superior?

 **Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick**

Wiz: And it is our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!

 ***Cut music and doors close***

 ***Cue B.L.O.S.S.O.M - Komeda***

Wiz: The city of Townsville! A sprawling seaside metropolis that's home to…

 **Boomstick: Monsters, criminals, evil science monkeys and even THE DEVIL HIMSELF!**

Wiz: ...Uhh, well, I was going to say "The Powerpuff Girls". But you're not wrong! Despite seeming almost utopian, Townsville has probably the highest crime rate in all of the USA. So it's a good thing The Powerpuffs are around.

 **Boomstick: Seriously, Powerpuffs? The hell kinda superhero team name is that? They should've been called The Whoopass Girls or something!**

Wiz: Well they're only kids. They still go to kindergarten! And they're not the only ones either. Just as superheroes still have to go to school, so do super villains.

 **Boomstick: Enter, Princess Morbucks!**

Princess: I'll need the milk money for my first day of new school...

-Her father hands her a large wad of $100 bills.-

Princess: *sigh* I suppose it'll do...

 **NAME: PRINCESS MORBUCKS**

 **AGE: 5**

 **HEIGHT: SHORT**

 **DC FAN**

 **A PARODY OF LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE WARBUCKS**

 ***Cue Princess – The City of Soundsville (instrumental)***

 **Boomstick: Question, Wizard. What is she a princess of..?**

Wiz: Oh, she's not an actual princess. Princess is her first name.

 **Boomstick: Wha-... Who names their kid Princess?!**

Wiz: Princess Morbucks is only child of the impossibly rich Morbucks family. Yes, She is an only child. Her animé incarnation is a completely separate entity and, as such, will not be included in this analysis.

 **Boomstick: Anyway, On her first day of school, Princess was immediately outshined by her classmates, Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup. And since she wasn't used to sharing her spotlight, she tried to steal it right back from them by declaring herself the fourth powerpuff girl.**

Wiz: The girls laughed her off and told her that she couldn't join if she didn't have powers. So princess decided that she would simply buy herself some superpowers.

Buttercup: You can't just buy superpowers.

Princess: Oh yeah? Tell that to batman!

 ***Cue Blossom – City of Soundsville (instrumental)***

 **RAZOR TIARAS**

 **WRIST MOUNTED GRAPPLE GUNS**

 **MONEYTOVS: MOLOTOV COCKTAILS MADE OF MONEY**

 **JETPACK: UNKNOWN TOP SPEED (CAPABLE OF KEEPING UP WITH THE POWERPUFF GIRLS)**

Wiz: That night, after school, Princess went home and... uhh... "requested" that her father give her money to buy herself superpowers. And thanks to his seemingly limitless bank account, he gave her all the money she needed.

 **Boomstick: Using this money, she developed several tools and gadgets overnight. Including Razor sharp tiaras that she could throw like batarangs! Grapple guns which she could used to catch foes or swing around like spider-man! And a freakin' jet pack!**

Wiz: However, Princess is only five years old, and she never did learn how to throw her razor tiaras or use her grapple gun quite right. The jet pack, on the other hand, she got a lot of experience with! Also, since then, she added Moneytovs to her arsenal.

 **Boomstick: Moneytovs..?**

Wiz: Wads of dollar bills that explode into flames when lit and thrown. It's a Molotov cocktail... But made with money.

 **Boomstick: Nu-uh. No! That's just wrong. You don't just throw away perfectly good money like that unless it's in a strip club!**

Wiz: Going back to her jet pack for a moment, while it's top speed is unknown, with it, Princess is capable of keeping up with the Powerpuff girls during combat. And outside of combat, the Powerpuffs are faster than the speed of light! While it's doubtful that Princess can go THAT fast, she is still capable of moving fast enough to become invisible to the human eye.

 **Boomstick: Too bad for her that that doesn't count the powerpuff girls.**

Wiz: Despite all these gadgets, Princess was unable to prove herself worthy of being a powerpuff girl.

 **Boomstick: So she gave up and went back to her studies, going on to live a happy healthy life!**

...

 **Boomstick: ...Nah, she let her obsession consume her, stepped up her game and decided to create a full on iron man style suit instead! With the absolute worst name possible...**

 **THE FIBRE-O-TOMIC-OMIC**

 **PALM AND CROWN LASER BLASTERS**

 **MINOR LIGHTNING CONTROL**

 **SUPER STRENGTH EQUAL TO THAT OF A POWERPUFF**

 **DEFLECTS LASERS AND CREATES FORCEFIELDS**

 **FLEXIBLE, YET EXTREMELY DURABLE**

Wiz: The Fibre-o-tomic-omic.

 ***Cue Buttercup – The city of Soundsville (instrumental)***

 **Boomstick: I mean, really? She could have just called it something like "The princess powersuit" but instead she went with THAT mouthful?!**

Wiz: Bad naming aside, this battlesuit is incredible. While the first incarnation was made of a gold coloured metal, that was very clearly not actually gold, it was eventually destroyed by Blossom. Since then, however, the suit has been upgraded and improved in almost every possible way. Now, rather that being metallic, the Fibre-o-tomic-omic seems to be made of some kind of super-fabric, capable of surviving things no ordinary fabric should. It can also deflect laser beams and bring up forcefields on a whim.

 **Boomstick: On top of the defences, the fibre-whatever can also launch powerful energy blasts from the palms of her hands and from the gem in her crown. And it seems to have some minor electrokinesis.**

Wiz: It ALSO gives Princess physical strength equal to that of a powerpuff girl. Meaning that Princess in the Fibre-o-tomic-omic is capable of lifting entire mountains!

 **Boomstick: Awesome..! I'd love me wanna them fibre-o-thingies. Too bad the only one in the world is a dress made for a five year old...**

Wiz: Princess doesn't wear her Fibre-o-tomic-omic as regular clothes though. Only when she needs it. When she's not wearing it, she keeps it in the trunk of her limousine.

 **Boomstick: Which is stupid. I'd be wearing that thing at all times. What's that? You wanna kick me outta the store? PALM LASER!**

 **OTHER WEAPONS:**

 **VARIOUS LASER GUNS**

 **ANTIDOTE X GUN**

 **ATTACK JET**

 **SPEEDBOAT**

 **TANK**

Wiz: Hidden out in a desert just outside of Townsville is Princess' Warehouse of Weaponry. Here, tons and tons of different weapons and vehicles can be found. Including various laser guns.

 **Boomstick: Though I don't really see the point. She has laser blasters in her suit!**

Wiz: There is the Antidote X gun, created by the evil scientist Mojo Jojo. This gun is capable of stealing any powers the target has that stem from Chemical X. She also has three state-of-the-art vehicles. An attack jet, a speedboat and a tank. All three of these vehicles are equipped with powerful, chemical x seeking weaponry. Though they have been shown capable of destroying one another.

 **Boomstick: I shouldn't be jealous of a five year old girl. It feels wrong..!**

 **FEATS**

 **KNOCKED OUT BUBBLES WITH A SINGLE LASER SHOT**

 **KNOCKED OUT BUTTERCUP WITH TWO PHYSICAL ATTACKS**

 **SURVIVES HITS FROM THE POWERPUFFS AND THE ROWDYRUFFS DAILY**

 **UNUSUALLY HIGH PAIN THRESHOLD OUT OF HER FIBRE-O-TOMIC-OMIC**

 **TRICKED SANTA INTO GIVING HER REAL SUPERPOWERS**

 **ONCE BOUGHT ALL OF TOWNSVILLE AND LEGALIZED ALL CRIME**

 ***Cue Gangreen Gang – the city of Soundsville (instrumental)***

Wiz: With her suit, Princess was capable of knocking out two of the powerpuff girls within three attacks. She also constantly takes hits from the powerpuff girls on an almost daily basis. And remember, these are the girls who can move faster than light and can lift mountains.

 **Boomstick: And even without the fibre-matic 9000...**

Wiz: Fibre-o-tomic-omic.

 **Boomstick: WHATEVER! Even without it, she can take an unusually high amount of damage. Her limo was once destroyed by the Rowdyruff boys WHILE SHE WAS IN IT, and she was perfectly fine and ready to sue their asses off!**

Wiz: And one time she tricked Santa Claus into thinking that she was the only girl on the nice list one year. As a result, he gave her the REAL superpowers she had always wanted.

 **Boomstick: What?! This little bitch gets superpowers from Santa, and I never got my Dinosaur?! Bullshit.**

Wiz: Buuuut, those powers were later taken away anyway... so yeah...

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **SUSCEPTIBLE TO ICE AND FREEZING**

 **CAN'T STRATEGIZE ON THE FLY**

 **IMMATURE AND QUICK TO ANGER**

 **DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HER OWN FAULTS**

 **Boomstick: Despite all her power, Princess does have some drawbacks. After all, she's only 5. And while she can sometimes act very intelligent and mature for her age, even thinking up some pretty crafty plots if given the time, she's not very good at showing this maturity and intelligence in a fight.**

Wiz: It's true. If Princess finds herself in a fight, she will often simply try to outmatch her foe with brute force if she didn't have a plan already prepared. Not only this, but if things don't go her way, she will get very angry very quickly, and even throw temper tantrums. She also has no real defence against ice and freezing. This was how her original Fibre-o-tomic-omic was destroyed.

 **Boomstick: To top it all off, Princess sees herself as an idol of perfection and is adamant that she has no faults, which just means she won't ever try to calm her anger or think of backup plans.**

Wiz: But despite all this, Princess is a true powerhouse and an amazingly tough rival to the powerpuff girls. She will stop at nothing to get what she wants and with her Fibre-o-tomic-omic, she may not need to stop for anything at all.

 **Boomstick: Except the Powerpuffs. They're not gonna let her join ever. How does she not get that yet..?**

Blossom: This better be good, Princess...

Princess: It will be! I promise! Just follow me!

 ***Cut music and doors close***

 ***Cue Bowser Jr.'s Airship armada – Mario galaxy***

Wiz: King Bowser Koopa is the feared and tyrannical ruler of the koopa troop. A vast army of Goombas, Koopas, bob-ombs and many many more. Leading this army are his seven generals, the koopalings. But who is charge of them..? Why his son, of course. Prince Bowser Junior.

 **Boomstick: Heh... Nepotism.**

 **NAME: BOWSER JUNIOR**

 **AGE: 9-10**

 **HEIGHT: 4'4"**

 **SECOND IN COMMAND OF THE KOOPA TROOP**

 **LEFT HANDED**

 **SHIGERU MIYAMOTO IS HIS MOTHER**

 ***Cue Bowser Jr. - New Super Mario Bros. Wii***

Wiz: Raised by his single father for around 10 years, Bowser Junior is the prince of the koopa troop. And when he wants something, well... he gets it! Whether that's through his father getting it for him or simply going out and getting it himself.

 **Boomstick: Wait, He's the prince? What about to koopalings? Aren't they, like his siblings?**

Wiz: Actually, no. At least, not biologically. It's been confirmed that the koopalings are not Bowser's children. They could possibly be nephews and nieces to bowser, or maybe adopted. But nothing has been confirmed except that Bowser Jr is his only biological child.

 **Boomstick: Huh... Well, anyway. Bowser Junior gets what he wants, regardless of anything or anyone in his way. Even a mother.**

Wiz: When Bowser Jr asked his father about his mother, Bowser never gave him a real answer. Rather, he lied to his own son by saying that Princess Peach was his mom. And that Mario was the one kidnapping the Princess.

 **Boomstick: Junior was furious at the "Bad man, Mario" and began hatching a plan to steal his "mother" back from him. A plan so crazy... it just might work. He would disguise himself as Mario, cover the popular holiday destination of Isle Delfino in goop, and have Mario arrested for it. Then, while he was locked away, he would steal Peach back from him.**

Wiz: The plan worked surprisingly well, except Mario wasn't locked up. He was instead sentenced to community service and forced to clean up the mess that Junior had made.

 **Boomstick: Community service is, like, the worst sentence someone could get. Helping others by cleaning up their mess... I'd rather get life!**

 **FIRE BREATH - FIRE STREAMS AND HOMING FIRE BALLS**

 **STURDY SPIKED KOOPA SHELL**

 **SONIC ROAR - TEMPORARILY SHRINKS FOES**

 **SHADOW MARIO BANDANA**

 **MAGIC PAINTBRUSH - CREATES PORTALS AND DAMAGING GOOP**

 ***Cue Castle Boss – New Super Mario Bros. Wii***

Wiz: Bowser Junior, despite being young is a pretty tough fighter. As a Koopa, he has an incredibly tough spiky shell on his back that he can hide inside of in he needs to fight defensively. And, while he's in the shell, he's still a threat, as he can spin around and dash back and forth to attack while he's hidden away. And despite not being able to see, he somehow seems to always know where his target is while hidden in his shell.

 **Boomstick: And, like any good dragon, Junior is capable of breathing fire. At first, all he could manage were a few embers and some smoke. But since then he's been practising and can now shoot fireballs from his mouth which home slightly, or streams of fire for a close range attack.**

Wiz: He also wears the Shadow Mario Bandana. When he covers his snout with this bandana, Bowser Junior takes on the form of his enemy, Mario, and gains the ability to do everything Mario can do. Including jumping high, breaking bricks with his bare hands and becoming basically equal to Mario in every way.

 **Boomstick: Hey, wiz? Has anyone every shouted at you so loud that before you have a chance to emotionally respond you just feel... small? Well, Bowser Jr can LITERALLY do that. His sonic roar attack lets him temporarily shrink his opponents, lowering their strength and speed. Though this only lasts for about 10-20 seconds.**

Wiz: In addition to these abilities, Bowser Junior wields the magic paintbrush. A device created and given to him by Professor E. Gadd, who was under the impression that he was giving the paintbrush to Mario at the time. This magic paintbrush can be used to create many types of graffiti with many different effects.

 **Boomstick: One kind of graffiti goop damages a foe the longer they stand in it. Plus junior himself is completely immune to this effect. Another type of goop allows Junior to create pulsating yellow forcefields.**

Wiz: Well, I wouldn't exactly call them forcefields. More like small yellow blockades. And they can be dissolved by fruit juice.

 **Boomstick: Fruit juice?!**

Wiz: Ok, yeah. It's a very odd and specific weakness for a substance to have, but it's also the only weakness it has. Fruit juice is the only thing that can dissolve this stuff. Unfortunately, that goes for Bowser Junior too. He can't remove them either unless he has some juice ready on standby.

 **Boomstick: Fuckin' fruit juice... Really?! Ugh... Anyway, The final kind of graffiti that the magic paintbrush can create is rainbow graffiti. This stuff, when painted on a surface, can be used as an instant teleportation portal to anywhere Junior wants to go.**

Wiz: In Mario sunshine, he usually paints this in an M shape, but this not necessary, and was only done to try and incriminate Mario further.

 **Boomstick: So what else has the little runt got?**

 **THE JUNIOR CLOWN CAR - UNIQUE DESIGN JUST FOR HIM**

 **SAWS, DRILLS, WRECKING BALLS AND VARIOUS RANDOM WEAPONS**

 **ROBOTIC ARMS**

 **CAR FORM**

 **MECHA-KOOPAS**

 **THE KOOPA CANNON**

 ***Cue Enter Bowser Jr.! - Mario Galaxy***

Wiz: He pilots the Junior Clown Car, a miniature version of his father's Koopa Clown Car. It's a one man, propeller powered, flying machine that can also transform into a car form to dash around and charge into enemies.

 **Boomstick: Not only that, but it also houses SOOOOO many weapons! Let's list 'em off! We got; circular saws, drills, wrecking balls, a fork and A freaking tongue?! What the actual hell!?**

Wiz: It also houses a seemingly endless supply of Mecha-Koopas, small automatic robots that will wander around and explode upon contact with an enemy. However, If picked up before they have a chance to detonate, they can be thrown right back. In addition to all this, it also features two robotic arms that can either be used to hold objects and grab enemies, or simply deliver a rapid flurry of punches.

 **Boomstick: Moving onto what's truly important, within the mouth of the Junior Clown Car is a cannon! This powerful weapon fires large spherical hunks of raw iron at foes and can be charged for extra power and range.**

Wiz: and while it's not technically a part of the Junior Clown Car, Bowser Junior also keeps a hammer in there that he can use to smack his foes around.

 **MINIATURE AIRSHIP**

 **MECHA BOWSER**

 **MEGALEG**

 **MEGAHAMMER**

 **THE BOOMSDAY MACHINE**

 ***Cue Megaleg Phase 2 - Super Mario Galaxy***

Wiz: Bowser Junior also commands his own airship. His airship is much smaller than most of the ships in Bowser's fleet, but it's still a deadly force. Much like the clown car, it has propeller powered flight.

 **Boomstick: More importantly though, it has 6 cannons on it! That's 3 on each side. Each of these cannons can fire bombs that explode on contact and homing bullet bills. Also, there figurehead on the front of the ship, shaped like Junior's father, can fire a wave of three flaming rocks from it's mouth.**

Wiz: Moving away from weapons for a moment, Bowser Junior may be a spoiled little brat, but he's actually surprisingly intelligent. With a help from his father, Bowser Junior was able to design and construct several giant mechs which he used to fight against Mario!

 **Boomstick: The first was Mecha-Bowser. A gigantic, immobile, robot copy of his old man. It's got five homing bullet bill launchers on it's chest and a powerful flamethrower inside it's mouth.**

Wiz: The head can remove itself from the body by use of a propeller and a hot air balloon as a means of escape if the machine is destroyed.

 **Boomstick: AHEM! Sorry Wiz, but we're talking about mechs here. Leave this to me! The next mech was Megaleg. This enormous tripedal machine is remote controlled, so Junior doesn't need to ride it to fight with it. Each of it's three legs are huge and capable of crushing foes. It also features TONS of bullet bill launchers all over itself! The third mech was the powerful Megahammer. This mech also has multiple bill launchers, as well as a huge banzai bill launcher! It can fire of laser shockwaves and, as you probably guessed from the name, it has two giant hammers for arms that it can use to crush foes. Unlike Megaleg, Megahammer requires a pilot, but just like Mecha-Bowser it's head can eject as an escape pod. And finally, we have my personal favourite, The Boomsday Machine. This one is another one that needs a pilot. It's a slow moving, tower of a tank that has giant rotating firebars, fireball launchers and powerful fans that can push away approaching threats with a huge gust of wind! Ooooooh... It's beautiful!**

Wiz: Uhh... You ok, Boomstick..?

 **Boomstick: Shhh... J-just... Gimmie a second...**

Wiz: AHEM... Anyway, despite being very powerful, all of his mechs have extremely obvious weak spots. Megahammer has three large blue circles on it's body that can be broken through by rebounding it's own bullet bills back at it. Megaleg has a glass top that, when broken, removes it's power source, making it useless. And The Boomsday Machine also has a glass dome on top through which the driver can be seen.

 **Boomstick: Phew. Sorry about that. I'm back…**

Wiz: The only mech without a weak spot it Mecha-Bowser. But Mecha-Bowser is pretty shoddily put together, and a couple hits can shut it down.

 **FEATS**

 **CASUALLY FIGHTS MARIO AND LUIGI BY HIMSELF**

 **DESIGNED HIS MECHS BY HIMSELF AND BUILT THEM WITH HELP**

 **STRATEGIC MINDSET**

 **SURVIVED HIS BOOMSDAY MACHINE EXPLODING**

 **TRICKED AN ENTIRE ISLAND INTO THINKING MARIO WAS A CRIMINAL**

 ***Cue Cue Bowser Jr's Fiery Flotilla – Mario Galaxy 2***

Wiz: Despite only being young, Bowser Junior is tough as nails. He constantly fights against Mario bare handed and even fought Mario and Luigi at the same time while in his junior clown car.

 **Boomstick: And we all know that for a couple plumbers, those brothers are surprisingly strong!**

Wiz: He's smart enough to have designed four giant mechs all by himself and pilot them all too. On top of this, when in a fight he's open to switching up his strategy or going for cheap shots if his current plan of attack isn't working.

 **Boomstick: He easily survived the explosion that occurred when his Boomsday Machine was destroyed and his shell is almost indestructible!**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **COCKY AND ARROGANT**

 **VULNERABLE OUT OF HIS SHELL**

 **CAN OFTEN BE LAZY**

 **LACKS HAND TO HAND COMBAT SKILLS**

Wiz: All of that aside though, Bowser Junior has his downsides. He can be very cocky and arrogant, often dancing, taunting and laughing at his foes during a fight. And while he often does a good job keeping a cool head, he will eventually lose his temper. Not to mention that Junior can sometimes be just a little lazy.

 **Boomstick: A little? He's recently started using his junior clown car to play tennis! He plays tennis IN A VEHICLE. That's not just lazy. That's downright not giving a shit!**

Wiz: Well, yeah. You're right. He also prefers fighting in his clown car which is understandable. Outside of his Shadow Mario transformation, Bowser Junior doesn't have much in the way of hand to hand combat. Not only that, but when his head's not in his shell, it's pretty vulnerable. But Bowser junior still powerful.

 **Boomstick: Junior has adopted his father's saying of "Grin and bear it. And if that doesn't work, Grin and crush it."**

Wiz: With a combination of his thick shell, bright mind and powerful machines, he could easily do either of those strategies.

 **Boomstick: Now if only his attitude was less... bratty. That's about the only thing stopping him from being awesome in my book.**

Bowser Jr.: This time, I won't even need my Dad's help to take care of you!

 ***Cut music and doors close***

Wiz: Alright, The combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

 **Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLLLLLE!**

 ***Cut music and doors close***

PPG Narrator: "THE CITY OF TOWNSVILLE! Such a nice day in town as usual. It seems the powerpuff girls are having a nice day off for a change. Well that's boring. Maybe we should see what's going on with one of their fiendish foes!"

In the centre of town, a pure white stretch limousine is parked out in front of a multi-story department store. Up on the third floor, a rather short figure walks up to the counter, covered in a hat and trench coat.

"Ahem!" Came a female voice from beneath the hat. "I'm here for the... special section of the store..." the voice said again. It seemed to have a very light lisp to it.

"Special section..? I'm not sure what you mean..." The attendant at the counter said, drumming his fingers on the counter. "Could you specify..?"

"I could, but that would be wrong..." She said, completing the password. The attendant at the counter pressed a button and a door opened up behind him. The short figure pushed the attendant aside and entered the door, into the black market. She threw off her hand and threw her trench coat aside too. It was Princess Morbucks. Wearing he everyday clothes of a white shirt, yellow sweater, purple skirt and, of course, her signature crown. She began to walk through the market, looking around at the various stolen valuables, weapons and other various items.

"Miss Morbucks! Miss Morbucks!" Called out a crazy voice. Princess followed the voice and looked over to see a crazed looking scientist.

"Do I know you..?" Princess asked, raising an eyebrow and folding her arms.

"N-no! But I know all about you! And I've got just the thing you've been looking for!" The scientist said excitedly, diving back into his stall and rummaging around before finally pulling out a glass vial filled with a strange black liquid and labelled "Chemical X". "Well? What do ya think?"

Princess gasped. That was exactly what she needed. "Using that chemical X... I could have my lab create a potion or something that could give me super powers..! NO WAY!" She cheered out happily. "I'll take it! How much?!"

"$90,500,000" The scientist said, with an evil grin. Princess seemed unfazed though.

"What? That's all? Wait here! I'll be right back. The rest of my money is with Carmichael in the limo!" And then she ran of, cheering happily to herself. But, just across the room, another young villain had over heard the conversation. The prince of koopas stomped across the room over to the scientist.

"Hey! You there!" Demanded Bowser Junior. "Hand over that Chemical X stuff! I wanna make myself some super powers!"

"Sorry, Sonny! You're a little late. I've already got a sale. If you want it, you're gonna have to outbid her." the scientist said, before laughing evilly and pointing at Junior. Junior could feel his anger building. He didn't like when people said no to him.

"But. I. **W** **ANT IT!** " He suddenly screamed out, with impossible volume, causing the scientist to literally shrink. While the scientist was shrunk, Junior wandered over and delivered a strong kick, sending the tiny man right across the room. Then he swiped up the vial of Chemical X. "Ha-ha! Mine!"

"Umm... I think you'll find that chemical X is MINE, lizard-breath" Said Princess, having returned to the black market. Junior retreated into his shell, still holding the vial, and when he came back out, he wasn't holding it anymore. He'd left it inside his shell.

"Sorry, but if you want this stuff back, you're gonna have to go through me!" Junior proclaimed loudly.

"Hmph! So be it!" Replied Princess.

 ***Cue Fight the Power - Bis***

 **FIGHT**

Princess immediately reached up to her head and pulled two Razor Tiaras from behind her crown and threw them at Bowser Junior. Junior stood perfectly still and crossed his arms. The two razor tiaras flew straight past him, missing him entirely. Bowser Junior couldn't help but let out a loud laugh at Princess' horrible aim. Princess growled at Junior's taunting and grabbed another Razor Tiara and threw it. This time, the aim improved greatly and smacked Junior right between the eyes. Junior's laughing was quickly replaced by growling. He retreated into his shell again and began spinning before launching himself at Princess. Without much time to react, princess fired a grapple up to the ceiling and used it to pull herself out of harms way, so she was hanging from the ceiling. Sensing she had moved, Junior came out of his shell, looking around for Princess, before finding her hanging from the ceiling by her grapple. He opened his mouth and fired three fireballs out and up at her. The first two hit her backside, burning her lightly. "Ow! Hey, watch where you're shooting those things! This skirt is worth more than your entire existence!" She called down. Then, the third fireball hit her grapple line, causing her to suddenly fall, smacking face first into the floor. Junior once again retreated into his shell and began spinning, launching himself at Princess again. This time, though, she was still getting up and was a very easy target. He smacked right into her, sending her flying across the room and smashing through a window, right down to the sidewalk below.

Princess pulled herself up to her feet, groaning in pain. Her body was sore all over from the fall. "Ugh... I gotta get my fibre-o-tomic-omic!" She spotted her limo not too far away and quickly ran towards it. Back up in the black market, Junior pulled his magic paintbrush out of his shell and used it to create a portal, which he leapt through. The portal led him down to the sidewalk, right next to a pure white limo. He looked around for a moment, looking for the girl he was fighting, when suddenly, the trunk of the limo swung open and Princess stood there in her fibre-o-tomic-omic powersuit. "TA DA!" She called out, showing off her outfit. Junior growled and gave a big swing with his paintbrush, sending a large blob of graffiti goop at Princess. She quickly brought up a forcefield, stopping the graffiti, then activated her jetpack, blasting forwards and punching Junior right in the face, sending him back a few feet.

 ***Cue Shadow Mario – Mario Sunshine***

Junior quickly pulled himself up. "Fine. You wanna change? I'll change too..." Junior pulled off his usual white bandana to reveal his Shadow Mario Bandana underneath. He pulled it up over his snout and transformed into Shadow Mario. Using her jet pack, Princess blasted towards him again, fist pulled back and ready to strike. Shadow Mario acted quickly and drew a small yellow squiggle in midair, creating a graffiti forcefield. Princess crashed right into it, unable to break through. Then, Shadow Mario jumped right over it and swung his brush, performing a quick combo of strikes with it. Princess charged her hands with electricity and fired a short range blast of lighting right at Shadow Mario, blasting him back. She then blasted forwards again and delivered a strong uppercut to the chin. Shadow Mario was launched up into the air, but he managed to land fairly well, thanks to having improved athleticism. Junior then removed his bandana. "Gah! This isn't working. I need more firepower!" He quickly scribbled up another portal and dived through. As he jumped through, he left a graffiti forcefield on it to avoid Princess following him.

 ***Cue "Powerpuff Girls Movie BGM - Tag***

That didn't stop Princess from trying though. She flew after Junior and up to his shielded portal. She began attempting to punch and shoot her way through but she simply couldn't. Even her mighty fibre-o-tomic-omic couldn't break through it. "Grrr! GET BACK HERE WITH MY CHEMICAL X!" She suddenly burst out in a fit of anger.

"If you insist!" Came Junior's voice. She turned to see where it had come from, only to be greeted by the Junior Clown Car in car form, inches away from her. Junior slammed into her and used his hammer to beat her on the head a few times. She responded by firing a laser blast form the gem on her crown right into his face. She managed to fly off of the clown car finally, and it took to the air right after her with it's propeller. Princess cracked her knuckles and blasted forwards, ready to punch Junior right in the nose when. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Junior shrieked, right in Princess's face, causing her to shrink down to about a quarter of Junior's height.

"W-what the..?!" Princess said, completely caught off guard.

The Junior Clown Cars' arms came out, with boxing gloves on the end. "G'night, Moneybags!" Taunted Junior, before he slammed the boxing gloves together, with princess in between them. "Ha! Too easy!" He cheered. He retracted the arms back into the clown car, only to be shocked when he didn't see Princess there. "Wait... WHAT?!" Suddenly, something hit him on the back of the head. Hard. "Ouch!" Then again, this time from the side. Then again from another angle. It was princess! She was flying around him in a circle, firing lasers from her palms at him. "What?! How did you dodge that?!"

Princess didn't answer. She just kept flying around, angrily shooting lasers at Junior until the sonic scream finally wore of and she grew back to her normal size. She let out a relived sigh that it wasn't a permanent change and she gave a downward kick to the top of Junior's head, sending him and the clown car back down to ground level. Princess flew right after them. As she flew at him, Junior quickly tried to think up a plan, and then he thought of one. Princess finally caught up and threw another punch, But Junior just barely dodged it and used his robotic arm to grab one of the wings of Princess' jet pack, before slamming her against the ground repeatedly. Then, without giving her time to recover, he launched an all out assault. He hit her with everything. The Drills, the saw, the tongue, the fork. He just kept on going and going. Finally, he got her trapped in a punching combo and ended it by swinging around a wrecking ball and sending Princess hurtling backwards down the street.

Princess was beginning to get frustrated. Her all out offensive strategy wasn't working as much as she first hoped. She's need to kick it up a notch. She slowly brought herself back to her feet. She looked up and saw Junior charging up his Koopa Cannon. She let the anger and rage build inside her, knowing that this turtle had her chemical X only fuelled her strength. Finally, Bowser Junior fired the cannon at full charge, launching a cannonball at Princess. With a yell of fury, she swung her fist and connected with the cannonball... and it went flying right back at junior! Shocked at this, Junior quickly tried to get out the way, but simply didn't manage it in time. The cannonball collided with his Junior clown car and knocked him back and out of it. He fell to the ground a couple of feet from the Clown car. Princess, using her jetpack, blasted off high into the sky, before dropping back down, right on top of the junior clown car, crushing it to pieces.

Junior was starting to get frustrated now. But he was keeping a clear head as best he could. He needed to strategize. He pulled out his paintbrush again and made another portal with a forcefield blockade. Princess folded her arms, wondering what the dragon wannabe would be bringing in next.

 ***Cue Airship Boss (Bowser Jr.) - New Super Mario Bros. Wii** *

He question was quickly answered when an airship flew down from the sky, with Bowser Junior dancing on top of it. Princess glared up at the airship. "Seriously? You're gonna fight me with tiny pirate ship?. It's wooden..."

"Nope! I'm just gonna pilot my Megaleg from up here!" Bowser Junior replied, pulling out a small remote and pressing a big red button. Suddenly, from the sky, a giant three legged robot dropped down and towered above Princess. Both the airship, and Megaleg, Began firing bullet bills down towards Princess. She charged her palms with energy and fired off laser blasts, destroying the bullets as they closed in on her.

She took to the sky again and flew above Megaleg, spotting a glass dome directly on the top of it, surrounded by a metal fence. "Heh~ that looks like a weak spot if I've ever seen one!" She chuckled to herself before blasting down and delivering a powerful punch to the dome, immediately breaking the glass and removing the power source from Megaleg, causing the robot to collapse right there. Junior was shocked. Megaleg was down just as quickly as it got here! He quickly piloted the Airship to face Princess and fire some flaming rocks at her. She blasted them out of the sky easily though.

"Gah... This is not going well..." Junior said, looking down at his remote control. "Ugh. FINE! Time to bring out the big guns! THE BOOMSDAY MACHINE!" He pressed another button and from the sky another machine dropped down. A large vehicle that seemed like a cross between a Tower and a Tank. Junior dropped the anchor for his airship and leapt from it into the cockpit for the Boomsday machine. He then immediately began blasting fireballs at Princess. She brought up another forcefield around herself, shielding herself from the fireballs and scanned around the machine looking for weakspots again. And once again, she spotted Bowser Junior inside the glass cockpit, driving the machine.

"Alright, dino. I'm getting bored and tired of waiting. It's time for you to give back my Chemical X!" She screamed, blasting down and shattering clean through the glass. She delivered one good punch to the inside of the cockpit and the Boomsday Machine blew up. Junior went flying down the street, hidden safely in his shell from the explosion, but the vial of Chemical X rolled out of his shell. He slowly brought himself out of his shell. He was weak and sore all over. Princess carefully flew down and landed next to him, picking up the glass vial. "Ahh. Finally. Looks like this is all over. See, all you had to do was stop being such a spoiled brat and give me what I want~" Princess said.

 ***Dramatic music starts to slowly build***

Bowser Junior couldn't take it anymore. His temper had reached boiling point. And the hypocrisy in what Princess was saying was getting to him. "Do you know who I am? I'm Princess Morbucks! I'm richer than everyone you know combined! I'm the only person who deserves this Chemical X"

And that was it. Junior snapped. He opened his mouth wide and began charging up a massive blast of fire. "DIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE!" He screamed.

 ***Music cuts out***

"OH, PUT A CORK IN IT!" Princess screamed right back, suddenly shoving a wad of money into Bowser Junior's mouth. "Now if you don't mind, I have some superpowers to make." And just like that, Princess flew off, leaving Junior very confused... Then, the flames in Bowser junior's mouth ignited the wad of money. But this wasn't just an ordinary wad of money... It was a Moneytov.

BOOM! Bowser Junior's head suddenly exploded from the inside in a large ball of fire, setting the rest of his body on fire. Junior's now headless body slumped over onto it's stomach, blood pooling out of his neck.

 **K.O.**

 ***Doors close***

 ***Cue The fight (Instrumental) - Cornelius***

Princess cries to Bowser about something and Bowser looks shocked before storming off. As soon as Bowser exits, Princess stops her fake crying and pulls out the Chemical X, before laughing maniacally. Meanwhile, Bowser Junior's headless burning corpse lays in the street surrounded by broken machinery. The powerpuff girls are floating nearby, wondering what happened. Suddenly, Bowser leaps into frame and roars angrily at the powerpuff girls, thinking they killed his son.

 **Boomstick: Whoa... What a badass death. Talk about a moneyshot, am I right Wiz?**

Wiz: Despite Bowser Junior being slightly more strategic than Princess, and being able to keep a clear head, that means nothing when Princess' Fibre-o-tomic-omic outclassed him in pretty much every other way.

 **Boomstick: Without her powersuit, Princess was just a helpless 5 year old girl with a little more durability than usual, which gave Junior a big advantage, but the moment the fibrey thingy entered the picture, it was over for Junior.**

Wiz: It's been stated as fact that the fibre-o-tomic-omic gives Princess strength equal to that of a powerpuff girl and in the episode "Members only" Buttercup is shown lifting a mountain complete with a building on the top. If princess truly had that kind of strength, then nothing Bowser Junior threw at her would stand a chance. On top of this, she tanks physical blows from the powerpuffs everyday, which means she can take punches from the girls who can lift mountains!

 **Boomstick: PFF! The powerpuff girls are good guys. Surely they would hold back to avoid hurting her.**

Wiz: While that is a very plausible possibility, she also tanked a kick from Brick, leader of the evil counter parts of the Powerpuff girls, the rowdyruff boys. And the Rowdyruffs boys are equal to the girls in everyway too, except they don't hold back for any reason. On top of this, while Bowser Junior has never won a fight against Mario and Luigi, Princess (excluding her first fight) has never lost a fight with the Powerpuff girls. She always fights with enough skill and strength to match all three of them and is only defeated via unconventional means, such as tricking her or making deals with her.

 **Boomstick: And let's face it, as tough as Mario and Luigi are, they aren't exactly on the same level as the powerpuff girls, are they?**

Wiz: In the end, it really didn't matter what mechs or abilities Junior had. As long as Princess had her Fibre-o-tomic-omic, the prince of the koopas stood no chance.

 **Boomstick: Looks like Princess' riches really blew Junior's mind.**

Wiz: The winner is Princess Morbucks.

 ***Doors close***

Boomstick: Next time on death battle…

 ***Cue Chaos theme – Sonic adventure DX***

 **?:** **You're weak old man. Conquest is a job for a fiery *young* dragon!**

 **OOC Notes:**

FUN! I don't know why I didn't think to post these here on Fanfiction dot net sooner, but whatever. I hope you enjoy, guys! Also, please, PLEASE, don't suggest fight ideas. I already have 10 ready to go and I don't need more. Anyway, first correct guess on what the next time fight is wins… uhh… something? I dunno. A Cookie? Anyway, please review. I love reading them!


	2. Episode 2: Chaos VS Drago

Wiz: Fire vs water. It's a fight that rages through all of history. Too much fire will evaporate water, but too much water will put out a fire.

 **Boomstick: And today we're pitting an embodiment of each up against each other!**

Wiz: Chaos. The god of destruction and the guardian of the chao.

 **Boomstick: And Drago. The demon of fire and the son of Shendu.**

Wiz: Each of them are capable of absorbing more power to gain newer, more impressive, forms. But only one can win.

 **Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.**

Wiz: And it's our job to analysis their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.

 ***Close doors***

Wiz: Over 4000 years ago, the native echidnas of Mobius, "The Knuckles clan", had gained a new leader. Chief Pachacamac.

 **Boomstick: Uhh... I'm just gonna call him Patchy...**

Wiz: Unlike the peaceful chief before him, Pachacamac was only interested in building his clan's empire further. But he wasn't the only one. Another tribe of Echidna known as the Nocturnus Clan we also trying to expand. And when the two tribes began expanding over each other's space... war broke out.

 **Boomstick: Not too long into the war, Chief Patchy decided that in order to fully crush his enemies, he would need the power of the mighty chaos emeralds and their master. Against his daughters wishes, he stormed the Chaos Shrine and they awoke something and the... let's just say it wasn't a good day for the Knuckles clan.**

 **NAME: CHAOS**

 **AGE: OVER 4000 YEARS OLD**

 **SPECIES: MUTATED CHAO**

 **APPARENTLY OWNS A SODA CHAIN**

 **MADE OF PURE CHAOS ENERGY IN LIQUID FORM**

Wiz: Well, I wouldn't say they awakened anything. Chaos was already awake. Y'see, Chaos was the guardian of the shrine where the chaos emeralds were. But not so much to protect the emeralds. He focused most of his time protecting his chao brethren from harm, as well as his friend, Tikal. Chief Pachacamac's daughter.

 **Boomstick: Please, Wiz. Call him Patchy. Even hearing that mouthful makes me confused. But why did Chaos care more about the chao and some chick, rather than the 8 gems of ultimate power?**

Wiz: Well, Chaos is a chao himself. To be specific, he is a Chaos Chao that was mutated due to overexposure to the chaos emeralds and the master emeralds.

 **Boomstick: Using the chaos emeralds too much turn you into water?!**

Wiz: N-no, Boomstick. Chaos is isn't made of water. He's made of pure chaos energy in a liquid state.

 **Boomstick: That sounds just as bad!**

Wiz: Ugh... Anyway. When Chief Pachacamac...

 **Boomstick: AHEM.**

Wiz: *He sighs* When Chief Patchy and his men stormed the Chaos shrine...

 **Boomstick: ...That's better...**

Wiz: ...they hurt a great deal of chao, and even the chief's daughter, in the process. Then on top of this they tried to take the emeralds.

 **Boomstick: In a fit of rage, Chaos absorbed the negative energy of the chaos emeralds and unleashed his fury. He wiped out almost the entirety of the Knuckles Clan and was prepared to destroy the rest of the world. Until that chick friend of his stepped in and sealed both of them into the master emerald. Trapped with a woman because of a gem... Marriage is the worst prison.**

Wiz: The resulting energy output ripped the knuckles clan homeland from the earth to become angel island. Chaos and Tikal remained trapped there for millennia. Until one day the were set lose by the nefarious Dr Ivo Robotnik.

 **Boomstick: Good old Eggman snuck onto Angel and smashed the Master Emerald apart, setting both Chaos and Tikal free. He then... "Took control" of Chaos and set out to collect the seven emeralds, so he could harness Chaos's power to take over the world!**

 **STRETCHY FLEXIBLE BODY**

 **CAN PUNCH THOUGH THE HOOD, AND ENGINE, OF A CAR**

 **UNAFFECTED BY BULLETS**

 **CAN JUMP AT LEAST AS HIGH AS A STREET LIGHT**

 **CAN CHARGE HIMSELF WITH ENERGY FOR MORE POWER**

 **HYDROKINESIS, CAN BECOME WATER AT WILL**

 **MINOR CRYOKINESIS**

Wiz: Chaos is a powerhouse. Due being made of liquid, he is immune to bullets as his liquid body can slow down the bullets the moment they enter him. He is also able to morph his body. Whether that's by stretching his arms for a long range punch, melting into a puddle of water to escape into the ground.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, if there just happens to be a drain nearby. And isn't he NOT made of water?**

Wiz: Actually, Chaos is able to turn himself INTO water at will. And he has hydrokinesis on top of that. And he doesn't just need a drain, he can turn himself into water and sink into the earth itself.

 **Boomstick: Shit... That's creepy.**

Wiz: We're not even done. He's strong enough to punch through the engine of a police car with ease and can tunnel through rock and dirt just like Knuckles. He can jump from street level to the top of a street light too. To top it off, he can charge his body with his natural chaos energy for extra strength.

 **Boomstick: He can leave small puddles of himself as traps to hit foes and also has three special moves. Chaos Impact delivers a punch to the ground strong enough to trip distant foes. Chaos Strike creates a wave of chaos energy around the foe to damage and mess with their head. And Chaos Bind uses minor cryokinesis to freeze the air around the foe to keep them locked in place for a full 30 seconds. And this is all just stuff his base form can do!**

 **CHAOS 2**

 **Electric shield, Ball form, Flat form, liquid chaos blasts**

 **CHAOS 4**

 **Chaos shockwaves, improved hydrokinesis, 4-split attack, Excellent swimmer**

 **CHAOS 6**

 **Powerful inhale ability, high frog-like jump, tendrils, tail attack**

Wiz: Every time Chaos absorbs a chaos emerald into his body, he grows in size and strength. He gains new abilities too, all while retaining his old abilities from lower forms. Upon gaining one emerald, Chaos simply grows a little bigger. As Chaos 1 has never been seen in combat, we can't really analyze that form though.

 **Boomstick: When he gets two emeralds, Chaos becomes even bigger. Just look at this guy! He definitely skipped leg day!**

Wiz: Chaos 2 has very minor electrokinesis. He is able to create an electrical shield around his body to prevent foes from doing damage. Though it has a limit and can be broken just by repeatedly wailing on it over and over.

 **Boomstick: He can also curl up into a huge bouncing ball of water and jump around to crush foes. He can flatten down his whole body to cover the floor and pump damaging chaos energy through it. And he can fire blasts of liquid chaos energy too!**

Wiz: Chaos 3 has never been seen, but Chaos 4 on the other hand gains a shark-like appearance and becomes an extremely goods swimmer, darting through water at great speed with ease. Though it's very likely he could do this in any of his forms as he can simply become water at will. His skills with hydrokinesis also improve greatly and he can fire out chaos energy shockwaves. Finally, he also gains the ability to split his body into multiple, usually four, sections and charge at enemies.

 **Boomstick: Just like Chaos 1 and 3, almost nothing is known about Chaos 5, But Chaos 6 we do know about. Chaos 6 is a lot bigger than Chaos 4. Maybe triple the size? And he looks a lot more like a bug that a shark. Seriously, what must Chaos 5 look like to be the missing link between these two things? Anyway, Chaos 6 has a powerful inhale attack, and when he sucks in an enemy, he'll chew on them before spitting them right back out. Like Kirby, but not quite as horrifying and probably more painful.**

Wiz: Chaos 6 can also generate an unlimited amount of tendrils that he can launch at enemies to impale or just smack around. He can also jump incredibly high, in a fashion similar to that of a frog.

 **Boomstick: And finally, he can charge his tail with chaos energy and slash it around, much like a blade. Except, y'know, not quite as cool.**

Wiz: And finally, each time Chaos gains an emerald, he gains a new part of his metal skeleton. Each of these "bones" do nothing for combat, really. They only exist to hold the emeralds in place until he has all 7. However, with each emerald he gains, his body becomes more solid and harder to pass through. At Chaos 0, Sonic is effortlessly able to homing attack through the liquid body. But at Chaos 4, Sonic is able to physically hold on to Chaos while the creature tries to shake him off. And finally, Chaos 6 is tough enough to withstand a body slam from big the cat, and his body seemed to not be visibly affected at all.

 **Boomstick: So... What about when he gets the 7th emerald?**

Wiz: Well, y'see. When Chaos 6 was defeated by Sonic, Knuckles and... *Sigh* Big the cat... the heroes, and Eggman, thought he was dead. But Chaos 6 actually survived his fight, reverting back to Chaos 0, and made it back to the mainland after the crash of the Egg Carrier MK I. When he got back to the mainland, he found Eggman and Knuckles and immediately attacked them both and stole back the 6 emeralds Knuckles had taken. He then tracked down the final chaos emerald to just outside Big the Cat's house and absorbed it, to take on his final form... Perfect Chaos.

 **PERFECT CHAOS**

 **x1000 POWER INCREASE**

 **PERFECT HYDROKINESIS: CAN CREATE SHIELDS AND CYCLONES FROM WATER**

 **PURE CHAOS LASER BEAMS AND BLASTS**

 **TENTACLES SLICE THROUGH SKYSCRAPERS IN SECONDS WITH EASE**

 **CAN TANK AND REBOUND MISSILES**

 **Boomstick: Holy shit! That thing is huge!**

Wiz: Perfect Chaos is the true form of Chaos. He runs on the negative energy of the chaos emeralds and has a times 1000 power increase over his base form. He can slice through a skyscraper with a single swing of one of his tentacles. His hydrokinesis also becomes perfect, allowing him to control all of the water in a city. With this level of control, he was able to flood the entire city of station square in a matter of minutes.

 **Boomstick: This monstrosity can also fire huge beams of pure chaos energy from it's mouth. Look at this shit! He shot the fucking Egg Carrier MK II out of the sky with ONE SHOT!**

Wiz: It's true. Perfect Chaos has immense power. And it's not limited to just a beam either. He can also create cyclones to throw at his enemies or a rain of chaos energy blasts. On top of all these offensive capabilities, his defences improve too. His head and back now have a thick carapace to prevent anyone from getting through. Though the front of his body, while tougher than Chaos 6's body, is still liquid.

 **Boomstick: But he can still tank military grade missiles and laser blasts with ease. He can even create shields out of water which can rebound missiles!**

 **FEATS**

 **WIPED OUT THE ENTIRE KNUCKLES CLAN**

 **FLOODED A CITY WITHIN MINUTES**

 **SURVIVED A FIGHT WITH SUPER SONIC**

 **SHOT THE EGG CARRIER II OUT OF THE SKY WITH A SINGLE LASER**

 **SURPRISINGLY DURABLE BODY**

 **Boomstick: Chaos has some major accomplishments under his belt too. He wiped out the entire knuckles clan by himself and would have gone on to due the same to the rest of the world if Tikal hadn't stepped in.**

Wiz: As we mentioned before, his hydrokinesis is powerful enough to flood a city in minutes and his chaos energy beams are powerful enough to blast Eggman's battleship clean out of the sky.

 **Boomstick: He also survived a fight with Super Sonic! Y'know, the indestructible golden god!**

Wiz: Well, to be fair, Super Sonic wasn't trying to kill Chaos. He was neutralizing the Negative energy inside him with the positive energy of the chaos emeralds. That said, Super Sonic was able to blast inside of Chaos without causing any real damage to the beast.

 **Boomstick: Well, shit. This Chaos guy sounds WAY to powerful to be in death battle.**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **INCREDIBLY SLOW**

 **EXPOSED BRAIN WEAKSPOT**

 **BODY BREAKS DOWN IF DAMAGE IS TAKEN**

 **SUSCEPTIBLE TO BEING FROZEN**

Wiz: Not entirely. Chaos has quite a few weaknesses. The most prominent is the floating brain inside of his body. This brain is his weakspot and if that is destroyed, Chaos is dead. Plain and simple. To handle this, his body has a defense system. Upon taking damage to the brain, he will immediately breakdown into water to prevent his brain from being destroyed. However, this is guaranteed to happen, meaning he has no control over this.

 **Boomstick: And if his brain is destroyed quickly enough, it won't matter anyway.**

Wiz: He also has no defence against freezing and can easily be frozen into a block of ice. Though if smashed, he can simply reform anyway. But none of this is as bad as his biggest weakness.

 **Boomstick: He's SOOOOOOO SLOW!**

Wiz: Well... yeah. When he's not in water, Chaos moves at a snail's pace, trudging along the ground as if he were taking a leisurely stroll, even when in a fight. And this is true of all his forms, even Perfect Chaos.

 **Boomstick: So much for Running Water, Eh Wiz? Haha!**

Wiz: ...That was... That was possibly the worst pun you've ever made..

 **Boomstick: I'll be here all week~**

Wiz: Anyway, Chaos may be slow, but his power is immense, and it would take some enormous power to defeat him. There is a reason that his ultimate form is named Perfect.

Chaos:

 ***Close doors***

Wiz: Thousands of years ago, the world was ruled over with an iron fist by the 8 evil Demon Sorcerers. The leader of them was known as Shendu, the fire demon. However, thier rule was cut short by Good Chi Wizards who banished them to the Demon Vortex.

 **Boomstick: Despite this, Shendu was able to keep finding ways out of his imprisonment and attacking the world, until one time he was turned into a statue by a Good Chi Wizard known as Uncle Chan.**

Wiz: After becoming stone yet again, Shendu was imprisoned in the vault of the secret government agency known as Section 13. But a fast forward 15 years or so and a new villain had risen up to release Shendu. His son, Drago.

 **NAME: DRAGO**

 **AGE:18-25**

 **SPECIES: HALF DEMON SORCERER / HALF HUMAN**

 **COMES FROM THE FUTURE**

 **HAS SOME MAJOR DADDY ISSUES**

 **Boomstick: Hold up a second, Wiz. Did you say his son? If we're doing a Water VS Fire match, would his old man be a better fit thematically?**

Wiz: Technically yes, Chaos VS Shendu would work better thematically. But Shendu is literally immune to all damage and, well, death... So it would be a broken match. Drago isn't immortal or immune to damage, so the fight is already a hell of a lot fairer.

 **Boomstick: Oh, ok. Seems legit. Anyway, back to Drago. He popped up a decade or two after pops was locked up and became the new big threat of the world. He summoned a huge swarm of dragon minions and planned to use some dragon teeth to give his father physical form again.**

Wiz: In a last ditch effort to stop him, the then leader of Section13, Jade Chan, used a time travel spell to head back to the past and destroy the dragon's teeth, so they wouldn't exist to be used in the future.

 **Boomstick: But Drago caught wind of the plan and hitched a ride on the spell and followed her into the past. However, he was defeated by Jade Chan, her child self, and her uncle Jackie Ch-... JACKIE CHAN?!**

Wiz: Well... Kinda? The only thing The cartoon Jackie and the real Jackie have in common are the same name and maybe a few personality traits. Aside from that, they seem to be different people entirely.

 **Boomstick: I don't believe you...**

Wiz: As Boomstick was saying, Drago was defeated in the past. Future Jade returned to her own time, but left Drago behind, unable to return to his own time period. He was locked up in Section13 too, just like his dad.

 **SUPER STRENGTH: CAN TEAR THROUGH METAL WITH EASE**

 **SUPER AGILITY: SPEED, JUMPING, BALENCE, REACTION TIME, ECT.**

 **POSSESSES AN ULTRA LIGHT, FRICTIONLESS SKATEBOARD FOR TRAVEL**

 **CAN SUMMON DRAGON MINIONS**

 **SHEN LUNG - DRAGON OF WIND AND RAIN**

 **TI-LUNG - DRAGON OF RIVER AND WATER**

 **FIRE DEMON CHI**

 **PYRO KINESIS, FIRE BREATH (PRECISION STREAMS OR EXPLOSIVE FIREBALLS), HEAT BEAMS FROM EYES, CAN SHARE HIS POWERS WITH OTHERS**

 **Boomstick: Despite being defeated, Drago put up one hell of a 's an incredibly skilled martial artist, most likely well versed in Kung-fu and Karate. And, being part demon sorcerer, Drago is incredibly strong. He tore open hole in the roof of a car like it was wet paper!**

Wiz: But super strength is only one of his abilities. His natural fire demon chi gives him not only super strength, but also Superhuman speed/reaction time, the ability to jump great heights and scale walls with little effort. He even keeps this exact same level of agility and speed while he was wearing a bulky spacesuit WHILE UNDERWATER!

 **Boomstick: And in case you haven't already guessed, he can also breath fire!**

Wiz: And more! His fire demon chi gives him complete pyrokinesis. He can breath streams of fire for precision, or launch explosive fireballs capable of blowing clean through an armored truck. And it's not limited to fire breath either. He can create flames from his hands and heat beams from his eyes too.

 **Boomstick: And it probably won't help him in a one on one fight, But he's also capable of sharing these powers with others at will. And, in one of the Jackie Chan comics, he stole an Ultra-light, Frictionless, top of the line skateboard, capable of going faster than any known skate board.**

Wiz: The fastest skateboard speed achieved in a standing position is 129.94 km/h (80.74 mph), meaning Drago must be capable of going at least 130km/h on his skateboard.

 **Boomstick: But... He has superspeed already, right..? So why would he need that..?**

Wiz: I... Uhh... Huh. Pass.

 **Boomstick: Oh yeah! He can also summon two dragon minions, specializing in water. Shen Lung, And Ti-Lung.**

Wiz: Drago remained trapped in Section13 for a little while, but not too long after being locked up, he sensed something powerful and broke out. He escaped into San Francisco, and using his demon senses, he located the 7 immortal objects containing demon chi.

 **WIND DEMON CHI**

 **BLOW GALE FORCE WINDS FROM MOUTH**

 **WATER DEMON CHI**

 **HYDROKINESIS AND CAN BECOME WATER**

 **EARTH DEMON CHI**

 **IMPROVED PHYSICAL STRENGTH AND TERRAKINESIS**

 **MOON DEMON CHI**

 **GRAVITY CONTROL**

 **SKY DEMON CHI**

 **GAINS WINGS AND SUPERFAST FLIGHT**

 **THUNDER DEMON CHI**

 **ELECTROKINESIS AND CAN ABSORB LIGHTNING**

 **MOUNTAIN DEMON CHI**

 **GROWS IN POWER, DEFENCES AND SIZE UPON EATING ANYTHING**

 **Boomstick: Remember those 8 demon sorcerers that we mentioned right at the start? Well when they were banished, each one was banished using the same spell, but with a different tool. Each of these tools became the symbol of the immortals and they were spread out across the world. Thousands of years later, they activated and allowed whoever absorbed them to gain the abilities and appearance of the demon that the symbol was used to banish.**

Wiz: The paper fan used to banish Xiao Fung, the wind demon, gives the absorber the ability to breath gale force winds from their mouth.

 **Boomstick: The gourd used to banish the water demon, Bai Tza, gives the absorber hydrokinesis so they can control any nearby water, and the ability to become water at will. However, they can only create small amounts of water without a bigger summoning spell if no water is nearby to control.**

Wiz: The flower used to banish Dai Gui, the Earth Demon, greatly improves the absorber's physical strength, as well as giving them terrakinesis and the ability to tunnel through the ground at super speeds.

 **Boomstick: The lotus pod used to banish Tso Lan, the Moon Demon, gives the absorber complete control over gravity.**

Wiz: The flute used to banish the sky demon, Hsi Wu, gives the absorber wings and the ability to fly at least as fast as they can run.

 **Boomstick: The castanets used the banish the thunder demon, Tchang Zu, gives the absorber complete control over electricity, as well as the ability to absorb electricity to become stronger.**

Wiz: And finally, the drumsticks (were carved into chopsticks over the years) used to beat the drum that banished Po Kong, the mountain Demon, give the absorber a rather unique ability. They become capable of digesting, well, anything! On top of this, everything they eat makes the user grow in strength, defence and size!

 **Boomstick: Drago tried his damn best to absorb the demon chi and succeeded a few times, before the chi was eventually removed from him via magic. But that didn't last long.**

Wiz: Once all of the demon chi had been collected by the heroes, Drago hatched a plan to get all of it back in one fell swoop. He kidnapped Jackie, Uncle and then then leader of Section13, Captain Augustus Black, and demanded that Jade bring him the demon chi in exchange for them.

 **Boomstick: Like a good hero, Jade laid out a trap so that drago would be turned to stone like his father when he absorbed the demon chi, but the trap didn't work out and Drago finally achieved his goal. He had become... Ultra-Drago!**

 **ULTRA-DRAGO**

 **IRREMOVABLE POWERS**

 **CAN SHOOT FIRE LASERS**

 **CAN OPEN PORTALS TO THE DEMON UNDERWORLD**

 **CAN SHARE HIS DEMON CHI**

 **FIGHTS ON PAR WITH HIS FATHER, SHENDU**

Wiz: Ultra Drago is Drago's final, and most powerful, form. In this form, all of the demon chi is permanently attached to his body. This means he is capable of using any of the demon chi powers with absolutely no way of removing them from him. He also gains a simply immense powerboost, due to having so much demon chi in his body. This kind of power gave him the strength to fight on par with his own father, who was at full power at the time, with all 12 of his talismans.

 **Boomstick: Drago's fire demon chi also seems to get a power boost in this form. His flame control extends to give him the ability to shoot massive fire lasers from his mouth that can demolish buildings and tear apart landscapes.**

Wiz: He also gains the ability to tear open a hole to the Demon underworld. Using this hole, he can summon countless dragon minions. However, this portal can be closed by specific magical spells.

 **Boomstick: And, just like his base form, Ultra Drago is capable of sharing his powers with whoever he likes, but that still isn't gonna come into play in a one-on-one fight.**

 **FEATS**

 **HAS SUMMONED, AND TAKEN CONTROL OF NUMEROUS MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURES**

 **REPROGRAMMED JINZI**

 **SURVIVED A FALL FROM THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE**

 **SURVIVED KNOCKED OUT UNDERWATER FOR 5 MINUTES**

 **AS ULTRA DRAGO, TANKS MISSLES AND LASERS WITH EASE**

 **AS ULTRA DRAGO, LIFTED AND THREW HIS FATHER**

Wiz: In his base form, Drago is still pretty tough. He once fell from the golden gat bridge and was completely fine. He also survived while underwater for a whole five minutes and somehow didn't drown, despite still needing to breath since he's part human.

 **Boomstick: Also, for a teenage lizard-boy, Drago is pretty damn smart. He does his research and has been able to summon and take control of more mythological creatures than I could count on both hands! Not to mention he was able to reprogram Jinzi, the most advanced robot in the planet, and make the thing his remote controlled battle robot!**

Wiz: And this was all in his base form. In his Ultra-Drago form, he can tank military grade missiles and laser blasts with ease, and even eats them. And, thanks to his mountain demon chi, this makes him even bigger and tougher!

 **Boomstick: And, as we mentioned before, he was able to fight onpar with his father, Shendu. And Shendu is certainly no pushover in a fight. Hell, Drago even picked up and through his old man without breaking a sweat!**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **COCKY AND ARROGANT WITH A SHORT TEMPER**

 **FEAR OF WATER**

 **DOESN'T WORK WELL WITHOUT BACK-UP**

 **ALLERGIC TO GOOD CHI MAGIC**

Wiz: But Drago is certainly not perfect. He's still young, especially for a Demon. And with his young age comes a cocky, snarky and arrogant attitude, complete with an extremely short temper.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, he can often be a little shit. He also has a fear of water.**

Drago: The castanets are underwater. *Drago shudders* Not exactly my cup of chi.

Strikemaster Ice: Why you say that D? Don't tell me your scared of a little surf?

Drago: Scared? No. I just dislike being underwater because I can't do this! *breaths fire*

 **Boomstick: He says this is because he can't use his fire powers in water but it's kinda hard to tell if He's serious about that. Though this fear seems to vanish when he gets the water demon chi. Which makes sense, since he can control the stuff. And he also to have trouble working alone. Drago tried to get the water demon chi on his own, but failed and recognized that he simply needed some back up.**

Wiz: Since then, he hired the Ice crew. Strikemaster Ice, Dj Cobra and MC Fist to be his subordinates. But they are outside help, so they won't be helping him fight Chaos. And finally, as a demon, Drago has an inherent allergy to good chi magic. Any magic that derives from good chi will physically hurt him, regardless of the actual effect of the spell. Enough exposure to good chi magic will knock him out cold. Often for more than an hour.

 **Boomstick: Despite his weaknesses, Drago is hella determined. He understands his faults and is constantly working to get through them, or at least get around them. And he won't let a fear of water, or a lack of back up keep him from a goal.**

Wiz: He may not be immortal, like the rest of his family. But he is certainly still a huge threat, and a force to be reckoned : Mess with a dragon, You're gonna get burned!

 ***Close doors***

Wiz: Alright, The combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

 **Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLLLE!**

 ***Close doors***

Jackie, Jade and Uncle Chan had finally arrived. A strange floating island had appeared above the ocean just outside of San Francisco and Jackie and Uncle had gone to investigate. Jade tagged along, despite being told not to come.

"So, Uncle. Did your research help discover anything about this island?" Jackie asked.

Uncle replied with a nod. "Uncle knows very little, But this is very likely the Angel Island. Uncle's research says that it is home to strange creatures, as well as 8 mystical gems of power."

"Well, then why did you bring the chi-o-matic?" Jade asked, Poking at the device. She noticed that all seven demon chi were floating inside of it. Uncle must have forgotten to empty it.

"If gems are as powerful as legends say, it is very likely we will run into Drago around here. If we do, Uncle will finally remove his fire demon chi." The old man replied. The group came to a stop when they came to a large, ruined looking shrine with a faint green glow coming from the top, and a small gem on top of each of the seven pillars. "We are here. This must be the shrine of Chaos..."

The three of the began climbing the steps, Jade stopping to look at the cute blue creatures playing around it. Before the got close to the top, though, a short red figure came into view. "Who are you three? And what business do you have on Angel Island."

Jackie knew the look on the creatures' face. It was a look of someone who was ready to fight. "O-oh! We're just sightseeing, really. There is also the slight possibility of a Dragon-Boy showing up to steal the gems on that shrine.

The red thing didn't look convinced. "What, do you think i'm an idiot? I'm not falling for that again!" He said angrily.

"Again..?" Jackie wondered to himself.

"I'm Knuckles, guardian of this shrine. And no ones' touching the chaos emeralds or the master emerald on my watch!"

" **You sure about that, Furball?** " Came an odd echoey voice. Suddenly, from the forest, Drago and his backup, (Strikemaster Ice, DJ Cobra and MC Fist) leapt into view. " **I'll be taking these chaos emeralds, thanks. Ice crew! Keep the chans and the guardian busy!** " Drago ordered. His lackies nodded and leaped at the Chans and Knuckles.

As the fight began, Drago made his way up to the top of the shrine. He grinned at the master emerald greedily and took a step towards it when he heard a yelp. He looked down and noticed he'd stepped on one of those small blue creatures. A chao. " **Tch...** " He rolled his eyes and unapologeticly kicked the chao aside without a second thought.

But, at the moment his foot connected with the poor creature, an odd blue liquid began to seep out of the master emerald. Drago watched in confusion as the liquid formed together into a body. It was Chaos.

" **Ha! And who are you supposed to be?** " Drago asked, smirking. Chaos said nothing and just glared at him. " **What, You wanna stop me? Go on then. Just try it, ya puddle!** " Drago taunted taking a fighting stance. Chaos continued to stare...

 **FIGHT**

Chaos began slowly trudging toward Drago. Drago couldn't help but laugh at him. " **Geez, what are made of? Glue?** " Suddenly, Chaos stopped and launched his fist forward, punching Drago directly in the face and launching back out of the shrine. Drago landed at the bottom of the stairs and looked around, seeing that Chan and Knuckles had managed to knock out the ice crew. He growled and looked back up at Chaos, who was standing at the edge of the top of the shrine.

Jackie began moving toward Drago, But Knuckles stopped him. "You may be tough, tourist. But leave this to Chaos." Knuckles said, grabbing Jackie Jade and Uncle and dragging them away from the fight. No one noticed immediately, but the chi-o-matic came loose from Uncle's belt while being pulled away and landed on the ground, cracking a little.

Drago opened his mouth and launched a fireball at Chaos, but the liquid creature leapt high into the sky and came crashing back down, punching Drago in the face once again. But Drago was prepared this time. He took the hit and went for a gut punch, only for his fist to go right through Chaos, failing to cause any damage whatsoever. While Drago was caught off guard, Chaos delivered an uppercut to his chin, sending Drago flying back again. He was at the very edge of the shrine now. " **Lucky shot, Freak. I'm gonna enjoy steaming you!** " Drago began firing off a volley of fireballs towards Chaos. Chaos melted down into a puddle to avoid being hit and slithered along the ground. The moment Drago stopped shooting, he reformed and punched the ground hard. The ground shook from the chaos impacts attack and Drago stumbled backwards, falling over. As he was getting up, Chaos flexed out his arms and a blue wave of energy, the chaos strike attack, surrounded Drago's head, before suddenly condensing and hitting Drago. Everything seemed to be spinning and he couldn't quite get his bearings, stumbling around as Chaos made his way slowly closer.

From Drago's point of view, there were multiple Chaos making their way towards him. quickly figuring out his mind had been attacked, he began lashing out at them, his hands phasing through the fakes. By the time Chaos was right next to him, and raising his fist to attack, the confusion effect wore off and Drago delivered and sudden punch. A direct hit to Chaos' brain. Chaos' body broke down and collapsed into water. Drago watched as what was left of Chaos seeped into the ground. " **Heh. Too easy...** " He said, making his way back up toward the master emerald. When he got there, though, he saw something odd. Water had began seeping out of the ground. A lot of it. And then it all formed together and reformed Chaos 0. " **Grr... Are you kidding me?!** " Chaos didn't reply and fired off both of his arms to two of the pillars surrounding the shrine, absorbing the emeralds from there. In a flash of light, Chaos 0 had transformed into Chaos 2. He was now slightly bigger than Drago, as opposed to half his size. " **Well... I didn't expect that...** "

Chaos 2 suddenly stabbed his fist into the ground and it came up from the ground fight underneath Drago, giving him another upper cut to the chin and once again launching him off of the shrine. This time, through, Drago landed perfectly and even blasted off a few fireballs at Chaos. The first hit Chaos' chest, blasting a hole through him. But Chaos seemed unaffected. He formed into a huge ball of water and bounced from the top of the shrine, right down toward Drago. Drago used his super speed to dash out of the way. Then he quickly turned and fired heat beams from his eyes at Ball form Chaos 2. He once again blasted two holes through him, but it didn't seem to do much else.

Chaos changed back into his regular body and charged his fist with Chaos Energy, before stabbing it into the ground again. But Drago had learnt his lesson from last time. In a split second, Drago leapt out of the way as the fist came out of the ground beneath him, and latched onto one of the nearby pillars. " **Ha! Not this time, Gooey.** " Chaos retracted his arms and launched one in a stretch punch at Drago. But once again, Drago effortlessly dodged. The fist connected with the pillar and smashed straight through, sending it tumbling down and just barely hitting the Chi-O-Matic, causing one of the demon chi to get loose. Drago immediately sensed it. " **The thunder demon chi?!** " He looked around and spotted the floating ghostly image of a pair of castanets. He dashed for them immediately and swallowed them whole. He began changing slightly. He still looked mostly the same, but minor features had began to look more like his uncle Tchang Zu.

Electricity crackled around his fist and he dashed towards Chaos with a smirk. He attempted to deliver a thunder charged punch to Chaos's brain, but Chaos brought up his electricity shield. Drago's fist didn't penetrate, but he tried again. Nothing. " **Electro shield, huh? No problem.** " He opened his fist up and absorbed the thunder shield before delivering a powerful punch to Chaos 2's brain, causing the creature the break down again. Drago knew that wouldn't be the end though. Not after last time. He watched as Chaos 2's remains were absorbed into the ground once again. " **Now where are you going, you big drip..?** " Chaos reappeared exactly where he had last time. At the top of the shrine. He launched out two of his arms again and absorbed another two of the emeralds that were on the pillars. He shrank just a little in height now, but seemed to be floating slightly off of the ground. " **Oh, so you're a shark now? Figures.** "

Drago launched a bolt of lightning up at Chaos 4, who took the hit. His liquid body preventing the electricity from making it all the way through to his brain. Chaos gave a flip and fired a shockwave of chaos energy from his tail, knocking into Drago' chest and sending him back a little bit. He didn't stay down for long though, quickly flipping back up onto his feet. Drago tried to fire off another Fireball, but Chaos 4 raised an arm and fired off a blast of water at Drago, putting out the fireball before it could connect. Drago seemed kind of confused now. This creature didn't conduct electricity, so it clearly wasn't water. But it still could control water. That could be a problem. He began running, creating fireballs in his hands and throwing them as he ran in circles. Chaos split into four small balls of water and suddenly hurled themselves at Drago. Drago expertly somersaulted over and under all of the orbs, even kicking one of them away. Suddenly, his demon chi sense went off again. Another demon chi had managed to get out of the Chi-O-Matic.

Drago took a deep sniff of the air to identify which chi it was. " **Ahh. Aunt Bai Tza. Just in time!** " As Chaos 4 began to reform, Drago dashed off toward the floating Gourd and ate it whole, just as he did with the castanets. And then he changed again. His scales were now blue, rather than green, and his hands became webbed. He had the water demon chi. Chaos 4 fired off another few blasts of water at Drago. But Drago simply bended the blasts down into the ground, stopping them from coming anywhere near him. " **Oh yeah. You're not the only one who can play with water!** " Drago said with a smirk, charging up a small ball of water in his hand and hurling it at Chaos 4, followed by a blast of lightning. Chaos was unable to dodge, but seemed to take the hits well. What he didn't take well was Drago running at him and giving a powerful kick to his brain. As Chaos' body broke down, Drago immediately knew what to do. He'd seen what this creature had done twice now. He leapt at the nearest pillar and quickly climbed up to the top, snatching the chaos emerald. " **You're not getting any more of these on my watch.** " He prepared to leap over to the other two remaining chaos emeralds, but Chaos had already launched his stretchy arms up and absorbed them. In a flash of life, Chaos 4 almost tripled in size, becoming Chaos 6. The brain now looked more like a stomach in the centre of it's body.

Drago let out a growl. Still, he had the seventh emerald. As long as he had it, this creature couldn't get any stronger. Chaos 6 took a huge jump into the air. It look as if he were going to body slam Drago. Drago quickly leapt out of the way, firing off a stream of fire from one hand and a bolt of lightning from the other. The more power Drago put into them, the more they did seem to visibly affect Chaos' body. But the creature didn't stop. Or, at least, he didn't seem to be in pain. Chaos launched several tendrils from it's back. They all began stabbing at Drago, but he was able to just barely managed to duck and dodge out of the way. Once the tendrils stopped coming, the demon sense went off again. Another chi? This was Drago's lucky day. He spotted the ghostly looking flower floating around and divebombed at it, absorbing it easily and gaining a pair of thick horns on his head. His scales also changed from blue to more of a light brown. " **Haha! Oh yeah! Earth demon powers ready to go!** " Chaos launched more tendrils towards Drago. Drago reacted quickly and raised his hand, causing a wall of rock and dirt to burst from the ground infront of him, stopping the tendrils from hitting him. The then leaped up over the wall and fired down and explosive fireball from his mouth, blasting a hole in Chaos 6's back, leaving his brain exposed. Then Drago fell back down, fist first right into the brain, causing Chaos 6 's body to suddenly collapse once again.

" **What now, freak? No more emeralds for you to absorb now...** " Drago taunted, smirking happily to himself. Chaos 6 reformed no to far behind Drago and charged it's tail with chaos energy. Drago turned just in time to see the tail swing round and hit him square in the chest and sending him flying backwards. Drago landed with a thud right next to the Chi-O-Matic. The angry snarl on his face quickly faded when he noticed the device. " **Heh...HAHA! No way! No wonder all this demon chi was around!** " He grabbed the device and shattered it over his knee, releasing the four remaining demon chi and absorbing them all. Wind, Sky, Mountain and Moon. He began changing radically. His arms now had thick muscles and two huge wings sprouted around his back. He also almost tripled in size. He had become Ultra-Drago. " **Haha! I can't believe my luck! I have all of the demon chi! Time to make this pitiful excuse of a world all mine!** " Chaos just continued glaring at Ultra-Drago. " **I think I'll start by eating this with my mountain demon chi to increase my power further.** " He gloated. showing off the chaos emerald he stole to Chaos 6.

Chaos didn't seem too happy and tried to use his inhale ability to suck up the chaos emerald. But Ultra-Drago held steady, not affected by the wind in the slightest. " **Sorry, Buddy. That's not gonna work on me. Not anymore!** " Ultra-Drago laughed as he lifted the chaos emerald to his mouth. Suddenly, Chaos transformed into his puddle form and launched himself at Ultra-Drago, tackling the massive demon off of the edge of Angel island. The two of them fell right down before slamming into the ocean below. All was quiet for a moment, before Ultra-Drago burst out of the water, flying up. " **Gah! I lost my power gem! Stupid liquid monster thing... Whatever. Time to turn this world inside out!** " Drago called out, tearing open a portal to the demon underworld in the sky. Suddenly, a low rumbling sound began to come from the ocean. He looked away from his new portal for a moment to see the creature return. And this time it was MUCH bigger. Easily at least 3 times bigger than Ultra-Drago. It let out a loud roar, and the seven chaos emeralds, now drained of their energy, came flying out and landed back on angel island. " **Not done yet, huh? Alright then. Let's finish this.** "

 **Perfect Chaos vs Ultra Drago**

Perfect Chaos charged up a large beam of Chaos Energy and launched it at Ultra-Drago. Ultra-Drago launched back a fire laser in return. The two beams collided and struggled for a moment. But Perfect Chaos's beam quickly began to win. Seeing this, Ultra-Drago bailed on the attack, dodging to the side. " **Damn... Ok, you're stronger than I thought. Gonna need some more power.** " Ultra-Drago used his wings to fly back up to angel island in no time at all, grabbing as many trees as he could and shoved them into his mouth, growing bigger and stronger with every bite. Perfect Chaos, seeing this, fired off a rain of chaos energy blasts. The first connected with Ultra-Drago's back, causing him to yell out in pain. But this helped bring the incoming rain to his attention. He quickly took off again, flying through the sky down towards Perfect Chaos as fast as he could, effortlessly dodging the chaos energy blasts. He tried to get in close so he could attack the brain, but as soon as he did, Perfect Chaos whipped one of his tentacles at him, knocking Ultra-Drago back. Stunned for a moment, Ultra-Drago looked up at the volley of energy heading for him and took a deep breath, then used his wind demon powers to blow them all right back into the sky and away from him.

Perfect Chaos began charging up another pure chaos energy beam, but in the time it took to charge, Ultra-Drago had already noticed. Perfect Chaos fired it, but Ultra-Drago flew to the side a little to avoid it. Getting annoyed, Perfect chaos let out a roar and suddenly, Ultra Drago was frozen in place. He had used the chaos bind attack! Ultra-drago felt the cold and began charging his entire body with his natural fire demon chi. Perfect Chaos took aim at the stationary target and began charging up his final chaos energy beam and then fired! But as the beam closed in, Ultra-Drago somehow broke free of the chaos bind and flew out of the way easily. He dashed down toward Perfect Chaos, taking care to avoid the tentacles this time, charge up a fire laser and blasted it at the spike on the top of Perfect Chaos' head that contained the brain. As the beam died down, the spike containing Perfect Chaos's brain, and the brain itself... were completely gone. Without the brain to keep him together, Perfect Chaos's body turned back into water and broke apart, returning to the ocean. Drago flew up to his portal to the Demon underworld and began laughing maniacally. He had won! The world was his!

 ***Close doors***

 **K.O.**

Knuckles runs around the shrine, picking up the chaos emeralds that Chaos dropped, while surrounded by crying Chao and the knocked out Ice Crew. Meanwhile, Ultra Drago laughs maniacally above angel island when suddenly the demon underworld portal he made starts sucking him in and seals up afterwards. Uncle Chan used his good chi magic to banish Drago while he was busy gloating.

 **Boomstick: ...Awesome!**

Wiz: Needless to say, right from the start, this fight was incredibly close. In their base forms, the two of them were about equal in strength, But Drago had a very significant speed adventage. And with each chaos emerald gained, not much changes for chaos in terms of strength and speed. Yes, he does get stronger with each form, but Drago would still be capable of keeping up with all of them, even in his base form.

 **Boomstick: Except for Perfect Chaos.**

Wiz: It's True. Perfect Chaos' x1000 increase was more than enough to eclipse Drago entirly in terms of power and destructive capacity. Even a single Chaos energy beam would have been enough to take down even Ultra Drago.

 **Boomstick: But Wiz... If that's the case, Why did Drago win?**

Wiz: Ultimately, the deciding factor was speed. Perfect Chaos is incredibly slow to both move and fire his attacks. There is no doubt Drago is fast enough to easily avoid any attacks that could have killed him. On top of this, Drago, while not as powerful or durable as Chaos, was still powerful enough to break through Chaos' defences and destroy his brain.

 **Boomstick: What about the Chaos Bind? Couldn't that hold Drago still long enough to kill him?**

Wiz: Drago, even in base form, is imbued with fire demon chi. He has pyrokinesis and is capable of creating fire from his mouth, eyes and his hands. No doubt he could even do this with his entire body. Now think back to how the chaos bind works. It freezes the air around the target to keep them in place. With his fire demon chi, there was no way an ice based attack would hold him still.

 **Boomstick: And what about Chaos' defences? Only super Sonic can break through!**

Wiz: False. Once Sonic learnt the boost technique, that was adequate enough. And Drago's superspeed could easily match Sonic's boost speed in sonic generations.

 **Boomstick: Shit... Well, It looks like it's time to -WAVE- goodbye to Chaos. Get it? Like ocean waves? An' water..?**

Wiz: Ehh... that was a stretch.

 **Boomstick: I knew I should have saved that running water pun...**

Wiz: The winner is, Drago.

 ***Close doors***

 **Boomstick: Next time on death battle!**

?: Jack in! ! Execute!

?: BUG BLASTER!

 **OOC notes:**

 **Hmm. I was honestly hoping this would be a little more popular. But no matter! As long as you guys are enjoying it I have nothing to worry about! ^.^**

 **Also, I stopped adding in music cues, because looking up music is surprisingly hard for obscure characters like Drago, Princess Morbucks and other upcoming characters.**

 **So yeah, same offer. First person to guess the next time wins a big round internet cookie~**

 **Also, PLEASE review. I love the feedback, positive or negative. As long as you're not just hating for the sake of hating.**


	3. Episode 3: MegamanEXE VS Keramon

**Quick OOC note: Due to how this site formats the uploaded chapters, Megaman . EXE's name will contain two unnecessary spaces. If I don't put these spaces in, it will delete his name altogether. So yeah. Thanks!**

 **[Doors open]**

 **Boomstick: Ahh, the internet. It truly is a wonderful place. You can buy stuff, watch our totally awesome show, or best of all, look up porn!**

Wiz: Uhh... ok... But the internet can also be very dangerous. At least, dangerous to electronics. Viruses are everywhere, and today we have two of the strongest around.

 **Boomstick: Megaman . EXE, the living anti-virus.**

Wiz: And Keramon, the virus corrupted Digimon.

 **Boomstick: He's Wiz, And I'm Boomstick...**

Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!

[doors close]

Wiz: The year is 200X...

 **Boomstick: Ooh! Ooh! I know this backstory, Wiz! Let me handle this! Ahem! The year is 200X and the world of robotics has flourished, thanks to the work of Dr Light and Dr Wily.**

Wiz: No, Boomstick. That's...

 **Boomstick: Shut up, Wiz! It's my time to shine! However, when Dr wily decided to turn to a life of crime, Dr Light reprogrammed his lab assistant Rock into the super fighting robot, Megaman!**

Wiz: Boomstick! That's the wrong Megaman! We're talking about Megaman . EXE

 **Boomstick:...from the shitty creepypasta..?**

Wiz: Ugh... The year is 200X and unlike in the Megaman classic timeline, the world focused more on the development of Software, rather than hardware. In this world, rather than everyone having a robot of their own, they can instead purchase a PET, or personal terminal which comes with it's own AI known as a netnavi. One of these AI was... Megaman . EXE

 **NAME: MEGAMAN . EXE**

 **REAL NAME: HUB HIKARI**

 **AGE: 10-12 YEARS OLD DURING THE SERIES (30-32 IN THE FUTURE)**

 **SPECIES: NETNAVI**

 **HAS A SON IN THE FUTURE CALLED MEGAMAN JUNIOR**

 **SCARED OF GHOSTS**

 **Boomstick: Ugh. Do we REALLY have to bring in creepypasta characters into our show?**

Wiz: He's not a creepypasta character! He's from the Megaman battle network game series. As I mentioned, he's a netnavi. A sentient computer program that acts as a personal assistant to the owner of the PET. And he's actually a rather unique netnavi. You see, his creator, Dr Yuichiro Hikari was going to a proud father of twins. But things didn't quite go as planned and one of the children, Hub Hikari, died at birth. But despite being overcome with grief, the doctor wasn't willing to give in to fate. Using his extensive knowledge of PET and software creation, he somehow pulled off a miracle and brought his deceased son back as a netnavi, now named Megaman . EXE

 **Boomstick: Wow... the writer of this creepypasta really put a lot of thought into the story, didn't he?**

Wiz: It's not a..! oh, whatever... As a netnavi, Megaman . EXE also needs to protect himself while connected to the internet or other networks, so he has access to a wide variety of antivirus software that take the form of weapons and powers!

 **1000 HP MAXIMUM**

 **MEGABUSTER**

 **RAPID FIRE**

 **CHARGE SHOT**

 **TRANS ARM**

 **CROSS SYSTEM**

 **BEAST OUT**

 **Boomstick: Oooh! Now we're talking! Gimmie those notes! ...Let's see... Megaman . EXE has a Megabuster, just like his classic counterpart. This arm cannon, when fully upgraded, packs quite a punch!**

Wiz: That's right! It can also upgrade it's speed to be capable of firing up to 5 blasts per second without limiting it's strength. Not only that, but it can be charged up in levels. The first "Green" level increases the power of the blast by 8 times. And the second "Magenta" level gives a 16 times boost!

 **Boomstick: Sweeeet. Let's see what else he's got. Huh? Style change? Why is this crossed out, Wiz?**

Wiz: Style change was an ability Megaman . EXE had that stemmed from the Chng . BAT file inside him. It allowed him to take on different elemental attributes to gain new abilities. However, this ability was lost when Megaman . EXE was deleted at the end of Battle Network 3. Meaning powers like Bug style and Hub style are actually inaccessible to Megaman . EXE now.

 **Boomstick: Aww, that's bullshit.**

Wiz: But it doesn't matter too much anyway. Even though Megaman. EXE lost his style change abilities, he gained some new replacements quickly. The Double Soul ability non-withstanding, as that requires outside help.

 **Boomstick: Screw the Double soul! He has something even better in his Cross System! This ability allows Megaman . EXE to take on a form similar to other NetNavi and gain abilities of theirs too. Each of these cross system forms has a specific element and powers up battle chips of the same element by varying levels.**

Wiz: His cross forms are; Heat Cross, Elec Cross, Slash Cross, Erase Cross, Charge Cross, Aqua Cross, Tomahawk Cross, Tengu Cross, Ground Cross, and Dust cross. Each has a special charge ability and a specific weakness. If a hit is taken while in a Cross System form from an attack that form is weak to, then the form will immediately vanish. On top of the Cross System, Megaman . EXE can utilize his beast out ability. This ability has Megaman . EXE take on the forms of the cybeasts, Falzar and Gregar.

 **Boomstick: In each of the Beast Out forms, Megaman . EXE gains a new special ability, and his Megabuster speeds up to an even faster rate. The Gregar beast form gives Megaman . EXE powerful claws to attack with, and the Falzar form makes him flyier!**

Wiz: This again..?

 **Boomstick: If I say it enough, it'll get added to the dictionary. I betcha!**

Wiz: I doubt it. The beast out forms are, unfortunately based on a time limit, and once they expire, Megaman . EXE will become tired. If he tried to beast out again while tired, he will instead Beast Over. In this state, Megaman . EXE becomes more powerful, but completely random and uncontrollable. And once it wears down again, he will be left totally exhausted, all his Buster stats will reset to base and his health will slowly begin to drain.

 **Boomstick: Well... that seems pretty dangerous.**

Wiz: Also, by sacrificing a battle chip, Megaman . EXE can activate his Trans Arm ability and change his Megabuster to an alternate weapon based off of other netnavi he's met.

 **Boomstick: We keep mentioning these Battlechips... what exactly are they..?**

 **BATTLE CHIPS**

 **CANNONS, SWORDS, GUNS AND BOMBS**

 **ELEMENTAL CHIPS**

 **MEGA AND GIGA CHIPS**

 **DARK CHIPS**

 **HEALTH RECOVERY AND SUPPORT**

Wiz: Battle chips are data storage devices that can be inserted into a PET in order to give the netnavi weapons, armour or just support in general. These can range widely from giving Megaman. EXE powerful swords and blasters to attack with, to simply recovering his health.

 **Boomstick: Sweet! There are battle chips for almost anything. Swords, shotguns, lasers, bombs, so much stuff! It's beautiful!**

Wiz: And those are just the standard battle chips! There are also certain chips that allow Megaman . EXE to attack with an elemental attack of some kind, such as a powerful blast of water, or growing thorny vines over the foe. He also has access to Mega chips. These can also be elementally charged and tend to be much more powerful that regular chips. Though he is only allowed to have a maximum of 5 equipped at a time.

 **Boomstick: And there are even stronger gigachips?! Fuckin'... YES!**

Wiz: That's right. Giga chips are even more powerful than megachips, but Megaman . EXE is limited to only being able to have one equipped at a time. Not only that, but many of the Giga chips involve the use of outside help, via summoning other Netnavi. So not all of them are ok to be used in Death battle.

 **Boomstick: So? He's only allowed one anyway so who cares? What other battle chips does he have? Anything stronger?!**

Wiz: Well... There are the dark chips. Dark chips are insanely powerful, but damage the Netnavi whenever one is used. If one is used, their maximum health is permanently lowered and the more the dark chips are used, the more evil the netnavi will become. Soon they become addicted to dark chips and will depend on them.

 **Boomstick: Then it turns into a plushie and starts killing people, right?**

Wiz: IT'S NOT A CREEPYPASTA!...Ahem. As such, Megaman . EXE hates using dark chips and will only use them as an absolute last resort.

 **Boomstick: He also has a load of less cool support chips that let him recover his health, build his stats, turn the floor holy. A load of weird shit that isn't nearly as badass.**

 **OPERATOR: LAN HIKARI**

 **AGE: SAME AS MEGAMAN . EXE**

 **CROSS FUSION** / **FULL SYNCHRO**

 **NAVI CUSTOMIZER**

 **OWNS A COPYBOT**

Wiz: Feeding Megaman . EXE his battle chips from the real world is his NetOP, Lan Hikari. Lan Hikari was Hub Hikari's twin brother at birth, effectively making him Megaman . EXE's brother. Y'know, despite one of them being physical and the other being digital.

 **Boomstick: So this is the kid who played the cursed Megaman game, right?**

Wiz: I'm ignoring all future creepypasta jokes now.

 **Boomstick: Hmph. You're no fun.**

Wiz: Despite still being young, Lan is deceptively smart. He's the one who sends Megaman . EXE his battle chips and comes up with the strategies while Megaman . EXE, if given his way, would rather just charge into a fight. Lan can also use an ability called Full Synchro to link his mind directly with Megaman . EXE, allowing them to act as one being. This effectively removes the delay between Lan giving an action and Megaman . EXE doing it. However, this means any damage Megaman . EXE takes, Lan will take too.

 **Boomstick: Lan also has a Navi Customizer. This program installed into his PET allows him to give Megaman . EXE even more abilities at the risk of causing possible glitches and bugs. The customizations can range from stat improvements, removing negative side effects or battle chips, or even creating reflector shields!**

Wiz: Lan also has a copybot. this robot was gifted to him upon graduation and used to belong to the late Iris . EXE. This robot is used to allow Megaman . EXE access to the real world, albeit, with none of his weapons and the strength of a regular adult man.

 **Boomstick: Soo... It's useless?**

Wiz: In a fight? Yeah, pretty much. That said, Lan has another way of getting Megaman . EXE into the real world. It's called... Cross Fusion.

 **Boomstick: And it's basically the same as the fusion dance.**

Wiz: Uhh, no. It's nothing like the fusion dance. By inserting a Synchro chip into his PET, Lan will fuse with Megaman . EXE. This allows Megaman . EXE to exist in the physical world with all of his powers still intact. Also, due to the fact he is now fused with Lan, the two of them are always in perfect sync.

 **Boomstick: That said, it still has its limits. Cross fusion has to take place within a dimensional area. An energy field that can be raised through the use of a Dimensional Generator. On top of this, Lan... well... He doesn't have a generator. He has to get in contact with his father if he needs one.**

 **FEATS**

 **TOOK DOWN THE WWW ORGANIZATION 4 TIMES**

 **TOOK DOWN TWO GODS OF THE INTERNET**

 **ENTERED A TOURNAMENT OF THE BEST NETNAVI IN THE WORLD AND WON**

 **FOUGHT AN INCARNATION OF HUMANITY'S EVIL AND WON**

 **IN THE ANIME, DEALT WITH SEVERAL WORLD DESTROYING ENEMIES AND ARMIES.**

Wiz: Megaman . EXE is powerful. While in cyberspace, he's power is almost limitless. He has taken on numerous viruses and villains with ease. He's taken on the criminal organization WWW 4 times and taken them down. He's dealt with multiple foes with enough power to destroy the world. And he even took down two GODS OF THE INTERNET.

 **Boomstick: ...He killed us..? When was that?**

Wiz: No, Boomstick, not us.

 **Boomstick: Pff. WE'RE the true gods of the internet. WORSHIP US OR WE WILL KILL YOUR FAVOURITE CHILDHOOD CHARACTER... possibly again...**

Wiz: ...Uhh, he also once entered a world tournament of the best NetNavi fighters in the world and managed to use his incredible power to win battle after battle with ease until he won the whole thing.

 **Boomstick: He also took down a sort of embodiment of all the evil of humanity. And... well... humans can be pretty evil.**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **DISLIKES AND AVOIDS USING DARK CHIPS**

 **RELIES HEAVILY ON LAN'S SUPPORT AND CONTROL**

 **LIMITED ACCESS TO THE PHYSICAL WORLD**

 **CROSS SYSTEMS DISAPPEAR AFTER A SUPER EFFECTIVE HIT**

Wiz: Megaman . EXE is indeed incredibly powerful, but he still has his flaws. As mentioned before, Megaman . EXE has a big dislike for using Dark Chips. Even when using a custom ability to avoid the negative effects, he dislikes their concept in general. His cross systems also have a fatal flaw of vanishing the moment they are hit with a type of attack they are weak too.

 **Boomstick: He also as a very heavy reliance on the help of others. Such as how many of his battle chips involve summoning other Netnavi to help, and his double soul system outright calls on them to help. Even Lan is the main strategist of the two of them and Megaman has to rely on him.**

Wiz: And finally, outside of using his copybot and the cross fusion ability, Megaman . EXE has very limited access to the real world.

 **Boomstick: Unless...**

Wiz: If you mention plushies, I will lobotomise you again...

 **Boomstick: Uhh... B-But who needs the real world! He can already kick so much ass online anyway!**

Wiz: Megaman . EXE is the ultimate virus destroyer and he doesn't seem to be stopping any time soon.

MegaMan . EXE: I heard that Cyber Academy is haunted!

Lan: O Rly?

MegaMan . EXE: Ya Rly! You can hear them go "Woooooooo" at night...

[Doors close]

Wiz: The internet can be dangerous for computers. Viruses exist everywhere and there are many kinds of them around too.

 **Boomstick: But they're not just dangerous for computers. Imagine if you were a being made entirely out of data. Then you'd be in real trouble.**

Wiz: Yep! And this was the case for a digiegg that somehow wound up on the Internet. Digieggs are the eggs that Digimon are born out of.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, Wiz. We're not ALL idiots. We could figure that out ourself.**

Wiz: The point is, a digiegg somehow ended up on the internet and was quickly attacked by various internet viruses. Whatever poor Digimon was going to hatch from the egg was gone now, and replaced with an odd little Jellyfish thing called, Kuramon. After hatching, and about 10 straight minutes of eating data from the internet, Kuramon digivolved up to his Rookie form… Keramon.

 **NAME: KERAMON**

 **AGE: LESS THAN A DAY OLD (4 YEARS OLD IN REVENGE OF DIABOROMON)**

 **LEVEL: ROOKIE DIGIMON**

 **TAMER: WILLIS... KIND OF..?**

 **MADE OF VARIOUS INTERNET VIRUSES**

Wiz: Keramon is an unidentified type Digimon. Even his attribute is unidentified.

 **Boomstick: Unidentified? How so? Hell, it should be fairly obvious that he's a virus type Digimon considering he's literally MADE of internet viruses.**

Wiz: It's not that simple. Keramon and his digivolutions are entirely unique Digimon. A hybrid of digital world life and viruses of the real world. In a way, he's like an alien Digimon.

 **Boomstick: Weird. Anyway, Keramon's origin is a little weird too, since the east and west both gave him a different backstory.**

Wiz: That's right. In the western world, Keramon was introduced in the Digimon Movie and was created by a digidestined by the name of Willis. But in the Japanese version, Keramon was born directly of viruses and had nothing to do with Willis. And by death battle rules, no mistranslations or western retcons allowed.

 **Boomstick: Anyway, regardless of how he came to life, Keramon began wreaking havoc on the internet, eating any data he came across with little care of what it was he was eating. the damage he was causing quickly gained the attention of the Digidestined and pretty soon, Agumon and Tentomon were after him. But Keramon had a few tricks up his sleeve!**

 **BUG BLASTER (CRAZY GIGGLE)**

 **NETWORK FLAPPING (FOOL OUT)**

 **CRAZY SMOKE**

 **CRAZY TURN**

 **CAN EAT MORE THAN 100MB OF DATA PER SECOND**

Wiz: Keramon is unique in that he's the only Digimon capable of eating raw data at such extreme speeds. He's capable of eating more than 100 Megabytes of data in a second. Any data he eats not only sustains him and increases his power, but also completely vanishes the moment it enters his mouth. Though he's not capable of eating living data, such as Agumon or Tentomon.

 **Boomstick: Enough about his eating habits, Wiz. They wanna know about his attacks and shit! Keramon's main attack is a virus filled energy bullet called the Bug blaster. He can fire them in rapid succession too. Though he's not so good at long distance aiming. He also has his Network Flapping attack. Keramon lets out a loud unbearable screech that can stun and damage a foe by assaulting their ears. Like Wiz on Karaoke night.**

Wiz: You already made that joke in Kirby VS Buu.

 **Boomstick: That doesn't make it any less true, hah!**

Wiz: Oh, shut up! Keramon also has his crazy turn attack, where his arms extend out and he spins rapidly, lashing foes repeatedly. And his final attack is his crazy smoke. Keramon spews out a cloud of poisonous smoke into his enemies faces, temporarily clouding their vision and causing light damage overtime.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, he's one of the stronger rookie level Digimon around.**

 **CHAMPION FORM – CHRYSALIMON**

 **ULTIMATE FORM – INFERMON**

 **SPIDER SHOOTER (HELL'S GRENADE)**

 **NETWORK GRENADE (COCOON ATTACK)**

 **VIRUS SKATER**

 **TWICE THE SIZE OF GREYMON**

 **MEGA FORM – DIABOROMON (DIABLOMON IN JAPANESE)**

 **WEB WRECKER (CATASTROPHE CANNON)**

 **CABLE CRUSHER (TENTACLE BUG)**

 **PARADISE LOST**

 **CAN CLONE HIMSELF INDEFINITELY**

 **CAN CREATE KURAMON AND SEND THEM TO THE REAL WORLD**

Wiz: But that's not all. Remember what I said about how much data he eats? He is capable of eating so much data that he is able to use it and digivolve and reach much higher levels of power, even without the help of a digidestined tamer. Firstly, his champion form is Chrysalimon. An immobile cocoon like Digimon. Though he can skip over this form while in a battle, skipping it will result in his Ultimate level being slightly weaker than usual.

 **Boomstick: His ultimate form is Infermon. He's kinda like a spider, but with only six legs. Oh, and he's, like, DOUBLE the size of Greymon. And remember, Greymon is about two stories tall.**

Wiz: He also has a little gun hidden in his mouth for his spider shooter attack. Which is a volley of highly condensed virus energy that is capable of effortlessly defeating Megakabuterimon and Metalgreymon.

 **Boomstick: Even Metalgreymon's chrome digizoid armor didn't stop them from smacking him right back down to Agumon. He also has Network Grenade, in which his throws himself at his opponent while retracting his limbs into his body. While using this attack, Greymon and Kabuterimon's attacks were entirely useless and simply bounced off of him. And finally, he has the Virus Skater, which lets him zoom around like his on roller blades to build speed up.**

Wiz: And next up is his Mega form. Diaboromon. Once a Keramon reaches this form, it convinces itself that it's all knowing and all powerful. With that mindset, Diaboromon begins to take pleasure in causing havoc, destruction and death. It's single goal then becomes to hack into any military systems it finds and use them to destroy the real world.

 **Boomstick: Shit. It's like that whole Y2K rumour in Digimon form! Diaboromon, just like his previous forms, is powerful. He has his cable crusher attack. His launches his claw out on his stretchy arm to attack or grab foes.**

Wiz: And there is his Web Wrecker. An extremely powerful virus blast from his chest mounted cannon. His final attack is his Paradise Lost. A suicide attack in which he detonates himself with all of the energy in his body to cause a powerful explosion, powerful enough to wipe out pretty much anyone near him. But even though that's his final attack, Diaboromon has one more key ability. Cloning.

 **Boomstick: Diaboromon can clone himself in two ways. The badass way, and the boring way. The badass way is when he completely clones himself, creating an exact duplicate of himself equal in power to the original. Then the duplicate can clone too. Then they can clone... aaand so on.**

Wiz: In only a couple of minutes, Diaboromon was able to create around 16,000 clones of himself. But even though 16,000 fully powered Diaboromon sounds like the peak of his power, the other method of cloning is even stronger.

 **Boomstick: WHAT?! Nuh-uh. No way. The other cloning method is just creating a swarm of Kuramon, his baby form, and sending them off into the real world. How is that stronger than multiple Diaboromon?**

Wiz: Well, about that. When an extremely large group of Kuramon come together, they fuse into one being, far stronger than Diaboromon, called Armageddemon.

 **SUPER ULTIMATE FORM – ARMAGEDDEMON**

 **FULL SCALE ATTACK (BLACK RAIN)**

 **DESTINY DESTROYER (ULTIMATE FLARE)**

 **EXISTS IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD**

 **Boomstick: Armageddemon? Now THAT'S a badass sounding name! That's the name of a world ender right there. Literally!**

Wiz: Armageddemon is massive. Many MANY times bigger than Omnimon, the combination of Wargreymon and Metalgarurumon. And, with a massive form comes massive power. His full scale attack launches hundreds of massive energy blasts from his back to rain down upon his enemy and the battlefield at random, and his destiny destroyer fires a gigantic beam of pure destruction from his mouth.

 **Boomstick: Holy shit! Ok, I was wrong. This form of cloning is CLEARLY the best!**

 **FEATS**

 **AS KERAMON, EFFORTLESSLY TANKED GREYMON'S NOVA BLAST**

 **AS INFERMON, ONE SHOT METALGREYMON AND MEGAKABUTERIMON**

 **AS DIABOROMON**

 **TANKED ATTACKS FROM WARGREMON AND METALGARURUMON.**

 **DESTROYED THE DRAYMON DESTROYERS**

 **SURVIVED BEING IMPALED THROUGH THE HEAD**

 **AS ARMAGEDDEMON, TANKED ATTACKS FROM AND DEFEATED OMNIMON AND IMPERIALDRAMON (FIGHTER MODE) WITH EASE**

 **REACHED MEGA LEVEL ON THE SAME DAY HE HATCHED**

Wiz: Keramon and his digivolutions are often considered some of the strongest Digimon around and for good reason. Keramon was able to tank hits from Champion level Digimon with relative ease, when most other Rookie Digimon would have been blasted away.

 **Boomstick: And that's just his base form!**

Wiz: He's also the ONLY Digimon in all of the Digimon adventure canon to go from his digiegg to his mega form IN LESS THAN A DAY! All without help from a tamer!

 **Boomstick: Infermon was able of tanking champion level hits with no damage and even one shot two ultimate level Digimon, including Metalgreymon, who I'd like to remind you has that super tough chrome digizoid shit all over him!**

Wiz: As Diaboromon, he was able to fight Wargreymon and Metalgarurumon, two other mega level Digimon, and only had a little trouble doing so. And we can't forget that his Cable Crusher attack has enough force behind it to destroy Wargreymon's Dramon Destroyers, gauntlets made of chrome digizoid. He also survived being impaled through the head!

 **Boomstick: GAH! HOLY SHIT! I thought this anime was for kids!**

Wiz: Yeah... it's pretty gruesome, even if it doesn't have gore or anything. But surviving that is nothing compared to what he survived as Armageddemon. He effortlessly took attacks from Omnimon and Imperialdramon fighter mode with little effort, seeming totally unphased to boot. And then went on to defeat both of them with ease.

 **Boomstick: Can anything stop him?!**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **HIS PROCESSING SPEED CAN BE SLOWED BY EXCESS DATA**

 **A FULL CYCLE OF CLONING TAKES A FULL THREE SECONDS**

 **WEAK TO HOLY ATTACKS**

 **CHILDISH AND INSANE**

Wiz: Well... yes. In all of his forms, Keramon has a weakness to holy based attacks. They do far more damage than any other attack would do to him. He's also... well...

 **Boomstick: Completely insane!**

Wiz: Well, yeah. He is. He's still just a child after all. Even with his lust for destruction and death, he sees everything as just one big game for him to win. As Keramon, everything he does begins with and is followed by crazed laughter.

 **Boomstick: He also has some speed troubles. Not in terms of movement speed, but in terms of cloning speed. Creating a full clone of Diaboromon takes a full three seconds. And he can't move at all while doing so, or the clone will fade away, leaving him wide open.**

Wiz: Also, his processing speed can be exploited by sending him too much inedible data, effectively freezing him in place.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, so just get your spam folder and forward all of it to him and he'll never be able to move again!**

Wiz: Well, maybe not NEVER. But yeah...

 **Boomstick: Even so, He's a freakin' beast! And a destructive one at that!**

Wiz: But is he enough of a beast to take on the ultimate antivirus..?

*Phone rings and Tai answers it*

Tai: Hello, this is Tai!

Infermon: Hello... Did you program me..? Heh heh hahahahaha!

[Doors Close]

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all!

 **Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLLLLLE!**

Lan sat at home, with Megaman . EXE right beside him in his copybot. The two of them were playing a video game against each other. And quite heatedly it seemed. The two of them both thoroughly invested in beating the other. Suddenly, both of them had their concentration shattered by Lan's PET buzzing.

"Hey Lan, You've got an E-mail." Megaman . EXE said. Lan rolled his eyes and paused the game, picking up his PET.

"Alright, Hub. Jack out and let me check this. It could be important." Megaman . EXE gave a groan and jacked out. The copybot reverted back to it's regular motionless form and Megaman returned to the PET.

"It's from Mayl. I'm opening it now." Megaman . EXE spoke, opening the mail up on the screen for Lan. The email read: Lan! You need to Get Megaman online quick! This new virus has showed up and started eating everything!

"Huh. It's a good thing I read it... Let's get you online, Megaman." Lan took his PET and approached his computer. "Jack in! Megaman . EXE, transmit!" And just like that, Megaman . EXE entered the internet.

Megaman . EXE formed on Lan's homepage and ran ahead toward wherever this new virus was. It didn't take long to find the culprit. It stuck out like a sore thumb among all of the viruses Megaman had encountered in the past. It had it's back to Megaman . EXE and was busy ripping out bits of the floor and eating them, all while giggling uncontrollably. Megaman smirked. This would be easy. He raised his Megabuster and took aim for the back of Keramon's head.

 **FIGHT**

"Hey! Ugly!" Megaman called out. Keramon turned around to face Megaman . EXE with a huge creepy smile. The moment he turned, Megaman began firing blasts from his Megabuster at Keramon, getting a couple of direct hits to the face. Keramon was blasted backwards, landing on it's back. "Haha! This thing doesn't stand a chance." Megaman . EXE cheered. Then, Keramon began floating upward slightly, giggling happily. He almost seemed to be enjoying this.

"Hmm. Looks like he's hanging in there. Keep him busy, Megaman. I'll send you a couple of battle chips." Lan said. Megaman gave a nod and began rapid firing upon Keramon again. But this time Keramon knew what was coming. Keramon suddenly flew upwards into the air, dodging out of the way of incoming shots.

"BUG BLASTER!" Keramon suddenly shouted out, launching a red orb of energy down at Megaman . EXE. He didn't expect the sudden attack and raised his non-blaster arm to brace for the attack. It hit, causing a small explosion of smoke. But the attack wasn't that powerful. Megaman was fine. Keramon floated back down towards Megaman . EXE as the smoke cleared, charging up another bug blaster as he closed in. The orb fired and Megaman quickly sidestepped out of the way.

"Ok! Battle chips ready, Megaman! I'm sending you a couple now!" Lan said. Megaman . EXE quickly checked which battle chips he'd been sent. Two shotgun chips and a cannon chip. He could work with this.

Meanwhile, Keramon took a deep breath in. "Network Flapping!" Keramon called out. Megaman took aim with his Shotgun and went to fire, when Keramon suddenly let out an incredibly loud and painful screech. The shock of the noise caused Megaman's aim to be thrown wildly off as he fired. He missed Keramon entirely. Keramon took his chance and dashed in. "Crazy turn! HAHAHAHA!" Keramon yelled out, as he closed in. Megaman . EXE regained his senses just in time for Keramon to dash in close and begin spinning like a drill, repeatedly striking Megaman . EXE with his arms. On the last hit, Megaman was sent flying back a little, but managed to land on his feet, raise his Megabuster, and activate his second shotgun chip, blasting Keramon in the face. Keramon was stunned for a moment and Megaman ran in closer, activated his cannon chip and blasted Keramon in the face, knocking the Digimon to the ground.

"Ha! Virus down!" Claimed Megaman. But he was wrong. He began walking away when he heard the Virus speak again.

"Keramon digivolve to..." there was a bright flash of white light and in an instant, the small purple virus has grown a hell of a lot bigger. He was now a large White and Red spider like creature. "...Infermon!"

Megaman . EXE turned back around to face the virus, which now towered above him. "Woah... Ok, He's not down yet. Still. No problem, right Lan?"

"Right! Let's take him out, Hub!" Lan replied, sending in more battle chip data. This time, Megaman got Wide sword, M-cannon and Guard3. Megaman charged in, activating the sword chip and slashing at Infermon. Infermon retaliated with a powerful kick, launching Megaman into the air.

"Spider shooter!" Infermon called out. His mouth opened up and a gun protruded out, taking aim at Megaman and firing of a volley of energy blasts. Megaman . EXE began running, barely dodging out of the way of the blasts. As he ran, he activated his M-cannon chip and took aim at Infermon's huge body, firing. But the blast merely bounced off of Infermon's tough exterior.

"What?!" Megaman called out.

"Seems his body is pretty tough. Just stay on your toes and keep him busy. I'll send you some breaking chips to help get through his defences." Lan replied. Megaman gave a nod and began charging his Megabuster. Maybe he could still get some damage in while he waited for the chips. Infermon fired another round of spider shooter blasts at Megaman . EXE, but he simply used his Guard3 chip to rebound the shots back at the Digimon, taking him by surprise.

"Virus Skater!" Shouted Infermon, and he suddenly began whizzing around without moving any of his legs an inch. Megaman wasn't phased though and kept his eyes locked on Infermon and she dashed around. Finally, his Megabuster reached green level charge and he fired. The blast was enough to knock Infermon off balance a little. Megaman smirk and continued firing. even if they didn't seem to be affecting Infermon, damage must have been done. Even if it was just a little. Infermon let out a growl and suddenly leapt upward onto a wall. He stayed there for a moment before leaping off again, towards Megaman . EXE. "Network Grenade!" He retracted his legs back inside of his body and charged at Megaman.

"Battle chips ready!" called out Lan. He'd sent Megaman . EXE a DrilArm3 chip and also sacrificed a cursor-type chip to activate the Trans Arm system and give Megaman Searchman . EXE's scope gun.

"Here goes nothing!" Megaman said and activated the DrilArm3 chip. Once Infermon was directly in front of Megaman . EXE, he swung the drill and it ground against Infermon, holding him still and eventually knocking the huge virus backwards. "Yeah! Now to finish this!" Megaman shouted and aimed the scope gun at Infermon, charging right up to Magenta and delivering a powerful volley of lock-on shots right to Infermon's face. Infermon screeched out in pain and collapsed to the ground. "Heh! Think he's done this time, Lan?"

"I doubt it. Keep up your guard, Hub." Lan replied, getting more Battle Chips ready.

Infermon was silent for a moment before finally moving slightly and muttering: "Infermon digivolve to..." There was another bright flash of light and Infermon was replace by yet another different looking creature. It stared right at Megaman with his huge eyes and finished his sentence. "...Diaboromon!"

"Geez. It just keeps getting bigger, Lan. What's the plan?" Megaman . EXE asked.

Before Lan could reply, Diaboromon leapt forward. "Cable crusher!" He yelled, launching one of his arms at Megaman and powerfully punching him back to the other side of the webpage. "Web Wrecker!" He followed up, launching a powerful blast from his chest at Megaman, who let out a yell of pain when it collided with him. Diaboromon took the chance to run off into another webpage while Megaman . EXE was getting up. Suddenly, he had new battle chips loaded. A recovery chip for 200 HP and some stat upgrades. He smirked and activated them all before Running after Diaboromon.

Meanwhile, Diaboromon had made his way to a military webpage. He closed his eyes and began focusing his energy and three seconds later, a second Diaboromon stood beside him. Diaboromon pointed at the military area around them and the clone gave a nod before leaping away. The moment it was gone, Diaboromon created a second clone, but this one was a Kuramon. He smiled gleefully and sent the Kuramon away. It was around then that Megaman . EXE arrived. "There you are! You're going down this time. No more running away!"

"Ok, Megaman. Time to use your cross system!" Lan said. Megaman nodded and activated his cross system. He transformed into his Heat Cross form.

"Alright! Let's burn this virus to the ground, Lan!" Diaboromon launched out his arms with another Cable Crusher attack. Megaman . EXE rolled out of the way and launched a stream of fire from his arm, damaging Diaboromon. Using his speed, Megaman dashed around Diaboromon in circles, launching fiery blasts at the Digimon. On top of that, Lan took advantage of the Heat Cross and sent Megaman some fire element battle chips that were now much more powerful thanks to the form. Diaboromon began to get annoyed and performed another Cable Crusher while spinning in place, Knocking Megaman away again and negating the Heat Cross form due to the amount of damage taken. Megaman . EXE activated another recovery battle chip. "Alright, Lan. This is getting annoying. How about I beast out?" Megaman suggested.

"Sounds good. Activating the Gregar Beast Out!" Lan replied. In a flash of light Megaman took on a very different form. Spikes and claws covered him. Beast Megaman . EXE wasted no time and raised his Megabuster, firing at a MUCH faster rate and he was very clearly doing damage to Diaboromon now. He then launched at Diaboromon and delivered a fast flurry of claw attacks from every angle. Finally, while Diaboromon was stunned, Megaman . EXE used his cross system to become Erase Cross and Beast Out at the same time, creating Erase Beast, then began charging his Megabuster. Diaboromon quickly regained his composure though and blasted Megaman . EXE with his web wrecker. But thanks to the super armor of his Gregar form, he tanked it with ease and finished charging. He let loose the charge shot, The Killer Death Beam. The blast tore right through Diaboromon with ease and the larger Digimon let out one last laugh before exploding into nothing but raw data. Diaboromon was dead.

"Heh... I did it..." Megaman . EXE muttered, as his beast form wore off, reverting him back to his base form, out of breath and kinda tired. "That was... tough." Suddenly, Lan's PET let out a beep. "H-hey, Lan. You've got an E-mail from an unknown sender. I'm opening it for you." Lan looked at his computer screen as the email opened it. It read: i'M seNdInG YoU a prEsenT. EnJoyyyYyyyYYy!

"What is this supposed to mean..?" Lan asked. He looked at who the email was from and... it had an image of Diaboromon. Megaman . EXE was just as shocked and quickly ran into the next room of the military computer system he and Diaboromon were fighting in. But he wasn't prepared for what he saw. there were AT LEAST 100 more Diaboromon swarming around the walls, and they were still multiplying too.

"What the heck?!" Megaman . EXE shouted in shock. He also noticed a timer on the wall that read: Missile Impact in ACDC town: 5 minutes and counting. "L-Lan! He's cloned himself! And he's fired a missile at you! We need to take him down quickly!"

"O-ok!" Lan said. "I'll send you some chips now!" But as the chips were loaded into Megaman . EXE, Megaman replied.

"That won't be enough. I need to Beast out again!"

"No way! That'll drain you!"

"We don't have any other choice! I need to." Megaman said. Lan didn't like it, but he had to agree. With this many powerful viruses all around, a Beast Over was the only thing to do. They activated it. In a moment, Megaman . EXE flashed brightly and had transformed once again into his Beast Form, though this time it was Falzar, instead of Gregar. Megaman . EXE immediately flew upwards, firing his Megabuster randomly in every direction in a feral rage. Half of the Diaboromon began launching web wreckers at him while the other half began creating Kuramon clones and sending them away. Using his enhanced speed and flight, Megaman began swerving out of the way of Web Wreckers and began to activate his loaded battle chips randomly. First was Snctuary. As it was activated, the air all around him began to glow with holy light and the Diaboromon began to shy away from it. Almost as if they sensed what was coming next, all of them stopped attacking and began sending off even more Kuramon.

Finally, Megaman activated his final battle chip. HolyDrem. All of the holy light around him began draining away and into his Megabuster. And then he released, firing a massive blast of holy energy from his Megabuster. The blast engulfed a large section of the Diaboromon, incinerating them. He then quickly turned around, beam still going, and continued wiping out the Diaboromon. They tried to out run it, but Megaman was far faster. Soon, all but of of the Diaboromon remained. With the Digimon in his sights, Megaman . EXE flew right at him and fired on last charge shot right through Diaboromon's chest. The Digimon slowly looked down at the hole in his chest as Megaman . EXE reverted back to his base form, completely exhausted. The virus Digimon began laughing wildly and created one final Kuramon and sent it off, before he exploded into data. There were no more Diaboromon left.

"Hub! Are you ok?!" Lan asked concerned. His PET buzzed.

"Y-yeah... I'm fine... just jack me out. The virus is deleted and I really need a rest... Plus you have an e-mail."

Lan did just that. He jacked Megaman out of the internet and loaded him back into his copybot. "I do wonder though... What were those things that the viruses were creating." Lan opened his email and saw it was once again from Diaboromon. It showed an image of the jellyfish thing that it had created just before it was deleted. The jellyfish thing then suddenly moved, pushing forward and climbing out of the PET's screen! "Wh-what the heck?!" The creature quickly leapt out of Lan's bedroom window before he could react. Lan quickly checked the PC, while Megaman . EXE, in his copybot, looked out the window to see if he could spot the thing. "Uhh... Hub? Th-the missile countdown is still going..."

"That's not the only problem, Lan. Look!" Lan looked out the window to what Megaman was pointing at. There was an entire swam or Kuramon flooding ACDC town and gathering near the park. "You call for a Dimensional Area Generator and I'll go see if I can squish a few of them with this copybot. I'll meet you at the park, Lan." Megaman . EXE then quickly ran off.

Lan grabbed his phone and quickly called Mr. Famous. He needed him to get a dimensional area generator to them fast.

Megaman . EXE had just exited the house and was heading to the park when something odd began to happen. All of the Kuramon began to float into the air and press against each other. Lan came running out of the house and stood beside Megaman . EXE and watched silently as all the Kuramon formed together into a massive horrifying creature that was bigger than any building in ACDC town. And then the screeched out. "ARMAGEDDEMON!" Megaman . EXE and Lan had no idea what to do. And they didn't have much time to think about it. "FULL SCALE ATTACK!" Armageddemon screeched out, and hundreds of massive energy blasts launched out of his back and began raining down upon the town. Megaman and Lan ran back and forth avoiding the blasts.

Mr Famous drove down the road in his truck with the Generator in the back. He had to get to Lan and Megaman as fast as possible. But just as he came into view of the kids, one of Armageddemon's blasts suddenly came crashing down on the truck, causing it to explode right there and then, with Mr Famous and the generator along with it. Lan and Megaman . EXE watch the explosion in horror before turning back to Armageddemon slowly. The monstrosity slowly opened it's mouth and energy began charging up. "DESTINY DESTROYER!" And then he fired a huge beam at the two of them. The beam was larger than Lan's entire house. As the beam closed in, Megaman suddenly leapt in front of Lan in a last ditch attempt to save his brother and then the beam collided.

As the smoke cleared, Megaman . EXE was still barely standing. He very slowly turned his head. "L-lan... a-are you... ok..?" But when he turned around fully, nothing was left of Lan except a wrecked PET. Megaman . EXE was frozen in horror and sadness, then glitched out a little. He briefly turned back into a normal copybot. Then, with his PET destroyed, he finally reverted back to a broken copybot fully, before falling over, sparking.

 **K** **O**

 **[Doors close]**

Armageddemon lets out a roar and stamps on the sparking copybot, destroying what was left of it. Then the missile he launched as Diaboromon finally lands. ACDC town is completely engulfed in the explosion and when it fades away, All that remains is Armageddemon standing in the middle of the completely levelled town.

 **Boomstick: Uhh... we just killed all of ACDC town, didn't we?**

Wiz: Yup.

 **Boomstick: Shit... Sorry Megaman fans.**

Wiz: Megaman . EXE is extremely powerful and if the fight took place entirely in cyberspace, he may have even had a chance of winning, even against Armageddemon. But even then, his chance would be pretty slim. And for a few reasons. All of Megaman . EXE's greatest powers and feats generally stem from two things. Outside help, or style change. Both abilities that he can't use in a death battle, because outside help isn't allowed and style change is no longer accessible to him.

 **Boomstick: And once the fight entered the real world, Megaman . EXE had no real way to win. His copybot would be useless in combat and cross fusion would require too much time to pull off, as they'd need to wait for a Dimensional area generator to be delivered. And Armageddemon was more than powerful enough to end the fight before the generator would be able to get there.**

Wiz: And even if the dimensional area generator DID get delivered and Megaman . EXE and Lan were able to cross fuse, that doesn't mean they'd win. Sure, they'd have a better chance, but not by much. Megaman . EXE wouldn't be able to attack outside of the dimensional area, and Armageddemon is big enough he could simply exit the area and fire inside from the outside. Or he could simply destroy the generator, removing the dimensional area and reverting the cross fusion back to Lan and his PET.

 **Boomstick: But Keramon and his digivolutions are insane and childish. How would they figure out the generator was a weak spot?**

Wiz: Insane and childish is not the same thing as stupid. In fact, Keramon's digivolutions are actually incredibly smart. Infermon was smart enough to attack Greymon and Kabuterimon half way through their digivolution process, despite having only seen tamer induced digivolution once before. When he sees the Generator being delivered, there is no way he'd shrug it off as unimportant.

 **Boomstick: Well... Looks like Megaman really was an Executable file.**

Wiz: The winner is Keramon... or, uhh, Armageddemon.

[Doors close]

 **Boomstick: Next time on death battle..!**

?: "Well, get a load of you, cupcake! You know, I worked real hard on that ice cream cone! REAL hard! Don't know if you got any money in that skirt of yours. But one way or another… you're paying for it!"

?: "Prepare to be torqued, freak!"

OOC Notes time: Hope you enjoyed! These next two characters are gonna be REAL hard for you to figure out. But I know you guys can do it! I also figured out a reward. First person to guess correctly who the next fight is gets to know what fight I plan to do AFTER the next one! How's that sound?

Please review. I love reading them! ^^


	4. Episode 4: Violet VS Sweet Tooth

**Boomstick: Gun Fights... Sword Fights... Y'know, I often I have trouble deciding which is more bad ass. But then I remember that you can have both at the same time and cheer up!**

Wiz: But Boomstick, what if I were to say you could even improve on Sword-Gun fights even further.

 **Boomstick: *Gasp!* You can't possibly mean...**

Wiz: That's right, Vehicular combat! Fighting while driving a car.

 **Boomstick: Such a beautiful concept... who ever thought that up is my pal for life!**

Wiz: And today we have two of the most deadly drivers in all of fiction. Violet, the teen demon mascot of Cel Damage.

 **Boomstick: And Sweet Tooth, the serial killer mascot of Twisted Metal. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick**

Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE.

 _[Doors close]_

Wiz: In an alternate earth, where cartoons live alongside humans...

 **Boomstick: Like Roger Rabbit?**

Wiz: Yeah, kinda. But without the cartoon racism. Anyway, in this world, various toons have been hired to take place in the popular prime time show, Cel Damage. Due to a toon's high durability compared to ordinary humans, they can take part in this extremely dangerous Car Combat contest!

 **Boomstick: Yeah, Toons like the nerdy Flemming, the Hollywood star alligator T. Wrecks, or... a dominatrix? Really? Heh, I wonder what kind of cartoon SHE'S from, heh heh...**

Wiz: But the face of the show, featured in all of the advertising and promotion for he show is the cute teenage demon girl, Violet.

Cel damage producer: W-we're doing your interview, didn't you get the memo?

Violet: Flip off or die, chucklehead...

 **VIOLET**

 **AGE: 16**

 **SPECIES: ANIME DEMON-GIRL**

 **HOME: ASIA**

 **PREFERRED WEAPON TYPE: MILITARY**

 **THE FACE OF CEL DAMAGE**

 **Boomstick: Haha! I like this girl! She's got style!**

Wiz: Violet is a 16 year old demon who heralds from an Anime of some kind. Despite originating in Asia, she seems to have a regular American accent though. She's a violent bloodthirsty sociopath who enjoys nothing more than slaughtering other toons.

 **Boomstick: BADASS! I'm liking her more every second. So what's her backstory? What anime did she star in before Cel Damage began? Why is she so bloodthirsty?**

Wiz: Well... Uhh... there isn't a backstory.

 **Boomstick: What?! So that's all we've got on her?**

Wiz: Yeah. All we know is that she's a psycho who stars in Cel Damage.

 **Boomstick: Well... I guess we should just move onto her fighting stuff then, right?**

 **SKULL BOMBS**

 **CHAINSAW**

 **FIRE AXE**

 **100 TON WEIGHTS**

 **CAN SUMMON REPLACEMENT TANKS**

Wiz: Yep! Violet has above average strength. She is capable of beating down a regular human with absolute ease, and even somehow can set people on fire with just a regular punch. She's also a cartoon. As such, she has multiple weapons that she can pull from hammerspace at will. Her most common weapon is her Skull bombs. These are considered her weakest weapon. Throwing them at her foes deals no damages.

 **Boomstick: But, the explosion they deal is enough to push the cars of other Cel Damage combatants back a little. Not only that, but she can hurl these things rapid fire! Like seriously, she can spam these things for days.**

Wiz: Other weapons she keeps on her person are a chainsaw, which she can use to effortlessly slice through a cartoon sheep as if it were butter, and a fire axe that is just as strong.

 **Boomstick: You're missing the big picture, Wiz. Since she's a cartoon, she can summon huge 100 TON WEIGHTS ON A WHIM TO CRUSH PEOPLE!**

Wiz: And that's all just stuff she can do outside of her vehicle.

 **VEHICLE**

 **MAKE: TANK**

 **STATS (COMPARED TO OTHER CEL DAMAGE VEHICLES):**

 **SPEED: 11/20**

 **ACCELERATION: 11/20**

 **HANDLING: 19/20**

 **OFFROAD: 15/20**

 **HEALTH: 5/20**

 **SPECIAL WEAPONS:**

 **MORTAR: LONG RANGE EXPLOSIVE, 6 ROUNDS**

 **Boomstick: Ooooh baby! Now we're getting to the good stuff! Violet drives the most destructive vehicle possible. A fuckin' tank!**

Wiz: Yes, Violet's vehicle is easily the biggest of all the cars that the Cel Damage combatants use. And, as shown in the "Tonight 8" video, It's capable of simply running into the other cars and blowing them up. We can assume this can only be done when the cars are low on health though.

 **Boomstick: The stats for violet's tank don't seem all that impressive though. Her speed and acceleration stats are just barely higher than average, and despite being a tank, she has one of the lowest health bars in the game. But she makes up for this with excellent offroad driving and absolutely amazing turning!**

Wiz: Being a cartoon, Violet's tank doesn't adhere to the regular laws of physics and motion. Despite being a large tank made of metal, it can bend and curve as if it were made of rubber. This allows her amazing manoeuvrability and means she can dodge almost anything if she sees it comings. Her Tank can also jump boost. This manoeuvre sees Violet's tank suddenly leaps forward while somersaulting at a ludicrous speed, allowing her to dodge hazards and speed up her driving at the same time.

 **Boomstick: And to round it off, she has her signature weapon. The mortar! This gun fires an explosive rounds high into the sky that fall back down a couple feet away. this gun can be hard to aim for some, But violet is a master with it. Though it only has 6 rounds readily available.**

Wiz: But that's not a problem. The Mortar may be her signature weapon, but it's far from her only weapon.

 **WEAPONS:**

 **MELEE WEAPONS - SCIMITAR - 10, AXE - 3, BASEBALL BAT - 7, BOXING GLOVES - 15, CHAINSAW - 6, SLEDGEHAMMER- 5**

 **GUNS - BROADSIDE CANNONS - 10, CHAINGUN - 100, FREEZE RAY - 5, HARPOON - 6, SHRINK RAY - 5, TOMMY GUN - 175, LASER - 129**

 **EXPLOSIVES - GRENADE - 10, CLUSTER BOMBS - 1, DYNAMITE CROSSBOW - 6, NUCLEAR MINE - 1, SEEKING MISSILE - 3**

 **OTHER PROJECTILES - JAVELIN - 5, CLEAVERS - 12, BUZZ SAW - 2, LIGHTING - 1**

 **CARTOON WEAPONS - WOOD CHIPPER - 12, VACUUM - 3, GUNSHIP - 20 SECONDS, TNT SHEEP - 1, CLOAK - 20 SECONDS, PORTABLE HOLE - 3, ROCKET BOOSTER - 15 SECONDS, SPRING - 5**

 **Boomstick: Oooooooh yeah! Now we're talkin'!**

Wiz: Unlike most tanks, Violet's doesn't have a gun on the front. Rather, it features a hood that houses almost any type of weapon imaginable.

 **Boomstick: Whether it's a chaingun, a crossbow that shoots dynamite, or even a robotic arm that swings around melee weapons like Swords and baseball bats!**

Wiz: Some of the more interesting weapons she has include her boxing gloves, two giant gloves that rapidly punch foes, dealing only light damage, but knocking enemies back greatly. There is also the harpoon. This gun fires harpoons that can easily pierce through other cars and hold them in place for a few seconds.

 **Boomstick: The buzz saw throws a large spinning razor at foes that can easily slice through cars and her nuclear mine is a powerful explosive with absolutely massive range.**

Wiz: Her real ace weapons, though, are her cartoon weapons. These are unique weapons that use the power of cartoon logic to fight foes. They can cause insanity, such as the Wood chipper and the vacuum, that can suck in much larger cars to tear them apart, or steal their weapon respectively.

 **Boomstick: She can fly with the Rocket Booster and the gunship, turn invisible with the cloak, bounce around the area with the spring, or even throw portable holes. PORTABLE FREAKING HOLES!**

Wiz: The portable hole is a small black spot that can be picked up, but if you step on it, or drive over it, you'll fall as if you walked off a cliff!

 **Boomstick: Sometimes, I just don't understand cartoon logic. I mean... how do you throw a hole?!**

Wiz: Just like her Mortar, each of these weapons only has a limited amount of uses. Usually, the more powerful a weapon is, the less uses it has.

 **Boomstick: I-I'm still trying to wrap my head around that portable hole... let's just move on...**

 **FEATS:**

 **SOMEHOW SET HER PRODUCER ON FIRE WITH JUST A COUPLE PUNCHES**

 **SURVIVES THE SHOW CEL DAMAGE DAILY**

 **SURVIVES BEING SUCKED THOUGH A WOOD CHIPPER**

 **CAN MAKE 90 DEGREE TURNS INSTANTLY**

Wiz: Violet is powerful. She, along with all of her other violent co-stars all survive every episode of Cel Damage, despite actively trying to kill each other for the entire duration. On top of this, without any weapons, she was capable of setting her producer on fire with nothing more than a few punches.

 **Boomstick: Using calculations that the guys over at Gnoggin did for good ol' captain falcon's falcon punch, a flaming punch needs to be going around Mach 23. Though these were calculations used for Captain Falcon, who is quite bigger and more muscular than Violet, so she's probably not going exactly the same as that. Not to mention, the punch didn't kill the producer, who is just a normal human. It only set him on fire.**

Wiz: Every weapon Violet has access to are also accessible to every other star of Cel Damage, and she can take hits from all of these weapons and has never once been badly injured, if she was injured at all!

 **Boomstick: And we can't forget that her odd cartoon logic lets her break physics with the boost jump or her sudden perfect 90 degree turns while going at full speed.**

 **WEAKNESSES:**

 **TANK HAS LOW DURABILITY**

 **LITTLE COMBAT OPTIONS OUTSIDE OF HER TANK**

 **HER TANK IS EASY TO PUSH AROUND**

Wiz: As mentioned before though, Violet is far from perfect. Her car's stats are pretty average and her tank's durability is one of the lowest in the game. And, just like every other cel damage character, her car is pretty easy to push around. Even other characters' weakest attacks are capable of knocking her back.

 **Boomstick: And despite having an amazingly big arsenal in her car, she's kinda limited out of her vehicle. She has very little experience fighting out of her car, except for killing harmless cartoon sheep and setting her producer on fire.**

Wiz: But these problems haven't stopped her yet. Somehow she's survived every episode of Cel Damage and even if tank IS destroyed due to it's low durability, she has the ability to summon a new one from the sky in a matter of seconds.

 **Boomstick: Well then we'd better hope that she can hold out for those few seconds!**

Violet: _Prepare to be torqued, freak!_

 _[Doors Close]_

Wiz: Once upon a time, Marcus Kane was a happy married man, A father of three, and an ice cream man. Working for himself meant he made good money and lived a fairly happy life with his family. But deep down... he hated it all.

 **Boomstick: Pff. What a baby. "Ohhh, I have a family that loves me and a steady job with good pay. My life suuuuucks."**

Wiz: Marcus found his life incredibly boring. And deep inside his mind, a little voice began nagging at him to release it. Day after day, this voice continued to grate at him until one day, Marcus decided to answer. In a bid to cease the voices in his head, Marcus crafted himself a clown mask to give the voice a mouth. But the moment he put on the mask, He no longer existed.

 **Boomstick: The voices in his head immediately took over. Marcus became nothing more than a memory as he transformed into the vicious serial killer, Needles Kane.**

 **MARCUS "NEEDLES" KANE**

 **AGE: 42**

 **SPECIES: HUMAN**

 **HOME: UNKNOWN**

 **PREFERRED WEAPON TYPE: WEAPONIZED ICE CREAM AND MACHETES**

 **FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOUR: STRAWBERRY**

Wiz: With Marcus gone, Needles took his first step in his new life and slaughtered his family. His daughter, Sophie, managed to escape however. And with that loss of a kill plaguing his mind, Needles chased after her, leaving one of his Son's, Charlie Kane, completely unharmed.

 **Boomstick: On his journey to hunt down Sophie, Needles butchered many other people and was eventually captured and given the death sentence. But, on the day he was supposed to be killed in the electric chair, a mysterious priest cast a curse on Needles, setting his head on fire permanently. Talk about a burning headache, Am I right? Ha!**

Wiz: Needles escaped from the electric chair, killed everyone present and got right back to his journey, killing anyone in his way. Eventually, he met the magical Calypso, who offered Needles the chance to have any wish granted, as long as he won Calypso's Twisted Metal Tournament.

 **Boomstick: Needles entered this tournament many times and won repeatedly, wishing for something different each time. One time he wished he could become a bug and life peacefully in some poor soul's garden, and another time he wished for the cure to his flaming head curse. Each time, however, Calypso gave the wish some kind of twist to make things turn out for the worst for Needles.**

Wiz: Of course, that didn't stop Needles from entering the tournament over and over again.

 **MACHETE**

 **CHAINSAW**

 **SHOTGUN**

 **FIRE BREATH**

 **MOLOTOV COCKTAIL**

 **PROXIMITY MINE**

 **STICKY BOMB**

 **CONTROLLABLE MISSILE**

 **Boomstick: When Needles is out being a serial killer, he prefers to do his killing on foot. As such, he's got a ton of weapons on standby. His personal favourite is his machete. The first weapon he ever had and the very tool he used to kill his wife and youngest son. Ahh, Good Memories~ He also has a chainsaw ready, in case he wants things to get messy!**

Wiz: If he wants something with just a little more range, He carries a powerful double barrelled Shotgun, and he can also harness his curse to breath a fire stream for a short range projectile. If he needs something a little more powerful, he has a number of explosives. Molotov cocktails that he can use to set foes on fire, a proximity mine that he can lay as a trap, or a sticky bomb.

 **Boomstick: For when he wants his victim to know there's no escape. Oh, and he can also fire powerful missiles that he himself can control!**

Wiz: But these are all just when he's on foot. None of this would have helped him during the twisted metal contest. For that occasion, he busts out his partner in crime... his Ice Cream van. Sweet Tooth!

 **SWEET TOOTH**

 **MAKE: 1996 CHEVROLET P30 STEPVAN**

 **STATS (COMPARED TO OTHER TWISTED METAL VEHICLES):**

 **SPEED: 3/5**

 **ARMOR: 4/5**

 **SPECIAL WEAPONS: 5/5**

 **OVERALL: 12/15**

 **SPECIAL WEAPONS:**

 **LAUGHING GHOST: INTANGIBLE EXPLOSIVE**

 **SWEET BOT: MECHA TRANSFORMATION**

 **Boomstick: While Needles often does go by the name Sweet Tooth, that actually the name of his vehicle, not the killer clown himself. And by god is it a beautiful vehicle. A 1996 Chevrolet P30 Stepvan. While it's speed is merely average, it's one of the more durable machines of the Twisted Metal series.**

Wiz: As an Ice cream truck, Sweet Tooth is durable, but kind of clunky. It's turning can be a little slow unless it's drifting. But it can also jump. While not quite as physics defying as Violet's jump boost, Sweet Tooth can leap up into the air as a way to dodge incoming attacks.

 **Boomstick: It's special weapons are often considered some of the most powerful in the game too!**

Wiz: That's right! Needles' first Special weapon is the Laughing ghost. A rather... odd weapon. The Clown head from the top of Sweet Tooth launches off of his car for a powerful explosion. But the odd part is that it's completely intangible, capable of flying through walls and obstacles until it hits it's target and explodes.

 **Boomstick: But his other special weapon is FAR cooler. The Sweet Bot. When activated, Needles' car transforms into a giant mecha. Not only does this beauty still have access to it's machine guns, but it can ram enemies with a turbo dash called "The Sixaxis slam", it can fire it's head as an explosive called "the laughing death" and it can even fly! If this ice cream truck has the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ice Cream then it's the best ice cream truck on the god damn planet!**

 **WEAPONS**

 **MOUNTED MACHINE GUNS**

 **REAR FLAME**

 **SNIPER RIFLE**

 **MISSILES - FIRE, HOMING, ZOOMY, SWARMER, STALKER, FREEZE, POWER**

 **BOMBS - LANDMINES, NAPALM, RICOCHET, REMOTE BOMB**

Wiz: Outside of his special weapons, Needles also has access to a large supply of regular weapons for Sweet Tooth. He always has his Mounted Machine Guns on the front of his car, allowing continuous light damage at all times.

 **Boomstick: For something with a little more reach, he has a sniper rifle. And if he needs some extra defence, he has the rear flame. A flamethrower attached to the back of his car to keep other from sneaking up on him.**

Wiz: He also has a huge supply of Missiles and Bombs. Fire missiles and Freeze missiles set alight and freeze their targets respectively. Homing Missiles target a foe and follow them until it impacts and Zoomy missiles are super fast.

 **Boomstick:** **The stalker missile is a chargeable projectile. The longer it's charged, the more accurate it will be. And at full charge, it's pretty much unavoidable. The Swarmer missile launches a barrage of small missiles and the Power missile is quite possibly the most powerful weapon he has, but it has no targeting and will simply fly straight ahead.**

Wiz: The Ricochet is a small toy car that will drive around an arena, bouncing off of walls until either it's timer runs out or it hits a foe. Either way, it'll blow up when it does. Landmines are dropped out behind Sweet Tooth to lay traps for foes, the Napalm bombs set them on fire and the Remote bomb will stay put until Needles himself decides it time for them to blow up.

 **Boomstick: He sure likes explosives, doesn't he?**

 **FEATS:**

 **HAS WON THE TWISTED METAL CONTEST MULTIPLE TIMES**

 **KILLED THE WISH GRANTING CALYPSO MULTIPLE TIMES**

 **HAS ONLY ONCE FAILED TO KILL A VICTIM**

 **KILLED AN ENTIRE HOSPITAL OF PEOPLE AND THE POLICE THAT TRIED TO STOP HIM**

Wiz: Needles and his truck, Sweet Tooth, are a true force to be reckoned with. Together, they've won the Twisted Metal Contest multiple times over. And, after being screwed over by Calypso one too many times, Needles killed the wish granting ringmaster on two separate occasions!

 **Boomstick: But Calypso is all magical so he just brought himself back to life. Sore loser...**

Wiz: Once Needles sets his sights on a kill, he won't stop. And this has proved effective. In his entire life, the only person he failed to kill was his own daughter, and that was only because it was his first ever murder and she got lucky, finding a pair of scissors to defend herself.

 **Boomstick: We're not joking. Needles once bust his way into a hospital and killed EVERYONE INSIDE while looking for Sophie Kane. She wasn't there. And because of that, he left in a rage, Killing the police officers that were trying to stop him on his way out.**

 **WEAKNESSES:**

 **SOMEWHAT EASILY TRICKED**

 **OBSESSIVE TO A FAULT**

 **TOTALLY INSANE**

Wiz: But his high kill count and low failure rate are not proof that he's unstoppable. Calypso has managed to trick Needles and almost every occasion the two of them have met. And one of these tricks even ended in Needles' death when we was buried alive with his daughters skeleton.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, this guy has some serious OCD. When he sets his sights on someone, everything else gets dropped and he focuses all of his effort on killing his new target. Which can often mean he doesn't think through plans or ends up walking right into a trap.**

Wiz: And, of course, he's totally insane. Not only did he spend time in a mental asylum, but in the very first Twisted Metal contest he won, he wished for... guess.

 **Boomstick: Uhh... Money? Power?**

Wiz: ...A paper bag.

 **Boomstick: Wait, WHAT?! WHY?!**

Wiz: In his insanity, he thought the paper bag was his old friend, Crazy Harold the Wacky Lunch Sack...

Needles: Y _ou just don't know! You don't know what it was like for me! It was just that I... and you... and them... YOU DON'T KNOW!_

 **Boomstick: Wh-... I... I have no words to describe my confusion right now!**

Wiz: Needles Kane is brutal, Merciless, and 100% insane. And that makes for a deadly combo. If you see him coming, you're likely already dead.

 **Boomstick: Unless you give him a paper bag, apparently. The fuck?!**

Needles: _Now that I'm free, I'm going to be the greatest of all time!_

 _[Doors close]_

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

 **Boomstick: It's time for a VEHICLE BATTLLLLLLLE!**

 _[Doors close]_

At Cel Damage studios, Violet in her tank smashes out through a wall, driving off for her lunch break. She drives out into the desert that the studios are based near, when she sees what seems to be and ice cream van not far away with a clown standing outside of it, holding an ice cream in his hands. Violet, feeling mischievous, activates her tank's Scimitar Sword and swings it as she drives past the clown, splatting his ice cream on the floor. She turns her tanks and skids to a stop so she could point and laugh at Needles.

The clown looked down at his splatted ice cream cone, then back up at Violet angrily. "My ice cream cone! That was a mistake, buddy!"

Violet stuck her tongue out at him. "Deal with it!" She shouted back, hopping out of her tank and strolling closer. Needles didn't expect that. Most young girls were terrified of him. Though this clearly wasn't an ordinary girl. She had wings and a tail.

"Well, get a load of you, cupcake! You know, I worked real hard on that ice cream cone! REAL hard! Don't know if you got any money in that skirt of yours. But one way or another, you're paying for it!" He said in his most threatening tone, before pulling out his treasured Machete.

Violet smirked. Oooh, she loved a good reason to fight! Out of seemingly nowhere, she pulled out her fire axe, smiling maniacally. "You are TOAST!"

 **FIGHT**

Needles charged at her, brandishing his machete wildly. Violet took a small step back in preparation and swung her axe, clashing it against his Machete. The two weapons remained in a deadlock for a moment, before Needles took a deep breath in and breathed fire on Violet. She winced in pain, but otherwise seemed undeterred. Needles noticed and simply raised his foot and gave her a hard kick backwards. He put away his machete and pulled out his Chainsaw, revving it, before charging after Violet again.

Violet quickly hopped back up to her feet from the kick and pulled out her own chainsaw, slamming it against Needles, letting sparks fly. Needles began laughing. Violet was far too inexperienced at hand to hand fighting, it seemed. "This is too easy!" He gave a strong shove with his chainsaw, knocking Violet's out of her hand. Then he quickly pulled out a shotgun and fired it at Violet launching her backwards toward her tank. "Sweet Tooth is back, baby! Bigger than ever! Hahahahaha!"

Violet hit her tank with a loud clang and slowly pulled herself to her feet. She glared at Needles before grinning and then quickly climbed into her tank. "So? You're still a total dork." She replied, sticking her tongue out again and revving her engine. Needles chuckled and quickly climbed into Sweet Tooth. And revved his own engine. The two cars seemed to be about the same size, Violet's slightly bigger, maybe.

The two vehicles jolted to life, driving right at each other. Needles began firing Sweet Tooth's mounted machine guns, peppering Violet's tank with bullets. Violet activated her tank's tommy gun and fired right back. Bullets began grazing each vehicle and they both kept getting closer and closer. And right before they were about to crash into each other... Violet used her jump boost, sending her hurtling through the air, right over Sweet Tooth. When she landed, her tank almost seemed to bend when it turned around to face Needles, rather than skid. Needles drifted around to face her too.

Violet activated her next weapon. Her Chain gun. She began firing directly at Sweet Tooth. Needles wasn't phased though. He activated his missile launchers. "Who wants a treat?" He called out, before firing a hail of swarmer missiles. Violet quickly changed her aim and began using her chain gun to shoot down the incoming missiles, but once they were all gone, she was out of ammo for the weapon. Upon seeing she was out, Needles fired more missiles at her. Two homing and a power.

Violet wasn't done yet though. She activated her baseball bat weapon and when the missiles were close enough, she simply batted them away again. She began laughing and stuck her tongue out at him again. Needles was beginning to get annoyed now, then he had an idea. He activated his laughing ghost and fired the bomb at Violet. She swung her baseball bat to knock it away... but the bomb phases right through the bat and collided with the tank. It exploded into pieces.

Needles drove a little closer, hopping out of Sweet Tooth and pulling out his machete. He walked towards the wreckage of the Tank, and violet pulled herself out of it, seemingly unharmed. "Maybe you didn't hear me, friend. There's a debt here and I'm willing to settle up!" Needles said, raising his machete to swing down on her. Violet simply smirked. A rope suddenly appeared next to her and she gave it a tug. Then, from the sky above them, a giant crate began falling down. Needles noticed and quickly dived out of the way.

The crate landed directly on violet and shattered open. And suddenly, she was sitting in a brand new replacement tank, laughing at Needles who was lying on his stomach after diving out of the way. "Nice faceplant!" She called out, activating her tank's boxing gloves and giving Needles a solid punch, knocking him right back to Sweet Tooth.

"This is starting to make me angry! Blood, pain, grief coming your way!" Needles roared, climbing back into Sweet Tooth and slamming a button. Sweet tooth began to shift and change. In a few seconds, it had transformed into Sweet Bot. The robot raised it's arm and began firing it's machine guns again, before dashing forwards and smashing into Violet with the Sixaxis slam. Violet's tank was pushed back and she activated her gunship weapon, propeller blades coming from the tank and two mini-guns protruding out too. She took to the skies, firing down at Sweet Bot. Sweet Bot didn't stop there though. It activated it's jets and flew after her, throwing it's head as a bomb.

The explosion Shook Violet's tank and Needles took advantage of the opportunity to dash in, grab the tank and rip the helicopter blades right off. Then he threw the tank down to the ground before deactivating his jets and falling, slamming on top of the tank. And, for good measure, he gave the tank a kick, sending it hurtling a little away. Violet shook her head, growling. "Nice driving...not!" She brought out a new weapon, her portable hole, and threw it on the ground in front of her. Sweet bot charged towards Violet, but didn't notice the hole. And even if he did notice it, it just looked like a black spot she threw on the ground. Needles didn't expect one of Sweet Bot's feet to suddenly fall in and get stuck.

Needles began trying to pull himself out of the portable hole, but Violet put a stop to that by firing a harpoon into Sweet Bot's other leg, pinning him in place. Then she activated her Tank's chainsaw and began driving towards Needles. She slammed the chainsaw against Sweet Bot's leg and after a couple of seconds, she cut clean through, causing Sweet Bot to collapse to the ground.

"It takes talent to get waxed like that." Violet said with a smirk, skidding to a halt the perfect distance away from Sweet bot and activating her Mortar. She fired all 6 of her available rounds into the sky. Needles began violently struggling inside of Sweet bot to get out or transform back into a truck, but with the leg severed, transforming was impossible. "Wake up, Tweety!" Violet yelled out as the mortar rounds finally landed on Sweet Bot exploding violently.

Violet drove over to the wrecked Sweet Bot and hopped out. She pulled out her axe and smashed her way inside of the vehicle. There she found Needles Kane's skeleton. She smiled and cut off his still flaming skull, complete with mask. "Stylin'!" She said, happily. This skull was getting added to her collection. Then she yelled out... "YARD SALE!"

 **K** **O**

 _[Doors Close]_

Violet drives away, juggling Needle's flaming skull in one hand, counting money in the other hand, and steering with her feet. Meanwhile, Flemming, another Cel Damage character, is seen taking apart the broken Sweet Bot for parts.

 **Boomstick: Oh my god, that was BADASS! We need to do more car fights, Wiz!**

Wiz: First, let's cover the basics. When Violet and Needles are out of their cars, Needles has a clear advantage. He has more weapons and much greater experience thanks to his years of killing. However, when in their cars, Violet takes the edge.

 **Boomstick: Needles may be a murderer, and he may win the Twisted Metal tournament a few times, but he's nowhere near as experienced in car combat as Violet, who takes on much deadlier threats than Sweet Tooth in the Cel Damage tournament at least once a week.**

Wiz: Also, Sweet Tooth has a much more limited arsenal than Violet's Tank. Her many different guns, melee weapons and cartoon logic weapons make her much more varied and unpredictable.

 **Boomstick: But wait, wiz? What about the stats?**

Wiz: Violet's tank may not be very durable, and is kind of easy to push around, but so is every other car in Cel damage. Including B.T. Bruno's 18,000 lbs truck. That's 9 tons! And Violet's tank may be less durable than Bruno's truck, but it's far bigger and is probably even heavier. Violet's stats are less impressive that Sweet Tooth's because of the context that the stats are from. Besides, if Violet's Tank was destroyed, she can always just summon another one at will.

 **Boomstick: I dunno. I'm still not sure about this.**

Wiz: Oh yeah? Well here is the kicker then. While researching Violet, I found this quote inside the Manual for Cel Damage: Overdrive on the Playstation 2. Ahem: "And, because 'toons never die, it doesn't matter how many times the cast members are blasted apart during the show. They just keep coming back for more." End Quote.

 **Boomstick: Fuckin' Seriously? So Violet is literally immortal?**

Wiz: Yep. She even explains this herself in her ending cutscene "M.E.A.T" which can be found on youtube. There is 0% chance for Needles to ever kill Violet, unless he had the dip from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

 **Boomstick: Damn, that's bullshit. Needles should have just stopped clowning around...**

Wiz: The winner is Violet.

 _[Doors close]_

 **Boomstick: Next tiiiime on death battle..!**

?: Tell me… Do you fear death?

?: Do ya mind? I be in the middle of an unholy ceremony here!

OOC Notes time: Hope you enjoyed! Good luck guessing the next two fighters. The reward is just the same. Guess correctly and you can find out what comes AFTER these next too.

Please review. I love reading them! ^^


	5. Episode 5: LeChuck VS Davy Jones

Wiz: Pirates. Sea Sailing, grog swilling, bloodthirsty brutes of the high seas.

 **Boomstick: Not a bad way to live life, if you ask me!**

Wiz: Pirates may be dangerous, but if our show has taught you anything, it's that things can always be...

 **Boomstick: MORE AWESOME! Like evil cursed pirates!**

Wiz: Uhh, yeah... Like LeChuck! The Demon Zombie Ghost Pirate.

 **Boomstick: And Davy Jones. Ruler of the Ocean Depths. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.**

Wiz: And It's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle!

[DOORS CLOSE]

Wiz: Around 200 to 300 years ago, in the 18th century, the oceans were a very different place to what they are now. For one, with no way to fly yet, humans had to traverse them. This included trading and receiving goods.

 **Boomstick: But, with the transfer of valuables came many a thief. Bloodthirsty, ocean bound thieves. Pirates. And they especially seemed to like pillaging around the Caribbean.**

Wiz: And among all of these cut-throat kills, not were more vicious, deadly or feared, than the Fearsome LeChuck!

 **NAME: LECHUCK**

 **AGE: WHO KNOWS**

 **SPECIES: GHOST/ZOMBIE/DEMON**

 **NEMESIS OF GUYBRUSH THREEPWOOD; MIGHTY PIRATE™**

 **BEARD TYPE: SPECTRAL/BLACK/FIRE**

 **Boomstick: LeChuck was a true pirate in every sense of the word. He sailed the oceans with his mighty crew, seeking treasure, pillaging villages, and stealing from and/or killing anyone who got in his way. He was totally unstoppable.**

Wiz: Well... he WAS. Until he met Elaine Marley, the Governor of Mêlée Island™. When he met her, LeChuck immediately fell desperately in love with her, but due to his overly violent and evil nature, Elaine didn't return any of those feelings in the slightest.

 **Boomstick: YEah, then the heartless bitch when so far as to tell him to drop dead!**

Wiz: Heartless? She didn't love a psychopath, can you really blame her for that?

 **Boomstick: ...Yes. Anyway, with that little conversation over, LeChuck changed his plans. He set out with his crew on a new quest to find the legendary treasure of Big Whoop in order to impress Elaine enough that she would fall for him.**

Wiz: He eventually succeeded in finding the treasure, however, the was not quite what he was expecting.

 **Boomstick: That's right! Big Whoop wasn't gold, or jewels. It was the fucking gateway to hell!**

Wiz: When LeChuck stepped through Big Whoop, he was instantly killed, only to be immediately reborn as a Ghost pirate. With his new form, he tracked down those with knowledge of Big Whoop and killed them to make sure no one else would ever find it, and went right back to his murderous ways, eventually scaring off all other pirates and leaving himself as the only pirate sailing the seas.

 **SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH**

 **CURSED CUTLASS OF KAFLU**

 **CAN ONLY BE WIELDED BY DEMONS**

 **GHOST FORM**

 **FLIGHT**

 **SHAPESHIFTING**

 **ZOMBIE FORM**

 **SKILLED IN VOODOO**

 **HYPNOSIS**

 **DEMON FORM**

 **PYROKINESIS**

 **CAN SWITCH BETWEEN OTHER FORMS**

 **Boomstick: I know, right? It's totally fucking badass! And his backstory isn't the only badass part. LeChuck is also a badass when it comes to fighting!**

Wiz: LeChuck wields the Cursed cutlass of Kaflu, an evil magical blade with enough power to decimate pretty much anything it touches. Though it can only be wielded by demonic entities. The blade is made of; 37 oz. of stolen blood stained silver, the Ultimate Insult, the Midas Diamond, a Voodoo Doll and enchanted Root Beer.

 **Boomstick: After returning to life as a ghost, LeChuck also found his already amazing strength was amplified to superhuman levels, allowing him to deliver some real hard hitting punches. And he was also able to disguise himself as a regular human! As well as do the usual ghost-like stuff of intangibility and flight.**

Wiz: However, His ghost form was eventually killed by Guybrush Threepwood, LeChuck's archnemesis. However, LeChuck's loyal followers retrieved his spectral beard and attached it to his corpse. The leftover magic of Big Whoop, as well as some additional Voodoo, reanimated LeChuck's corpse, bringing him back to life once again as a Zombie.

 **Boomstick: As a brain-muncher, LeChuck didn't have his superhuman strength anymore, but that was replace by an insane amount of knowledge on all things Voodoo. Including cursing bitches, hypnotizing people, or creating Voodoo dolls!**

Wiz: Said Voodoo dolls require four ingredients to work. "One of the head, One of the thread, One of the body and One of the dead."

 **Boomstick: ...I don't get it.**

Wiz: Basically, it means something from the victim's head, something from the victim's clothes, something of the victim's body and something of a dead person who is important to the victim.

 **Boomstick: He also created a Voodoo cannonball! A weapon filled with enough demon energy to capsize an entire ship and obliterate any nearby crew in one shot.**

Wiz: True! ...Buuuut, that Voodoo cannon ball is quite volatile. He dropped it onto the deck of his own ship and...

 **Boomstick: Yeeeeah, it didn't turn out well for the guy.**

Wiz: Actually, it turned out far better than you'd believe. The Demon energy of the cannonball, reacted with LeChuck's own Voodoo powered form, and after the cannonball killed him, he was resurrected for a third time in yet another new form. His DEMON form.

 **Boomstick: Holy shit. For real?! He became a demon?! That's fuckin' awesome! Just look at that glorious fire beard..!**

Wiz: In his demon form, LeChuck regained all of the abilities he had in his ghost form, as well as the ability to not only control fire, but also switch between all three forms of Ghost, Zombie and Demon at will whenever he wants to.

 **Boomstick: Why the heck would he want to leave the Demon form?! It is CLEARLY the best!**

 **GHOST PIRATE SHIP**

 **FLOATS ON WATER AND LAVA CAN TURN INVISIBLE**

 **NOT INTANGIBLE**

 **CANNONS**

 **VOODOO CANNONBALL**

 **CREW**

 **GHOST CREW PREFER PLAYING MUSIC, NOT FIGHTING**

 **SKELETON CREW, BRAINLESS**

Wiz: Upon becoming a ghost, LeChuck needed a new ship. So he found a travelling ship of musicians, capsized the ship and killed everyone on board. Then he used the power of big whoop to bring the ship itself back, along with the crew as ghosts.

 **Boomstick: This ghost ship is capable of sailing on both water and lava without taking any hull damage. On top of that it houses several cannons that can rain balls of steel down on enemy ships!**

Wiz: That said, it's also important to note that despite being a ghost ship, it is NOT intangible. Mortals can still walk on it's deck and it can still be damaged by regular weapons.

 **Boomstick: As for the crew handling the ship, LeChuck can bring people back as either ghosts or skeletons. The ghost keep their personality and intelligence that they had in life, as well as being completely unkillable. But the ghost in particular working for LeChuck? Well, they're pussies who don't fight. They prefer making music. Luckily, he could instead bring the dead back as skeletons. While the skeletons are much better at fighting, they're totally brainless and act only on command.**

Wiz: After becoming a demon, LeChuck was eventually defeated by Guybrush yet again, when he was buried under an avalanche of ice. He remained trapped underneath this until he was eventually rescued by an evil Australian land developer by the name of Ozzie Mandrill.

 **Boomstick: Ozzie hated all pirates with a passion and planned to use LeChuck as a pawn to help him remove all pirates from the world for good, by using the Ultimate Insult. A powerful artifact that would shatter the souls of it's victims and render them nothing more a quivering cowardly mass of human.**

Wiz: As the plan came closer to fruition, LeChuck eventually turned on Ozzie with his new form.

 **STATUE LECHUCK**

 **SUDDEN KNOWLEDGE OF MONKEY KOMBAT**

 **CAN FIRE VOODOO ENERGY BLASTS**

 **FUCKING HUGE!**

 **PIRATE GOD LECHUCK**

 **POWERED BY ENERGY OF THE SPIRITUAL WORLD**

 **VOODOO TIME FREEZE**

 **Boomstick: Once when Ozzie's ultimate insult amplifier failed, LeChuck threw a temper tantrum and decided to possess a gigantic statue of himself so he could crush Ozzie for wasting his time.**

Statue LeChuck: ARR! Ye be lookin' like ants from up here!

 **Boomstick: Holy fucking shit, he's huge!**

Wiz: And his size isn't the only thing that improves with this form. LeChuck also gains knowledge of the forgotten art of Monkey Kombat. An ancient martial art that greatly improves his strength and allows hims to fire powerful voodoo energy blasts from his hands.

 **Boomstick: AND it can fire ki blasts?! SWEET!**

Wiz: Also, an even stronger form of LeChuck exists. The Pirate god form. Powered by mystical monkeys, energy of the spiritual world and the ancient artifact known as La Esponja Grande, LeChuck becomes, well... a god! In this form, he's only vulnerable to attacks if he's hit in both the physical and spiritual world at the same and he can even freeze time at will.

 **Boomstick: That sounds sounds SUPER OP to me.**

Wiz: Unfortunately, The pirate god form requires multiple things that LeChuck doesn't have ready access to, so it's not something he can bust out whenever her needs.

 **Boomstick: Aww, that's Bullshit.**

 **FEATS**

 **PUNCHED GUYBRUSH AROUND AN ISLAND REPEATEDLY**

 **SURVIVED BEING BURIED UNDER AN AVALANCHE**

 **SURVIVED THE ULTIMATE INSULT**

 **EVENTUALLY MANAGED TO KILL GUYBRUSH**

Wiz: Even so, It's not like LeChuck is lacking power without it. Even in just his ghost form, he was able to punch Guybrush hard enough to send him flying way way up in the air and all the way from one side of Mêlée Island™ to the other.

 **Boomstick: And showing off his strength isn't his only feat. This guys survives a lot of shit! He survived being buried by an avalanche, the explosion of his voodoo cannonball and the uncontrollable voodoo magic of the ultimate insult!**

Wiz: Even aside of physical feats, LeChuck can be pretty crafty too. He was smart enough to trick Guybrush AND Elaine into thinking he'd become good. Then used their trust to kill Guybrush with a stab through the heart.

 **Boomstick: So... the bad guy actually won?!**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **ROOT BEER**

 **HIS INTELLIGENCE VARIES**

 **EXTREMELY COCKY**

 **HIS OWN CUTLASS**

 **OUTSMARTED AND KILLED BY GUYBRUSH REPEATEDLY, EVEN AFTER KILLING HIM!**

Wiz: Despite being pretty crafty, LeChuck... Well, he's not all that bright. He's easy to trick. And on top of that, he's extremely cocky and loves trying to intimidate foes, rather than going for killing blows immediately.

 **Boomstick: And that's not to mention his own cursed cutlass would kill him in an instant if it were used against him.**

Wiz: On top of this, Guybrush managed to repeatedly defeat LeChuck almost EVERY time they have an encounter.

 **Boomstick: But wait. Didn't you just say LeChuck managed to kill Guybrush?**

Wiz: Yes, he did. But despite that, Guybrush still came back and killed LeChuck again.

 **Boomstick: Aww, that's bullshit.**

Wiz: But, none of that compares to LeChuck's biggest weakness... Root Beer.

 **Boomstick: ...You're kidding me, right?**

Wiz: Not in the slightest. Root Beer is the ultimate counter to any voodoo magic. Spraying LeChuck with fizzy Root Beer will instantly cause him immense pain and launch him back into the spirit world. Essentially killing him.

 **Boomstick: That's... just... why do we keep using characters with liquid weaknesses?! Bowser Junior had Fruit Juice, Drago was scared of water, Violet can be killed by the Dip from roger rabbit. Can they really not think of any cooler weaknesses?**

Wiz: Well he IS from a comedy adventure game series. Regardless, he's still amazingly deadly. And certainly a pirate who you don't want to cross.

LeChuck: Burn down every island in the Caribbean if you have to, but bring me my bride!... and more slaw! Curse the villains, they never give you enough slaw with these value meals.

[DOORS CLOSE]

Wiz: Long long ago, there lived a sailor. He traveled all around the oceans, particularly the Caribbean, and quickly became one of the most revered and legendary Sea Men in the world.

 **Boomstick: Heh heh heh...**

Wiz: What's so funny?

 **Boomstick: Sea men...**

Wiz: Ugh... This sailor continued sailing around, his reputation growing each time he raised anchor. He was unstoppable! And his name was Davy Jones!

 **NAME: DAVY JONES**

 **AGE: SEVERAL HUNDRED YEARS**

 **SPECIES: SEA MONSTER / FORMER HUMAN**

 **NEMESIS OF JACK SPARROW / WILL TURNER**

 **BEARD TYPE: TENTACLES**

 **Boomstick: Jones continued sailing until he met the most vicious creature any man could ever face... a woman!**

Wiz: A goddess to be exact. Calypso, the Goddess of the ocean. Davy fell in love with Calpyso and she fell for him. As a reward for his love, the Goddess gave him a gift. She turned Davy immortal and gave him the important job of ferrying souls that were lost at sea. However, this ability came with the limitation of being unable to walk on land except for once every ten years.

 **Boomstick: And so, Calypso agreed she would meet with Jones again in ten years time, on the island they first met, and finally marry. After 10 years had passed he came ashore... but she was nowhere to be found. The bitch.**

Wiz: Despite his love for her, after those 10 years passed, Davy plotted against Calypso for her lying and manipulating, trapping her within a mortal body and leaving her ashore. As his guilt began building, Davy finally decided to cut out his own heart and lock it away in a chest, so he would not have to deal with the emotions anymore. And once his heart was removed, he went from a tough but kind sailor, to the ruthless, brutal and bloodthirsty lord of the ocean.

 **SUPER STRENGTH**

 **LOBSTER CLAW**

 **CUTLASS**

 **FLINTLOCK PISTOL**

 **PREHENSILE TENTACLE BEARD**

 **Boomstick: Of course, you don't become feared without being a true threat, and Davy Jones is just that! After hundreds of years of his immortality, he's transformed into a seamonster/human hybrid. This improves his physical strength greatly, capable of lifting an average adult male as if he were a piece of paper.**

Wiz: His left hand transformed into a lobster claw which, when combined with his strength, is capable of decapitating people without a problem. His right hand and his beard both transformed into tentacles that he has prehensile control over. These tentacles are strong enough to crush skulls and he once used his beard to kill a man by shoving a tentacle into every orifice on the poor guy's face.

 **Boomstick: DEAR GOD! That is fuckin' disgusting. DO. NOT. WANT. Quick, talk about his weapons instead!**

Wiz: R-right! He also wields two standard weapons. He has a cutlass, a short, broad sabre with a slight curved edge, specializing in slashing.

 **Boomstick: And his other weapon is a Flintlock pistol. A powerful hand cannon, around 7 inches long, that is used as a close range projectile.**

Wiz: Also, since he's not an immortal sea monster hybrid, Davy Jones is capable of regenerating from almost any injury! Of course, what he has on him isn't his only weapon. After all, what kind of pirate would he be without a ship?

 **THE FLYING DUTCHMAN**

 **20 36-POUND CANNONS**

 **18 24-POUND CANNONS**

 **SEVERAL 6-POUND CANNONS**

 **2 TRIPLE-BARRELED CHASERS**

 **CREW**

 **IMMORTAL**

 **EQUIPPED WITH WHIPS AND SWORDS**

 **CAN TELEPORT**

Wiz: Jones captains the ship known as The Flying Dutchman. This supernatural ship is capable of sailing both above the water, and submerging like a submarine.

 **Boomstick: The ship itself isn't the only supernatural thing though. So is it's crew! The crew of The Flying Dutchman. Whenever Davy pillages a passing ship, he offers his victims a choice. Either join his crew, or die.**

Wiz: If they join, they gain regenerative powers and immortality equal to that of Davy Jones. Even if beheaded, the crew can continue on as if nothing had happened!

 **Boomstick: Each member of the crew are equipped with their own cutlass, and some even have whips! It's also likely that they all have a Flintlock pistol of their own, but they've never used any, so we can't really use that.**

Wiz: Also, the crew are capable of teleporting aboard The Flying Dutchman if they need to.

 **Boomstick: Alright Wiz, enough about the crew. I wanna talk about the important shit. The Flying Dutchman's arsenal! this ship is equipped with over 40 cannons ready for use at any time! The weakest of which are the 6-Pound cannons, that can fire... well... cannonballs weighing 6 pounds. The ship also houses 18 24-pound cannons and 20 36-pound cannons. And given what I said about the 6-pounders. I'm pretty sure you can figure out what they all fire.**

Wiz: The Flying Dutchman also has...

 **Boomstick: AHEM!**

Wiz: ...Fine. You do it then...

 **Boomstick: Thank you! The ship has ALSO got 2 Triple Barreled Chasers. These guns are only really effective at crippling feeling ships by attacking them from behind. Ok, Wiz. All done with weapons.**

Wiz: ...

 **Boomstick: Oh, c'mon, ya grump!**

Wiz: *Unintelligible Grumbling*

 **Boomstick: I'll catch you some squirrels to experiment on~**

Wiz: ...Ok, fine. Onto the greatest weapon in Davy Jones' arsenal.

 **THE KRAKEN**

 **THE LENGTH OF TEN SHIPS**

 **DESTROYED AND SANK HUNDREDS OF PIRATE SHIPS**

 **KILLED JACK SPARROW**

 **CAN WITHSTAND CANNONFIRE**

Wiz: Legends going as far back as the 12th century talk of a mythical beast that roamed the ocean, crushing any poor souls that voyaged the seas. A giant leviathan the length of ten ships. This creature is the Kraken.

 **Boomstick: And god DAMN is it tough! It can easily take down ships and has a healing factor too, albeit a pretty slow working one. It can tank cannonfire from point blank range and get right back up after a few moments.**

Wiz: It's also the only being that has ever canonically killed Captain Jack Sparrow. Granted, it wasn't a very fair fight, seeing as though Jack was alone on a ship and bound to the mast.

 **Boomstick: Jones and his crew can summon this immense monstrosity through the use of the Capstan Hammer, a large mechanism on The Flying Dutchman that sends shock waves through the ocean to summon the beast.**

 **FEATS**

 **ENSLAVED/KILLED HUNDREDS OF PIRATES OVER THE YEARS**

 **TAMED THE KRAKEN**

 **CAN REGENERATE FROM ALMOST ANYTHING**

Wiz: Davy Jones is known as the ruler of the ocean for a reason. He managed to tame the Kraken, a beast of legend that only existed to destroy! And thanks to his powerful ship and his immortality, he's enslaved and captured hundreds of foes over the course of his immortal life.

 **Boomstick: And, thanks to his curse, both his crew AND himself are pretty much immune top death. If they are beheaded? No big deal. they can just pick their head. Have an arm hacked off? Nope. It'll grow back. No matter what you do to the guy, he'll be getting back up from it with no problem.**

Wiz: Well... ALMOST anything, anyway.

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **CAN ONLY WALK ON DRY LAND ONCE EVERY TEN YEARS**

 **HIS HEART CANNOT REGENERATE**

Wiz: Davy Jones's regenerative abilities may seem to be overpowered, but they can all be stopped by simply stabbing it heart. One hit to his heart and that's it. He's dead permanently.

 **Boomstick: Really?! For someone so tough to be killed by something so simple? Bullshit.**

Wiz: Well, I wouldn't call it simple. Davy Jones ripped out his own heart, remember? He locked it away in a chest and buried it on the Caribbean island known as Isla Cruces. Meaning in order to actually kill the guy, You'd need to not only know where the heart is buried, but also have the key to open the chest.

 **Boomstick: Oh well that's not so bad.**

Wiz: Also, another part of his curse means that he can only step onto dry land for one day every 10 years. his crew, however, are more than welcome to leave the ship.

 **Boomstick: All in all, Ol' tentacle beard has a lot going for him. And he's pretty good at covering for his weaknesses too.**

Wiz: You don't mess with the Lord of the ocean depths...

Davy Jones: Life is cruel. Why should the afterlife be any different?

[DOORS CLOSE]

Wiz: Alright, the Combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all

 **Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLLLLE!**

[DOORS CLOSE]

Out in the ocean a mile or two off the coats of Mêlée Island™, in the middle of the night, LeChuck's ghost ship floated along. Aboard the ship, he stood on deck, ordering the crew around.

"YARR! Hurry it up, ye bilgerats! We've gotta catch up to Threepwood already, before he ruins me plans again!" LeChuck yelled out, in his Demon form. His Skeleton and Ghost crew rushing around him and working. As the sailed along, they didn't notice a second ship suddenly rise from the ocean behind them. At the head of the boat, Davy Jones.

"Hmm. Crew! That ship over there. It seems to be full a lost souls. Get after 'em. I'll have to send them on their way to the Locker. Or get 'em to join us, Heh Heh Heh." He commanded in his thick scottish accent. The ship began to trail after LeChuck's activating the Triple Barreled Chasers. By the time LeChuck had noticed the ship following them, it was too late. The chasers began firing, getting hits off on the back of the ghost ship and causing it to start losing speed dramatically.

LeChuck gave a guttural growl, switching to his Ghost form for seemingly no reason. "Grrr... Who be these fools, thinkin' they can take on ME! CREW! Forget Threepwood! Turn and ready the cannons!" The Ghost ship began turning until it was side-facing The Flying Dutchman. "They messed with the wrong Pirate!"

 **FIGHT!**

"Fire!" Yelled out LeChuck. His crew activated the cannons, launching cannonballs at The Flying Dutchman. As the cannonballs began flying over, The Flying Dutchman pulled a hard left turn so that both ships were side facing. It's own cannons came out of the side of the ship, taking aim. Both ships began exchanging shots, but it seemed like LeChuck's ghost ship was taking more hits. "Argh. We're takin' hits. Crew! To the boats! We're goin' on a little boardin' mission. We'll kill the scurvy dogs and take their ship fer attackin' us!" Some of LeChuck's crew made their way into the boats and began rowing towards the opposing ship. Meanwhile, LeChuck himself flew into the air and right over to The Flying Dutchman, drawing his cutlass as he approached for landing.

Davy noticed the ghost flying over. "Get ready men. Seems we have a pirate very different to what we've faced before!" He called out to the crew. LeChuck landed, giving a wide grin as he morphed into his Zombie form.

"Ya ha harr! Ye DARE try to pick a fight with the demon zombie ghost pirate himself?" He raised his sword, aiming it directly at Captain Jones. The moment he did, Jones, and every other crew member of the Dutchman, drew their own blades and pointed them at LeChuck. "E'ery one of ya filthy scumbags are gonna try and take ME down? Seems like an unfair fight in my opinion. Ya ha ha!" LeChuck laughed out. Davy gave a nod to his crew and they all advanced on him, surrounded him and going in for the attack with their swords. LeChuck swung his cutlass around, fighting off the opposing crew as they attacked. Though he was quickly getting outnumbered. He grinned and switched into his demon form, roaring out a stream of fire, igniting many crew members. While they were shock, he spun around, swinging his blade and effortlessly decapitating a crew member.

LeChuck laughed out loudly and obnoxiously at his murder when he stopped. He noticed that the monster had picked up it's own removed head and placed it right back onto it's neck. "Well I'll be. Ye must all be Voodoo Powered too, Am I right?" LeChuck asked, smirking. His own crewmembers finally made their way aboard the ship and immediately began attacking the Dutchman's crew. Davy Jones rolled his eyes and walked towards LeChuck, ready to fight.

"We're not any Voodoo beings, lost soul. I'm Captain Davy Jones of the Flying Dutchman. And we're here to take you lost souls to the locker. Unless of course you'd rather join us." He said with a grin. LeChuck burst out laughing.

"Me?! Join YER crew? ARR HAR HAR HAR! Ye WISH ye could be so lucky as to have me working for ya!" LeChuck replied. He went to swing his sword at Davy again when there came a loud boom. He glanced out across the ocean to his own ship to see it sinking. "ME SHIP! You disgusting monsters killed me ride! I hope ye be willing to pay for that in blood!" LeChuck roared, charging at Davy. The two of them clashed their blades together repeatedly, fighting expertly. Their crews too.

"Ye fight like a dairy farmer!" Yelled out LeChuck. Davy didn't give a reply and LeChuck didn't seem to understand. "Umm... Ye supposed to insult me back. Ye never been in a sword fight before?"

Davy Gave a smirk. "I don't need to insult you. I have SKILL that I can use to kill you, rather than distractions." He said, giving a powerful swing of his cutlass to which LeChuck quickly turned into a ghost and let the sword go right through him. Suddenly, a yell came out from behind them. LeChuck and Davy turned to see one of Davy's crewmembers had been stabbed through the heart. Gasping for breath, the monster keeled over stone dead.

"Ah Ha! So that be yer weakness, eh? A Swift stab to the heart." LeChuck laughed out before suddenly doing just as he said an impaled the Cutlass of Kaflu directly through where Davy's heart should have been... but nothing happened. "Wait, what?" He asked, turning into a Zombie again

"Rookie mistake, Lad!" Said Davy, giving Zombie LeChuck a kick backwards. He pulled out his Flintlock pistol took aim for LeChuck's head and pulled the trigger. But Davy quickly turned into his demon form and let out another roar of fire, causing Davy to recoil slightly. While he was staggered, LeChuck turned into a ghost again and shot off, flying away. He had a plan. Davy watched the ghost fly away. He seemed to be disappointed. "Oh well, lads. Round up his crew and send them off to the locker instead." He ordered. The monsters were quickly able to outmatch the inexperienced ghost pirates and the dumb skeleton pirates. They then began pushing them all off and into the ocean one by one.

Suddenly there came a noise. Boom. Boom! BOOM! Davy and all of the pirates on the ship turned to see something none of them expected. A giant statue of LeChuck was wading through the ocean. It was about waist deep. " **YAR HAR HAR. YE ALL LOOK SO TINY DOWN THERE. YE'LL BE MAKING A FINE MIDNIGHT SNACK!** " He shouted out.

Davy seemed incredibly shocked. He pulled out his pistol and fired at the statue twice... nothing. "Damn it. Men! You know what to do! RELEASE THE KRAKEN!" Every single crew member charged for the Capstan Hammer without a word of complaint and began to turn it. LeChuck reached down, grabbing up a handful of Dutchman crew members and tossing them into his mouth, chewing them up.

LeChuck, while chewing, slooooowly raised a fist to bring down on the Dutchman, to destroy it. But as his fist came down to attack, he felt something on his back. LeChuck stopped and turned on the spot to see what was behind him. Suddenly, tentacles burst from the ocean and grappled onto him, binding him. He began struggling as the Kraken began attempting to crush him with it's powerful tentacles. And sure enough, his statue was starting to crack.

LeChuck's giant stone eyes closed as he began channeling the power of Monkey Kombat. " **OOP. ACK. CHEE.** " He called out. With a small flash and a flex, he broke free of the Kraken's grip and got into the Gimpy Gibbon stance. He thrust both palms forward, launching a rip-off hadoken at the Kraken before following up with a powerful uppercut, sending the creature high up into the sky. He re-positioned himself and as the Kraken came back down, he delivered another punch, tearing right through the Kraken, killing it. The dead leviathan collapsed on top of the Dutchman, the ship just barely staying afloat. But LeChuck's statue form was too damaged to keep fighting. The statue began crumbling and LeChuck quickly abandoned the form, landing on the Dutchman again.

"That... That's impossible! What are you?!" Asked Jones angrily.

"I be the scourge of the seas!" LeChuck replied as he changed from his ghost form into his demon form again. Davy motioned for his crew to stand back. He was going to kill LeChuck himself.

The two of them slammed their swords against each other repeatedly constantly going back and forth on who was getting the upper hand. Both of them put all their strength into one last slash and the swords collided, letting out sparks briefly. LeChuck transformed into his Zombie form and looked right into Davy's eyes, trying to intimidate him. "Well, Tentacles? Ye ready to leave this world?"

Davy simply smirk. LeChuck had gotten too close. He suddenly launched out his lobster claw, gripping it tightly around LeChuck's throat. "That depends. Are you?" Davy replied, with a cocky laugh, before clamping down onto LeChuck's throat then... SNAP! He cut clean through decapitating LeChuck. The Zombie's head fell to the floor and Davy pulled out his pistol once again. He took aim and fired. BANG! LeChuck's head exploded. "Simple as that."

K.O! ...Or was it?

LeChuck back away from Davy Jones. While he was staring into Davy Jones' eyes to intimidate him, he was ACTUALLY hypnotizing him. "Well, it's been fun, But I think I'd best be shovin' off now." He grabbed one of Davy's beard tentacles and cut it off. "One from the head..." He then removed Davy's hat and put the tentacle inside of it. "One from the thread..." Next he brought the hat up to the stump that was left after cutting off the tentacle. LeChuck gave it a squeeze and some of Davy's blood dripped out into the hat. "One from the body..." He turned around, looking at the dead Kraken. He wandered over and shoved his hand inside of it, pulling out one of the Kraken's bones. He threw that into the hat too. "And one from the dead!"

LeChuck charged his hand with Voodoo energy and placed that into the hat. In a flash of light, the hat and all of the ingredients inside, transformed into a Voodoo Doll of Davy Jones. Suddenly, Davy snapped out of his trance to see LeChuck holding his Cursed Cutlass against the Voodoo Doll's chest. "So yer heart isn't in yer chest? Let's see if this voodoo doll can find it!" And without giving Davy a chance to react, he shoved the blade into the doll.

A few islands away, buried on Isla Cruces, Davy's heart began beating a little faster. and faster! And then..! SPLAT! The heart exploded without even needing to be dug up. Back on the Dutchman, Captain Jones clutched at his chest, gasping for air. He took one look back at LeChuck who had once again become a demon. "I... I..." He began, before collapsing on the deck, dead. LeChuck then began laughing wildly.

All the leftover crewmembers of the Dutchman quickly rushed over, bowing to LeChuck. "We're awaiting orders, captain." LeChuck smirked.

"Nah. I don't wanna share a ship with ye backstabbin' bilgedrinkin' searats!" He then flew up into the air, pulling the Voodoo Cannonball out of his jacket and dropped it down on the Dutchman.

BOOOM! And with that, the Dutchman sank into the ocean, along with the crew and the dead Kraken.

[DOORS CLOSE]

 **K.O.**

LeChuck flies off over the ocean, finds a new ship and flies down, slaughtering the crew and reviving them as Skeletons to serve him. Then he sails away. Meanwhile, the Davy Jones' overcoat floats along on the ocean for a moment before sinking down.

 **Boomstick: HIT! You sunk my Battleship! Both of them, actually!**

Wiz: This fight was both very one-sided, and very hard to call at the same time. Firstly let's cover their ships.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, the Flying Dutchman completely outclasses LeChuck's Ghost Pirate ship. It has far more cannons, and different types of cannons too, giving it more options.**

Wiz: The same could be said of the crews. LeChuck's crew are weaker, dumber and far less experienced than Davy Jones' crew. They also can't swim, meaning that most of them were taken out along with LeChuck's ship.

 **Boomstick: But aside from that... LeChuck's crew outrank Davy's in durability! Sure, Davy's crew gains the same regenerative abilities as he does... but that's just it! they have the SAME regenerative powers. Meaning one stab/shot to the heart will kill 'em stone dead. And, unlike Davy Jones, his crew still have their hearts in their bodies.**

Wiz: Overall, though, Jones's crew still out class LeChuck's. Next up, the Kraken.

 **Boomstick: Despite being stupid strong and powerful, the was no doubt LeChuck could take out the Kraken. It was taken down by regular old humans eventually. And Despite being able to take cannonball hits... It still take very clear damage from them.**

Wiz: And finally, the pirates themselves. When compared against each other, it's pretty easy to see that LeChuck completely outclassed Davy Jones. Not only was he much stronger, but his Cursed Cutlass easily outclassed Davy's weaponry. Not to mention, Davy has never shown any immunity or resistance to Voodoo, such as Voodoo Dolls and Hypnotism.

 **Boomstick: But that said, neither of the Pirates really had an easy way to kill each other... or so you might think. LeChuck's Voodoo Dolls use powerful magic to attack parts of a person's body, even if said body part is NOT attached to the victim.**

Wiz: Meaning that stabbing a Davy Jones doll in the heart WOULD kill him. Even if his heart was not nearby.

 **Boomstick: And, even if the Voodoo doll COULDN'T kill Davy, it's unlikely the result would have changed. Since Davy isn't demonic, he would not be able to wield the Cursed Cutlass of Kaflu against LeChuck. Meaning the only possible way he could defeat him would be spraying him with Fizzy Root Beer. However, that... well, that's not gonna happen.**

Wiz: According to the official Pirates of the Caribbean timeline, Will Turner killed Davy Jones in the 1740's. But the first commercially Root Beer was not released until 1875. Meaning that even if LeChuck told Davy Jones what his weakness was, Davy would not know what Root Beer is, and he'd ALSO not be able to find it no matter how hard he looked for some. And even though they are both immortal, there is no doubt that LeChuck would have been able to find and destroy Davy Jones' heart faster than it would take Davy to wait for Root Beer to be invented. And finally. If root beer WAS invented and Davy Jones KNEW what it was, he doesn't have any on his ship ready to use. AND he can't get off of his own ship and walk on land to get it thanks to his curse.

 **Boomstick: As the battle went on, Davy's hopes of winning... sank.**

Wiz: The winner is the Demon Zombie Ghost Pirate: LeChuck.

[DOORS CLOSE]

 **Boomstick: Next time on death battle…**

[cue: toreador march]

?: Upupupupu~


	6. Episode 6: Monokuma VS Freddy Fazbear

**Boomstick: Man, Do you know what's awesome? Robots!**

Wiz: For once, I totally agree Boomstick. As a man of science, I concur that Robots are downright awesome!

 **Boomstick: Y'know what's even cooler though? KILLER ROBOTS!**

Wiz: Again, I totally agree!

 **Boomstick: But that absolute coolest has to be... KILLER ROBOT BEARS POSSESSED BY THE SOUL OF A DEAD PERSON!**

Wiz: Uhh... a little specific, but I guess?

 **Boomstick: Like Monokuma, the mascot of despair!**

Wiz: And Freddy Fazbear, the mascot of... a pizzeria.

 **Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!**

Wiz: And It's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win, a DEATH BATTLE!

[DOORS CLOSE]

Wiz: Hopes Peak Academy is the most prestigious of all prestigious boarding schools. Located in the exact centre of a huge Japanese city, this school could be seen as the centre of the world to some.

 **Boomstick: Pff! Yeah right. It's just a boarding school! Who gives a shit!**

Wiz: Well, this boarding school is quite different to others. It only accepts students of the highest calibre. Ultimates, if you will. The requirements to get into this school are that you must already be enrolled in high school, and you must be the absolute best at what you do.

 **Boomstick: Then why didn't I get invited?! I'm, like, the ultimate childhood murderer!**

Wiz: No, that would be me. You're the ultimate sleaze-ball.

 **Boomstick: Hmph.**

Wiz: Anyway, This school pretty much guaranteed success in life for anyone enrolled. This led to the school being nicknamed the academy of hope.

 **Boomstick: Though, uhh... that nickname quickly faded when a new principal came to power.**

Wiz: Monokuma.

 **NAME: MONOKUMA**

 **GENDER: Male?**

 **AGE: ?**

 **OCCUPATION: HOPE'S PEAK HEADMASTER**

 **SOFTWARE CREATED BY CHIHIRO FUJISAKI**

 **SCARED OF MICE**

 **Boomstick: Ok. Who the HELL thought making a robot bear the headmaster would be a good idea?!**

Wiz: Well, Monokuma wasn't hired, so to speak. Y'see, two of the ultimates who were enrolled into the school were Junko Enoshima, the Ultimate Fashionista, and her sister Mukuro Ikusaba, the ultimate soldier. But Junko wasn't quite... well... sane. Junko, and to a lesser extent Mukuro too, had an intense obsession with the feeling of despair. They wanted nothing more than to both feel despair and cause despair for others.

 **Boomstick: So, Junko hatched a plan to create the biggest, most tragic, most awful event in human history. Umm... what was this event, Wiz?**

Wiz: Well it was a very twisted and complicated plan involving Reserve course students and social unrest. But aside from that, it's just spoilers for the series which don't really have a bearing on the death battle, so I won't go too in depth. What's important is that Junko pretty much threw the world into an apocalypse of sorts. And, as a final act to remove hope from the world and plunge it into despair, she wiped the memories of her 14 classmates and locked them away in the school.

 **Boomstick: And FINALLY, this is where Monokuma showed up. Created by the Towa Group, using software designed by the ultimate programmer, Chihiro Fujisaki, Who is TOTALLY a girl by the way, Monokuma was the avatar Junko used to communicate with her old classmates to convince them kill each other while hiding her identity.**

Wiz: And the plan, unfortunately, worked rather well. Murders did begin to happen. But, of course, only because Monokuma was convincing enough, and quite frankly threatening enough, to cause this.

 **RAZOR CLAWS**

 **MONOKUMA S PUNCH**

 **MONOKUMA S KICK**

 **CORKSCREW PUNCH, METEOR PUNCH AND BULLET PUNCH**

 **MONOKUMA FLASH**

 **MOTION SENSITIVE BOMB**

 **Boomstick: Finally! Onto the interesting stuff! Despite being a tiny little bear thing. Monokuma can actually be really threatening!**

Wiz: While tons of different Monokuma models have been created, such as Bomb, Siren, Ball and Beast, Today we'll be focusing on the models of Monokuma used in Hopes Peak Academy only. That said, there a few features that all models of Monokuma share.

 **Boomstick: Like their razor sharp claws! Each Monokuma model has three long, sharp claws in it's paws that can stab and slice clean through a person as if they were made of wet paper.**

Wiz: Also, Each Monokuma houses a small but powerful, motion sensitive bomb that can be armed and defused by Monokuma at will.

 **Boomstick: On top of that, this specific Monokuma also has a few special moves. He has various attacks like the Monokuma S Punch and Monokuma S Kick. Powerful strikes that... well... they're just punches and kicks. Damn it, it's like Hercule all over again...**

Wiz: Well, not totally. While the S Punch and the S Kick are just basic attacks, Monokuma also has the Corkscrew punch attack. A hook punch that moves at amazing speed. The Bullet punch, in which he pummels the foe with both fists at a rapid pace before ending the combo with an uppercut.

 **Boomstick: Oh, Sweet! That's much better! He also has the Meteor Punch. An attack powerful enough to launch the target high into the sky. And the Monokuma Flash that... well... Uhh... What is even going on during this attack, Wiz?**

Wiz: Well, It seems to be some kind of energy blast projectile. Though it's unlikely Monokuma can actually use this attack.

 **Boomstick: How so?**

Wiz: Well, Most of Monokuma's attacks come from Dangan Ronpa 2, which takes place entirely inside of a computer simulation. So the Monokuma flash seems sort of unrealistic for Monokuma. Though the rest of his attacks seem pretty realistic from what we see in the real world of Dangan Ronpa 1. We don't really know either way.

 **Boomstick: Weird... also, spoilers!**

 **JUNKO ENOSHIMA AI**

 **OBSESSION WITH DESPAIR**

 **VIOLENT MOOD SWINGS**

 **EXTREMELY CLEVER AND STRATEGIC**

 **SEEMINGLY IMMUNE TO FEAR**

Wiz: Of course, as a robot, Monokuma needs some kind of Controller or Artificial intelligence so that he can function. And that's exactly what he has! In Dangan Ronpa 1, Monokuma was remote controlled by Junko Enoshima. But after her death at the end of the game...

 **Boomstick: MORE SPOILERS!**

Wiz: ...Her mind was recreated as an AI and uploaded into Monokuma. So effectively, Junko lived on through Monokuma. As mentioned before, Junko Enoshima was... slightly insane.

 **Boomstick: That's putting it lightly. Despite her… _appetizing figure~_ Hehehe. She's totally nuts. She has a super freaky fetish for Despair and gets excited at the thought of both causing despair, and feeling despair. She also suffers from violent mood swings.**

Wiz: It's true. Junko actually grows bored of her own personality so quickly that she often forcefully switches her own personality on a whim. She can go from a perky happy school girl, to a moaning emo, to a calm stoic nerd in a matter of minutes. Of course, when controlling Monokuma, she tends to just stay in her Monokuma personality.

 **Boomstick: Welp. Monokuma is insane. So much for his chances of winning.**

Wiz: I wouldn't be so sure. Junko may be insane, but she's very much still a genius. She's able to plan and strategist both long term and on the fly if needed. And, thanks to her despair...

 **Boomstick: Fetish?**

Wiz: ...Obsession. She is pretty much immune to fear. As fear only makes her feel despair, with only excites her and makes her happier.

 **Boomstick: Fuckin' creepy.**

 **FEATS**

 **FOUGHT ON PAR WITH SAKURA OOGAMI**

 **BEAT UP USAMI/MONAMI WITH EASE**

 **CONVINCED SEVERAL HIGH SCHOOLERS TO KILL THEIR FRIENDS**

 **BATTED AWAY RAPID FIRE BASEBALLS FROM A PITCHING MACHINE**

Wiz: Despite being a rather short robot bear, standing at only 2'6'', it's a surprisingly powerful thing.

 **Boomstick: He effortlessly fought on par against Sakura Oogami, the ultimate martial artist, without breaking a sweat. I mean... I know robots can't sweat... but... Oh, You know what I mean!**

Wiz: He also defeated Usami with ease. And Usami is tougher than she looks, considering she took down all of the Monobeasts single-handedly.

 **Boomstick: Not to mention Monokuma's intelligence and deception abilities are impressive too. He managed to convince a handful of seemingly ordinary highschoolers to kill their friends over things like Secrets, Money or Freedom.**

Wiz: On top of that, the bear has some intense reaction speed. He batted away hundreds of rapid fire baseballs from all directions while also rebounding them back at Leon Kuwata.

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **LEFT EYE**

 **VULNERABLE TO HACKING**

 **PURPOSELY LEAVES GAPS IN HIS PLANS**

 **Boomstick: As tough as he sounds, Monokuma still has his unfortunate downsides. I mean, like we mentioned, he's only about 2 foot tall!**

Wiz: And not only that. Despite being part of his intimidating appearance, Monokuma's red left eye is a weakspot. It's far less durable than the rest of him.

 **Boomstick: His systems are also vulnerable to hacking. He can be controlled remotely by outside forces if needed, and if a hacking frequency makes it through his left eye, his motion sensing bomb'll detonate on the spot. BOOM! No more Monokuma.**

Wiz: But that's far from his biggest weakness. Monokuma's worse weakness is that whenever he forms any sort of plan, he will purposely leave small gaps. This is because of his Junko AI. Her AI, being obsessed with despair, will always leave her enemies at least a very slim chance of victory. That way, there is always a chance that she will be the one overcome with despair, rather than her foe.

 **Boomstick: Well, that seems kinda stupid considering how much of a genius that Junko AI is.**

Wiz: It may be stupid, but Monokuma is very much still a genius. And even if he does purposely leave small holes in his plans, it would take another genius to find and exploit them.

 **Boomstick: So... He's insane, smart and deadly... but also kinda dumb at the same time... I still wouldn't wanna be caught in a dark alley with him.**

Monokuma: It doesn't matter how negative something is. Just add "LOL" and it'll automatically become positive!

[DOORS CLOSE]

Wiz: Fear. People can feel fear for many different possible reasons. Though sometimes fear can come from rather... irrational places.

 **Boomstick: Oh hell no. You are NOT implying that those chuck-e-cheese robots didn't terrify you as a child, are you?**

Wiz: what? Why would I be scared of those?

 **Boomstick: Don't pretend you weren't! I've seen the videos!**

Wiz: ...Ahem! Anyway... even the most irrational fears can become rational in the right context.

 **Boomstick: Such as creepy fuckin' animatronics becoming possessed by evil and vengeful spirits.**

Wiz: Specifically, the leader of these robots. Freddy Fazbear.

 **NAME: FREDDY FAZBEAR**

 **GENDER: ?**

 **AGE: ?**

 **OCCUPATION: PIZZERIA ENTERTAINMENT**

 **INTENSE HATRED FOR SECURITY GUARDS**

 **ALWAYS UP FOR A HARDCORE NIGHT OF DEBAUCHERY**

Wiz: Now, before we go any further, I think it's important to note that due to the nature of the Five Nights at Freddy's series, a storyline is hard to piece together. So we'll be giving a summary of the story given by Matpat of Game Theory fame. However, attacks, abilities and stats will only be taken from the actual official games.

 **Boomstick: The story starts way back in Fredbear Family diner, a family restaurant known for it's animatronic suits. But the place decided to permanently close it's doors after it's brand was tainted by some purple dude who decided to kill a child there.**

Wiz: A few years later, Fredbears was bought up by another company and re-branded into Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. But what the owners didn't know is that the purple guy who killed that first kid had returned and taken a job as a security guard. And it seemed that he'd taken a liking to killing kids. He'd dress up in a springlock Bonnie suit and lure the children into the back room, where he'd then kill them.

 **Boomstick: I, uhh... I don't really have many jokes to make about that...**

Wiz: But this is where things get weird. The spirit of the first dead child still haunted the world after possessing a marionette. And when it discovered that it's killer had struck again, he tried his best to bring the children back to life. And by stuffing the dead children into the animatronic suits...

 **Boomstick: Probably with the help of some ghostly curses or some shit**

Wiz: The children returned to life within the animatronics.

 **Boomstick: But they were very vengeful. From that day on, they would perform as usual during the day, but when night time came, they would hunt down and kill any security guard, in hopes of stopping them from killing anyone else. And Freddy in particular has a very diverse set of abilities!**

 **JUMPSCARE**

 **MIC TOSS**

 **PIZZA WHEEL**

 **BIRTHDAY**

 **GLOOM SONG**

 **ESC KEY**

Wiz: Freddy's most well known ability is the Jumpscare.

*A clip of the FNAF 1 Freddy jumpscare plays*

 **Boomstick: GAH! HOLY SHIT!**

Wiz: *snickering*

 **Boomstick: Hey! Shut up! It's not funny!**

Wiz: I beg to differ! The jumpscare ability is a shock attack that works by leaping out in front of the target and letting loose a loud screech. And, In Fnaf World, if even stuns foes briefly! And while Freddy cannot use Jumpscare in Fnafworld, he CAN use it in the other games, so it makes sense he'd still have access to the attack.

 **Boomstick: He also has Mic Toss, where he hurls his microphone at the target for a heavy attack. And it even bounces right back to his hand afterwards, like Captain America's shield!**

Wiz: Pizza Wheel summons a large group of Pizzas to roll over and slam into foes.

 **Boomstick: The hell kind of pizzas must they be to cause damage to people just by rolling into them?!**

Wiz: Birthday boosts Freddy's Attack, defence and speed temporarily too, allowing him to buff up his power while in a fight.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, that could prove helpful! Anyway, moving on...**

Wiz: No, wait. We're not done with Freddy's attacks.

 **Boomstick: Huh?**

Wiz: Despite being two separate selectable characters in Fnaf world, Withered Freddy is, in fact, a future version of Regular Freddy. Meaning all of Withered Freddy's attacks must have been learnt by regular Freddy at some point.

 **Boomstick: Huh. Interesting. Well in that case, Withered Freddy has two additional attacks. Gloom Song is a temporary debuff to the enemy's attacking strength. And the other attack is probably his most dangerous. The... Eesk key..?**

Wiz: No, Boomstick. That says Escape Key.

 **Boomstick: Uhh... No Wiz. That CLEARLY says Essk Key. See? E-S-C.**

Wiz: Yeah, short for escape. Y'know, like the keyboard key.

 **Boomstick: O-oh... uhh...**

Wiz: Aaaanyway, the Escape key attack, if successful, will instantly kill all enemies in one hit. Though it has a VERY low success rate.

 **Boomstick: Even so, it makes Freddy quite a bit more threatening that he already was!**

 **CHILD'S SOUL**

 **VENGEFUL AND VIOLENT**

 **NOT TOO BRIGHT**

 **CREATIVE AND SNEAKY**

 **INTENSE HATRED FOR ANYONE SIMILAR TO THEIR KILLER**

Wiz: Unlike most robots, Freddy is neither remote controlled nor is he controlled by an AI. He is instead controlled by the spirit of a dead child, as we discussed earlier. As such, Freddy's mind is very childish.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, that is to say that Freddy holds grudges. If you piss him off, he'll be sure to come after you and anyone remotely similar to you.**

Wiz: It's true. Freddy has a particular hatred for security guards, since his killer was one. And that connection alone is enough to make Freddy want to kill all security guards who wonder into the Fazbear Pizzeria.

 **Boomstick: And as violently as possible!**

Wiz: His childish mind also makes him very creative in terms of plans and plots. But on the same coin, it means that his overall intelligence is pretty low. While there is no real way to know the IQ of the child inhabiting Freddy's body, he has never shown much in the way of intelligence in any of his appearances.

 **FEATS**

 **MOVES SILENTLY**

 **KILLED PHONE GUY**

 **POSSIBLY HELPED DEFEAT MANY FNAF WORLD BOSSES**

 **CAN CRUSH AN ADULT MALE INSIDE OF A SPARE FREDDY SUIT**

 **Boomstick: Regardless of how low his intelligence may be, Freddy is still pretty clever when it comes to scaring people. Despite being a large metal bear, he can somehow move with perfect silence to sneak up on guards.**

Wiz: He also has somewhat of a kill count. Not only could be possibly be used in many of the boss fights in Fnafworld, including the final fight against Scott Cawthon, but he also had a hand in the death of his own killer, the purple guy.

 **Boomstick: And, while they are technically non-canon, we can't leave out the death screens in the Fnaf games, in which Freddy kills the player character by shoving their entire body inside of a spare animatronic suit, shredding their entire body, including flash and bones alike, against the metal inside.**

Wiz: Just think for a moment how much strength that must take, to pick up a still alive adult male and shove his entire body into something that it would clearly NEVER fit inside of.

 **Boomstick: Ok, that's pretty tough, I'll admit. But I could still do that easily. No problem!**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **LITTLE FIGHTING EXPERIENCE**

 **PREFERS SCARING VICTIMS**

 **ESC KEY IS HEAVILY UNRELIABLE**

Wiz: Suuuuure you could. Anyway, as strong as Freddy may be, that doesn't change the fact that he has the mind of a child and very little fighting experience.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, Freddy has never really had much in the way of a challenge when hunting security guards. He prefers sneaking around in the shadows silently and scaring his victims, making sure they spend their last moments in terror and maybe even make them slip up while panicking... Wait a sec...**

Wiz: What is it?

 **Boomstick: He moves silently, sneaks around in the shadows and scares his victims before attacking...**

Wiz: ...Don't even think about going there...

 **Boomstick: HE'S BATMAN!**

Wiz: Ugh. No. They're nothing alike!

 **Boomstick: Fine... BATBEAR!**

Wiz: NO!

 **Boomstick: Ugh. You're no fun!**

*Power runs out in the office. Mike Schmidt looks around the room wildly at the open doors when Freddy's face lights up at the left office door.*

*Cue Toreador March*

[DOORS CLOSE]

Wiz: Alright, the Combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all

 **Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLLLLE!**

It was pitch black. In fact, it was the very middle of the night. But despite that, screams and roars echoed all around. People of all ages ran through the city wearing Monokuma helmets, attacking others and destroying whatever was in their way. The tragedy seemed to be in full effect around here. Among the madness, a single Monokuma wandered through the chaos safely. He made his way away from all of the havoc and made his way towards a nearby, abandoned building.

"Hmm... Yeah, this could work!" Monokuma said happily to himself before walking up to the building and crawling through a small hole in the bottom of the door. Monokuma had been looking for a place he could set up his next Killing Game. He wasn't totally sure about using a pizzeria like this, but it could possibly work. He'd need to see some other possible locations first. He continued wondering the hallways, humming his theme song obnoxiously. "Let's see... I could put the monomono machine right there... I could build a couple more floors with some dorms... Put up a couple more security cameras..." But at the very moment those last two words left his mouth, something echoed out around him.

*Laughter*

Monokuma stopped what he was doing, looking around in the darkness. "Wh-what? What was that? Who's there?" He looked scared for just a split second, but it was quickly replaced by aggression as he brought out his claws. "You think you can scare me? Playing pranks on the headmaster is against the rules, y'know. Don't make me have'ta punish you!" Just for a split second, he thought he saw something in the shadows. "Alright, you brought this upon yourself!"

 **FIGHT**

Monokuma span on the spot and pointed at the shadows, where he saw the movement. "Gotcha, bitch!" he began waddling over towards the shadow and gave a slow swing of his claws. "Shing!" He swiped into the shadows but missed whatever was there. It had gone. That same laughing echoed out again. "Hmph! You think you're SOOOO tough, huh? Why don't ya face me like a man!" Monokuma turned around and glared at the darkness and ran forward again, swinging his claws around wildly. "YAAAAA!" He screamed out. This time though, he felt his claws hit something! No, wait. It was just a wall. "Grr..."

Suddenly, something came flying out of the darkness and smacked into the back of Monokuma's head. A microphone. "Gah! Hey!" The mic bounced right off of Monokuma and flew backwards the direction it came from. Monokuma instantly turned on the spot and his fist began to vibrate lightly. "CORKSCREW PUNCH!" He yelled out and thrust his fist out in the direction the microphone was flying. He suddenly dashed forwards into the dark and finally hit his target. A large brown robot bear. The punch caused Freddy to stagger backwards a little. "So you finally show yourself. It's too bad you're a bear. I feel bad punishing my own brethren..." Monokuma said.

Suddenly, Freddy lunged forward and let out an ear melting screech. Monokuma froze up all of a sudden, against his will. "W-what the... HEY! I can't move!" Freddy raised his arm and swung down, smacking Monokuma across the face with his mic. Monokuma fell to the ground in a lump before quickly hopping back up once the stun had worn off. "Ok! Now you're DEFINITELY getting punished! Monokuma KICK!" He yelled out. Without another word, He swung his leg up like lighting and smashed it right against Freddy's face, sending him reeling backwards again.

Freddy staggered backwards, rubbing his nose, before glaring at Monokuma. He swung his microphone again, but this time didn't throw it. Rather, a huge collection of pizza's suddenly rolled right past Freddy and towards Monokuma. Monokuma glared right back and his long claws slipped out of his paws again. "Pizza party, Huh? No thanks. I'm not HUNGRY!" He yelled out angrily. He began slashing and slicing as they approached. Many pizzas were immediately torn in half. Other were simply sent flying away. A few did manage to get through and slam into Monokuma though.

While Monokuma was busy with the Pizzas, Freddy raised his arms up, and confetti showered down on him. Some children's cheers rang out from... somewhere. Freddy took the time to use Birthday and buff up his stats. He then charged forward, letting out another loud screech. Monokuma turned just in time to see Freddy's foot swing down and slam into him, Sending Monokuma hurling across the room. "Owowowowow! Bad Bear!"

Monokuma began standing up once again. Freddy didn't expect the little bear to still be able to get up so easily. He let out another screech and suddenly, reality around them began glitching out and fading all around. It was the Esc Key attack. Monokuma looked around nervously as the attack played out but... nothing happened and reality went back to normal. "Huh? What was that all about? You just tryin' to scare me?" Freddy charged again, not letting Monokuma taunt him. But Monokuma just grinned. He began charging towards Freddy, ready to give another corkscrew punch.

Freddy could fell his birthday buff wearing off. He screamed out into his microphone and an odd melody echoed through the pizzeria. Monokuma ignored the song and slammed his fist into Freddy... though the attack didn't seem to affect Freddy nearly as it did before. It was the gloom song. Freddy had lowered Monokuma's offensive capabilities. With Monokuma right in front of him, Freddy opened his mouth and lunched down, clamping his jaws on Monokuma's forehead. Or at least, he tried to. Monokuma had already dodged out of the way. His attack had been lowered, but not his speed.

"Woah, Woah, Woah! Easy there, Big guy. I don't swing that way... often. Upupupu!" Monokuma taunted, while laughing. Freddy raised his arm again and threw out his microphone and it smacked clean onto Monokuma's red left eye. "GAH!" Monokuma yelled out in pain as the microphone returned to Freddy's hand. Monokuma glared at Freddy, his red eye now cracked and glowing more violently. "Alright, now you're PISSIN' me off!"

Feeling his strength returning, he suddenly ran right up to Freddy. "Monokuma Bullet Punch!" He yelled out. Before Freddy had a chance to respond, he found himself being bombarded by hundreds of rapid punches. Freddy was unable to retaliate at all and was just beat around for a good few seconds, before Monokuma finally stopped the assault and swung his right paw up. He slammed it against Freddy as an upper cut, knocking Freddy into the air a little. Freddy landed in a nearby trash can.

"Upupupupu! Hehe! HAHAHAHA!" Monokuma laughed out happily. Freddy slowly dragged himself up and out of the trashcan, sparking a little. He didn't have much left to try on Monokuma. He looked over at the laughing bear and charged one last time, trying the Escape key attack. Reality glitched out once again and suddenly... Monokuma faded away! Freddy stopped and let out a roar, assuming the escape key had killed Monokuma. He then fell down onto his knee sparking. That bullet punch really did a number on him, it seemed.

"...Hmm? What's this? What, attacking my after image technique? What a dumb bear!" Called out Monokuma. Freddy turned his head to see Monokuma standing behind him, grinning. "I think we're just about done here! Let's give it everything we've got! IIIIIIT'S PUNISHMENT TIME!"

Freddy began to stand and turn around while Monokuma dashed forward, his paw glowing brightly. Once Freddy was fully turned around he began to use the Escape key one final time... but...

"MONOKUMA METEOR PUNCH!" Monokuma was already right next to him. He leapt up with his glowing paw and slammed it into Freddy's chin. And with that hit, Freddy's head was suddenly ripped from his neck and shot upwards from the force of the punch. It smashed through the ceiling of the pizzeria and flew right off. Up and up and up... until it eventually began to slow down... once it was in orbit...

Freddy's headless body stood there for a moment as Monokuma began walking away. "Well, that was exciting~ But not worth it at all. This place sucks. I'm gonna hold my next killing game somewhere else." Then Freddy's lifeless body fell to the ground in a heap, sparking and leaking motor oil.

[DOORS CLOSE]

 **K.O.**

Monokuma charges up energy and multiple Japanese characters (as in, Japanese writing) flash over him. He then fires a large energy blast, the Monokuma flash, at what was left of Freddy's body, turning it into scrap metal. He brought out his claws again and began rapidly slashing at what was left of Freddy. A dust cloud formed around them and once it finally cleared, Monokuma had created a statue of himself out of the scrap metal. Then he began laughing manically.

 **Boomstick: Ahh. Corporal Punishment. It always sets the troublemakers straight.**

Wiz: While Freddy towers above Monokuma, and has much more variety in terms of attacks, there was very little way he could actually win this fight.

 **Boomstick: Yeah. The only thing he really had going for him was his stealth, which Monokuma had no real way to deal with. But Monokuma just demolished Freddy in every other category.**

Wiz: First, when it comes to strength, Freddy may have the power to shred a full grown man's entire body with ease, Monokuma was capable of fighting hand to hand with Sakura Oogami, the Ultimate martial artist. And he didn't have any trouble at all. And let's not forget that the man Freddy shoves into a suit is likely stun-locked due to being jumpscared moments beforehand. So he wasn't even struggling.

 **Boomstick: And the Escape key was a no-go as well. Thanks to a little data-mining by the guys over at the Fnaf Technical Subreddit, we discovered the percentage of Esc Key actually working was just barely above a 1% chance. And it was even less against bosses and tough enemies, like Monokuma.**

Wiz: Also, Monokuma's left eye may have been a weakspot, but Freddy had no real way to exploit that. He couldn't get a hacking frequency through it, since he has no hacking abilities. And even his microphone would have just been too big to get inside the eye.

 **Boomstick: The only object shown to actually be the right size to get into Monokuma's eye is a pair of Scissors. And the microphone is quite a bit bigger than that. So sure, it could crack the outer glass, but it wouldn't be able to cause any real damage.**

Wiz: As for speed, Freddy has no real feats to show for speed. He can move pretty fast if you open and close the camera feed quickly, but aside from that, his kinda bulky and slow. And his speed stat in Fnafworld determines how often he can use attacks, rather than his movement speed.

 **Boomstick: Monokuma, on the other hand, is INSANELY fast. During the first murder investigation of Dangan Ronpa 2, he was able to use the after image technique to fool Hajime Hinata and Nagito Komaeda into talking to him when he wasn't there. He even claimed he could play soccer by himself in this way.**

Wiz: What's that you say? "But Dangan Ronpa 2 is all just a computer simulation!" True. But if we take a look at Leon Kuwada's execution from the first game, we can see him bat away rapid fire baseballs with ease. A professional pitching machine fires baseballs at around 100mph or more. And given the rate we see in the execution, we can assume this is machine gun rate of fire, which could be anywhere from 600 rounds per minute to 1,200 rounds per minute. Even if we low-ball this to 600 rounds per minute, that would mean Monokuma would be hitting 10 baseballs, going at 100 miles an hour each, in only 1 second. And he was very clearly hitting each ball individually, so that would include the wind up and the swing!

 **Boomstick: That is some insane speed!**

Wiz: Exactly. With that kind of speed backing his strikes, there was little chance for Freddy to survive. And of course, let's not forget that Freddy has never actually canonically killed... well... anyone. In Fnafworld, every character is completely optional to use. Including Freddy. There is no set canon for which animatronics partake in any of the fights. On top of that, none of the endings of Fnafworld have been confirmed or deconfirmed as canon. So he may not have even fought Scott Cawthorn at all! Also, the player deaths in the main Fnaf games are non-canon, and the purple guy accidentally killed himself by getting into a wet springlock suit.

 **Boomstick: And he only did that because the animatronics scared him. And that wouldn't work on Monokuma either.**

Wiz: Exactly. The Junko AI inside of Monokuma would feel despair if Freddy tried to scare them. And giving Junko despair would just make her happy and encourage her further. Long story short, Freddy just didn't have anything going for him.

 **Boomstick: Freddy just couldn't BEAR the despair.**

Wiz: The winner is Monokuma

[DOORS CLOSE]

 **Boomstick: Next time on death battle…**

?1: These Action figures are useless! My 'ed doesn' wobble like that!

?2: It does, D. Look! *He grabs the first person and forcefully wobbles him around*

?3: Russ! Russ! Do it again!

?2: *He does it again*

?4: *Childish laughing*

 **Boomstick: OH SWEET! A Battle royale!**


	7. Episode 7: The Gorillaz Battle Royale

**Boomstick: Hey, Wiz? What's your favourite kind of music?**

Wiz: Huh... I guess I like rock, and techno. Maybe a little mixed together. In fact, I really like the band we're covering today! A virtual band!

 **Boomstick: A virtual band? Like... Vocaloids?**

Wiz: Vocaloids? Oh GOD no. The Gorillaz!

 **Boomstick: Murdoc. The Band leader and Bass Player.**

Wiz: 2-D. The Band front man and lead vocals.

 **Boomstick: Noodle. The young and eccentric lead guitarist.**

Wiz: And Russel. All around musical genius and Band Drummer.

 **Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.**

Wiz: And It's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle!

[Doors Close]

Cue - Stylo Instrumental

Wiz: All bands have to start somewhere. And the Gorillaz are no exception. Despite becoming a world famous band, the Gorillaz started off as nothing more than a dream.

 **Boomstick: A dream in the eye of a young boy with a hatred of his father, pitiful guitar skills and an allegiance to the dark lord himself, Satan.**

Wiz: This boy, was Murdoc Niccals.

 **Boomstick: Fun fact! While writing the script for this episode, my computer kept trying to auto-correct Niccals into Satanical. Fitting, right?**

 **NAME: MURDOC ALPHONCE NICCALS**

 **AGE WHEN BAND WAS FORMED: 32**

 **CURRENT AGE: 50**

 **COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: ENGLAND**

 **HEIGHT: 5 FOOT 7**

 **BAND POSITION: LEADER AND BASE GUITARIST**

 **MOST INFLUENCED ALBUM: PLASTIC BEACH**

Wiz: Born in a sanatorium and abandoned by his parents not long after, Murdoc was left on the doorstep of one Jacob Sebastian Niccals. Jacob took the boy in as his son, but was a dreadful father. He was an aggressive drunk who verbally and physically assaulted both Murdoc, and his biological son Hannibal too. On top of that, he forced Murdoc to take part in humiliating talent shows in order to make money to fuel his alcohol supply.

 **Boomstick: Wait, are we still talking about Murdoc's dad? Or my dad?**

Wiz: These stage shows made Murdoc come to the decision that he would one day become a musician. He would craft a band and take to the stage under his own direction. And no one else would ever tell him what to do.

 **Boomstick: And, as a bonus, he could get rich and vandalize his father's grave repeatedly. For the first few years of the Gorillaz, his band didn't really go anywhere. His first thought was that this had to be due to his crappy band mates, and decide to fire them and hire new guys, who we'll get to in a moment.**

Wiz: But not long after, he decided that he needed a boost up. So he summoned the devil himself, and sold his soul for a bass guitar that would make any song of his an immediate hit.

 **Boomstick: And damn, did it work! The Gorillaz suddenly began to grow very popular very quickly and Murdoc was right at the lead.**

Wiz: Of course, Murdoc isn't exactly the nicest person. And in the process of climbing to the top, he made a lot of enemies. Luckily, He has his ways of dealing with such things.

 **ABILITIES**

 **CYBORG NOODLE**

 **BEST BASS GUITAR IN EXISTENCE**

 **1969 CHEVROLET CAMARO**

 **INTELLIGENT AND MANIPULATIVE**

 **Boomstick: Hell yeah he does! so let's start out with the smaller stuff and work his way up. First up is his bass guitar that we mentioned earlier. Outside of making his songs all hits, it doesn't do much else.**

Wiz: But it IS unbreakable. So it could make a fairly decent melee weapon. Next up is his car, Stylo.

 **Boomstick: Stylo, is a 1969 Chevrolet Camaro. It rocks a V8 engine and can get from 0 to 60mph in just barely over 5 seconds. It also comes fitted with a nitro booster Murdoc installed himself AND it can turn into a shark submarine!**

Wiz: Then there is Murdoc's most impressive weapon. Cyborg Noodle. Created though a mix of cloning Noodle and building a robotic version of her, Murdoc created this mechanical beast as his bodyguard. She has a huge stash of weapons, including shotguns, pistols, machine guns and swords too.

 **Boomstick: Absolutely beautiful! I'd love a killer robo bodyguard!**

Wiz: Despite how impressive Cyborg Noodle is, though, It's not Murdoc's most impressive ability. That would be his brain. Despite acting rather stupid and childish on occasion, Murdoc is an absolute genius. And not just in the traditional sense.

 **Boomstick: Sure, he managed to build Cyborg Noodle, but his real intelligence comes from lying to and manipulating his foes. Most of his enemies simply are never able to track him down or, when they DO track him down, he tricks them into letting him escape again. Or, on occasion, killing themselves.**

Wiz: Like the time his arch nemesis Jimmy Manson, wanted to get back at Murdoc for not letting him join the Gorillaz. But Murdoc told Jimmy that he would let Jimmy join if he helped him kill Noodle. Of course, Murdoc was lying. Noodle was a key part of his band. But, despite hating Murdoc's guts, Jimmy fell for it hook line and sinker. But the plan was sabotaged by Murdoc, leading Noodle to survive and Jimmy to die instead.

 **Boomstick: Savage. I like it!**

 **FEATS**

 **HAD HIS NOSE BROKEN 8 DIFFERENT TIMES**

 **SURVIVES CAR CRASHES CONSTANTLY**

 **BUILT CYBORG NOODLE BY HIMSELF**

 **FOUGHT HIS WAY THROUGH HELL AND BACK**

Wiz: Despite being an ordinary human. Murdoc has managed to survive some really intense stuff. He's had his nose broken in 8 ways. Once by Tony Chopper, twice by his own brother, and five times by Russel, after he found Murdoc making out with 2-D's girlfriend.

 **Boomstick: Let's not forget that he's an absolutely fuckin' awful driver. He's constantly going way to fast and trying to impress girls, which leads to him crashing. All the time. ALL. THE. TIME.**

Wiz: But despite that, he always walks away from the crash more or less totally unharmed. Even when his passenger is put into a coma. And, of course, as mentioned before. He was smart enough to half clone, half build his own version of Noodle.

 **Boomstick: We're forgetting the most important part, Wiz. The time he fought his way through hell!**

Wiz: That's right, Boomstick. When the time finally came for Murdoc to pay up and give his soul to the devil... well... he didn't.

 **Boomstick: Needless to say, Ol' Beelzebub wasn't to happy and came up from hell to collect. And he took Noodle as a down payment.**

Wiz: While it isn't exactly known what happened down there, we DO know that both Murdoc and Noodle eventually emerged from Hell unharmed.

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **PREFERS OUT THINKING HIS FOES, RATHER THAN BRUTE FORCE**

 **EXTREMELY COCKY AND VAIN**

 **CYBORG NOODLE IS PRONE TO MALFUNCTIONING**

 **CROTCH SHOTS**

Wiz: Despite all this, Murdoc is STILL never shown much aptitude in fighting. He's a coward who hides behind his intelligence to avoid getting hurt.

 **Boomstick: And sometimes he just straight up hides. He spent a couple years hanging out in a basement in while hosting a radio shows that was supposedly being broadcast from Hawaii.**

Wiz: Despite this lack of fighting skills, he acts tough and full of himself all the time. Often overselling his own abilities and putting him in bad spots that he has no business being in.

 **Boomstick: And, despite being smart enough to create cyborg noodle... well... She's not the most stable cyborg ever made. Just a single bullet to the head can cause her to drain energy much faster.**

Wiz: Not to mention that enough damage will cause her to malfunction and try to kill Murdoc himself.

 **Boomstick: Wait, WHAT?!**

Wiz: I don't get it either. It's a huge design flaw. This is what the self destruct feature is for, people! Don't leave it out! Ahem... Murdoc is a man who chased his dreams with a vengeance until he finally managed to grab a hold of them. And anyone with that amount of determination is a force to be reckoned with.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, especially when they cheat and ask the Devil for help.**

Murdoc: "Always be wary of people who use quotes"... Uhh... I don't know who said that…

[Doors Close]

Cue - 19-2000 Instrumental

Wiz: After firing his original band mates, Murdoc began looking for replacements. Of course course he couldn't get just any old people in his bad. They needed to be perfect.

 **Boomstick: Whoever he found to be his lead singer would need to have the proper appearance and personality of a true rock star, in addition to being a competent singer.**

Wiz: Or at least just the appearance part. And it wasn't long at all before he found the perfect Candidate. 2-D.

 **NAME: STUART POT**

 **AGE WHEN BAND WAS FORMED: 20**

 **CURRENT AGE: 38**

 **COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: ENGLAND**

 **HEIGHT: 6 FOOT 2**

 **BAND POSITION: LEAD SINGER AND FRONT MAN**

 **MOST INFLUENCED ALBUM: THE FALL**

Wiz: Born in Hertfordshire and raised in Crawley, Stuart Pot was an ordinary kid. Albeit a little dumb.

 **Boomstick: And one day he fell out of a tree too. And the head injury he got from that didn't help him at all in terms of smartitude. Though it did make his hair colour switch from Black to Blue for some reason.**

Wiz: Stuart's mental deficiency led to him never doing to well in school. Not for a lack of trying. More due to a lack of ability

 **Boomstick: Despite being dumber than a sack of potatoes, Stuart was a kind guy who loved nothing more than rocking out to his favourite musicians. And this love of music was the one thing that gave him a purpose in life.**

Wiz: With awful school grades and no interest in higher education, Stuart got a job working at Uncle Norm's Organ Emporium. And it was a fairly good way for his life to go... until Murdoc showed up.

 **Boomstick: After firing his old band mates, Murdoc decided the best way to get some replacements was to upgrade his equipment. So he hopped into his car and decided to ram-raid Uncle Norm's Organ Emporium to steal some synths.**

Wiz: However, he overestimated the power of the crash and ended up ramming straight into Stuart, giving an 8-ball fracture to Stuart's left eye and putting the poor guy into a coma.

 **Boomstick: An 8-ball fracture?**

Wiz: Otherwise known as Hyphema, an 8-ball fracture is when the eye is slit open a little, causing blood to pool into the front of the eye and make the eye appear to be a pure black or pure red colour.

 **Boomstick: That sounds badass... also painful.**

Wiz: Murdoc didn't manage to get away from this though and was sentenced to 30,000 hours of community service, including taking care of the Comatose Stuart.

 **Boomstick: Which was not a very good move. I mean, If someone shot you, would YOU want them taking care of you in the hospital after that?**

Wiz: Regardless, Murdoc slipped the comatose Stuart out of the hospital and drove around, using him to impress girls... only to crash his car again. Luckily this woke him up from his coma... but it also fractured his right eye too. Leaving him with two permanently pitch black eyes.

 **Boomstick: Y'know, Except when the artists decide to stylize him with white eyes.**

Wiz: Murdoc was so impressed by Stuart's new look that he hired him for his band on the spot and gave him the nickname 2-D, after his eyes which looked like 2 dents in his face.

 **Boomstick: Ok! Enough backstory. We need to move onto his fighting stuff already!**

Wiz: Well... about that...

 **ABILITIES**

 **INCREDIBLE SINGER**

 **WIELDS KNIVES**

 **...THAT'S ABOUT IT**

 **Boomstick: Let's check the notes and... uhh... wait what?**

Wiz: That's right...2-D has... nothing in terms of fighting.

 **Boomstick: Well... he used knives once, right?**

Wiz: True... but he's never used them in combat.

 **Boomstick: Something tells me this doesn't bode well for Stuart... What about feats! Does he have any feats going for him?**

 **FEATS**

 **SURVIVED TWO CAR CRASHES (BOTH CAUSED BY MURDOC)**

 **CAN SOMEHOW SEE OUT OF HIS EYES, DESPITE THE 8-BALL FRACTURES**

Wiz: Well.. he survived two car crashes. But both of them caused permanent injuries to his brain and eyes. And, despite being completely pooled with blood, 2-D CAN see out of his eyes somehow.

 **Boomstick: Ok, and?**

Wiz: ...That's about it for feats too.

 **Boomstick: Oh geez...**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **MENTALLY HANDICAPPED**

 **NAIVE AND FAR TOO TRUSTING**

 **NO COMBAT SKILLS WHAT SO EVER**

 **SCARED OF WHALES**

Wiz: Weaknesses, on the other hand, are bountiful.

 **Boomstick: Welp. RIP 2-D.**

Wiz: Falling from a tree at a young age, as well as both car crashes have cause major brain damage and left poor 2-D mentally handicapped. He's a nervous wreck most of the time and is terrified of anything that tries to scare him really.

 **Boomstick: He was a good man. And provided the world with so much music and badass album covers.**

Wiz: And he's especially scared of whales for some reason. On top of all that, he's incredibly naive and trusting. He would follow Murdoc to the ends of the earth for nothing in return and has been kidnapped by the satanist far too many times.

 **Boomstick: So long story short..?**

Wiz: Sorry, 2-D. But you don't stand a chance.

2-D: Uh Hello, I'm 2D, I'm the singer, and I play the pianos and I need a toilet . Hello, mum, you listening to the radio? Uh, Mom? I just got a bloo-RAY!

[Doors Close]

Cue - Dare Instrumental

Wiz: After Murdoc had hired 2-D and Russel...

 **Boomstick: And don't worry. We'll be getting to Russel right after this.**

Wiz: ...The new Gorillaz was quickly coming together. They had even managed to snag a guitarist in 2-D's new girlfriend. A woman by the name of Paula Cracker. Buuuut, that didn't last too long.

 **Boomstick: Murdoc, being the bastard that he is, seduced Paula and Russel caught them making out. After Russel broke Murdoc's nose five times and told 2-D what had happened, Paula was out of the bad very soon after. Unfortunately, this left the Gorillaz without a guitarist.**

Wiz: That is until a mysterious FedEx crate showed up a couple of days later. Upon inspecting it, the crate burst open to reveal a preteen Asian girl wielding a guitar. She immediately performed an intense guitar solo before loudly proclaiming the word Noodle.

 **Boomstick: And since that seemed to be all she could say, that's what they decided to call their new guitarist.**

 **NAME: UNKNOWN (GOES BY NOODLE)**

 **AGE WHEN BAND WAS FORMED: 8**

 **CURRENT AGE: 25**

 **COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: JAPAN**

 **HEIGHT: ?**

 **BAND POSITION: LEAD GUITARIST AND BACKUP VOCALS**

 **MOST INFLUENCED ALBUM: DEMON DAYS**

Wiz: Born in Osaka, this girl had a very... odd life.

 **Boomstick: For one, no one even knows her name. Including herself!**

Wiz: While that IS true, I was referring to how she, along with 22 other children, were taken from their families at a very young age to take part in a secret government project to create the ultimate super soldiers for their army.

 **Boomstick: Oh yeah, that. Well, I mean. That's kinda odd, I guess...**

Wiz: This project went on for a couple of years, but eventually, the Japanese government decided that the project was just too unethical and dangerous and they had to scrap the project.

 **Boomstick: And, to avoid any scandal getting out and to cover their tracks, they ordered that all 23 children be terminated.**

Wiz: Mr. Kyuzo, the lead scientist on the project, was given the order to kill, and he did so, killing 22 of the 23 children. But when it came to Noodle's turn, Kyuzo found himself too emotionally attached to the girl. So he faked her death himself, and hypnotized her into forgetting all of her super soldier training. And, finally, as the last step of his plan, he shipped her off to England to escape the eye of the Japanese government.

 **Boomstick: And that was how she met Murdoc and the others. And all of her badass super soldier shit was locked away in the back of her mind until she were to here a very specific codeword. And eventually... she heard it. "Ocean Bacon."**

 **ABILITIES**

 **INSANE GUITAR SKILLS**

 **LARGE WEAPONRY COLLECTION: MACHINE GUNS, SWORDS, ECT.**

 **CAN SPEAK EVERY LANGUAGE KNOWN TO MAN**

 **TRAINED AS A CHILD SUPER SOLIDER**

Wiz: that's not to say her abilities were gone completely while she was hypnotized. They were just locked away subconsciously. And hearing the phrase simply let her access this part of her mind completely.

 **Boomstick: And this part of her mind is fuckin' badass! Aside from being incredibly skilled with a guitar, but she can also speak and understand every language known to man.**

Wiz: That's not the limit to her brain power though. Thanks to the super soldier training she was put through, the time it takes her to think and process images has been trained to peak-human levels. As well as her muscles, giving her strength and speed FAR above the average human.

 **Boomstick: More importantly though, She's been trained to assemble and use every weapon known to humanity with precision and ease. Since she remembered this information, she gained a large collection or weapons including swords, guns, grenades... *sigh*... And Nunchucks.**

Wiz: Overall, though, she's most comfortable with guns and swords.

 **FEATS**

 **LEAPT 20 FOOT INTO THE AIR WHEN SHE WAS 8**

 **BEAT UP RUSSEL WITH EASE WHEN SHE WAS 10**

 **SHOT DOWN A FIGHTER PLANE WITH A SUBMACHINEGUN**

 **KILLED CYBORG NOODLE**

 **Boomstick: Even when she was an 8 year old amnesiac, Noodle was capable of some crazy shit. When she was 8, the first thing she did upon arriving at Kong Studios was leap 20 foot into the air while playing the guitar.**

Wiz: Keep in mind that the world record for a standing vertical jump is 64 inches off the ground, just over 5 foot. And Noodle, when she was still a little girl, could beat that 4 times that record with ease!

 **Boomstick: Only 2 years later, she was able to beat Russel up while play fighting with him, flipping his entire body over with absolute ease.**

Wiz: Her skills only improved with age too. Once she turned 20 (she had her memories back by this point), she was capable of shooting the pilot of a fighter jet with a basic submachine gun from the deck of a cruise ship, killing him in one shot and downing the plane.

 **Boomstick: But not only that, she was able to beat and kill Cyborg Noodle in a sword duel. And keep in mind that cyborg noodle has all the same skills as the original Noodle!**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **CAN BE CHILDISH AND PETTY**

 **SHORT TEMPER**

 **NO DEFENSIVE ABILITIES**

Wiz: Despite all her training, it's important to note that the super soldier program was closed down before it was completed. As such, Noodle was never given Emotional training. As such, she has trouble controlling both her childish immature tendencies, and her short temper. Both can easily get the best of her.

 **Boomstick: And let's not forget that she doesn't really have much in the way of defensive feats, So there is no real way to determine how much punishment she can actually take.**

Wiz: With all that said, Noodle is a beast. And even though she's the youngest of the Gorillaz, she's easily the most experienced fighter of the group.

 **Boomstick: But will it be enough to take down Murdoc's manipulative ways? And what about Russel, who we've not even touched on yet?**

Wiz: Well let's find out...

Noodle: Sometimes, I wish our studio would burn down, because, it's so infested, and evil, and diseased, hai.

[Doors Close]

Cue - Clint Eastwood Instrumental

Wiz: After recruiting 2-D, but before finding Noodle, Murdoc needed a drummer for his new band.

 **Boomstick: But, being the picky bastard he is, he wasn't going to settle for just ANY plain old drummer. He needed the best.**

Wiz: But it turns out he didn't need to wait long. He heard tales of a young American man who was working in a record shop just down the street. An American man known for his amazing musical abilities and style. A man known as Russel Hobbs.

 **NAME: RUSSEL HOBBS**

 **AGE WHEN BAND WAS FORMED: 23**

 **CURRENT AGE: 41**

 **COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: AMERICA**

 **HEIGHT: FUCKIN' HUGE**

 **BAND POSITION: DRUMMER**

 **MOST INFLUENCED ALBUM: THE GORILLAZ**

Wiz: Born in Brooklyn, New York, in 1975, Russel was an extremely gifted child.

 **Boomstick: Well known in his neighbourhood for his amazingly good manners and eloquent speech...**

Wiz: You're speech is surprisingly eloquent today too, Boomstick.

 **Boomstick: *Burps***

Wiz: ... Never mind. Anyway, as a prodigy in pretty much every field, Russel was easily given a spot at the Xavier School For Young Achievers.

 **Boomstick: Ooooor at least he HAD a spot... until he was possessed by a demon and attacked a load of his fellow students. Upon being subdued, Russel fell into a four year coma until a preacher showed up and exorcised the demon from him.**

Wiz: Russel, not clean of demonic entities tried to return to his old school, but they wouldn't let him. So he instead attended Brooklyn high. It was here were the boy met a large group of musically talented boys and where he learned to play the drums.

 **Boomstick: However, just like most heroes who live in New York, it wasn't long before tragedy struck. One day, while hanging out with his friends, a of people wearing red hoodies flew past in a Humvee and gunned down the entire group, leaving Russel as to only survivor.**

Wiz: In that moment, Russel somehow acted like a vacuum and sucked up the souls of all of his suddenly deceased friends, ans all of them lived on inside of him.

 **Boomstick: After that, he was sent to live with his uncle in the UK for his own safety. It was then then Murdoc kidnapped him to make him join the Gorillaz.**

Wiz: Russel originally planned on just beating up Murdoc and walking out. But he changed his mind when he was genuinely interested by the music.

 **ABILITIES**

 **CHILD PRODIGY IN EVERY FIELD**

 **INTENSE STRENGTH**

 **RADIATION INDUCED GIGANTISM**

 **UNUSUALLY HIGH FASHION KNOWLEDGE**

 **Boomstick: Okay, Okay! Enough backstory! Let's hear what he can do!**

Wiz: Alright, well I'll kick it off by going back to a previous point I mentioned. Russel was a child prodigy in every field. He is incredibly intelligent in pretty much every subject imaginable, including math, science, history, sporting, fashion design...

 **Boomstick: All of that? Really?!**

Wiz: Yep. Despite his love of food and... large gut... he's actually very athletic. Most of his mass is made of muscle, not fat. And while he's not exactly fast, he's got a lot of stamina and can keep going for ages.

 **Boomstick: Heh heh heh... just like me~**

Wiz: Ugh... ANYWAY... this large frame also gives him incredible strength, able to lift up any of his band mates, with one hand, with literally no trouble whatsoever.

 **Boomstick: But the best part is that so far, we've only been talking about Russel during the first two "phases" of the Gorillaz story.**

Wiz: That's right. During the plastic beach arc, Russel was possessed by yet another demon and, in a rage, ran off of a pier and dove head first into the pacific ocean and just began swimming out to sea.

 **Boomstick: And that's when things got all Godzilla up in this bitch! During his little swim, Russel drank down so much radioactive waste that he began mutating. But not like the ugly growths or extra limbs way. HE GREW FUCKING ENORMOUS!**

Wiz: Well... It's true! Russel grew to be about the size of a three story building! About 34 feet tall! That's like, 6 fully grown men standing on each other's shoulders.

 **Boomstick: Ok, so maybe he's not QUITE as big as Godzilla... but hey! He's like a third of the height of Gamera! And that still dwarfs other humans!**

 **FEATS**

 **BROKE MURDOC'S NOSE 5 TIMES**

 **SWAM THE PACIFIC OCEAN TO PLASTIC BEACH**

 **ATE A SHARK**

 **THREW A WHALE**

Wiz: Russel has had feats both before and after his transformation. When he was the size of a regular human, he broke Murdoc's nose five times, after finding out out he'd seduced 2-D's girlfriend.

 **Boomstick: And let's not forget that he swam through the pacific ocean! Even after he'd grown, he had to swim still. There were only a few shallower parts of the ocean where he could stand and wade. Regardless of size, that takes some incredible stamina and endurance.**

Wiz: And after he transformed, Russel was able to easily grabs sharks out of the water and eat them. Imagine how hard it is to reach into a river and catch a fish. Now imagine you were trying to do that to a shark. Yeah, it's quite a feat when you think about it.

 **Boomstick: But most impressively, HE THREW A KILLER WHALE!**

Wiz: Orcas, most commonly known as killer whales, are massive. And the largest known killer whale was 32 feet long. Only 2 feet shorter than Russel. And he was able to effortlessly grab the beast by it's tail and hurl it away into the horizon!

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **SLOW AND BULKY**

 **CAN OFTEN GET EMOTIONAL OR SENTIMENTAL**

 **TOO BIG TO ACTUALLY PLAY THE DRUMS ANYMORE**

 **INCREDIBLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO POSSESSION FROM SPIRITS AND DEMONS**

 **Boomstick: He sounds pretty damn powerful. How is someone going to ever take him down?**

Wiz: Well, despite being athletic and full of stamina... his bulky frame prevents him from moving very fast. Plus, he can often let his emotions get the better of him, seeing as he's a very kind-hearted person inside. In fact, even though he acts all intimidating and tough, he tends to a pacifist a majority of the time. Meaning he has very little combat experience.

 **Boomstick: Is that all?**

Wiz: Well... No. Remember how I said he acted like a vacuum to his friend's souls when they died. That's because after that very first demon was exorcised from him, his body was left wide open to outside spirits possessing him, and often sucks them in himself! And not only that. Only one soul can be "active" in Russel's body at a time. Whenever a spirit takes control, Russel's body is helpless to the whims of the spirit. Though one good hit will generally be enough to wind the spirit and give Russel full control back.

 **Boomstick: Well that seems kind of situational. It's not like he's currently possessed or anything.**

Wiz: Well... I suppose. I suppose we'll just have to see...

Noodle: (Japanese Speech)前方の道路を知るために、その戻ってくるに頼みます

Russel: Sister's tryin'a tell you: "To know the road ahead, ask those coming back". That shit's deep.

Noodle: Yeah!

[Doors Close]

Wiz: Alright, the Combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all

 **Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLLLLE!**

[Doors Close]

All four of the band members stood out in the graveyard outside of Kong studios, all four of them glaring at each other. Except for 2-D who looked like he was having a nervous breakdown.

"M-murdoc..? Do we haf'ta do this? Why do we haf'ta do this?! I don't wanna kill anyone. I don't wanna die!" 2-D whimpered. Murdoc gave 2-D a slap around the back of the head.

"Oh, quit yer fuckin' whining already, D! Be a fuckin' man for once!" Murdoc shouted, holding his guitar as it it were a sword. 2-D gulped and brandished a kitchen knife in each hand. The giant Russel said nothing, and simply cracked his knuckles, glaring down. Noodle started at the other three for a moment, before lowering her kitty mask. It was time...

 **FIGHT**

Murdoc and 2-D both raised their weapons, before they could take even a single step, Noodle pulled a case out from behind her and hurled it into the air. The case opened and gun parts flew out. Before any of them could react, Noodle leapt up after them, grabbed the pieces and shoved them together. She landed again, holding a fully assembled submachine gun in each hand. She aimed one at 2-D and one at Murdoc. And then she fired.

The two of them immediately dived for cover, 2-D screaming while he did so. Russel curled his hand into a fist and attempted to slam it down on Noodle, who effortlessly dived out of the way, firing back.

Meanwhile, behind cover, 2-D was hyperventilating. "I-I can't handle this, Murdoc! I'm freakin' out!" He said, panicking. Murdoc groaned out and rolled his eyes, before giving 2-D a smirk.

"Don't worry, D. I think I got a plan. We'll be fine~"

"B-but... the rules said that only one person can survive" 2-D questioned him hesitantly.

"D, you're talking to guy who sold his soul to the Satan and got out of paying him. If anyone can work their way around the rules, it's me!" Murdoc replied. 2-D tilted his head. That didn't seem like it should be true, but that smile Murdoc gave 2-D... he felt like he could trust it.

"...O-ok, Murdoc. What's the plan?"

"It's quite simple, D. You head out there and distract 'em while I fetch ol' Stylo. Cyborg Noodle is waiting in the back seat. If I can turn her on, we're golden! Don't worry, I won't let 'em kill ya!" Murdoc explained with an evil grin.

2-D fell for it easily. "A-alright, Murdoc! I trust you!" He said, brandishing his knives again. He peeked out over the cover to see Noodle spraying bullets at Russel, who was using his massive muscly arm to simply block them. 2-D nodded to himself bravely and hopped out of cover, running away from Murdoc and swinging his knives around. "HEY LOOK AT ME! I'M A DISTRACTION!"

Noodle and Russel turned away from each other for a moment to noticed 2-D. Noodle aimed one of her guns at 2-D and began firing at both him and Russel. Russel continued to block bullets and 2-D just ran like hell, just barely keeping ahead of the bullets as they fired in a stream right behind him.

Murdoc took the opportunity to run away. It wasn't long at all before he found Stylo. He grinned and hopped into the drivers seat, starting her up.

Noodle was busy dodging out of the way of Russel's attacks while 2-D was swinging his knives around wildly, hoping neither of them would get too close. Suddenly, the sound of a roaring engine echoed around the graveyard. All three band mates turned to see Stylo driving at breakneck speed, aiming right for Noodle. Just as the car was about to hit her, she hopped up onto the hood of the car and then jumped again to go over it. But she didn't expect what happened next.

Cyborg Noodle suddenly shot up THROUGH the roof of Stylo and delivered a powerful uppercut to Noodle, knocking the guns out of her hands and sending Noodle down to the ground in a heap.

Stylo skidded to a halt and Cyborg Noodle landed on top of it, catching Noodle's guns and reloading them. 2-D looked ecstatic! "Murdoc! You DID come back to save me! I knew I could trust-" Before 2-D could finish his sentence, Cyborg Noodle aimed one of it's guns at 2-D and shot him right between the eyes, killing him instantly.

 **K.O.: Murdoc 2-D**

Noodle hopped back up to her feet and drew two nunchucks and began spinning them. Cyborg Noodle leapt off of Stylo and began firing down at Noodle, who used the spinning nunchucks to block the incoming bullets. Murdoc began revving up Stylo again, but Russel seemed a little out of it. He looked down at 2-D's dead body and suddenly heard a voice in his head.

"Huh... it's kinda comfy in here, Russ..." Echoed 2-D's voice. Russel shook his head. He didn't have time to focus on the fact his band mate's soul was passively living in his head. He had a fight to win! While Noodle and her cyborg counterpart were fighting, Murdoc Drove towards Russel, grabbing one of Cyborg Noodle's shotguns from the back seat and firing up towards Russel's face. But Russel was quick to notice. He lifted his foot and brought it crashing down onto the hood of Stylo, stopping the car dead in it's tracks and destroying the engine, preventing any further use.

Eventually, Cyborg noodle ran out of ammo, so it tossed the guns aside and charged at Noodle, brandishing a sword. Regular noodle stuck with her nunchucks though, expertly swinging them to block incoming sword swipes. Cyborg Noodle attempted a downward slash onto Noodle's head, but she brought up her nunchucks and grappled onto the blade, quickly disarming the cyborg. She threw the nunchucks aside, now opting to use the sword she'd just taken from the robot instead. And in one swift motion... Cyborg Noodle was decapitated. The robot exploded shortly after. Noodle turned her attention to the other two.

Murdoc kicked open the door to his car and crawled out, gripping onto Cyborg Noodle's shotgun still. He aimed it up at Russel one last time. Russel noticed. "Oops." Russel said in a serious voice. "I squashed the car, but missed the bug." He then lifted his foot once again and stomped down on Murdoc.

 **K.O.: Russel Murdoc**

Noodle and Russel faced down with each other again. Noodle held her sword up, preparing to attack, and Russel simply stood there, waiting for the girl's approach. But then he heard something again...

"Heh heh heh heh..."

"M-murdoc? You're here too?!"

"Shut the fuck up, D."

Murdoc's spirit had made it into Russel's mind too. But unlike 2-D, who had already given up, Murdoc didn't plan on letting death keep him from winning. He began taking control. Russel's eyes went blank and his muscles all relaxed. His head drooped right down as if her were looking at the ground. And then a gigantic ghostly image of Murdoc formed from Russel's head.

"Alright, Noods..." Said Murdoc. "Let's see ya try to kill a ghost!"

Behind her mask, Noodle gritted her teeth in anger. Murdoc stepped right around Russel's vulnerable body and went straight for Noodle, attempting to stomp on her. Noodle easily back flipped out of the way though. Murdoc's ghost curled it's hand into a fist and attempted to punch down on to noodle, to crush her, but she once again easily dodged. Then she leapt up, running up Murdoc's arm while it was there. Once she reached his shoulder, she jumped again, towards Russel, and delivered a powerful kick to the giant's forehead. The kick was powerful enough to wake Russel up again, causing Murdoc to vanish, getting suck right back into Russel's head.#

The kick also caused Russel to stumble backwards before falling onto his back. Noodle prepared her sword as she fell, making sure her aim was perfect and...

 **SHING!**

She landed on Russel's forehead... her sword stabbed straight in to his head and into his brain, killing him. Noodle took a deep breath and gripped her sword, pulling it free from Russel's forehead. Then she hopped off of him and calmly walked away from the camera. She was done.

[Doors Close]

 **K.O.**

Cue - Feel Good inc. Instrumental starting from the first chorus

Noodle sits on the edge of her floating island, still wearing her mask, while strumming quietly at her guitar. Meanwhile, Russel and 2-D are having a light-hearted discussion while in line for heaven. Murdoc, on the other hand is chained up in hell, with demons surrounding him.

 **Boomstick: Welp. So much for a 5th gorillaz album.**

Wiz: Let's start with the basics. 2-D, as we said before, stood no chance in this fight. A combination of his naivety and lacking combat skills basically made him nothing more than a target on the battlefield.

 **Boomstick: Yeah... honestly, it's a wonder he lasted as long as he did!**

Wiz: Next up was Murdoc. Despite being a tactical and manipulative genius... Noodle and Russel have always shown to be smart enough to never believe a word Murdoc says. It would take a miracle for Murdoc to be able to manipulate either of them. Especially Russel, who has actively attacked Murdoc when the satanist tried to worm his way out of seducing 2-D's girlfriend.

 **Boomstick: And while Cyborg Noodle is a very impressive technological creation, not only is it prone to breaking down... but it's been killed by regular Noodle before. So there was no doubt it wouldn't last.**

Wiz: This part was where it began to get tricky though. Noodle's skills are amazing, but Russel's size and brute strength would have easily been able to take her down if given the opportunity. However, the battle ended up going in Noodle's favour for two reasons. Firstly, Noodle's speed and agility meant it would be nearly impossible for the slow and bulky Russel to catch her. She could easily evade any of his grabs or stomps. In fact, She did a similar thing in the music video for "Rock the house" when she avoids the giant Del stepping on her.

 **Boomstick: And the second reason is cuz she has tits. Tits always win~**

Wiz: WHAT?! No! That's not it!

 **Boomstick: It's not? Huh. Well it should be!**

Wiz: The ACTUAL second reason was because of Russel's susceptibility to possession. With his body acting like a vacuum to spirits, there was no doubt the spirits of anyone who dies before him in this fight would be pulled in. In this case, 2-D and Murdoc. And when the spirits take control, while they DO have a physical form, they leave Russel completely vulnerable to attack, meaning Russel, and any spirits inside of him, would be made quick work of.

 **Boomstick: Looks like you shouldn't DARE mess with Noodle!**

Wiz: The winner is Noodle

[DOORS CLOSE]

 **Boomstick: Next time on death battle…**

?: Heeeeeey, Everybody! Welcome back to the wonderlocke! I'm Nate!

?: And I'm Brett! And today we're gonna kick some ass!

 **VS**

?: Hello, and welcome back to TFS plays pokemon leaf green nuzlock. I'm Lanivee

?: I'm Kirranidos

?: And I'm Grantwo! And today we're gonna do some multiplayer!

 **Boomstick: Youtubers..? Pokemon? This is gonna be a weird fight...**


	8. Episode 8: Slagathore VS LaKiGr

Wiz: All over youtube, one of the most popular video genres is video game let's plays and walkthroughs. So much so that sometimes, channels that don't play video games will sometimes create a second channel just to play games.

 **Boomstick: And that's exactly what these two channels did. And not only that, they knew full well that a pokémon nuzlocke would be sure to bring in the views!**

Wiz: Slagathore, the main protagonist of Natewantstobattle's Pokémon X Wonderlocke series.

 **Boomstick: And LaKiGr. The main protagonist of Team Four Star's Pokémon Leaf Green Nuzlocke.**

Wiz: To make the fight a little more fair, we'll be including a few restrictions. 1. All pokémon will be rounded DOWN to level 55.

 **Boomstick: 2. All Pokémon's stats will be set to base for their level, since finding out what they actually were at level 50 while taking into account EV's, IV's and Nature would be pretty much impossible. Also, Natures will all be neutral.**

Wiz: 3. Items will not be allowed in the fight. Only hold items. In addition, both players will have the battle style "set" on.

 **Boomstick: And finally, Since both team's pokémon are form different generations, they will follow the rules of the generation they originally came from. For example, TFS's pokémon will follow the battle mechanics from BEFORE the physical/special split, while Natewantstobattle's team will follow the mechanics from AFTER the physical/special split.**

Wiz: Both combatants will be aware of these rules, but not of each other's teams.

 **Boomstick: With all that out of the way, He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!**

Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapon, armour and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE.

[Doors Close]

Wiz: The region of Kalos. A beautiful area of the Pokémon world known for it's amazing scenery and being the height of fashion.

 **Boomstick: It only makes sense that the best trainers of this place would be stylish as all hell.**

Wiz: Across the region, odd things were happening. A giant of a man had been spotted roaming the land, odd people with red suits seemed to be plotting up some strange scheme, and at the same time, Professor Sycamore was planning his next big research project into the mysteries of Mega Evolution.

 **Boomstick: Of course, like all old scientists in the pokémon world, he couldn't just head out and do it all himself. Nope! He needed 5 young new research assistants.**

Wiz: And he quickly got some volunteers. Tierno, Trevor, Shauna, Calem and at the head of the pack, a young girl by the name of... *Sigh*... Slagathore.

 **NAME: SLAGATHORE**

 **AGE: 15**

 **HOMETOWN: VANIVILLE TOWN**

 **BADGES: 8**

 **FIRST POKEMON: FLOCHA THE FROAKIE (IMMEDIATELY TRADED FOR A ZIGZAGOON)**

 **MIND OWNED BY: NATHAN SHARP AND BRETTULTIMUS**

 **Boomstick: Bahahahahahaha! You can't be serious! Her name is Slagathore?! That's fuckin' priceless!**

Wiz: Ugh. Slagathore, Or as she prefers her friends to call her, S-kins...

 **Boomstick: SKINS?! That's just as hilarious!**

Wiz: Slagathore was a new girl to the Kalos region. She had only recently moved along with her Mother, a famous rhyhorn racer named Grace. Not long after moving in, she found herself being roped into a pokémon adventure of her own.

 **Boomstick: But, much like myself, the girl wasn't content with simply having a fun little kiddy adventure. She wanted a challenge! And so, she set out on a Wonderlocke adventure.**

Wiz: For those who don't know, a Wonderlocke challenge is when a trainer must immediately wonder trade any pokémon they catch away for a random pokémon from across the world. She was willing right from the get go. Right after picking up her starter pokémon, Flocha the Froakie, she took the little frog and sent it off. In exchange, she got a Zigzagoon.

 **Boomstick: And so her journey began!**

Wiz: On her travels, Slagathore eventually traded away pokémon at random until finally she had a full team. And with that team, she took on the pokémon league challenge. She lost many pokémon along the way, but sure enough, she made it too the pokémon league.

 **Boomstick: And the team she used for that finale challenge sits right here before you...**

 **BANETTE (ITEM: KINGS ROCK)**

 **GHOST**

 **ABILITY: FRISK**

 **WILL-O-WISP, FEINT ATTACK, HEX, SHADOW BALL**

 **HP:64 ATK:115 DEF:65 :83 :63 SPD: 65**

 **DANK THE CRADILY (ITEM: HARD STONE)**

 **GRASS/ROCK**

 **ABILITY: SUCTION CUPS**

 **CONFUSE RAY, ENERGY BALL, ROCK TOMB, RECOVER**

 **HP:86 ATK:81 DEF:97 :81 :107 SPD:43**

 **DRAGONITE**

 **DRAGON/FLYING**

 **ABILITY: MULTISCALE**

 **EARTHQUAKE, DRAGON DANCE, OUTRAGE, EXTREME SPEED**

 **HP:91 ATK:134 DEF:95 :100 :100 SPD: 80**

Wiz: First up is Banette. Banette was rarely used at all during it's time on the team, due to how grossly overleveled the ghost type had become by the end of the game. However, since all pokémon are leveled down in this death battle, that won't be a factor.

 **Boomstick: Specializing in Physical attack, with a little special attack too, Banette focuses on dealing out as much damage as possible using Feint attack and Shadow ball. It also has Will-o-wisp, which it can use to burn foes, and then follow up with hex for a deadly combo.**

Wiz: Banette has the Frisk ability, giving it the power to immediately know the foe's held item upon being sent out. It's also equipped with the King's Rock, giving any of it's damaging moves an additional 10% chance to force the opponent to flinch, preventing one turn of action. However, Banette's defences are not it's strong suit, making it sort of a glass cannon.

 **Boomstick: Dank, the Cradily is quite the opposite though. Boasting the highest special defence of the team, and the second highest regular defence, Dank is a true wall, capable of eating up a lot of hits.**

Wiz: Dank's attacking stats are still fairly decent though, meaning its attacks like Energy ball and Rock tomb still hit pretty hard. Especially Rock Tomb, which is powered up even further, thanks to it's held item, the Hard Stone. In addition, Dank has Confuse ray in order to cause his foes to attack themselves, and Recover to regenerate any health that may have been lost over the course of a fight.

 **Boomstick: And then there's Dragonite. This behemoth of a pokémon is one of the most all round balanced members of Slagathore's team, with a nice spread of stats that are both decently high, and more or less equal. It even knows Dragon Dance, making it capable of boosting it's Attack and Speed even further if needed.**

Wiz: Extreme Speed guarantees Dragonite a first attack while earthquake provides a solid ground type hit.

 **Boomstick: And then there's outrage. A draconian rampage that prevents Dragonite from doing anything else until it's calmed down. And even then, it confuses itself in the process.**

Wiz: But we can't forget one of Dragonite's Most valuable assets. It's ability, Multiscale. This ability makes it so that while Dragonite is at full health, any damage it takes will be halved. An insanely useful ability when facing a pokémon with a type advantage.

 **META GROSS (ITEM: IRON PLATE)**

 **STEEL/PSYCHIC**

 **ABILITY: CLEAR BODY**

 **ZEN HEADBUTT, HAMMER ARM, METEOR MASH, BULLET PUNCH**

 **HP:80 ATK:135 DEF:130 :95 :90 SPD: 70**

 **RESLADERO THE HAWLUCHA (ITEM: SKY PLATE)**

 **FLYING/FIGHTING**

 **ABILITY: UNBURDEN**

 **FLYING PRESS, STRENGTH, FLY, HIGH JUMP KICK**

 **HP:78 ATK:92 DEF:75 :74 :63 SPD:118**

 **DEDENNE (ITEM: MAGNET)**

 **TYPE: ELECTRIC/FAIRY**

 **ABILITY: CHEEK POUCH**

 **THUNDER WAVE, THUNDERBOLT, PARABOLIC CHARGE, PLAY ROUGH**

 **HP:67 ATK:58 DEF:57 :81 :67 SPD:101**

 **Boomstick: Then there's Metagross. This this is a beast. It's physical stats are through the roof, even beating out Dragonite, but it's special stats are a little lower. Still not by much though. It's speed isn't bad so to speak, but it is about average compared to the other members of the team.**

Wiz: Using it's stats, Metagross boast a big supply of powerful physical moves such as Zen headbutt, Hammer arm and Meteor mash. It also has Bullet punch, a slightly weaker move than his others, but it exchange, it's extremely fast and almost guaranteed to go first. He also holds an iron plate, which boots the power of his steel type moves.

 **Boomstick: In addition, it has the clear body ability. This ability stops Metagross's stats from being lowered by attacks or abilities that target it. Though it's stats can still be dropped by it's own moves, such as Hammer Arm lowering it's speed. Which shouldn't be too big of a problem when he's packing that bullet punch.**

Wiz: Next is one of their oldest team members, Resladero, the Hawlucha.

 **Boomstick: Ok, this thing is straight up weird. It's a lucha-libre hawk? Really? I can't tell if that's badass or creepy...**

Wiz: Resladero's main attributes are it's attacking strength and it's speed, though it's other stats are pretty average. Especially it's special defence, which is pretty weak. To make up for it, it boosts it's flying type moves using it's item, the sky plate.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, Moves like Fly and Flying press. Flying press in particular, as it counts as both a fighting and flying move. It also knows the manliest move, Strength, and a signature move of fighting type pokémon, High Jump Kick. This attack is amazingly powerful, but if it misses, that amazing power is turned right back on the poor user.**

Wiz: Despite having this amazing team of pokémon, Slagathore didn't actually care too much for them. Her pokémon, and those that came before them were all powerful creatures, but no more than just acquaintances. There was only ever on pokémon that Slagathore truly cared for. Her Mascot, Dedenne.

 **Boomstick: Which is kinda weird. Dedenne, while easily one of the fastest members of the team, is actually kinda lacking in every other area. It's special attack is pretty good, but pretty much everything else is below average.**

Wiz: Regardless, Dedenne is still more than capable of holding it's own. It makes the most of it's special attack stat with moves like Thunderbolt, and Parabolic charge. A move that saps health from the opponent to heal itself. It also knows Play rough, a powerful fairy type move, albeit physical attacking rather than special attacking. And, as an added bonus, Dedenne has thunder wave. A non damaging electric type move that paralyses the foe.

 **FEATS**

 **DEFEATED TEAM FLARE**

 **GRINDED BANETTE UP TO LEVEL 95**

 **CRADILY SOLOED MALVA**

 **DEFEATED ELITE FOUR AND DIANTHA WITH NO DEATHS**

 **Boomstick: Needless to say, Slagathore's team is pretty damn powerful. But don't just take my word for it. Let's have a look over her feats!**

Wiz: Slagathore is an amazing trainer. With her team alongside her, the group was able to take down the criminal organization of Team Flare with relative ease.

 **Boomstick: And she was able to capture the legendary pokémon Xerneas!**

Wiz: Yeah, but with a master ball, which I wouldn't call very impressive. Not to mention she traded the legendary pokémon away immediately to fit the rules of her Wonderlocke.

 **Boomstick: Hey, a feat is still a feat. And it's not like it's the only one anyway. She also took down the entire elite four, including the champion, without any of her pokémon falling in battle! Hell, when fighting the Fire user, Malva, she was able to take her down with only the use of one pokémon. Cradily!**

Wiz: It's also key to point out just how determined Slagathore can be. When preparing for the elite four, as a back up plan she took Banette out for some last minute training…

 **Boomstick: Only to accidentally grind Banette right up to level ninety-fucking-five!**

Wiz: The same can also be said for many of Slagathore's pokémon. Being a wonderlocke, a lot of the pokémon Slagathore used started off at level one, meaning they would need to be trained up if they were to join the team.

 **Boomstick: She's got more patience than me. I just hack in a bunch of rare candy when I'm underleveled**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **CONSTANTLY UNDERESTIMATE FOES**

 **MAIN STRATEGY: BRUTE FORCE WITH ONE STRONG POKEMON**

 **POOR TYPECHART MEMORY**

 **ONLY CARES ABOUT DEDENNE**

Wiz: And that's why your teams always have crappy stats. Regardless of this determination, it can often prove to be very unhelpful. Such as the very common occurrence of her underestimating those she fights against. Paired with her usual strategy of smashing through foes with one strong pokémon, this often leaves her in tight spots.

 **Boomstick: Brute force is good an' all, but you gotta know when to use it. Otherwise, you'll end up with your strongest current pokémon getting killed by something 20 levels lower... Wait, did that actually happen.**

Wiz: Yep. Slagathore's once strongest pokémon, Camerupt, was defeated by an earthquake from a Piloswine that was around twenty levels weaker than it.

 **Boomstick: Wh-... How does someone fuck up that badly?!**

Wiz: In addition to her battle strategies, Slagathore has a problem keeping the pokémon type matchups in her mind at all times.

 **Boomstick: I mean, I can't really blame her for that. Some of those match-ups are pretty weird. I still don't remember if Bug resists dark or not.**

Wiz: It doesn't. There is also one key problem with Slagathore's training practices.

 **Boomstick: She doesn't give a single shit about her pokémon! Like, none of them!**

Wiz: Well, kind of. There are a small collection of pokémon who she does actually care for... though most of them are dead. Specifically her short lived Swampert, a very short time after it joined the team, and Dedenne, the mascot of the team. Part of the reason Dedenne stayed on the team from the moment he arrived was that Slagathore loves him so dearly.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, she'll do whatever it takes to keep Dedenne alive above any of her other pokémon.**

Wiz: Slagathore may not be the smartest trainer, but she's still incredibly skilled. And her pokémon are strong too. Despite the short comings she has, she accomplished so much. And she will no doubt continue to do so.

 **Boomstick: Are you sure about that? She still isn't even smart enough to change that fucking hilariously bad name she has!**

Slagathore: Ain't I pretty? I'm a pretty little princess. Heeeeeeey~

[Doors Close]

Wiz: Once upon a time, in the region of Kanto, a young 10 year old by the name of LaKiGr had woken up on the day he had long for his whole life. The day he would finally receive his first pokémon and take on the pokémon league challenge.

 **Boomstick: A classic rite of passage for many young boys in the Kanto region! Though not as good as my Family's tradition of collecting a tooth from a live bear when we turn 9.**

Wiz: However, the moment his eyes opened on that fateful day, something very strange happened. That was when he first heard the three voices...

 **NAME: LAKIGR**

 **AGE: 10**

 **HOMETOWN: PALLET TOWN**

 **BADGES: 8**

 **FIRST POKEMON: STRIKER THE CHARMANDER**

 **MIND OWNED BY: LANI, KIRRAN AND GRANT, OF TEAM FOUR STAR**

 **Boomstick: Wait, what?!**

Wiz: The phenomenon was never explained, but somehow, three famous youtubers from the popular channel "Team Four Star", most well known for the dragon ball abridged series, had managed to take over the poor young boy's mind. And with the new control, they set LaKiGr onto a path the poor young boy had no interest in going down. A Nuzlocke.

 **Boomstick: LaKiGr, since he was just a little kid, absolutely loved pokémon. And he always wanted nothing more than to go on a journey and make new friends with as many pokémon as possible. But that was all changed when the nuzlocke rules were forced onto him.**

Wiz: Not only did the rules mean he could only catch one pokémon per route, but more importantly, if his pokémon ever fainted in a fight, no matter how much he loved that pokémon, the voices in his head forced his hand to crush his beloved partner's pokeball in a hydraulic press, with the Pokémon still inside.

 **Boomstick: Geez... that's kinda dark...**

Wiz: The words "Punish the weak, Promote the strong". And despite loving his pokémon, he had no choice but to follow these words. It was the only way to keep as many of his friends alive as possible.

 **Boomstick: And while he lost many pokémon along the way, he sure as hell found some tough S.O.B's to keep with him to the very end.**

 **BUTTDORK THE RAICHU**

 **ELECTRIC**

 **ABILITY: STATIC**

 **THUNDERBOLT, STRENGTH, THUNDER WAVE, ROCK SMASH**

 **HP:60 ATK:90 DEF:55 :90 :80 SPD:100**

 **JOHNNYCASH THE DRAGONITE (ITEM: LEFTOVERS)**

 **DRAGON/FLYING**

 **ABILITY: INNER FOCUS**

 **THUNDER WAVE, OUTRAGE, ICE BEAM, SURF**

 **HP:91 ATK:134 DEF:95 :100 :100 SPD:80**

 **STRIKER THE CHARIZARD**

 **FIRE/FLYING**

 **ABILITY: BLAZE**

 **FLAMETHROWER, OVERHEAT, BRICK BREAK, FLY**

 **HP:78 ATK:84 DEF:78 :109 :85 SPD:100**

Wiz: Starting with the newest member of the team, we have Buttdork, the raichu.

 **Boomstick: *snickering* Heh... Buttdork... Classic~**

Wiz: Despite being completely blind, Buttdork is still capable of fighting perfectly as well as any other raichu. It's stats are all pretty average, aside from it's speed, which is tied for the fastest of the team! He also comes equipped with the Static ability to help paralyze and slow down his foes.

 **Boomstick: In a way, he's like the Daredevil of the team... But with electricity powers, like Thunderbolt and Thunder Wave. He also makes use of his surprisingly decent attack stat with true manly physical attacks, Brick break and Strength. Powerful fighting and normal type moves respectively. And both moves I personally know how to use!**

Wiz: Next is JohnnyCash.

 **Boomstick: *GASP* The legend of country music himself?!**

Wiz: N-no... JohnnyCash the Dragonite.

 **Boomstick: I fell into a burnin' ring of fire! I fell down down down and the flames went higher!**

Wiz: ...Aaaaanyway, this dragonite has the Inner focus ability, to prevent him from ever flinching as a result of an attack. On top of that, just like Slagathore's Dragonite, it's stats are incredibly good and well balanced, making him a powerhouse. He knows moves like...

 **Boomstick: Ring of fire! A song based move that may burn the foe!**

Wiz: ...Umm... No. Just like Buttdork, he has access to Thunder wave to paralyze foes. In terms of attacking power, JohnnyCash has three powerful attacks ready to go at all times. Surf and ice beam are incredibly strong special attacks that can be used to drown or freeze the foe in their tracks. He also wields the move outrage, which we covered earlier in Slagathore's rundown.

 **Boomstick: And his hold item is his guitar!**

Wiz: NO! His hold item is actually leftovers, to help him restore a little health each turn.

 **Boomstick: Alright, alright. I get it. Anyway, next is LaKiGr's very first pokémon, and the only surviving member of his original team, Striker, the Richard.**

Wiz: We've covered Charizard on this show multiple times, in both the Pokémon Battle Royals, and the Pokémon VS Digimon fights. But this specific Charizard has set moves so there is still stuff to cover!

 **Boomstick: Like Most Charizard, Striker specializes in attacking and speed. He also knows Brick Break, just like Me and Buttdork!**

Wiz: He knows fly, a two turn flying attack that protects him during the first turn and then attacks on the second. But his most powerful attacks are his flames. Flame-thrower, and Overheat. Overheat is more powerful, but in exchange for lowering Striker's attacking stats.

 **SANDREW THE SANDSLASH**

 **GROUND**

 **ABILITY: SAND VEIL**

 **SLASH, ROCK SLIDE, EARTHQUAKE, TOXIC**

 **HP:75 ATK:100 DEF:110 :45 :55 SPD:65**

 **WANDA THE GYARADOS**

 **WATER/FLYING**

 **ABILITY: INTIMIDATE**

 **SECRET POWER, HYPER BEAM, BITE, SURF**

 **HP:95 ATK:125 DEF:79 :60 :100 SPD:81**

 **BORKLASER THE SNORLAX (ITEM: LEFTOVERS)**

 **NORMAL**

 **ABILITY: THICK FAT**

 **HYPER BEAM, BODY SLAM, DOUBLE TEAM, SHADOW BALL**

 **HP:160 ATK:110 DEF:65 :65 :110 SPD:30**

 **Boomstick: Next up is one of LaKiGr's personal favourites. Hell, even the voices in his head loved this little guy. Sandrew, the sandslash. With a focus on his physical stats, this little guy and wreck shit up and take hits too. Though he's not so good with his special stats, so keep him away from special moves.**

Wiz: He also knows the moves Slash, a powerful normal type move with a high critical hit ratio. Rock slide, a move that drops rocks on the foe, giving a chance to flinch in the process. And Earthquake, his most deadly move. A deadly ground type move that deals major damage to all pokémon on the field. Barring Sandrew himself, of course.

 **Boomstick: But outside of his brute force moves, the little hedgehog guy knows Toxic. This move deals no damage, but instead badly poison's the foe, making them take more and more damage the longer they stick around on the field.**

Wiz: Then we have one of the main power houses of the team. Wanda, the gyarados. This fearsome sea serpent pokémon is so intimidating on first glance, that upon being sent into battle, the opponent's attack stat is lowered out of fear.

 **Boomstick: But don't get it twisted. This lady isn't just a scary face. She's a monster! Focussing on Physical attack, Wanda is able to rip foes apart with vicious moves like Bite and Secret power.**

Wiz: For this battle, the terrain will be plain, meaning that Secret power has a chance to cause paralysis.

 **Boomstick: She also knows surf. And while her Special attack isn't too amazing, it's still an impressive water type move on it's own. But her strongest moves, is the Hyper Beam. God, every time I see this move, I cry manly tears of happiness! This baby is so overly excessive and puts such a strain on the user, they need to stop for a second and catch their breath before taking another action. Wonderful~**

Wiz: And finally, the backbone of the team. BorkLaser, the Snorlax! This incredibly large pokémon almost killed Wanda when first captured by LaKiGr, and after being captured, he went on to become, pretty much, the leader of the team. With Powerful attack and Special Defence stats, with an extraordinary amount of HP, BorkLaser quickly became a staple team member.

 **Boomstick: AND HE KNOWS HYPER BEAM TOO! HELL YES!**

Wiz: On top of Hyper Beam, BorkLaser also knows Body Slam, in which he hurls his own body at the foe and crushes them with his weight. Sometimes, this can even paralyze the foe. He also knows Double Team, somehow. This allows him to create hologram-like clones of himself in order to fool the opponent and make himself harder to hit. And, to round off his moveset, He knows Shadow Ball, a ghost type move with a chance to lower the foe's special defences.

 **Boomstick: God DAMN, I wish pokémon were real...**

 **FEATS**

 **TEAM COVERS EACH OTHERS WEAKNESSES WELL**

 **DEFEATED GIOVANNI**

 **TOOK DOWN THE ELITE FOUR WITHOUT ANY DEATHS**

 **DEFEATED NUTSACK REPEATEDLY WITH EASE**

Wiz: Needless to say, with this team, LaKiGr was able to go great places! He specifically built his team to cover each other's weaknesses and isn't afraid to swap to another pokémon if his current strategy isn't working. And using this team, He's been able to take on his rival Nutsack with ease multiple times. YES, He's called Nutsack. Don't go off on a tangent, Boomstick.

 **Boomstick: It's. The. Nutsack... It's. The. Nutsack...**

Wiz: No! That's even worse!

 **Boomstick: Heh heh heh. Anyway! LaKiGr didn't just take down his genital-named douchebag of a rival. He also defeated Giovanni, leader of team rocket, Multiple times! Not to mention how he was able to blast through the entire elite four, champion included, without a single team member dying!**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **OFTEN UNDERESTIMATE REGULAR OPPONENTS**

 **OFTEN OVERESTIMATE BOSS FIGHTS**

 **ALMOST WIPED OUT BY BROCK**

 **ADDICTED TO LEMONADE**

Wiz: It's true! LaKiGr is a beast of a trainer... But he's far from perfect. He's prone to underestimating regular opponents. He's lost many a pokémon to unexpected moves that he never saw coming, Like his Fearow, Alex, who was taken down by an unforeseen Cross chop.

 **Boomstick: He also overestimates some of the bigger challenges he has to face, over preparing to crazy levels... only to end up beating them fairly easily. Like the gym leaders.**

Wiz: Weeeeeell. Not ALL the gym leaders. Almost his entire team was wiped out when he first fought Brock in Pewter city, with Striker the Charmander being the only surviving member of the party.

 **Boomstick: The first gym leader? Really?!**

Wiz: Well he WAS just starting off as a trainer. He had plenty of time to grow and learn since then. And he has. He's bested gym leaders, evil teams, and legendary pokémon. All in the name of the nuzlocke. And, after all his hard work, he eventually managed to break free of the Voices control. It's unknown were LaKiGr is now, but rumour has it he's waiting atop MT Silver, for the voices to come after him, so he can exact his revenge in the name of all the pokémon they made him kill in the hydraulic press.

 **Boomstick: He might have his work cut out for him though. That TANTOR guy looks pretty tough...**

LaKiGr: FARE THEE WELL, LESSER CHAMPION! LAKIGR IS THE TRUE POKEMON CHAMPION!

[Doors Close]

Wiz: Alright, the Combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all

 **Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLLLLE!**

[Doors Close]

"Is the mic on? Yeah I think the mic's on. HELLO! And welcome back to the wonderlocke!" Nate called out as he started recording his newest video. "You all know me, It's Natewantstobattle here with..."

"Hello, my fellow legionaries! It's Brettultimus and I'm back with Nate yet again for a return to something great" Brett spoke up on cue. "Recently, this new fan made pokémon game has come out. A large MMO with all the online functionality you would expect from this kinda thing."

"Buuuuuut!" Nate began to add. "It gives the option to import your team from a console game, albeit all your pokémon lowered to level 50. So, we decided that we would bring Slagathore back out of retirement and continue her wonderlocke journey finally! Except this time, all the NPCs are not actually NPCs"

"Yeah, they're real people. Maybe even some of you playing the game along with us!" Brett said. The two of them started the game and continued their colourful let's play commentary as they transferred Slagathore and her team into the MMO styled fangame. But meanwhile…

"Hello and Welcome... to something super special today. A brand new Team Four Star let's play of a brand new fan game called Pokémon Multi Version! A fan created MMO game that I'm 100% sure Nintendo will be shutting down soon, so we wanted to start playing ASAP." Said Lani. "I'm Lani-doqueen!"

"I'm Kirran-ceus!"

"I'm Poli-Grant, and before we forget, was should also add, that we won't be creating a new avatar for this journey. As we've finally done what science said was impossible." Grant said in as serious a tone as he could.

"Mhmm.. We have learned how to CLONE LAKIGR!" Kirran shouted, leading all three of them to start laughing maniacally.

"That's right, while TANTOR is on his journey to hunt down LaKiGr, we will be transferring what was left of LaKiGr's mind and his pokémon and recreating them to play through this MMO with nuzlocke rules!" Lani finished. "So, without further ado, let's do science men!"

LaKiGr's eyes opened up and he found himself in an odd place. It seemed to be some kind of building. He pulled himself to his feet and looked around. This wasn't the pokémon centre he remembered being in last. Last he remembered, the voices made him put Mewtwo into the hydraulic press. Then he began to hear the voices again. They were echoing in his head... They were still inside him...

The voice began to command his movements again and, as if he had a choice, he began to follow the orders, exploring the building.

Not too far away, a slightly older girl had just woken up too. She seemed to be in a much better mood than LaKiGr. She began to wonder around as well, as dictated by those nice voices in her head. Until eventually, she cam face to face with LaKiGr. "Heeeeeeey~" Slagathore said in her... odd voice.

LaKiGr raised an eyebrow. Even the voices in his head were laughing at the creepiness of this girl. "Umm... Who are YOU?" LaKiGr asked, seemingly rather quick to anger.

"I'm Slagathore. But my friend call me Skins. You wanna battle?" She said, out of nowhere, pulling out a pokeball. LaKiGr was hesitant, he didn't want to risk his friends... but the voices said otherwise and accepted the challenge. He reached for his own pokeball. Both trainers threw out their first pokémon. Slagathore sent out Dedenne, and LaKiGr sent out Buttdork.

Of course, as per the rules of the MMO's nuzlocke mode. If you ran of of usable pokémon, that file would be deleted, effectively killing the trainer. So their lives depended on this fight...

 **FIGHT**

Slagathore surveyed the start of the match. Two electric pokémon squaring off. The voices in her head didn't seem to be phased at all and she heard the command to just go for it and have Dedenne use Play Rough. Meanwhile, the voices in LaKiGr's head were also a little apathetic about the fights. But still they didn't think Buttdork was right for this fight and they commanded LaKiGr to switch Buttdork out for Sandrew instead.

"Buttdork! Switch out!" LaKiGr called out, withdrawing Buttdork. "Go, Sandrew!" He yelled, hurling the pokeball and setting free Sandrew.

Slagathore just continued right along. "Dedenne! Play rough!" She called out. Dedenne gave a goofy smile and leaped at Sandrew, attacking him with the fairy type move. Sandrew didn't seem to phased by the attack, but his own attack power was lowered in the process. The voices in Slagathore's head seemed to be taking the fight a little more seriously when they realized the Sandslash was a threat to Dedenne.

Worried for the well being of Dedenne, Slagathore's voices gave the order to pull him back and send out Dank the Cradily instead. LaKiGr's voices on the other hand seemed busy on some kind of tangent about the fairy type, idly telling LaKiGr to have Sandrew use Earthquake.

Slagathore held up her pokeball. "Come back, Dedenne!" She said, returning Dedenne and throwing out another pokeball instead, releasing Dank.

LaKiGr shook his head. "Sandrew. Hit it with Earthquake!" He ordered. Sandrew stabbed his claws into the ground with a shove and the ground immediately began shaking, focused entirely on Dank. It did relatively decent damage, though not as much as it could have thanks to the attack drop.

Seeing the odd pokémon come out, the voices in LaKiGr's head were unsure what to do. They knew they didn't want to keep Sandrew out though. If they did, he would surely be hit by some kind of grass type move. After deliberation, the voices agreed that despite the risk, Striker the Charizard would be able to get some good damage off on Dank. So they gave to command. And, just as LaKiGr's voices had predicted, Slagathore's ordered Cradily to use Energy ball.

LaKiGr returned Sandrew, keeping up the pokémon switch-fest and sending out Striker. Striker landed and let out a fearsome roar, glaring at the Cradily.

Slagathore ignored the change in pokémon and followed her orders. "Go for it, Dank! Energy Ball!" She said. Dank charge up nature energy and blasted it at Striker, doing effectively zero damage.

It was around now that the voices in LaKiGr's head remembered that Cradily was part rock type and keeping Striker out may be a problem. But despite they, they continued to debate sticking it out. This got LaKiGr very nervous. Eventually, the voices agreed to keep striker out and use Brick Break. Slagathore's voices were still joking around with each other and weren't really paying attention. They told Slagathore to use Rock Tomb.

LaKiGr didn't like this. But it wasn't like he had a choice in the matter. "Striker! Hit it with brick break." Her ordered, hesitantly. Striker gave a flap of his wings and shot off, slamming his claw down onto Dank in a chopping motion. The super effective hit did a lot of damage, causing the voices in Slagathore head to pay a little more attention... But the move didn't kill.

"Dank, use rock tomb!" Slagathore said. Dank glowed and rocks dropped form the sky slamming down onto Charizard roughly, quickly burying him until... his HP hit zero. LaKiGr's eyes began to grow wet, and the voices in his head grew silent for a moment, before flying off into a revenge filled rage. The ordered LaKiGr to send out Wanda the Gyarados to finish Dank. LaKiGr sent out Wanda, and Dank's attack dropped.

Regardless of Dank being a part grass type, they demanded LaKiGr use surf immediately. And he did so. Not even giving Slagathore a chance to respond, the Gyarados launched a huge wave of water at Dank, knocking the fossil pokémon out immediately.

The voices in Slagathore's head grew silent too, before laughing out awkwardly. At the loss of their team mate. They told Slagathore to send out Dedenne again. So she did.

LaKiGr's voices seemed to be incredibly pissed off by the death of Striker. But nonetheless, they didn't want to keep Wanda out against something that had a x4 advantage against them. The ordered LaKiGr to switch her out for Sandrew again. Meanwhile, the voices in Slagathore's mind, despite having lost Dank, still seemed to be pretty light-hearted about everything. The gave Slagathore the order to hit Wanda with a thunderbolt.

"Alright, Dedenne fry it with a thunderbolt!" She cheered out and Dedenne began charging electricity. But before the bolt could be fired, LaKiGr recalled Wanda back and switched Sandrew out, who tanked the blast with ease, taking no damage in the process.

With Dedenne once again at an advantage, Slagathore's voices gave the order to switch him out and let Resladero join the fray. LaKiGr's voices, on the other hand, predicted that they wouldn't want to keep the electric pokémon on the field and told LaKiGr to use Rock Slide. They were unsure what was going to be sent out, but got a feeling that it would probably be something immune to ground.

"Resladero! Come back for now!" Slagathore called out, recalling the pokémon into his ball and sending out the Hawlucha to fight.

LaKiGr smirked. "Use Rock slide, Sandrew!" He called out, and the Sandslash began hurling rocks at the newcomer. Hawlucha took the hits, but managed to tank them with relative ease.

Slagathore's voices seemed to be impressed by how well Hawlucha took the hit and decided to keep him in, ordering Slagathore to use Flying press. Meanwhile. LaKiGr's voices saw Hawlucha as a possible threat, so they had LaKiGr use Toxic.

"Alright, Resladero! Use Flying Press!" Slagathore called out, in her usual cheerful manner. Resladero nodded and began running, leaping up into the air above Sandrew and slamming down on top of him.

As the wrestling pokémon cam crashing down, LaKiGr called out his own attack. "Poison him, Sandrew. Toxic!" Sandrew curled up into a ball and prepared his spikes. As Hawlucha came crashing down, he was pricked by the spikes, poisoning himself badly. Sandrew, on the other hand, took the flying press rather well, leaving him on about half health. Resladero quickly leapt backwards, away from Sandrew.

Resladero winced a little as the poison shot through his body, but the voices in Slagathore's head didn't seem to worried. Seeing as Flying press didn't do as much as they'd expected, the told Slagathore to used High Jump Kick instead. The voices in LaKiGr's head were just as casual about the situation, albeit pissed off immensely after loosing Striker. They told LaKiGr to use slash. It might get a crit and deal more than Rock slide.

"Slash!" Ordered LaKiGr

"High Jump Kick!" Responded Slagathore.

Sandrew charged forward, raising it's claws, but before he made it to Resladero, the Hawlucha leapt right upwards. He flipped around mid-air and planted his feet on the ceiling, before pushing off, flipping round again, and slamming it's foot right into Sandrew's face, sending the Sandslash hurling backwards and into the wall, knocking it out. Resladero gave a quick pose after his performance and Slagathore gave a happy cheer, as did the voices in her head. LaKiGr, and his voices both were shocked into silence as they looked on at their defeated friend. Another lost in the same fight. The voices began growing angry very quickly, screaming into LaKiGr's mind before commanding him to send Buttdork out again.

Resladero winced in pain yet again from the poison flowing inside him. Seeing this, and the electric type on the field, they told Slagathore to switch into Dragonite. She nodded. LaKiGr, meanwhile, was still seething with rage and sadness. Two of his friends were knocked out. Meaning that the voices would make him crush them! The voices were busy arguing in LaKiGr's head. One of them wanted to just blast the bird with electricity, but another proposed the idea that the foe wouldn't keep a flying type out. So they would instead use Thunder Wave, to paralyze whatever came out.

"Good Job, Resladero! Get some rest!" Slagathore called out cheerfully, before sending out the behemoth that was, Dragonite. The voices in LaKiGr's head collectively let out a scream of fear and anxiousness upon seeing the beast. LaKiGr continued on with his own plans though.

"Buttdork. Use Thunder Wave." Buttdork sniffed the air and located the scent of Dragonite, before jumping up and firing a wave of electrical energy at the pokémon, causing it to become paralysed, lowering it's speed.

Confident that Buttdork would be unable to touch Dragonite, the voices told Slagathore to start setting up with a dragon dance. Despite the paralysis, it was time for a clean this place up with a good sweep. LaKiGr's voices were still incredibly pissed, despite their fear, and ordered LaKiGr to attack.

"Buttdork! Thunderbolt!" With Dragonite completely paralysed, Buttdork had no problem outspeeding it and launching a massive bolt of electricity at it. But, thanks to multiscale, it barely took any damage at all. LaKiGr's voices began panicking a little again now.

"Dragonite! Use Dragon Dance!" Slagathore said, but a crackle of electricity ran over Dragonite. He was fully paralysed.

Slightly scared of how little damage that thunderbolt did, the voices in LaKiGr's head began discussing the possibility of switching into JohnnyCash. It would be a risk move, since any dragon type move would almost certainly be deadly. But with the foes' dragonite paralysed, It might be their only chance. After a little argument, they decided that they didn't want to have to lose buttdork for a safe switch and that JohnnyCash was their only shot anyway. So they gave LaKiGr the order. Slagathore's on the other hand, stuck to their guns and told Slagathore to go fr Dragon Dance again.

"Alright buttdork. Come back for now. JohnnyCash! Take him down!" LaKiGr called out, throwing out the pokeball for his own Dragonite.

"Dragon dance!" This time, Slagathore's Dragonite was able to overcome it's paralysis and began performing the dragon dance, increasing it's attacking power and speed.

The voices in LaKiGr's mind seemed super relieved that the foe's Dragonite used Dragon dance. Despite the powered up attack, they were sure that they were still faster, thanks to the paralysis. They gave the command to LaKiGr.

"JohnnyCash! ICE BEAM." LaKiGr called out. JohnnyCash took a deep breath before firing a large blast of blue at the fellow Dragon. Slagathore's dragon was unable to react in time, thanks to it's paralysis and it was frozen entirely in a block of ice, knocking the pokémon out.

The voices in Slagathore's head seemed to be rather worried now. For the first time in the match, they were unsure about their victory and actually a little nervous. Never the less, the sent out Dedenne. The small hamster pokémon was part fairy, after all. Taking a page out of the foe's book, the voices in Slagathore's head ordered a Thunder Wave. But, LaKiGr's voices recognized the fairy type threat immediately and ordered LaKiGr to bring Johnny Cash back and instead send out BorkLaser, the Snorlax.

LaKiGr followed the orders and released the large bulking pokémon, only for Dedenne to immediately blast him with Thunder wave, leaving him paralysed, at Slagathore's word.

Slagathore's voice's were trying to think about the fight a little more carefully now. And the Snorlax before them looked very threatening. Worried of incoming normal type attacks, they decided to have Slagathore switch out to Banette. Still fuelled by rage after having lost two of their beloved pokémon, LaKiGr's voices gave the word to let loose BorkLaser's most powerful attack. The Hyper Beam.

As Slagathore began swapping her pokémon, LaKiGr gave his order. "BorkLaser. Unleash the hyper beam!" BorkLaser began to charge with energy and finally, he opened his eyes. Though without letting anyone see his actual eyes, he fired two massive beams of energy from them at the foe. Just before it made contact, Dedenne swapped with Banette, and the attack when right through the ghost type, tearing a hole through the wall instead. Since Slagathore's pokémon took no damage, BorkLaser didn't need to rest after using it.

Now that they were trying to think their plans through a little more, the voices in Slagathore's head decided to use Will-o-wisp, to burn the foe, so that they could cut the Snorlax's massive attack stat directly in half.

"Burn it Banette! Will-o-wisp!" Slagathore called, and the ghost charged up a ball of blue flames to throw at BorkLaser. The ball connected... but did nothing. Since BorkLaser was already paralysed. The voices in both trainer's heads began to laugh at the stupidity, before LaKiGr's voices simply told him to use shadow ball.

"Shadow ball, BorkLaser." LaKiGr said. BorkLaser nodded and charged a black ball of energy between his hands before launching it at Banette, managing to overcome his paralysis yet again. On top of that, the shadow ball tore right through Banette's health with a critical hit, knocking it out immediately!

Slagathore's voices began to panic a little now. They'd lost half there team at this point! It didn't take long for the duo of voices to decide that Slagathore should next bring out Metagross. So she did. LaKiGr's three voices didn't seem too scared by this. They simply gave the order for another shadow ball.

"Shadow Ball, BorkLaser" LaKiGr said. But Snorlax couldn't move. Paralysis had finally struck. Then Slagathore received her order too...

"Metagross! Hammer Arm!" She called out with a bright smile. LaKiGr and his voices both began panicking. Metagross hovered over to the frozen in place BorkLaser, and with one fell swing of it's arm, it slammed BorkLaser down to the ground and knocked it out with a critical hit right back at them.

LaKiGr was starting to lose it. Half of his team were down, and he would later be the one to kill them. If he were to win the fight, that is. Regardless, he was pissed. And the voices in his head weren't exactly very happy either. They called for LaKiGr to sent out Wanda, and hit this, in their own words, "Steely Bastard" with a bite.

Wanda Came out of her pokeball and glared right at Metagross, to intimidate it, but It's clear body kept it's attack from dropping. Regardless, Wanda screeched out and shot at Metagross, biting down onto it like it were made of something much softer than it actually was. Slagathore would have used Meteor Mash in return, but Metagross flinched at the attack, leaving it vulnerable.

Both pokémon were still raring to go at this point, so both sides continued the fight. The voices had LaKiGr use surf this time, to see if the stab helped out at all. But Metagross was still standing after the wave crashed down on him. In Retaliation, Metagross finally managed to use Meteor Mash. It not only took off just under half of Wanda's health, but also buffed up Metagross' attacking power.

Metagross was, by now, on about a third of his total health, while Wanda was still pretty health and above half full on HP. The voices in LaKiGr's head decided that bite was the better move to go with and gave the command. Slagathore's voices, on the other hand, knew that the Gyarados would be faster, so they called for a bullet punch. STAB priority, with the attack buff, might have been enough to take the foe down.

"Quick, Bullet punch" Slagathore called. Metagross suddenly shot forwards, smashing it's clawed leg into Wanda's face. But it wasn't enough.

"Bite." LaKiGr said simply, and Wanda lurched around, grabbing the Metagross in her mouth and crunching down on it, defeating the pokémon, before spitting it back at Slagathore's feet. The voices in her head seemed to be in denial that this was happening, but called for Dedenne to come out regardless.

LaKiGr's voices were adamant to not keep Wanda in against Dedenne. A quad effective thunderbolt was the last thing they wanted to see. After being given the order, LaKiGr called back his Gyarados. "Buttdork! Go!" He announced, with his blind Raichu returning to the field.

"Play rough!" Slagathore said. It seemed as though the voices in her head had expected the switch, so they'd gone for a different approach. The attack knocked Raichu right down to half health.

The voices in LaKiGr's head had no idea what to do now. Wanda and JohnnyCash were both weak to Dedenne, so they couldn't switch in safely. And On top of that, Dedenne resisted 3 of Buttdork's 4 moves. They only really had one choice. And it was not a choice they wanted to make. They would have to leave Buttdork out to take hits, so they could get a clean switch into one of the other pokémon. The moment he heard those words, LaKiGr felt anger burn inside of him. They planned to let Buttdork die! ...But... It was to save the team...

"Dedenne! Play Rough!" Slagathore called out. LaKiGr hated it... but he knew what had to be done.

"Buttdork... Strength." LaKiGr said. The two electrical mouse pokémon began fighting. Despite his lack of sight, Buttdork was able to hold his own, with both pokémon delivering punch after punch at each other until only one remained standing. Buttdork... had fainted. Dedenne had survived, albeit, only barely and on a slither of health.

It was now two on two, and with the choice being sending out Wanda, who was quad weak to Electric, or JohnnyCash, who was only double weak to fairy, the choice was simple. LaKiGr followed the voices' orders and sent out JohnnyCash. They gave LaKiGr the order to use ice beam, since the other attacks would be resisted in some way. Meanwhile, in Slagathore's head, the voices were celebrating. They knew how fast Dedenne was and they had two type advantages. There was no way they could lose at this point. They gave the final attack order to Slagathore.

"Dedenne! Let's end this battle! Use Play Rough!" Dedenne gave a cocky smirk and dashed forwards. He leapt at Dragonite and LaKiGr closed his eyes tightly...

"ICE BEAM!" He yelled, in hopes that Johnny Cash would survive the super effective hit.

...And survive he did. Thanks to Dedenne's lacklustre attack stat and JohnnyCash's own amazing defence, he tanked the Fairy attack incredibly well. The voices in LaKiGr's head let out cheers of Joy as their beloved Dragonite fired off a beam of frozen energy at the mouse. The voices in Slagathore's mind on the other hand, were horrified. And it was too late for them to do anything about it. The ice beam blasted right through Dedenne, finishing off the hamster in an instant, leaving them with only one pokémon. Resladero, the Hawlucha.

Slagathore's smile finally began to fade as she sent out her last pokémon. She was given one last order in a last ditch attempt to win the fight. "Resladero! High Jump Kick!" Resladero leapt up into the sky and came hurtling down towards JohnnyCash, but LaKiGr had already been given his orders.

"Ice beam. Let's end this once and for all!" LaKiGr declared. JohnnyCash looked up at the incoming bird and opened his mouth. He then fired off one last ice beam. And with that... Resladero fainted.

Slagathore watched, dumbfounded as her team was taken down entirely. Then a voice boomed out from nowhere in particular. "NUZLOCKE STATUS: FAILED. FILE DELETION BEGIN." Slagathore began to panic, but she had no say in the matter. She began to vanish into nothingness. She let out a fearful scream but before she could even finish, both her, and her pokémon, were gone. LaKiGr called JohnnyCash back to his pokeball and followed the orders of the voices. He had to find a PC to "bury" his deceased friends…

[Doors Close]

 **K.O.**

Slagathore is deleted from the Game world, leaving Nate and Brett laughing from the shock of losing, before they do their usual outro. Meanwhile, Lani, Kirran and Grant mourn the loss of most of their team while LaKiGr is forced to place the four pokémon into the hydraulic press.

 **Boomstick: Holy shit, that was a pretty close fight!**

Wiz: Mhmm. Both trainers are very powerful, so it only makes sense that this would be a close fight. However, there arr numerous reasons as to why LaKiGr had the advantage. First, let's cover their teams.

 **Boomstick: Slagathore's team is insanely powerful, and it's built around that. All of the pokémon are trained to fight with with an all out offensive strategy. The go out and do as much damage as they can. A perfectly good strategy!**

Wiz: But that kind of strategy has quite a few holes. Especially when compared to LaKiGr's. LaKiGr built his team not just around tough pokémon, but also coverage. He made sure he would always have a pokémon to cover another pokémon's weakness.

 **Boomstick: On top of that, he gave his pokémon smart moves to help cover types in battle too. Like giving BorkLaser Shadow Ball.**

Wiz: Which leads directly into our next point. The trainers themselves. Slagathore has accomplished some amazing feats and trained up a powerful team, But she has made far more deadly mistakes than LaKiGr has over the course of the journey.

 **Boomstick: But LaKiGr nearly wiped out!**

Wiz: LaKiGr's almost loss against Brock was indeed a major misstep, but it's really the only major misstep he's ever made. He has a much firmer grasp on the type chart thanks to the voices in his head fully understanding it. And in addition to that, he's much more capable of thinking ahead and planning out future turns in a battle.

 **Boomstick: And when you compare that to Slagathore, who tends to think in the moment most of the time, while also constantly forgetting some of the harder to remember match-ups of the pokémon type chart, then the difference is clear.**

Wiz: Even comparing losses they've gone through in the past give more proof to why LaKiGr is the better trainer. Using Camerupt and Alex the Fearow as examples, Camerupt was defeated by a super effective move from a weaker pokémon that had a clear type advantage.

 **Boomstick: While Alex was defeated by an unforeseen critical hit, from a pokémon with a clear type DISadvantage, with a move that was only neutral.**

Wiz: Most of the defeats LaKiGr suffered through were not a fault of his own, but rather unforeseen circumstances, while Slagathore simply didn't plan ahead while fighting. The only real advantage Slagathore had in this fight was her Dragonite with Multiscale, but as long as JohnnyCash was around to get off an ice beam after Multiscale was removed, then even that would be easily dealt with. All of this adds up to the fact that she simply was outmatched in terms of team and intelligence.

 **Boomstick: Looks like LaKiGr had this fight Nuz-Locked down**

Wiz: The winner is LaKiGr.

[Doors Close]

 **Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle…**

 **?:** In the daytime, I'm Marinette…. Just a normal girl with a normal life. But there's something about me that no one knows yet. 'Cause I have a secret.

Miraculous! Simply the best! Up to the test when things go wrong! Miraculous! The luckiest! The power of luck, always so strong! Miraculouuuuuus!

MIRACULOUS LADYBUG SWINGS INTO DEATH BATTLE


	9. Episode 9: Ladybug Vs Hyper Blossom

Wiz: The magical girl genre has been a staple in anime for decades. From Sailor Moon to Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

 **Boomstick: And with so many of them floating around, it only makes sense that many of them would start getting similar ideas.**

Wiz: Such is the case with these two shows we'll be covering today. About young girls who transform into yo-yo wielding super heroes to rescue innocent people from being transformed into the villain of the week.

 **Boomstick: Huh. I didn't realize the world was running out of original ideas...**

Wiz: Marinette Dupain-Cheng, The Miraculous Ladybug!

 **Boomstick: And Momoko Akatsutsumi, Hyper Blossom! He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!**

Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons armour ans skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

[Doors Close]

Wiz: For centuries, possibly even longer, the 7 miraculouses have existed on the earth. No one knows exactly how they were created, or who by. But we do know why they were created. To protect the people of the earth…

 **Boomstick: By turning the holder into badass super hero!**

Wiz: Each miraculous is based on an animal. Bee, Turtle, Fox, Peacock, Moth, and finally the two most powerful of them all; The Cat and the Ladybug. And each comes with a cute little partner creature called a Kwami too.

 **Boomstick: Over the many years they've existed, the miraculouses have been used by many many uses. But who is in charge of the ultimate powerful ladybug miraculous in the present..?**

Wiz: A somewhat clumsy and ditsy high-school girl.

 **Boomstick: *Sigh* Of course...**

 **REAL NAME: MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG**

 **AGE: 15**

 **HOMETOWN: PARIS, FRANCE**

 **PARTNER/SIDEKICK: CAT NOIR**

 **OBSESSED WITH ADRIEN AGRESTE**

 **AMBIDEXTROUS**

Wiz: This is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, a young half Chinese, half French girl living in Paris. And when a person activated the Moth Miraculous with evil intent, Master Fu, the holder of the turtle Miraculous, decided that this young girl would be the perfect fit for the next ladybug.

 **Boomstick: The hell made him choose HER of all people?! She's clumsy, forgetful, has super low self esteem...**

Wiz: AHEM! He chose her because of her unwavering optimism and heroic spirit. She would make the perfect candidate to wield the ladybug miraculous.

 **Boomstick: And so, the girl was given a pair of plain black earrings known as the Ladybug Miraculous. Oh and they even come with a free chibi sidekick!**

Wiz: By wearing the miraculous, a creature known as a Kwami is formed. And the Kwami of the ladybug

miraculous is Tikki. And when they fuse…

Marinette: Time to transform. Tikki! Spots on! YEAH!

 **Boomstick: Whoa! That outfit is WAY to skin-tight for a girl of her age...**

 **SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH**

 **SUPERHUMAN SPEED/AGILITY**

 **SUPERHUMAN REACTION TIME**

 **INHERENT GOOD LUCK**

Wiz: This transformation doesn't just give Marinette a... questionably suitable outfit. It also gives her amazing super powers! Such as super strength. Enough strength, in fact, that she was able to fight on par with a Mime capable of cutting down the Eiffel tower.

 **Boomstick: Ugh. Mimes... they're like clowns, but worse...**

Wiz: She's also incredibly durable, capable of taking hits that no ordinary person would ever survive. On top of that, her amazing reaction time and super speed make it so most of the time, she doesn't even need to take such powerful hits.

 **Boomstick: And, on top of everything, she has the most bullshit power of them all. Good luck.**

Wiz: That's right. In France, the Ladybug is a symbol of good luck. And that translates into Marinette's superhero alter ego. This luck allows her to take risks in combat that pretty much always work out perfectly in her favour!

 **Boomstick: How can we even analyse this crap, Wiz? Is it even possible to measure luck?**

Wiz: Well... no, I guess not. But it's still a canon power of hers.

 **Boomstick: Well this is all just her basic powers anyway. What about her more interesting signature abilities?**

 **YO-YO**

 **UNBREAKABLE**

 **INFINITE WIRE LENGTH**

 **RAPID SPIN**

 **GRAPPLING HOOK**

 **COMPUTER/COMMUNICATOR**

 **LUCKY CHARM**

 **SUMMONS A RANDOM OBJECT**

 **ALWAYS SUMMONS EXACTLY WHAT SHE NEEDS**

 **MIRACULOUS LADYBUG**

 **DESTROYS LUCKY CHARM OBJECT**

 **REVERSES ANY DAMAGE CAUSE BY AN AKUMA**

Wiz: I'm glad you asked, Boomstick. Upon transforming, Marinette gains her Miraculous Yo-yo.

 **Boomstick: A fucking yo-yo... why on EARTH would anyone choose a toy as a weapon?!**

Wiz: Well it's not like she chose the yo-yo. It kinda comes with being ladybug. That said, this isn't exactly your ordinary yo-yo anyway. This thing has some serious power. Powered by magic, this yo-yo is completely unbreakable by ordinary means, and it's string length is entirely controlled by "Marinette's will". This essentially means that she can decide how long it needs to be for the situation.

 **Boomstick: She'd better not make it too long. Those suckers are impossible to use if the string is too long.**

Wiz: Not this one, Boomstick. Being magical in nature, Ladybug's yo-yo can be controlled by her with complete ease, and in either hand too.

 **Boomstick: And it can spin so damn fast that it can act as an all purpose shield!**

Wiz: That's right. Lasers, magic, projectiles of any kind. If it's shot at Marinette, her yo-yo can stop it in it's tracks.

 **Boomstick: It's spin attack is so strong, it can even cut clean through a bus with ease. Or it can be used like a helicopter, to slow her decent when falling from up high. And if that isn't gonna cut it, she can hurl it and somehow use it as a grapple, which she can use to then swing around like freakin' Spiderman! Though HOW I have no idea.**

Wiz: Well, actually, much like how Spiderman uses his spider-sense to know where he's swinging with his webs, Ladybug relies on her luck to find grapple-able objects for her yo-yo. And it's never once failed her.

 **Boomstick: AGAIN with the bullshit luck powers?!**

Wiz: I also features a built in computer with the ability to access the internet, contact her partner, Cat Noir, or even track him if she needs to. But none of this comes close to her two most powerful abilities. The Miraculous Ladybug, and the Lucky Charm.

 **Boomstick: So Miraculous Ladybug... has an ability CALLED "the miraculous ladybug"? This is gonna get confusing...**

Wiz: The Lucky Charm is the signature power of the Ladybug Miraculous. Marinette hurls her yo-yo into the sky and uses her power to spawn a random object from thin air. Though said random object will always be the exact thing she needs to achieve whatever goal she has at the moment. From stopping an evil robocop rip off with a pair of oven gloves, to stopping some bully from dancing with the boy she likes, using a record.

 **Boomstick: So she can literally just create exactly what she needs out of thin air? even MORE bullshit!**

Wiz: And finally, the miraculous ladybug move is an ability where she discards the object created by the lucky charm, using it's power to reverse any and all damage done by an Akuma's magic.

 **Boomstick: Hold up. Akuma?!**

Wiz: No, not THAT Akuma. Akuma Butterflies. Insects that transform regular people into super villains. The miraculous ladybug ability can even reverse damage done to herself, her yo-yo or others.

 **Boomstick: Dammit. Now THAT would've been a badass crossover!**

 **FEATS**

 **HOG-TIED A T-REX IN ONE YO-YO SHOT**

 **SURVIVED BEING FLUNG ACROSS PARIS WITH NO DAMAGE**

 **PUSHED CAT NOIR OUT OF THE WAY OF LIGHTNING**

 **BROKE ALL THE LIGHTS IN A ROOM WITH A SINGLE THROW OF A BOUNCY BALL.**

 **TOOK ON LADY WIFI, ROGERCOP, THE EVILLUSTRATOR, A BRAINWASH CAT NOIR AND THE PUPPETEER ALL AT ONCE AND DEFEATED THEM ALL AT ONCE.**

Wiz: Ladybug possesses some amazing levels of skill in all areas. As we mentioned before, she was able to fight the Mime. But on top of that, she was able to hog-tie a T-Rex with a single throw of her yo-yo, and once tripped over a giant mech too.

 **Boomstick: She doesn't just dish it out either. Marinette can take damage for days too! She took hits from the Pigeons of the evil... "Mr. Pigeon."...Ugh. But those pigeons were capable of creating huge dents in solid metal doors.**

Wiz: Not to mention the time that the villain named Stormy Weather used a gust of wind so powerful that it flung Ladybug, her partner, and a collection of cars, across Paris, an entire block at the very least, And she landed perfectly safely on her feet, completely unharmed.

 **Boomstick: While we're on the subject of Stormy Weather, she tried to strike Cat Noir with a bolt of lighting, using her powers of weather control, and Ladybug not only recognized the threat, but was fast enough to pull him out of the way of the attack!**

Wiz: That's right, Ladybug is ludicrously fast. She can even run on walls, no problem in the slightest.

 **Boomstick: And we've not even mentioned her skill level yet! She once got a bouncy ball from her lucky charm, and used the ball the break all of the lights in a room. IN ONE THROW.**

Wiz: Not only would that require and incredible aim and prediction to know where it would ricochet, but it also required enough force behind the throw that the ball wouldn't run out of momentum from crashing into so much stuff.

 **Boomstick: That's not all though. One time, she was facing off with the villain of the week, Puppeteer, as well as three of her old villains AND her partner, who was being controlled to the time. Armed with nothing but her yo-yo, and an extension cord that the lucky charm gave her, she was able effortlessly blitz through and use their own powers against them, all in about 60 seconds! Seriously!**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **MIRACULOUS MAGIC CAN BE USED AGAINST HER**

 **CAN BE CLUMSY IF NOT FOCUSING**

 **LUCKY CHARM ITEM IS ENTIRELY RANDOM**

 **REMOVING HER EARRINGS TURNS HER BACK INTO MARINETTE**

 **LUCKY CHARM DRAINS POWER**

 **UNABLE TO QUICKLY CHANGE BACK INTO LADYBUG**

Wiz: Yeah, there's a reason she acted so quickly like that. Y'see, as amazingly helpful as the Lucky Charm is, it actually drains pretty much all of Ladybug's power. After using the power, she only has about 5 to 10 minutes left until the transformation wears off and she turns back into Marinette. Which would be a problem, since she wouldn't be able to turn back into Ladybug again until Tikki fills up with some food.

 **Boomstick: Ahh, I was wondering what the catch was. That sounded super OP before. And that's not the only problem with the Lucky Charm either! Even thought the item she gets is always exactly what she needs. But it's still completely random. And if it gives Marinette a cabbage or something, it's not gonna give her any clue as to how it's supposed to be used. She'll have to figure that shit out herself.**

Wiz: It's also important to note that while her yo-yo and lucky charm objects are completely indestructible by normal means, they can be take out of commission by magic of equal power, such as other miraculous magic.

 **Boomstick: She's still just a young girl, too. Despite her powers, if she loses focus or becomes distracted, she can get clumsy and make some mistakes.**

Wiz: Most importantly though, if her earrings are, at anytime, removed from her body, then she'll be forcefully turned back into her regular human form. And, without them, it'll be impossible for her to turn back into Ladybug at all. On top of that, her foe could then potentially put them on and take her powers.

 **Boomstick: Leaving her as a regular teenage girl with absolutely no powers, against a foe with super luck. Not a situation you wanna be in.**

Wiz: But Marinette is skilled. She's never had her miraculous removed and she'll do everything she can to stop that from happening. And with luck on her side, who knows. Maybe no one ever will.

Ladybug: Let me make this promise to you. No matter who wants to harm you, Ladybug and Cat Noir will do everything in our power to keep you safe!

[Doors Close]

Wiz: Many years ago, possibly hundreds, the small Japanese town of "Townsville" was under siege. A demon by the name of HIM had been terrorizing the village with the intent of destroying it, for no other reason than his own entertainment.

 **Boomstick: Sick of HIM, A scientist by the name of Professor Pithium began working to create something that could stop the demon once and for all. And eventually, he created a substance that he named Chemical X. Sounds familiar, right?**

Wiz: Using this chemical, Pithium found three heroic young girls and transformed them into heroes, who used their powers to seal HIM away in an iceberg prison. But that wouldn't last forever. Hundreds of years later in the present day, Something odd was happening to the weather around New Townsville, a city that had grown from the small town that had once stood there.

 **Boomstick: At the same time, another scientist called Professor Utonium, and his dorky son Ken, had discovered a new substance mutated from Chemical X, which they named Chemical Z which was capable of altering matter! So Ken had an idea. He loaded the Chemical Z into a gun and shot it at the weather to stop it. Genius. I know...**

Wiz: The resulting explosion not only freed HIM, but it also released tons of Black and White Z rays. When hit with a Black Z Ray, the victim would forcibly turn into a villain of some kind. But the White Z Rays? They hit three young girls and turned them into the new defenders of New Townsville. Rolling Bubbles, Powered Buttercup and Hyper Blossom.

 **REAL NAME: MOMOKO AKATSUTSUMI**

 **AGE: 13**

 **HOMETOWN: NEW TOWNSVILLE**

 **SELF PROCLAIMED LEADER OF THE POWERPUFF GIRLS Z**

 **OBSESSED WITH BOYS**

 **ADDICTED TO CANDY**

 **Boomstick: And today! We'll be focusing on the leader of the three! Hyper Blossom**

Wiz: Well, technically, she's not the leader. In fact, the girls constantly argue over who the true leader of the Powerpuff girls Z is.

 **Boomstick: C'mon, Wiz. Does it really matter?**

Wiz: Well, I guess not... anyway. Meet Momoko Akatsutsumi.

 **Boomstick: God DAMN, that is a mouthful of a name. Imagine if she could do the spinny kick thing from Street fighter!**

Wiz: Momoko was pretty much an ordinary tween high school girl.

 **Boomstick: Ugh...**

Wiz: She's hyperactive, addicted to both boys AND candy. But more than anything else, she absolutely LOVED superheroes. It was always her dream that one day she could become one and help defend both her home town, and the world.

 **Boomstick: That's pretty cool of her, I guess. When I was little, my dream was to one day own my very own warehouse store of weaponry. Specifically shotguns~**

Wiz: Anyway, When Momoko saw the a White Z Ray flying down from the sky towards a defenceless young girl, She had no problem diving in front of the girl to protect her, and in doing so she was transformed into Hyper Blossom.

 **FLIGHT**

 **SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH**

 **BOMB BOW**

 **CARRIES CANDY AT ALL TIMES**

 **Boomstick: Yup. The girl got lucky and became the super hero she had always wanted to be. And she was a very powerful one at that!**

Wiz: As one of the Powerpuff girls Z, Blossom gained many powerful powers. Starting with the basics, she gained incredible strength, allowing her to lift people with absolute ease, or, in one of her first adventures, pick up a truck with no problem.

 **Boomstick: Oh, and she can fly! Those power sneakers she wears? Those babies can somehow give Blossom the power to fly at some incredibly insane speeds! And not just for travel either. Combat too!**

Wiz: In terms of weapons, she travels light, only carrying the bare essentials.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, if by bare essentials you mean a fuckton of candy! Seriously. I think she's addicted. She never goes anywhere without some candy to eat!**

Wiz: Well... yeah, aside from Candy, that ribbon in her hair can also function as a boomerang like weapon. And on top of that, it's actually a powerful explosive!

 **Boomstick: But that explosive is absolutely nothing compared to her greatest weapon. Her Yo-yo!**

 **YO-YO**

 **SHOOTS LASERS**

 **TOPSPIN ATTACK**

 **LIGHTNING YO-YO**

 **POWERPUFF Z OUTFIT**

 **BELT POWER SOURCE**

 **DURABLE AS TITANIUM**

 **FLEXIBLE/EXTREME ELASTICITY**

 **FLAME/IMPACT RETARDANT**

 **MIND ALTERING DISGUISE**

Wiz: Hyper Blossom's Yo-yo is a powerful weapon, and it requires pretty much no wind up. She can simply shoot it off to smash into her foes with a flick of her wrist.

 **Boomstick: But more importantly, it can somehow fire pink lasers as projectile attacks! Oh, and she has a ton of different attacks, most of them named after sweets.**

Wiz: Actually, that's not entirely true. Blossom's yo-yo actually only has four attacks, and she simply changes the name every single time she uses one of them. The first two we've covered. A basic yo-yo shot and a laser projectile that can be fired one at a time or as a barrage. Her next attack is the Top Spin attack. This attack has Blossom extend her hand to throw the yo-yo, and the weapon automatically reels itself back and forth at and unimaginable speed, hitting the target repeatedly.

 **Boomstick: Damn, that is some Fist of the North Star shit right there. But, y'know... with a pre-teen superhero's yo-yo, instead of Kenshiro's badass fucking punching.**

Wiz: Finally, there is the Lightning yo-yo.

 **Boomstick: This attack is just downright insane. Hyper blossom charges her yo-yo with electricity and hurls it at her foe. The yo-yo then grows giant, splits in half, and CRUSHES THE FOE BETWEEN THEM. All while pumping electricity into them. Fuck awesome!**

Wiz: That just about covers Hyper Blossom's weaponry and attacking skills, but it's important we go over her Powerpuff outfit too. It's not just for style after all. In fact, it should be noted that pretty much all of the girls powers come from the outfit itself. Her power sneakers provide her flight and speed, her ribbon is an explosive, her super strength and skill comes directly from her belt and her amazing durability comes from her clothes.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, This outfit is also really fuckin' tanky. When Professor Utonium had a chance to analyse the outfits while doing the laundry, he discovered that the mol- molar...**

Wiz: He discovered that the Molecular structure was incredibly thing and flexible, while also incredibly similar to titanium.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, what he said. It's also resistant to fire, large impacts, but for some reason, it's delicate when being washed, and can only be hand washed in lukewarm water. Weird.**

Wiz: Most interestingly of all, though. Whoever wears this outfit will be instantly recognized as that Powerpuff girl, regardless of how different they look. During his research, Utonium tried on Rolling Bubbles' outfit and his son walked in on him. But despite being a great deal taller, and MALE, his own son genuinely thought he was talking to Bubbles. It can only be assumed the outfit has some kind of mind altering affect one viewers when worn by someone.

 **Boomstick: Hold up one fucking second! Why the HELL did the professor try on Bubbles' outfit?!**

Wiz: Well... I'd assume as part of his research. But I have no idea what he'd be researching by doing so... Frankly, I'm not sure I want to know...

 **FEATS**

 **HELD UP A TRUCK**

 **HELD UP A STEEL ELEVATOR 1 HANDED**

 **YO-YO CAN BREAK STEEL**

 **THREW MOJO JOJO TO THE MOON**

 **BROKE THE MOON IN HALF**

 **Boomstick: AHEM. Moving on, Hyper blossom has some incredible displays of strength. On time she held up a steel elevator of people with only one hand. And another time she was able to lift a tuck above her head with complete ease!**

Wiz: And that was without her weapon as well. With her yo-yo, she's able to effortlessly punch through steel like it's paper, and that's not even mentioning the time she used her yo-yo to throw Mojo Jojo all the way to the Moon.

 **Boomstick: JESUS! That must take some incredible force.**

Wiz: It gets even more insane. That's not even her greatest display of strength.

 **Boomstick: Oh, of course! We can't forget about he time she BROKE THE FUCKING MOON IN HALF!**

Wiz: In one of their arguments about who should be the leader of the group, the girls decided that they would have a race to the moon, And the winner would be the leader. But, due to lack of paying attention, the three of them collided with the moon and... it broke perfectly in half.

 **Boomstick: With a little help from a cool dude by the name of** **Darkanine** **, we discovered that on the lower end of the scale, the kind of force needed to do this would be MASSIVE.**

Wiz: To be exact, 1861.67 Septillion tons. Or, around 620 Septillion tons per Powerpuff Girl Z. And keep in mind, this is a significant low ball too!

 **Boomstick: You wouldn't think a little girl could be this strong!**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **VULNERABLE TO FREEZING**

 **LOW STAMINA**

 **EASILY DISTRACTED, ESPECIALLY BY BOYS AND CANDY**

 **YO-YO CAN BE CUT**

 **POWERS LESSEN WHEN OVERUSED**

 **COVERING HER SOLES STOPS HER FLIGHT**

 **EFFORTLESSLY DEFEATED BY DUCHESS MORBUCKS**

Wiz: While she IS powerful, that amount of power is balanced by a LOT of weaknesses. For one, Hyper Blossom has no defence against freezing, and someone with powers could easily freeze her in place.

 **Boomstick: Plus she sucks at long term fighting. She's got super low stamina, a lot of the time having to take breaks mid-fight to eat something, drink some tea, or fuel her candy addiction. Plus, as strong as all of her powers are, the more she uses them in one transformation, the weaker they get.**

Wiz: Her Yo-yo is still just a yo-yo too, and can have it's string snapped. If that's done, then she's without her yo-yo until next time she transforms.

 **Boomstick: Also, Remember what we said before about all of her powers actually stemming from her outfit? Well, that includes her flight. There are these little jet things on her soles, and if they're covered up, even by something as flimsy as duct tape, then she'll be completely grounded an unable to fly. And keep in mind, she only has her super speed when she's flying. Her running speed is exactly the same as the average high school girl.**

Wiz: Most importantly, though, unlike her original cartoon counterpart, Hyper Blossom is a horrible strategist. Not only does she constantly lose track of what she's doing if there is candy or cute boys near her, but her plans simply aren't that clever.

 **Boomstick: Take for example this time she was completely and utterly defeated by Princess Morbucks' Older sister, Duchess Morbucks. Or the time they had to catch Mojo Jojo at the top of an under construction tower. Wanting to catch Mojo by surprise, Blossom had her team wear magnet boots and walk up the side of the tower slowly... WHEN THEY CAN FLY!**

Wiz: The PPGZ could have achieved the same effect and more by simply rocketing up with their jet boots and attacking Mojo Jojo from behind. Blossom may be incredibly powerful, but she's still a 13 year old tween and has a lot to learn about strategy.

 **Boomstick: Still, She cracked the moon in half. With that kinda power backing up her strikes, strategy CAN take a back seat every now and again.**

Blossom: Look you guys, we're in the final montage here, so I'm trying to sum everything up in time for the ending. I'd appreciate a little help if you know what I mean.

[Doors Close]

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

 **Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!**

In the streets of Paris, France, Momoko Akatsutsumi was skipping along happily. A lollipop in her mouth, and two bags filled with various candies in her hands. she was humming softly to herself when she noticed a pitch black butterfly fluttering by. Intrigued, Momoko followed it. She's never seen a butterfly like that before. As she continued to follow it, she spotted a young girl sitting on a bench looking depressed. But before she could say anything to her, the butterfly landed on the girl's glasses and vanished into them. In the next moment, the young girl transformed into some kind of super villain.

The girl let out an evil laugh and threw lasers at Momoko, incinerating her bags of candy before flying off. "Wha..? M-my candy? MY CANDY!" She yelled out angrily. "Ok, the black Z rays have gone too far this time! They're even ruining my vacation! Time to turn that girl back to normal!" She yelled, reaching into her pocket and pulling out her PPGZ logo. She clipped it into her belt and...

"HYPER BLOSSOM!" She yelled out, and after a small transformation sequence, Momoko had been replaced by her alter ego, Hyper Blossom. And, without a moment's wait, she blasted off after the fiend who destroyed her candy.

xXxXxXxXx

Marinette had just finished meeting up with her friend, Alya, and was taking a nice stroll home through Paris. With no one around, Tikki was sitting on Marinette's shoulder and chatting. Mostly about Marinette's fear of talking to her crush, Adrien.

"I'm just saying, Marinette. If you like him so much eventually you'll have to..." Tikki said, before cutting herself off and sniffing the air.

"Hmm? What is it, Tikki?" Marinette asked. "Is it an Akuma?"

"I think so... Look! Up there!" Tikki said, pointing upwards in time for Marinette to see a girl with long orange hair and a pink outfit flying over head.

"Someone with super powers flies over head just as you sense an Akuma, huh? I think it's time to transform! Tikki, Spots on! YEAH!" Marinette called out, and Tikki flew into Marinette's earring. And, a moment later, Marinette had become Ladybug. She whipped out her yo-yo and hurled it upwards, grappling onto the gutter of a nearby building and pulled herself up with ease. One she landed on the roof, she quickly hurled her yo-yo out and grappled it onto the ankle of the pink flying girl. "And where do you think you're going."

Before Hyper Blossom had a chance to reply, Ladybug gave a tight yank and pulled her in closer. Hyper Blossom quickly span around and gave a powerful kick, knocking the yo-yo off of her foot. The yo-yo flew right back at Ladybug, who had no problem realigning and catching it.

"Umm, excuse me? I'm kinda busy right now. I have to go and get revenge for what she did to my candy!" Hyper blossom shouted right back at Ladybug.

Ladybug folder her arms and shook her head. "Superpowers AND trying to undo some kind of wrong doing against you? Yeah, you're definitely akumatized. Don't worry. I'll have you back to normal in no time!" Ladybug replied, getting into a battle stance and spinning her yo-yo around to create her shield.

Hyper Blossom glared at Ladybug. "I don't have time for this. I'll deal with you quickly and get back to avenging my candy!" She said, preparing her own yo-yo.

 **FIGHT**

Immediately, Hyper Blossom gave two swings of her yo-yo, shooting off two laser blasts at Ladybug. But Ladybug effortlessly swung her yo-yo shield around, dissipating the lasers. Then without breaking her stride she leapt forward at Hyper Blossom. She swung her yo-yo down at blossom's head, but she dodged back and swung her own weapon back around. They each continued to swing to each other, just barely blocking or dodging the attacks before Ladybug's yo-yo got a lucky hit across Blossom's face, stunning her for a split second, which Ladybug took advantage of by kicking Hyper Blossom off of the roof.

Ladybug peered over the ledge of the roof, to see if her foe was falling, but sure enough, Hyper Blossom was instead shooting right back upwards. She flew straight up at an incredible speed and delivered an uppercut to Ladybug's chin, sending her up into the air with a grunt of pain. Then, Blossom threw her yo-yo after her, tying it around Ladybug's ankle and using it to swing her back down, slamming her down onto the roof of the building.

Ladybug kicked the yo-yo off of herself and hopped up to her feet, spinning her own yo-yo around like a shield once again. Then, with a flick of her wrist, she sent the weapon flying at Blossom. Hyper Blossom responded by throwing her own Yo-yo back, and the two weapons collided in mid-air, bouncing back to their wielders. Then they tried again. And again. And they kept going, each and every time they threw their weapon, their foe counted and the two yo-yo's remained locked in a deadlock.

Quickly growing annoyed by the lack of progress, Hyper Blossom decided it was time to try something different. "Topspin attack!" She yelled out, hurling her yo-yo at Ladybug in a rapid fire fashion. Unable to counter the move, Ladybug instead opted to used her shield spin to block the incoming hits, inching backwards slowly as the yo-yo repeatedly slammed into her own. Finally, Ladybug had a plan. she thrust her yo-yo shield forward, causing it's spinning to wrap around Hyper Blossom's yo-yo, stopping the Topspin attack in its tracks. Then with a strong pull, She yanked Blossom in closer, only deliver a kick to her face, knocking Blossom to the floor.

Blossom rolled onto her back and glared up at Ladybug, before smirking. "Fine. You wanna fight me that bad? Try and catch me!" She said, before blasting off into the sky. Nowhere near the roof they were fighting on, but rather above the street. "Ha! You can't fly! Good luck beating me n-" Before she could finish the sentence, Ladybug had already hurled her yo-yo at Blossom and smacked it right into her forehead, before reeling it back to her hand.

"You were saying?" Ladybug said smugly. Hyper Blossom growled and began flying around the building at an incredible speed, firing off lasers down at Ladybug. She reacted quickly, spinning her yo-yo again and blocking the incoming lasers, as she looked around for a way to get Hyper Blossom back down. She soon spotted a nearby street light and ran towards it, still blocking the lasers.

Ladybug leapt off of the building and hurled her yo-yo at the street light and grappled onto it. Then, using her momentum from her fall she swung down and right back up, ungrappled from the street light and smacked right into Hyper Blossom in mid-air, fist first. The two of them fell right back down onto the rooftop, both managing to land fairly well. Ladybug began running towards Hyper Blossom when...

"STOOOOP!" Hyper Blossom shouted. Ladybug's weapon quit spinning for a moment and she stopped in her tracks.

"H-huh..?" She said, confused.

"I'm tired. Snack break!" Hyper Blossom said happily, pulling handful of cookies from her pockets and she began munching away.

"...You're kidding, right? We're in the middle of a fight." Ladybug said, not sure if she even believed Blossom.

"I NEVER joke about snacks. Here, you want some?" She said cheerfully, offering Ladybug some cookies. Ladybug raised and eyebrow and took one of the cookies.

"Umm... thanks, I guess?" She replied. As she went to take a bite of the biscuit she'd been given.

"OKBREAKTIME'SOVER!" Hyper Blossom suddenly yelled, her energy refilled. And giving Ladybug no time to react, she delivered a swift and powerful kick to the side of Ladybug's face, sending her flying right off of the building and right into the concrete street below.

Ladybug pulled herself back up to her feet, groaning and rubbing her head slightly. "Ugh. CHEAP SHOT!" She shouted up at Blossom, grumpily. She took the opportunity to look over Blossom's body and see if she could find where the Akuma would be hiding. And three things stuck out to her in particular. The ribbon, the yo-yo and the belt. Those three seemed the most likely at least.

As if on cue, Blossom removed her bow and leaned back, getting ready to throw. "Boomerang Bow!" She announced, hurling the bow down at Ladybug. She was prepared to catch the bow and break it, when she noticed it flashing. It was an explosive! Ladybug quickly smacked it with her yo-yo, sending it up into the air again, where it harmlessly exploded.

Blossom was super annoyed by now. Her soles lit up again and she took of, flying down at Ladybug at an insane speed, and flying right past her, giving a quick punch as she did. Then she flew past again. And again. Each time she flew past, she punched Ladybug, giving her no time to defend herself, before finally stopping right next to Ladybug and uppercutting her chin once again, sending her hurtling further down the street.

Ladybug was able to land on her feet, though she looked a little roughed up. She cleared her throat a little as she went over her thoughts. "The flying, the speed, the strength. I need a way to limit her somehow..." she muttered to herself, looking down at her yo-yo. "Alright. Here goes!" she said, hurling her yo-yo into the air. "LUCKY CHARM!"

Her yo-yo began to flash and glow brightly, before spawning an object from nowhere which fell down and into Ladybug's hand. She reeled her yo-yo back into her other hand while looking over the object. "...Flypaper? What am I supposed to do with this?"

Hyper Blossom prepped her yo-yo for another throw and the weapon began to charge with electricity. "Alright, enough games. It's time to end this now. LIGHTNING YO-YO!" She shouted out, hurling the yo-yo at Ladybug. And as it got closer, the yo-yo began growing larger and larger, while splitting apart, until it was almost as big as one of the buildings surrounding them. Ladybug's eyes grew wide for a moment, but then she steeled herself. She was ready for this. She charged forward towards the giant yo-yo and as soon as she stepped between the two sides of the yo-yo, it began to clamp down slowly. Bolts of electricity zapped all around Ladybug who just barely leapt and ducked between them, avoiding damage. She leapt up onto one of the yo-yo's sides and ran across it, wall jumping to the other side before managing to jump safely out of the other side of the yo-yo, just in time to avoid the two sides slamming closed.

"Wha? How did you..?!" Blossom said, shocked. Her yo-yo shrank back down to normal size and she began to reel it back into her hand. But, Ladybug acted quickly and grabbed a hold of it as it was reeling back and grabbed the string with her other hand. With all her strength, the snapped the string and broke the yo-yo itself in half, expecting to see the Akuma fly out. But it didn't.

"Still no Akuma, huh? I guess it's in the belt."

"Y-you... you broke my yo-yo!" Yelled Blossom angrily, blasting off at top speed towards Ladybug. She saw Hyper Blossom coming though and quickly sidestepped the attack.

"I'm gonna need to hold her still or slower down or something... Think think think..." Ladybug muttered to herself. The world around her seemed to turn pure grey as she began trying to think up a plan. The flypaper in her hand flashed red with black dots, as did Hyper Blossom's shoes. "Huh... I got it! Her soles are what are powering her flight!"

Hyper Blossom turned on the spot and blasted right back at her foe yet again, ready to punch Ladybug right in the face with the maximum amount of force she possibly could. In response, Ladybug ripped her piece of fly paper into two pieces.

Just as Blossom got right up close, time almost seemed to slow down around them. Ladybug jumped backwards, performing a backwards handstand and rolling back in a cartwheel, just barely dodging Blossom's in coming attack, and also quickly slapping the two strips of fly paper onto the soles of Hyper Blossom's shoes, blocking off the propulsion of her super speed flight.

With her flight cut off, Blossom fell to the ground with a loud thud and rolled down the street a little, slowly pulling herself to her feet, rubbing her sore head.

"Alright! Time to de-evilize!" Ladybug called out and with one strong throw, she hurled her yo-yo at the one potential spot where the Akuma could be hiding. The P logo on Hyper Blossom's Belt. Blossom saw the incoming attack and tried to fly out of the way, only to be stopped by the fly paper covering her soles.

"W-wait, what..." Before Hyper Blossom could finish that thought, the yo-yo collided with the belt buckle and grinded against it for a few seconds... before it shattered. With the Powerpuff girl Z logo gone, Hyper Blossom instantly transformed back into her regular Momoko form. And with no power suit protecting her anymore... Ladybug's yo-yo continue on it's path, shooting straight through Momoko's stomach, impaling her and splatting blood over the street behind her.

Momoko gasped for breath as Ladybug's yo-yo reeled back out of her. And she collapsed to her knees. She coughed up a little blood before collapsing on the street, dead, with blood pooling beneath her.

"N-no Akuma..?! But then..." Before she could finish that thought, Ladybug's yo-yo began beeping. She opened it up, it was Cat Noir.

"Hey, Bugaboo? I kinda need your help over by the museum. There's an akumatized villain over here. I've kinda been waiting for you to show up." Cat Noir said

"...Yeah, I'll be right there Cat Noir. Bug out." she said, closing the yo-yo communicator. She didn't have time to dwell on this. She had to help Cat Noir after all. She needed to transform back any second now, and recharge Tikki. Without looking back, she swung off to a nearby alley to turn back to Marinette

[Doors Close]

 **K.O.**

Ladybug swings down into an empty alley and lands just in time for her miraculous to wear off, and turn her back into Marinette. Tikki reappears and Ladybug feeds her one of the cookies she took from Hyper Blossom. Meanwhile, Momoko's bleeding body lays in the middle of the street and Anime!HIM emerges form the shadows. He giggled and swipes up her body, vanishing with it.

 **Boomstick: Ewwww... Gory... I love it!**

Wiz: When we started researching this fight, we honestly thought it was going to be very one sided in Ladybug's favour. But after we really looked into the Powerpuff girls Z, it turned out to be closer than we thought.

 **Boomstick: But in the end, it didn't help Momoko out that much.**

Wiz: First, let's cover the first issue you're probably thinking off. Strength. It's completely true that Hyper Blossom it FAR stronger than Ladybug. The moon feat alone proves this. Ladybug has absolutely no feats that match up to the sheer strength Momoko showed when she and her team mates broke the moon in half.

 **Boomstick: But unfortunately, that amount of power alone isn't enough to take down Ladybug. firstly, while it's not exactly easy to measure, her insane luck is still a factor. And even if it wasn't, Ladybug is actually a HELL of a lot faster than Hyper Blossom.**

Wiz: It's true. If we look back at the help we had from Darkanine, When the Powerpuff girls Z broke the moon, at the end of the episode the flew as fast as they could back to the moon to fix it. Using the high-balled calculation of the speed it took, that would mean Hyper Blossom can fly at a whopping 72,375,000 Meters per Second. Or around Mach 211005.8

 **Boomstick: How the hell could Ladybug POSSIBLY be faster than that?!**

Wiz: Well, put simply, Remember when I mentioned she pushed herself and Cat Noir safely out of the way of a bolt of lighting? Well, lightning strikes at around 98,348,800 Meters per Second. Even if we were to significantly low-ball this feat to say Ladybug moves at the exact same speed as lighting, that would make her 25,973,800 Meters per second FASTER than Hyper Blossom.

 **Boomstick: Damn! and with that kind of speed, plus her bullshit luck powers, she could easily dodge that amazing strength Hyper Blossom has.**

Wiz: From there, all Marinette needed to do was limit Momoko, which is really not all that hard to do. If she were to cover the soles of Hyper Blossom's shoes some how, then that would be it. Despite her strength, Momoko would be absolutely defenceless with no flight, and no super speed. Considering that is her greatest weakness, it stands to reason that if Ladybug wanted to defeat Hyper Blossom, the lucky charm would give her a way to cover the shoes.

 **Boomstick: And even if it didn't, considering how much faster Marinette is, she could probably take her down anyway, despite Blossom's flight. Ladybug has dealt with flying foes before after all!**

Wiz: And while Hyper Blossom's outfit is incredibly durable, her belt being the power source kind of nullifies that, since it's out in the open for anyone to attack. If the belt is broken or even if the logo is simply removed from it, then Hyper Blossom just becomes plain old Momoko.

 **Boomstick: And, on top of everything else we've already discussed... Marinette is much. Much. MUCH smarter than Momoko. Both in terms of basic intelligence and strategic planning too.**

Wiz: To sum everything up Hyper Blossom had more strength, but Ladybug was a clear winner in every other category, no contest."

 **Boomstick: Looks like Hyper Blossom got... Yo-Yowned**

Wiz: The winner is Miraculous Ladybug

[Doors Close]

 **Boomstick: Next time on death battle…**

?-Male: Yo Yo Yo! Pay attention because Jake Long is in the heezy!

?-Female: Please tell me this isn't happening. *chiming noise* Oh. Okay, okay. I get it. It's happening.


	10. Bonus! DBX Episode 1: Blossom VS Bowser

So this is just a mini thing I thought I'd put out while i work on the next fight, which I'll fully reveal at the end if you can't figure out who the characters are.

Anyway. This fight had no research done. It's just a bonus. AND a sequel to Princess VS Bowser Junior!

Enjoy!

* * *

NO RULES

JUST BLOODSHED

DBX!

* * *

Bowser sat peacefully in his throne, eyes closed as he awaited his son's return. Bowser Junior had taken a day trip to city known as Townsville to look for new potential weapons or materials for future plans. What Bowser didn't know, was that a very different spoiled brat was coming to pay him a visit. Suddenly, the door to his throne room burst open, and a young red headed girl, wearing a yellow and black dress, entered, crying.

Bowser's eyes shot open and he immediately glared at the intruder. "HEY! Who let you in, runt?!" Bowser roared out as Princess approached. Princess kept on crying though.

"Oh, mister Bowser. It's awful!" she cried, drying her eyes. Bowser raised an eyebrow.

"Do I know you..?" He growled out, confused. Princess simply shook her head.

"I-i'm a friend of your son. I met him In Townsville and we were planning evil stuff together... b-but then..." She cut herself off to cry some more. Bowser began to feel worried. Where WAS junior?!

"Well?! Spit it out already!" Bowser yelled at her. Finally, princess stopped her crying long enough to talk.

"Th-these girls... enemies of mine... They showed up and... and their leader, Blossom... s-she killed Bowser Junior!" At that moment, something immediately snapped in Bowser's mind. He wasn't sure how to feel. His mind flipped between heavily sad and majorly angry rapidly, before he finally settled on angry. He stood up from his throne and let out a deafening roar.

"Don't worry, kid. I'm gonna find this Blossom and make sure she suffers for what she's done!" Bowser spoke, before stomping out of the room.

The moment Bowser had left the room, Princess sniffled a little before immediately stopping her crying and instead giggling, which quickly grew into maniacal laughter. "What an idiot! I can't believe he fell for it." She hovered over to the screen hanging on the wall and changed the channel to a Townsville news station. No doubt the upcoming fight would be broadcast. "This is gonna be fun to watch~"

Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup had been enjoying a day off of fighting crime. Days free of monsters and criminals were hard to come by after all. The girls had gotten a call through the hotline about Princess Morbucks, and some tiny dragon-like creature, rampaging around town while fighting.

The three girls flew over the streets, before finally coming to a stop at the scene where the fight ended. Mechanical parts and scraps of metal lay strewn about randomly. And, laying right in the center of the scene was a flaming and headless body of what the girls could only assume was the dragon Princess had been fighting.

Bubbles gasped at the sight and covered her mouth, while tears pooled in her eyes. "Oh, that poor baby dragon..."

"Geez... Princess really did a number on that thing." Buttercup said, looking over the sight. "I'm almost a little impressed... almost..."

Blossom looked over the place, unsure of exactly what had happened. Why was princess fighting in the first place. It couldn't be for a good reason, that was for sure. She finally heard Bubbles' whimpering. She flew over to her sister, patting her shoulder comfortingly.

"I hope the little thing's up in heaven now..." Bubbles said softly.

Blossom nodded. "Don't worry, Bubbles. I'm sure he is." That was when the three girls began to hear an odd whirring noise. A shadow cast over the three of them and they glanced up to see a very odd sight. A large flying ship, shaped like a clown face. Suddenly, a large shadow leapt from the ship and landed before them. He looked just like the dead little dragon thing... only much bigger.

The creature looked at junior's body and gasped out, before closing it's eyes and letting out a low growl.

Bubbles blinked, wiping the tears from her eyes. "L-look! That must be the mama dragon"

"Mama?! I'm the PAPA dragon. King Bowser! Now where is Blossom?!" Bowser roared out. Before Blossom had a chace to respond though, Bubbles flew over to him.

"Mr King Bowser. I'm so very sorry about this. No parent should have t-" Before she could finish what she was saying, Bowser took a deep breath in and launched a massive fireball at Bubbles. She was caught of guard and the fireball blasted Bubbles backwards and through a concrete building wall with ease. She was completely knocked out.

"Bubbles!" Blossom called out. She turned to bowser but...

"HEY! No one hurts my sister!" Buttercup yelled out. "I got this, Blossom!" Buttercup blasted at Bowser, with an outstretched fist. Bowser flung his own fist back at her and the two punches collided. Bowser was pushed back a little, surprised by the girl's strength. Regardless, he growled and suddenly swung his other fist around, knocking Buttercup to the ground.

Bowser crouched down a little before hopping up and drop kicking Buttercup. Just like Bubbles, Buttercup was sent flying, crashing through what was left of the wall, also out of commission.

"So... You're Blossom?" Bowser asked, glaring directly at her with a look of pure anger. "You're DEAD!" He suddenly roared out. Blossom glaced at her unconscious sisters before scowling at Bowser and preparing to fight.

HERE WE GO!

Bowser let out a deafening roar before charging forward towards Blossom. He raised and claw and once in range, swung it down, slashing at Blossom. At the last possible second, she dashed out of the way, moving fast enough that all was left of her was a pink light. Bowser quickly followed the beam of light to see the girl blasting right towards him, ready to punch. Bowser just stood there, grinning. There was no way a little girl like her could... WHAM!

Blossom delivered a powerful punch to the face and Bowser was sent hurtling backwards through the air. He smashed into the ground on his back, his shell tearing up the road, before he bounced and landed back on his feet again, growling. Blossom didn't let up and flew at him again, blasting past him repeatedly and hitting him from all angles. Just before she came in for another hit, Bowser retreated into his shell and performed a spin attack, managing to catch Blossom off guard and cancel her attack.

Bowser quickly came out of his shell and grabbed Blossom in his claw, slamming her against the ground before throwing her down the street. She let out a pained yell as she bounced off the concrete. Bowser's shell then somehow curled up into a ball and he began to roll rapidly on the spot, almost like a spin-dash.

Bowser shot forward like a cannonball towards Blossom, who was still getting to her feet. But she was still ready to respond. The moment he was close enough, Blossom delivered a powerful uppercut, sending Bowser, still in a ball, up into the sky. But the koopa king used this to his advantage. While in the air, he came out of his shell once again and performed the Bowser Bomb attack.

Blossom quickly flew out of the way as Bowser slammed into the ground and she flew up into the sky to try and get out of his reach. Blossom's eyes began glowing bright red and she fired two lasers from her eyes down at Bowser, blasting him in the back of the head. He scratched at the small burn left behind and gave a low growl.

Bowser turned around, took a deep breath, and fired a volley of several fireballs up at the powerpuff. As the fireballs homed in, Blossom began glowing lightly with a pink aura. In a flash, she was surrounded by an energy construct of a dust buster. She aimed downwards and the construct began sucking in. The fireballs were all sucked right into the vacuum and she took aim at Bowser. Then the construct switched to reverse and shot the fireballs right back at Bowser.

Bowser swung his claws, slashing clean through the fireballs to dissipate them as they were about to connect. Blossom, meanwhile, got rid of her Vacuum construct and created a staple gun. Using it, she fired off a round of energy staples down at Bowser. Before he noticed, staples suddenly collided with Bowser's wrists and ankles, pushing him back and pinning him against a nearby building.

Blossom began flying down towards Bowser, ready to attack again, while Bowser struggled against his restraints. Finally, he managed to pull one of his claws free, the staple falling to the ground. He reached over to his other claw and attempted to pull that one free next, but it was stuck in tight. He gave a roar and with on last yank, right before Blossom hit him, he pulled the staple free.

At the last possible second, he swung his claw around and grabbed Blossom out of the air. Giving two strong kicks, he pulled his legs free of their staples and slammed Blossom against the wall instead, using the energy staple to pin HER to the by her neck. Blossom struggled against the staple, But Bowser pinned her with a LOT of force. He crouched down again, much like he had done with Buttercup earlier. Then he jumped, and slammed his feet into Blossom with a drop kick.

Blossom led out a scream of pain as she was knocked right through the building she was pinned too and into ANOTHER building, the collision causing it to collapse right on top of her. Bowser began stomping over as Blossom, heavily weakened began pulling herself from the rubble. She needed a plan, and fast. Bowser glared right at her and took in another deep breath. Blossom, having come up with the only plan she could think of, also took in a deep breath.

Bowser let loose, firing off a huge stream of fire at Blossom. Blossom countered with an equally huge stream of her ice breath. The two of them collided, the flames melting the ice into water, which in turn, put out the fire, keeping the two streams equal. Perfect for Blossom to buy time and come up with a better strategy. The water even flowed into a drain near Blossom, which was kinda helpful for keeping the place tidy.

Bowser wasn't having that though. He roared into his attack, increasing the intensity of his flames. They quickly grew in size and blasted through Blossom's ice breath. Her eyes widened as she was engulfed by the flames. After a good five seconds of an intense Koopa Roast, Bowser finally stopped to take a breath. When he looked up, nothing was left where Blossom was except a very singed bow and a few strands of orange hair.

Bowser stomped over and snatched up the bow. His trophy, before letting out one final roar of victory and stomping away.

Beep. Beep.

He returned the the corpse of Bowser Junior and closed his eyes for a moment. He knew Kamek would likely be able to revive Junior, but it was still an awful sight to see.

Beep. Beep.

He reached down to pick up his son's body when he finally noticed that noise.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

He looked down at the bow in his claw to see it suddenly had a timer in the center. 3. 2. 1. His eyes suddenly grew wide.

BOOM!

The bow exploded with intense force, launching Bowser high up into the sky. "Gotcha~" Came Blossom's voice. She suddenly burst out of the drain that the water was flowing to earlier, while obviously lacking her bow, and flew up after Bowser. She zipped past him multiple times delivering a small flurry of punches before taking a deep breath. Bowser had no time to react. The next thing he knew, Blossom unleashed her ice breath one final time, encasing him entirely in a block of ice. Blossom flew above Bowser and caught him, the two of them coming to a stop FAAAR above the earth, just barely still within the atmosphere. And then, Blossom leaned back and hurled the frozen Koopa right back down.

His eyes darted around from within the ice as he tried in vain to break free. A few moments later, he was back within the skyline of Townsville. And then... SMASH!

Blossom flew down and landed on the street, looking around. Junior's headless body was still laying there, his broken machines were scattered around, and the were small chunks of ice all over, each containing a small fragment of what was once Bowser. "Hmph. Don't mess with my sisters." Blossom said, before flying off to check on Bubbles and Buttercup.

DBX

Princess watched on Television as Blossom flew away from the fight still in one piece, seething with anger. "GAH! Stupid koopa! You should've been able to survive that! I heard you survived a black hole! Ugh..." Her anger began to calm and she gave a smirk. "I still have my chemical X after all. I'll still be able to make myself some..." She looked down at the vial in her hand to see it was empty. "W-wha... WHAT?!"

Meanwhile, just outside the room...

Kamek the magikoopa floated on his broomstick, using his wand to suspend the liquid chemical x in midair, before placing it into a vial of his own. "If this chemical X is as powerful as that little brat says... I can bring back King Bowser and Prince Junior even more powerful than ever! Ehh-hehehehe!"

To be continued? Maybe. I dunno.

* * *

Boomstick: Next time on death battle.

Elder man's voice: ...You have much to learn, young Dragon

?: Aww Maaaaan!

He's Cool, He's hot, like a frozen sun. He's young, and fast, He's the chosen one. People We're not braggin'! He's the American Dragon!

JAKE LONG BRINGS THE FIRE TO DEATH BATTLE

...VS...

...In a world full of monsters and demons, June is the only one who sees them. When evil beasts start their plotting and scheming, She kicks butt and sends them home screaming, Sends them home screaming..!

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! You can't stop the girl!

JAKE LONG VS JUNIPER LEE: Coming Soon!


	11. Episode 10: Jake Long VS Juniper Lee

Wiz: For centuries, the human world and the magical world have coexisted in peace, separated by a magical barrier that keeps us all safe from total chaos.

 **Boomstick: But when this barrier starts to weaken and all hell threatens to break loose, it's up to these two Asian-American teenagers with attitude to save the day.**

Wiz: Like Jake Long, the American Dragon.

 **Boomstick: And Juniper Lee, the Te Xuan Ze.**

Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

 **[DOORS CLOSE]**

Wiz: The magical world is large and incredibly diverse. From Gnomes and Brownies, to Trolls and Ogres. Of course, with so many creatures of various size and strength, with an uncountable number of powers and abilities, it's important that there is someone around to make sure everything stays in check.

 **Boomstick: And who better to do it, than dragons! Flying, fire breathing, dragons!**

Wiz: In ancient times, a group of dragons banded together to form the Dragon Council. This group would dedicate themselves to keeping order and making sure the Magical and Non-magical worlds would keep separate, as to avoid chaos.

 **Boomstick: To most effectively do this, the dragons decided to appoint a specific dragon to each country of the world. Man, that must really suck if you need to send mail out to a friend. But you could save a hell of a lot on plane tickets! Eventually, sometime in the late 20th century. An older Chinese dude by the name of Lao Shi Luong gave up on his job as the Chinese Dragon to immigrate to America and take up the mantle of American dragon.**

Wiz: Lao Shi planned to only stay as the American dragon for a few years until his daughter, Susan, developed her own dragon powers. But that plan didn't quite pan out.

 **Boomstick: When Lao Shi's daughter's dragon genes remained dormant and effectively left her as an average old human, he was forced to stick it out as the American dragon for a couple more years. Talk about dodging a bullet there... Imagine if she was on her p-**

Wiz: BOOMSTICK, DON'T!

 **Boomstick: You know I'm right!**

Wiz: Ahem, A-anyway... those genes remaining dormant meant that Lao Shi had to remain as the American dragon for a few more years, until one of his grand children's genes kicked in. And eventually, Susan's son's powers began to show up. And his name was...

Jake: J to the A to the K to the E! I'm the mac daddy dragon of the NYC, ya heard?!

Wiz: *Sigh* ...Jake Long...

 **NAME: JAKE LONG**

 **AGE: 14**

 **HOMETOWN: NEW YORK CITY**

 **OCCUPATION: AMERICAN DRAGON**

 **TRAINED BY GRANDFATHER AND MAGICAL DOG COMPANION**

 **Boomstick: Hold the fuck up, Wizard. Was he just freestyle rapping? Oh, geez... it's gonna be THAT kind of episode...**

Wiz: The moment Jake's powers began to show up, his training was set to begin. His grandfather, as well as his Magical Dog guardian, Fu Dog, began teaching Jake about his duties as the American Dragon.

 **Boomstick: Why is it always dumb teenagers that get these important mystical jobs? Like seriously. when I was his age, I was just doing the usual kinda jobs for a 14 year old. Cutting down trees and hunting supper.**

Wiz: You had to hunt for supper? What did you hunt for?

 **Boomstick: Usually squirrels. Or pizza hut!**

Wiz: Despite the extraordinary nature of Jake's new-found abilities, who took to them incredibly fast and quickly became a somewhat competent guardian. Though he still had a years worth of training to go through before he'd become a true hero.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. We don't care about that true hero junk. Let's get right into his powers and abilities and stuff!**

 **DRAGON ABILITIES**

 **NOSE OF THE DRAGON**

 **TONGUE OF THE DRAGON**

 **CLAW OF THE DRAGON**

 **TAIL OF THE DRAGON**

 **EAR OF THE DRAGON**

 **EYE OF THE DRAGON**

 **INCREDIBLY COMPETENT STRATEGIST**

 **LEVITATION**

 **BREAKDANCING**

Wiz: Fine, fine. Let's start with the basics then. The first power that any dragon develops is developed at birth. The ability to take human form. Dragons have latent shape shifting abilities. While Jake has not managed to be able to transform into other people without outside help, He has learned how to partially transform into his dragon form in order to access dragon powers without fully transforming.

 **Boomstick: These are powers of the Dragon. Nose of the Dragon lets him transform his mouth and nose into his dragon snout, giving him access to his razor sharp dragon fangs, and his dragon fire. Man, I remember when I had dragon fire!**

Wiz: When did YOU have dragon powers?

 **Boomstick: It was when I was at Buffalo Wild Wings, and I'd eaten all those hot wings, remember?**

Wiz: Um... Boomstick, that's not the kind of Dragon Fire we are talking about...

 **Boomstick: Oh trust me, there was a big fire going on down-**

Wiz: DON'T... finish that sentence... Back on track... The tongue of the dragon lets Jake turn his tongue into a long forked dragon tongue, which can be used for precise tasks his hands would be too big for. He can also use it to rotate and reverse thrown nets... somehow...

 **Boomstick: Claw of the dragon give him is dragon claws so he can bust through even the toughest metals, and Tail of the dragon gives him his prehensile dragon tail, which can be used to trip foes or as a third arm.**

Wiz: Then there's the Ear of the Dragon and the Eye of the Dragon. These abilities allow Jake to enhance his hearing and vision, to hear even the quietest whisper from miles away, or see invisible foes or simply track via heat vision.

 **Boomstick: Ok, seriously, Ear and eye!? The fuck else did he have, the toe of the dragon!? The dick of the dragon?! The left kneecap of the dragon!?**

Wiz: Outside of his partial transformations, he's also a competent strategist and able to come up with plans either in advance or on the spot if her needs to. Of course, those are just his basic powers in human form. When Jake needs to fight, that's when he fully transforms into his dragon form and shows off what he's truly capable of.

 **SUPER STRENGTH**

 **FLIGHT**

 **DRAGON FIRE**

 **FIRE BREATH**

 **RING OF FIRE**

 **FIRE BALLS**

 **FIRE FARTS**

 **DRAGON SCALE ARMOR**

 **LATENT SHAPE SHIFTING**

 **CHI DOPPELGÄNGER**

 **Boomstick: And god DAMN does he have a lot! Upon transforming his strength goes up to superhuman levels. He has enough power that he can claw through metal and pull apart solid steel chains with ease.**

Wiz: He also gains a pair of wings which he can use for, well obviously, flight. Using these wings, he's capable of flying over 100 miles per hour with perfect ease. His top shown speed clocking in at around 179 Mph.

 **Boomstick: Of course, he's a dragon. So we can't forget about the most dragon-like power he has. Fire! That's right, Jake can utilize fire in tons of different ways. Most obviously, via his dragon breath. Whether in steady streams of fire, or smaller fireball blasts!**

Wiz: Jake is incredibly skilled with his fire breath, capable of shooting it out in a perfect ring of flames, or making it intense enough to turn a generic snowman into a perfect ice sculpture replica of his crush, Rose. I don't even know how he's capable of doing that. It's probably the greatest show of skill he has in terms of his fire breath.

 **Boomstick: He can also utilize fire in one more way... though... it's just plain weird! He can Fart flames! He can shoot flames out of his ass! See, wiz, I told you I had dragon flames that one time!**

Wiz: ...Ahem. These... Fire Farts, much like Astro Boy's machine guns, can actually be surprisingly helpful. It makes for a great surprise attack that most foes won't see coming.

 **Boomstick: God, I bet they smell awful...**

Wiz: Aside from fire, His dragon form also covers him in scales, giving him heavy protection to physical attacks. Dragons are also supposed to be able to shape shift into others, but Jake has never been able to fully utilize this power without outside help.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, he's not a super fast learner. But one of the powers he did learn pretty quick was how to clone himself!**

Wiz: By using his own natural chi energy, Jake can create duplicates of himself by splitting his own power in half with the clone. Each time he creates a new duplicate, His power will be shared equally between himself and his copies. So if he made 9 copies of himself, Jake and his clones will each have one tenth of his original power.

 **Boomstick: The clones all share the personality of the original Jake, but they do develop their own traits and stuff while they exist. And on top of that, Jake can always just reabsorb them at anytime to regain the power he gave up to make them.**

 **FEATS**

 **CREATED A PERFECT ICE SCULPTURE WITH FIRE BREATH**

 **FLEW AROUND AN ISLAND 13 TIMES IN A FEW SECONDS**

 **FOUGHT ON PAR WITH GIANTS, A DJINN AND STITCH**

 **SURVIVED HUNTSCLAN ENERGY BLASTS**

 **BROKE A CRYSTAL SKULL**

 **DEFEATED THE DARK DRAGON**

 **HELD UP A TROLL, AN ORGE, A MERMAID, A UNICORN, 3 GNOMES AND A GIANT, ALL AT ONCE, BY HIMSELF**

Wiz: Despite only having access to his dragon powers for just under two years, Jake has learned quickly.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, despite often going for shortcuts in his learning, it doesn't take long for him to learn from his mistakes and really nail down the specifics of his powers.**

Wiz: He's shown some incredible feats over his short time as the American dragon. He's fought on par with incredibly powerful and skilled foes such as giants, a Djinn and even Jumba Jookiba's Experiment 626, AKA: Stitch.

 **Boomstick: Plus he once shattered a crystal skull by simply throwing it while still in his human form! But a much bigger show of strength is the time he held up a Troll, an Ogre, a Mermaid, a Unicorn, 3 Gnomes AND a Giant all at once! And he was perfectly fine... At least until the ground broke beneath him. Hey! That's almost as much as your mom, Wiz!**

Wiz: ...Or your Ex-Wife.

 **Boomstick: Ooh! Nice comeback Wiz! I'm actually kinda proud of you!**

Wiz: He's tough enough to take blasts from Huntsclan energy, which is strong enough to break through unicorn horn. The toughest material in the magical world. And for the record, even Jake can't break unicorn horn. He's fast enough to just barely out fly a boulder thrown at 180 miles per hour, or fly around an island in the Florida keyes 13 times in around 10 to 15 seconds.

 **Boomstick: And that's not even to mention the enemies he's managed to beat. He's fought off the evil wizard Eli Pandarus, constantly beaten the Huntsclan, who are considered the fourth worst threat to the magical world, and the Dark Dragon, who's considered the number one worst! A foe so tough that before Jake took him on, only one person had ever survived an encounter with him!**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **BROCKIUM**

 **STRONG WINDS NULLIFY FIRE**

 **SCALES ARE NOT IMPENETRABLE/SOFT UNDERBELLY**

 **MASSIVE SHOW OFF, FLIRT AND INCREDIBLY COMPETITIVE**

 **SPHINX HAIR**

 **BEHIND THE LEFT EAR**

Wiz: While it's true that Jake is incredibly skilled in battle and even a very competent strategist when he needs to be, He's far from perfect. In stronger, gale force winds, his fire powers struggle to work properly. And his human form will be completely inaccessible if he's exposed to the man-made chemical, Brockium.

 **Boomstick: Plus, since he's a teenage boy, image is everything to him. He's a huge show off and always buts heads with anyone who shows him up at all. Not to mention how he constantly flirts with any girl foes he has. Basically, he's a cocky little bastard.**

Wiz: Well that is true. But he knows when it's time to drop that stuff and get serious. He'll never let his pride get in the way of his job when it really matters.

 **Boomstick: Oh! Almost forgot! Dragons have a natural allergy to sphinx hair for some reason. If they're in contact with sphinx hair, then their dragon powers become completely useless. Even more so if they're trapped in a net of that stuff.**

Wiz: Also, Despite having a tough dragon scale hide, they're not totally impenetrable. Especially the scales on the underbelly, which are soft and easy to attack.

 **Boomstick: His Belly? Fuck that! His EARS are the worst off! Or... ear, I guess.**

Wiz: Oh right! I've done extensive research into this and not managed to come up with a good reason as to why, but put simply, any direct hit to the back of the left ear of a dragon will result in some kind of chain reaction in the dragon's body and shut down their brain, quickly followed by the rest of their organs, killing them with a few seconds.

 **Boomstick: Seriously. That's some kinda bullshit. Why the ear?! It makes no sense! Meh. Whatever. It's a good thing Jake has relatively small ears. Plus it's a very oddly specific weakness. So it's unlikely any random foe'll know about it.**

Wiz: Never the less, despite his flaws, Jake has done an exceptional job as the American dragon, especially considering he has to juggle it with school, his home life, and his free time too.

 **Boomstick: He's saved the world multiple times, defeated all kinds of bad guys and even turned his first and biggest rival, Rose the Huntsgirl, into his main love interest.**

Wiz: Despite all outward appearances, Jake is prepared for anything that may come his way. And you can always depend on the American dragon.

Jake: You know what, guys? It's nice to know some things never change.

 **[DOORS CLOSE]**

Wiz: The magical world is large and incredibly diverse. From Gnomes and Brownies, to Trolls and Ogres. Of course, with so many creatures of various size and strength, with an uncountable number of powers and abilities, it's important that there is someone around to make sure everything stays in check.

 **Boomstick: ...Wait a second... this sounds incredibly familiar...**

Wiz: In ancient times, a group of absurdly powerful magical beings calls the Elders banded together in order to choose a protector. This protector, named the Te Xuan Ze would be given just a fraction of the Elder's power, and dedicate themselves to keeping order and making sure the Magical and Non-magical worlds would keep separate, as to avoid chaos.

 **Boomstick: No, seriously Wiz. This all sounds so familiar to something. Have he done all this analysis before or something? Anyway, sometime in the early 20th century, around the 30's, a young girl by the name of Jasmine Lee turned 11 and inherited the powers of the Te Xuan Ze from her father.**

Wiz: Jasmine was only supposed to continue on as the Te Xuan Ze until she eventually had children of her own and they inherited the powers from her. But her son, Michael, never did gain the powers of the Te Xuan Ze.

 **Boomstick: Ok, Seriously?! Are you playing some kind of joke on me or something?**

Wiz: Just stick to the script, Boomstick.

 **Boomstick: Whatever... Since Michael Lee's Te Xuan Ze powers never showed up, Jasmine was forced to spend an extra 30 years protecting the world of magic, until one of her grand kids would... Ok, no. This is far too similar. You just rewrote Jake' analysis, didn't you?!**

Wiz: Nope. This is the actual back story.

 **Boomstick: So... which show copied which?**

Wiz: Actually neither. The creators of both shows didn't know the other existed until after both shows had been cancelled.

 **Boomstick: Whoa ...Now that's a coincidence...**

Wiz: Anyway, long story short, when Jasmine's granddaughter turned 11, the young girl suddenly gained access to the powers of the Te Xuan Ze and the job was passed down to her. And her name was Juniper Lee

 **Boomstick: Oh, thank god. I thought you were gonna cut to her freestyle rapping too...**

 **NAME: JUNIPER LEE**

 **AGE: 11**

 **HOMETOWN: ORCHID BAY CITY**

 **OCCUPATION: TE XUAN ZE**

 **TRAINED BY GRANDMOTHER AND MAGICAL DOG COMPANION**

Wiz: Anyway, after discovering her powers and dealing with a minor invasion of her Grandmother's house, Juniper training began immediately. Her grandmother and her magical dog adviser, Monroe, began to teach her everything she needed to know about fighting evil monsters and utilizing various different kinds of magic.

 **Boomstick: *Sigh* Just like Jake yet again.**

Wiz: Well, I suppose. But that's where the similarities to Jake end. Juniper was incredibly studious and was happy to learn about all of this stuff.

 **Boomstick: And I can't blame her. Who wouldn't want to suddenly be allowed to fight monsters and kick ass with super powers for a job?**

Wiz: Not just super powers. June gained an instinctive ability to fight, as if she'd been doing it for years. Which complimented her powers well.

 **Boomstick: Speaking of which...**

 **SUPER STRENGTH**

 **SUPER SPEED / REFLEXES**

 **SUPER HEARING**

 **SUPER JUMPING**

 **IMMUNE TO THE MAGICAL BARRIER**

 **PLAYS GUITAR**

 **Boomstick: ...Juniper got some real badass powers!**

Wiz: Starting with the basics, Juniper received a massive boost in strength. Many places say that she's capable of outputting around 2 tons of force.

 **Boomstick: And that's not even mentioning her lifting strength! This girl can pick up things FAR bigger than herself. Including giant monsters and things of the kind.**

Wiz: ...

 **Boomstick: What? I already made a yo momma joke once this episode. I'm not making it again.**

Wiz: Anyway, this strength isn't just limited to lifting and striking. Her legs are just as powerful, as shown by her ability to leap incredibly high. She's leapt from street level to the roof of her three story house on various occasions with no trouble whatsoever. And she's also incredibly fast, capable of running at insane speeds. Complete with super reflexes to avoid obstacles.

 **Boomstick: Her senses of hearing and sight are amped up to. If she needs to, she can amplify her senses to see or hear things in the distance.**

Wiz: This also lets her see and hear through the magical barrier. A spell cast long before recorded time as a way to keep humans from knowing about the magical world.

 **Boomstick: But that's just the physical powers she gained. There's far more to being the Te Xuan Ze.**

 **MAGIC BRACELET**

 **BANISHING STONE / FORCEFIELDS**

 **MAGIC SWORDS AND SHIELDS**

 **TURAKKUS EMERALD**

 **TELEKINESIS GEM**

 **FLIGHT GEMS**

 **BATTLE ARMOR + STAFF OF WU-SHU**

Wiz: As Te Xuan Ze, Juniper has great affinity with magical artefacts and spells. Starting with her signature Bracelet. This bracelet is made of leather with several purple gems on it. And when something is upsetting the magical balance, the gems will glow yellow and let out a light chiming noise.

 **Boomstick: This bracelet acts sorta like a spider sense, letting June know what kind of emergency or threat is going on, and where, so she can combat it.**

Wiz: Alongside the bracelet, June's most commonly used artefact is the Banishment stone. This blood red rock fits in the palm of Juniper's hand. Using a special incantation, this stone will immediately banish the target to an inescapable prison dimension.

 **Boomstick: Or, in a pinch, you can use it to throw up a forcefield around yourself by holding it out in front of you. Real handy for stopping sudden blasts you didn't see coming!**

Wiz: On the opposite side, the Turakkus Emerald is a green gemstone that can cut through magical forcefields with ease. She also has a telekinesis gem. Another small rock that gives the user the power to throw people and objects around with no effort at all. All they have to do is point the gem at them and they can lift them into the air.

 **Boomstick: And when she doesn't feel like using her legs, she has two flight gems. By holding one of these purple rocks in each hand, she can fire off beams of magic from them and use them to propel herself into the air and fly around like iron man! And this is just barely scratching the surface of June's massive arsenal. She has a whole treasure horde of magically enhanced swords and shields. As well as discuses and even creatures sealed into jars that she can sic on her foes.**

Wiz: As a Te Xuan Ze, her traditional weapon is the Staff of Wu-Shu. This collapsible bamboo bo staff is no ordinary stick. It's magically enhanced and can withstand far more than you would expect. It can also perform magical actions, such as freezing water, or even opening up a portal to the Realm of the Elders.

 **Boomstick: And while we're on the subject of the Realm of the Elders, While she's in there, June can tap into the magical source. The pool of energy that all magic stems from. Using this, she can increase her own power to insane levels. Even to the point that she was able to take down the far more skilled Kai Yee, a previous Te Xuan Ze who had gone rogue.**

Wiz: Along with the Staff of Wu-Shu, June's grandmother created a suit of battle armor for June that would allow her to take more hits in a fight without any lasting damage, while not restricting her movement.

 **Boomstick: Let me guess. It's stronger and lighter than titanium...**

Wiz: Well... probably. But in this case it's because of magic.

 **FEATS**

 **PUNCHED THROUGH 200 FEET OF CONCRETE**

 **THREW A DODGEBALL WITH ENOUGH PRECISION AND FORCE TO HIT FOUR KIDS**

 **THREW A ROCK FROM THE BOTTOM OF A MOUNTAIN TO HIT AND KNOCK OUT A DEMON AT THE TOP**

 **SURVIVED THE FLAMES OF THE RACATAN**

 **TANKED THOR'S LIGHTNING**

 **RAN DOWN THE SIDE OF A BUILDING TO CATCH A FALLING FRIEND**

 **DEFEATED KAI YEE, A FORMER TE XUAN ZE**

 **Boomstick: Juniper is insane. Despite being an 11 year old girl, she has strength on levels that impresses even me! She's constantly knocking over or throwing monsters WAAAAY bigger than she is with minimal effort. And once, she made her way out of an underground dungeon the manly way. By punching straight up through 200 feet of concrete!**

Wiz: She's also has an incredible aim. During a gym class she once through a ball perfectly enough to rebound it and hit four kids on the opposing team. And if you combine her strength with her aim, you get deadly results.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, like the time she threw a simple rock all the way up a mountain to clock a demon in the head. And not only that, she through it with enough force that it knocked him clean out!**

Wiz: She's also incredibly durable. Even without her battle armor. She tanked the flames of a deadly Racatan monster, when the entire forest around her was decimated immediately. And she even took a blast of lighting from the far stronger Norse god of lightning, Thor.

 **Boomstick: And the only lasting damage she took from that was some poofy hair.**

Wiz: And that's not to mention her speed either. Like the time she ran down the side of a building so she could outrace and catch her falling friend.

 **Boomstick: And it's a good thing too. A fall from that height would've turned her friend into blonde pancake.**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **EASILY DISARMED**

 **INCREDIBLY SHORT TEMPER**

 **FIGHTS FIRST, ASKS QUESTIONS LATER**

 **CAN BE KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS IF CAUGHT OFF GUARD**

 **WAS UNABLE TO HARM LOKI OR JORDAN THE DESTROYER WITHOUT HELP**

 **COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF LEAVING ORCHID BAY**

Wiz: Juniper has some incredible power, it's true. But sometimes, it's not as helpful as it could be. Especially considering her short temper.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, Juniper isn't exactly the calm and collected type. At least, not when she's in a fight anyway. When she needs to resolve a conflict, her first method is usually the most effective. Hitting it as hard as possible!**

Wiz: June's "Punch first, ask questions later" mentality can get her into trouble a lot of the time, due to jumping into situations she's simply not prepared for. And the fact she gets angry over even the slightest things doesn't help her calm down much. She'll only really come up with other plans if nothing else works.

 **Boomstick: On top of that, Juniper prefers fighting empty handed because... well... She's awful at keeping ahold of her weapons. She gets disarmed almost as much a Lion-O.**

Wiz: Also, If Juniper is attacked with enough force by an attack she didn't see coming, then despite her superpowers, she can be knocked unconscious. This is easier to do with magical attacks than physical though. And finally, as the Te Xuan Ze, her job requires that Juniper never leaves her home town of orchid bay, as it's considered the magical epicentre of the world. If she tries to leave town, she'd be blocked by a completely unbreakable forcefield that only affects herself.

 **Boomstick: She can still travel to other magical realms, but even then, they're still classed as part of Orchid bay.**

Wiz: This fact limits her actions quite a deal. Especially if a foe were to try and lead her out of the city to fight, in which case, they could pass through, but not her.

 **Boomstick: But seriously, as far as weaknesses go, it doesn't actually make her weaker. Juniper is still super strong and impressive. She's taken down evil mummies, giant monsters, the reality warping Sandman and even the most feared evil witch of all time. Auntie Roon.**

Wiz: It's true. Despite her violent disposition, it's worked wonders for her so far. And it no doubt will for years to come. Juniper Lee is the Te Xuan Ze, and as such, she will do whatever it take to keep the human and magical worlds safe.

Kai Yee: Why fight what you know is right? Why fight, little one, when you know that you can just... win?

Juniper: Because... I'd rather fight.

*Juniper leaps over him and begins absorbing energy from the magical source*

Juniper: C'mon. This is the part where the Sapling kicks your butt!

 **[DOORS CLOSE]**

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

 **Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!**

 **[DOORS CLOSE]**

Jake wandered through the streets of this new town. He and his grandfather were visiting the town for some kind of magical meeting. Or, at least, his grandfather was. Jake just kinda tagged along. He was even going to the meeting, he just wanted to look around. He'd never heard of this city, Orchid Bay. But apparently, it was a pretty big deal in the magical world. As he wondered along, he heard something odd coming from a nearby alleyway.

Jake glanced around to make sure no one could see him before he muttered to himself. "Ear of the dragon..." In a flash of fire, his regular human ear transformed into a dragon ear and he pressed up against the wall listening around the corner and down the alley.

"Now listen here. If you don't hand over the gold, there is gonna be big trouble for you..." Jake's eyes grew wide. A robbery?! He peeked around the corner and saw it wasn't just any ordinary robbery. He could clearly see what seemed to be a werewolf like creature towering over a terrified looking gnome. Not just a robbery, a magical robbery. Which meant he had no issue with transforming to stop this.

"Dragon up!" He called out, and in a much bigger flash of fire, his entire body transformed into his dragon form. Then, without missing a beat, he flew right into the alley. "Yo, what's goin' on in here. Because it sounds like something the Am Drag's gonna have to put a stop to." It seemed like Jake arrived just in time, as the gnome was just handing over the gold.

Seeing the dragon, the werewolf creature snatched up the bod of gold and shot off like a bullet, and Jake was quick to follow. IT was a pretty long winding alley, but by the time they eventually came to the end, Jake had managed to catch up. He grabbed onto the werewolf's wrist with his claw and picked him up, giving one good throw to smash him into a nearby wall. The hit seemed to be more than enough. The wolf creature gave up right there, dropping the bag of gold to the floor, running off without it.

Jake smirked as he wondered over to the bag and picked it up. "Another flawless victory for the American Dragon." It was around then he heard footsteps coming from the alley. It must've been the gnome. He turned around to address the gnome... only to find a teen girl staring at him instead.

"So. You're the one who stole Jeff's gold." she said, folding her arms.

"What? Who are you?"

"Like you don't know. I'm Juniper Lee, Te Xuan Ze. And I'm here to get that gold back."

"No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. I was the one who..." Jake was unfortunately cut off by a sudden scream.

"D-D-DRAGOOOOOON!" Jake and Juniper both turned to see a young girl, who looked absolutely terrified, before running off screaming in the other direction.

Juniper looked right back at Jake with a glare. "AND you've somehow made yourself visible through the magical barrier? OK, That's it buster. You're SO getting banished." She declared, before suddenly running at Jake, fists ready.

"Hey, Kid, I don't know what you're talking about, but I doubt you'll be able to..." And, just as before, Jake was cut off when Juniper delivered a sudden punch right to his face, sending him hurtling backwards. He crashed into the same wall the wolf had before, though Jake quickly recovered. "What... how did you..? Y'know what? Fine! You wanna fight? I'll give you a fight." He said angrily, leaping from the wall and using his wings to hover in the air just above ground level.

"Bring it, Mushu." Juniper shot back.

 **FIGHT**

Jake shot forwards through the air, ready to slash with his claws. He swung down but Juniper effortlessly dodged to the side and countered back with an uppercut to his chin. Jake was once again said flying, but he quickly corrected himself with his wings. "Dang, girl. You've got some iron fists!" He said, almost impressed. Then he smirked. "Good thing fire melts Iron" He said, opening his mouth and shooting a blast of fire down at her from the sky. Juniper quickly rolled out of the way.

"That all you got?" Juniper taunted him. Jake responded by simply spitting down more balls of fire at her. All of which she rolled out f the way of.

"Whatever. I'll hit you eventually. It's not like you can reach me." Jake said, charging up another ball of fire. The moment she heard those words, Juniper smirked again. As he shot down the fireball, rather than roll out of the way, Juniper crouched and suddenly launched herself up into the air. In a single leap, she cleared Jake's height and grabbed his tail as she did. With a strong swing, she threw Jake right back down to the ground.

Jake landed rather roughly, but was quickly back on his feet. "Ok, so it's pretty safe to say you're not an ordinary girl, are you?" Jake said, Juniper landed a little in front of him.

"You don't say. What could've possibly tipped you off?" She said sarcastically, before charging at him. As she swing her fists to punch at him, Jake began to take a more defensive approach, dodging her attacks and raising his arms to block them. Finally, before she had a chance to see it coming, Jake swung his tail around, sweeping June's ankles and knocking her to the floor. He quickly reach down and grabbed her ankle, this time throwing her at a wall.

June flew through the air, managing to transition into a flip and landed perfectly safely, feet first on the wall, then leapt right off and back at Jake. But Jake must've seen it coming. As she shot back at him, he swung his clawed fist out and delivered a punch right to her face, knocking her back to the ground again. Juniper let out a yelp of pain. "Aww yeah! The Am Drag showin' you how it's done!" He began to brag.

Juniper growled to herself, starting to get ticked off at him. She leapt back up to her feet and charged at him with a battle cry. But Jake quickly took to the skies again to avoid her. Juniper rolled her eyes and simply jumped after him again. Once again though, Jake was thinking ahead, He swerved to the side and began to fly higher. "Ok, so you got hops. I'll give you that. But super jump or not, everyone has a limit." He said with a smirk as Juniper began to drop back down.

Growing more annoyed by the second, Juniper pulled her flight gems out of her pockets, one in each hand, and fired them downwards, propelling herself up at an incredible speed, to headbutt Jake right in the stomach. It seems Jake didn't see that attack coming though, as it winded him and with a cough he began to fall back towards the ground, and straight through the roof of a building.

Jake crashed into the empty room and in a flash of fire, he was back in his human form. The fall must've done some damage. But nothing too substantial. It just briefly knocked the dragon out of him. He could hear the noise of the flight gems closing into the hole in the roof. The girl would be here and moment. "Nose of the dragon." He whispered. His mouth and nose transformed into a dragon maw and he shot a large fireball at the wall to the room, blasting it too pieces and making an exit. Then his mouth changed back to normal and he leapt to the opposite side of the room.

Juniper landed in the room a few seconds later and spotter Jake in his human form. "Uhh... Hey, kid? You didn't happen to see anything... strange come through here, right..?" she asked him.

"Uhh... Yeah! This big red monster thing came busting through the roof and then broke through that wall over there." Jake replied, pointing at the hole he'd made. Juniper nodded and leapt out of the hole.

"Note to self. Come back and wipe that boy's memory later." Juniper said. She landed a few stories down in front of the forest that bordered the city. The dragon must've been hiding in there. She ran in, pulling out a shield from her backpack, just in case. Not a moment later, she heard a noise behind her. She turned to see a massive fireball heading her way. She thrust her shield out and used it to stop the blast, only to leave herself open to the dragon flying in and kicking her backwards, knocking the shield clean out of her hand.

Juniper steadied herself and saw the dragon closing in again. She quickly reach into her bag again and this time pulled out a sword. And as the dragon got close, she gave a powerful swing... only for the dragon to catch the blade.

"Dragon Scales. They're surprisingly tough, right?" He taunted with a smirk, before flexing his claw into a fist and shattered the sword, then he unleashed a fast flurry of slashes and swipes with his claws, catching the off guard Juniper with every one of them, and finishing off with another hard kick. Juniper was once again sent flying backwards into a clearing with a yell of pain when suddenly she hit something incredibly hard. It didn't feel like a tree. It felt more... familiar.

"No way... The barrier? We're on the edge of town already?" She exclaimed to herself. Jake then flew in again, circling overhead. He flew down and landed in front of her, cracking his knuckles. Then she had an idea. The barrier was invisible to everyone else, right? The dragon would never see it coming. She jumped up and pressed her feet to the barrier, using it to launch herself at Jake and slam her foot right into his forehead, knocking him down onto his and turning him back into his human form again. "What the..?! YOU were that kid?!"

"Uhh... Surprise..?" Said Jake, smirking in an awkwardly playful manner. Juniper seemed incredibly angry.

"Let's tally up the hits. You stole gold from an innocent gnome, somehow made yourself unaffected by the magical barrier, and straight up lied to my face. I'm SO done with you!" She pulled out a banishment stone and pointed it right at Jake. "Acuam latre tatsu, acuam latre tatsu..." She began chanting.

Jake didn't plan on finding out what that rock did. "Tail of the dragon." She muttered and sprouted a tail. Then, with a swift motion, he once again tripped Juniper right up. She fell backwards with a yelp, sending the stone up into the air before she could finish the incantation. Jake leapt into the air, transforming back into a dragon to catch the rock, then threw it past juniper at the ground, shattering it.

As it flew through the Air, Juniper tried to jump and catch it, only to collide with the Te Xuan Ze barrier, stopping her in her tracks. That's when Jake figured it out. "Oooooh, I get it! There's some invisible wall keeping you from going out there?" He guessed. Juniper didn't answer. She just glared at him and pulled her final weapon from her backpack. The Staff of Wu-Shu. Jake shot a stream of fire at Juniper, but she span the staff around in front of her, blowing the flames away from her.

Jake had a plan though. He suddenly stopped his fire breath and flew right past juniper, wrapping his arm around her neck as he did. Then he flew through the Te Xuan Ze Barrier. He passed through with ease, due to not being the Te Xuan Ze, But Juniper was held against it, firmly and Jake began trying to strangle her against it. Juniper flailed, trying to fight free, but was having trouble. As she found herself struggling to breath, she began spinning her staff and stabbed it onto the ground, a large glowing vortex appearing at her feet. She suddenly found herself falling in, and Jake being dragged with her. And in a moment, they were gone.

Suddenly, they were falling. Jake and Juniper were hurtling down through the air. Jake began flapping his wings and was quickly able to gain control, zooming down to ground to land, While juniper used her flight gems to speed up her own decent and flipped around, landing safely on her feet.

"The heck? Where are we?!" Jake asked, looking around. It was like they weren't even on earth anymore.

"Welcome to the Realm of the Elders, dragon. This is where this battle's gonna end. I hope you're ready." she growled. Clearly, she had reach the peak of her anger. Fight or not, this dragon just tried to strangle her to death. She crouched down, placing her hand on the floor. The moment her fingertips touched the floor, blue bolts of lighting launched out of the ground, swirling around Juniper like a tornado. No. Not just around her. INTO her.

Jake didn't like the look of this. He needed a plan and fast. And then he thought of one. He needed to outsmart her. He placed his hands together and began to glow with a soft blue light. Then, a moment later, his own energy began to pour out of him and created an exact duplicate of himself.

June stood up, and the lighting around her dissipated once she'd finished absorbing. "So you can clone yourself? Pretty cool. But it won't be enough." She threatened. The two Jakes took flight, taking different routes to try and outmanoeuvre Juniper. But each time one of them tried to fly past and attack, she was able to expertly dodge or counter with ease. The original Jake flew down to get her attention, attacking with a flurry of claws, which June defended against using her staff. She swung back her staff like a baseball bat, only to have the duplicate Jake grab it mid-swing and snatch it from her. He flew up and shattered the Staff over his knee.

"No more weapons." The original Jake said. "Hand to hand." He declared, before charging her again. Without breaking a sweat, she grabbed him by the arm and swung him around, tossing him aside. She turned in time to see that the Duplicate Jake had cloned himself a few more times, so three Jakes in total were rushing her while the original got back to his feet.

Juniper wasn't worried though. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the telekinesis gem, she held it out at the Clones and all of them stopped in their tracks, held in place right there in the air. She used the gem to send all three of them hurtling at the original Jake, leaving the four identical dragons in a heap. There was a light blue light and Jake reabsorbed his clones. "That's it! Enough is enough!" He yelled out, before shooting off at her as fast as he possibly could.

And as he was just about to ram his claws into her stomach... She sidestepped his attack, jumped into the air, and put all of her strength into a kick to the side of his head.

The aim of the kick was perfect. She managed to hit Jake squarely, right behind the back of his left ear. But even though that alone would've been enough to end the fight, the power of the magical source flowing through Juniper made her kick more powerful that she could've imagined. And with that one kick, Jake's head was ripped clean off of his neck and sent hurtling off into the distance of the realm of the elders.

What was left of the dragons body collapsed to the floor and transformed back into a human body. Albeit still headless, with blood pooling out. Juniper glared at the body before pulling her Cell phone from her pocket and dialling someone. "Hey, Monroe? Is Ah Mah back from her meeting with that Lao Shi guy yet? I'm stuck in the Realm of the Elders and need a ride home." she paused for a moment to listen to the reply. "...It's a long story…"

 **[DOORS CLOSE]**

 **K.O.**

A portal opens up next to Juniper in the Realm of the Elders and she eagerly jumps through to head home, leaving Jake's body behind. Meanwhile, Jake's head is still hurtling through the Realm of the Elders before finally plummeting down into the abyss.

 **Boomstick: We got a dragon down! Geez, that was brutal!**

Wiz: Despite how incredibly similar these two seem to be, the fight was actually incredibly clear cut as to who would win.

 **Boomstick: Jake may be able to turn into a dragon, but that was just a party trick compared to some of the aces June has up her sleeve.**

Wiz: First, when we compare strength, it's pretty clear from their most impressive feats that they're more or less evenly matched. Or at least you would think. While Juniper and Jake often lift heavy loads, Jake is often seen struggling and straining under the weight. but Juniper is almost always able to move things effortlessly.

 **Boomstick: And as for striking strength, while Jake can make big monsters flinch, Juniper can send them flying with a simple punch.**

Wiz: When it comes to defence and taking hits, Juniper has forcefields and shields ready to go, while Jake usually fights empty handed. On top of that, while Jake has taken hits from Huntsclan energy, June took a hit from the God of thunder with pretty much no injuries. And let's not forget that she withstood the flames of the Racatan, who's flames are a LOT more potent than Jake's.

 **Boomstick: And shit, we haven't even mentioned the speed comparisons yet.**

Wiz: The two fastest feats we have for Jake are outpacing a thrown Boulder, and flying around an island 13 times in fifteen seconds. Outpacing the boulder is obvious as we were given a clear number. 179 miles per hour. The island feat is a little trickier but we managed it. By comparing Jake's height to the full shot of the island we got, we managed to figure out that the distance he flew was around 929 meters, or 0.56 miles. Divide 929 by 15 seconds and you get a grand total of 61.9 meters per second, or 138.4 miles per hour.

 **Boomstick: So... It's actually even less than that boulder speed?! Wait, actually, that makes sense. Since outpacing the boulder he was going all out, while the island thing was just to show up his bratty cousin.**

Wiz: Exactly. Long story short, Jake's top speed is 179mph.

 **Boomstick: Juniper on the other hand was even harder to figure out. The best speed feat we had is her running down the side of a building and catching her friend Jody.**

Wiz: By timing how long Jody fell for and factoring in standard earth gravity acceleration of 9.81, we were able to calculate the height of the building she fell from to be a whopping 701 meters. The fall lasted for eleven seconds and Juniper didn't start running until 7 seconds into the fall. It took her three seconds to reach the ground where she waited for Jody and caught her on the final second.

 **Boomstick: Using more of Wiz's fancy mathematics, we were able to run those numbers through the same calc. 701 divided by 3. And this gave us 233.6 Meters per second, or 522.5 Miles per Hour. Making June here 343.5 miles FASTER than Jake!**

Wiz: Let's not forget too, that Jake often had a lot of trouble fighting against the Huntsgirl. And I'd like to remind you that Huntsgirl is an ordinary human girl who's simply been trained to fight dragons.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, While Juniper is a SUPERHUMAN girl who's trained to fight Dragons. It was kind of a given that Juniper beats Huntsgirl. So it stands to reason Jake wouldn't be able to match up to her.**

Wiz: It's also important to note that all of this analysis is purely about Juniper and Jake's base skills. We've not even had to take into account any of Juniper's weapons yet.

 **Boomstick: Because we don't need to! If Juniper went into this fight with none of her equipment, she'd still absolutely kick Jake's ass HARD.**

Wiz: So, to end this post-match analysis, I'll just say that this match, despite seeming close from outward appearances, is incredibly one sided. Juniper was stronger, tougher and faster than Jake. It was only a matter of time before Juniper finished him off for good.

 **Boomstick: Well... at least the fight didn't DRAG ON too long. Haha!**

Wiz: The winner is Juniper Lee

 **[DOORS CLOSE]**

 **Boomstick: Next time on death battle!**

Random person: He's the strongest man in the world.

?-1: Man, yes… But I am the strongest girl in the world. Remember that.

VS…

Woman: You like to read?

?-2: Yes, I love to read.

Woman: What do you like to read?

?-2: I've been reading Darls Chickens… Charles Dickens!

 **BRAWN VS BRAIN**

 **MUSCLE VS MIND**

 **SUPER STRENGTH VS PSYCHIC POWERS**

…

 **SCHOOLGIRL VS SCHOOLGIRL**

 **COMING SOON.**


	12. Bonus DBX Episode 2: Scotsman VS Demoman

OOC: Ok! First thing's first, the next fight might be a little while. Researching one of the fighters is VERY time consuming due to the sheer amount of stuff I have to go through. A live action movie, 2 cartoon movies. A cartoon series, and at least 4 books too. But it WILL be revealed at the end so stick around if you couldn't figure out who's next.

Also! This is SUPER important!

I didn't write this DBX. It was actually written by a friend of mine who goes by Garchompisbeast on deviantart. He writes his own death battle like series. This was my personal favourite of his and he said I could upload it here for you to see. I STRONGLY suggest checking out more of his work if you get the chance. He's done far more fights than me, such as Blackfire VS Android 18, Roman Torchwick VS Reaver and even Bill Cipher VS TFS Mr Popo.

But enough of that. Let's get to his fight~

* * *

 **NO RULES**

 **JUST BLOODSHED**

 **DBX**

* * *

Taking another swig from his bottle of Scrumpy the Demoman sang drunkenly to himself as he walked across the long rickety rope bridge, the Demolition expert of the Redman Mercenaries greatly enjoying his very rare holiday from work having decided to spend his time visiting his home of Scotland.

As he walked the Demoman soon heard the sound of bagpipes on the wind, the screeching warbling piercing through the thick fog that covered the bridge bringing a smile to his lips "ah this takes me back" he sighed easily recognizing the tune as Scotland the brave.

Humming along to the tune Demoman soon found the source of it as a huge figure slowly emerged from the fog several yards ahead of him. The bagpipe player standing several inches taller than the Demoman putting him at a height that he could look the Heavy in the eyes, the pipes player not seeming to notice him as the two men got closer and closer until they were finally a foot apart.

Finally noticing the Demoman and how he was humming along to the tune the Scotsman stopped playing "by the look on ya face ah can tell you like the pipe wee laddie" the red haired man greeted

"Aye, tis a bonnie tune" Demoman returned "ah don't mean to bother ya but do ya mind standing to a side? I need to get passed".

"What? And risk falling off?" the Scotsman returned with a raised eyebrow "have ya seen the fall? You want me to risk mah life for a complete stranger? You step aside!" he retorted taking immediate offense to the request.

"Whoa now lad, I was'nae saying that" the Demoman spoke in his defence "I know how far of a drop this is but let's be honest, out of the both of us which is most likely to survive hitting the ground?".

"WHAT?!" the Scotsman roared in surprise "ARE YA CALLING ME FAT!? AH'LL TELL YA NOW LADDIE THAT THIS IS ALL ONE HUNDRED PERCENT HIGHLANDER MUSCLE!" he barked in the Demoman's face nearly causing his beanie hat to fly off "not like those wimpae noodle arms you've got going there!".

"Noodle arms?! Yer walkin' on thin ice there laddie! Keep flapping ya jaw and I'll show you just what these noodle arms can do!" the Demoman threatened back to which the Scotsman threw his head back with a cackle.

"Those are some mighty big words for a short stack! I bet ya couldn't scare a new born kitten! Ah mean look at that wee tooth pick on yer back! Ya could barely scratch an itch with it!" the larger man sneered loudly before crudely spitting over the side of the bridge and reaching back to clutch his Sword's handle, slowly drawing the Weapon showing off every inch of it as the metal glistened in the sunlight "now this! Is a sword".

Holding his Sword out the Scotsman held it threateningly close to the Demoman's face "what do ya say to that Mr namby pamby, noodle armed, trouser wearin', one eyed, runtish, half baked, wee hackit, scrawny excuse of a man Jesse!" the Scotsman barked at him "ya call yourself a Scotsman? WHERE'S YER KILT?!" he then added as a final insult causing something to snap in the Demoman's head, normally he'd just pull out his Grenade Launcher and blow whoever had insulted him to pieces but this…this deserved something better.

A crooked grin lacing his face the Demoman came back with an insult that could cut down any man "on yer wife's bedroom floor".

The Scotsman felt silent immediately from the Demoman's words, his grin falling instantly quickly being replaced by dumbfounded shock. That didn't last long however as a deep rage filled scowled creased the Scotsman's brow "what did ya say about me wife?" he growled much quieter than before but with no less malice.

"Ya heard me laddie, now what're ya gonna do about it?" the Demoman sneered back expecting the Scotsman to have been all talk since despite his many insults he hadn't made any kind of attack on him.

A few icy seconds passed as pure rage boiled in the Scotsman's gut, his Sword arm started to shake as his teeth creaked against each other "oh you've done it now boyo" he then seethed, throwing his Bagpipes over the edge of the bridge before raising his Sword with a brutish battle cry, making the Demoman jump with surprise as he then swung the Weapon down.

 **HERE WE GO**

In a flash the Demoman's single eye went wide as The Scotsman's Sword hit its mark, his Bottle falling clean in half causing its contents to splatter on the bridge before running over the edge "MAH SCRUMPY!" he exclaimed in horror as the Scotsman cackled at his loss.

Reaching back the Demoman then grabbed hold of his Eyelander's hilt drawing it and swinging it hard at the Scotsman only for the larger man to easily block the attack, the Eyelander straining against the Scotsman's Sword as the Demoman pressed against it with both arms to the Scotsman's one.

To the Cyclops' shock the Scotsman then seemingly effortlessly pushed forward and with an echoing 'crack!' the Eyelander snapped clean in half, the Blade falling silently off of the bridge into the mist below leaving him with just the handle.

Cackling at how easy it was to destroy the Demoman's Weapon the Scotsman waited for him to draw his Persian Persuader and Splendid Shield before doing the same to them as he did the Eyelander, a single swipe cutting the Persuader's Blade from its handle before another sliced the Shield clean in half.

"Ah Sod it!" the Demoman then exclaimed taking several steps back before drawing his Grenade Launcher "time ta go boom!" he barked firing several Grenades at the Scotsman which immediately exploded upon contact with him, the force of the explosion rocking the bridge prompting the Demoman to desperately clutch at the side of it to prevent himself from falling.

Before the dust cloud even began to clear the Scotsman strode through it completely unharmed aside from smoke rising from his beard. Shocked by the lack of damage he had done the Demoman fired more Grenades at the Scotsman who simply batted them away causing them to explode on their fall off of the bridge "is that all you got laddie?" the larger man chuckled darkly before rushing at the Demoman striking him hard across the face with a backhand, making the smaller man stumble as well as drop his Grenade Launcher over the edge of the bridge.

Clutching onto the side of the bridge to prevent himself going off like his Weapon the Demoman then quickly grabbed the Scottish Handshake Bottle from his belt swinging around to smash it over the Scotsman's head, the action only seeming to piss him off as he swung his Sword again, the Demoman narrowly dodging it causing the Weapon to take out several of the bridges foot boards.

"Ah ta hell with it!" the Cyclops then spat drawing his Sticky Bomb Launcher before starting to run back down his end of the bridge firing several bombs onto the bridge between him and the Scotsman. He was hoping to be able to run back to the end of the bridge he had came from before detonating the bombs to sending the Scotsman falling to his demise but in his slightly more than inebriated state he had forgotten that he had been walking along the bridge for hours before even bumping into the larger man.

He didn't even have to pull the trigger however as the Scotsman ran over the Bombs before he could notice what they are, the explosion finally rupturing the strangely sturdy bridge causing it to snap clean in half sending both men falling screaming into the mist below.

As he fell the Scotsman grabbed onto the bridge using it to slow his fall and swing towards the chasms wall, as he swung he felt the Demoman grab his leg "leggo ya mad bastard!".

"Like hell ah will!".

"It's your damn fault we're fallin'!".

"You started this!".

"Ya insulted me wife!".

"Ya had it comin'!" the Demoman retorted before noticing something quickly approaching in the distance through the mist "house!" he cried realizing that they were rapidly approaching a building, one of which made the Scotsman's blood run cold.

"Ah crap! It's mah house!" the redheaded man cried out bracing himself as the bridge swung him and the Demoman straight through a large side window, shattering it upon impact and sending them tumbling across the floor before landing in a heap with a loud crash.

As soon as he stopped moving the Scotsman was up on his feet "we gotta get outta here!" he exclaimed before freezing at the sound of loud heavy footsteps "now!".

"Why? What's got you pissin' ya britches? We were fightin' a minute ago" the Cyclops replied "what are ya? Scared?".

Before the Scotsman could reply the door to the large room they had crashed into swung open sending several cracks through the stone wall as it smacked against it revealing a huge woman holding a broom.

The Scotsmans wife.

"WHAT TIME DO YA CALL THIS THEN?!" she screamed sending a violent shockwave through the room with her voice alone "YA TELL ME YOU'RE GOING OUT FOR INGREDIANTS FOR THE HAGGIS AND DISAPPEAR FOR A WEEK! AND NOW YOU COME SWANNING BACK IN LIKE YA DONE NOTHIN' AND YOU DRAG A NEW FRIEND HOME! AT LEAST THE OTHER ONE HAD THE COMMON DECENCY TO TAKE HIS SLIPPERS OFF AT THE DOOR! WHERE IS HE ANYWAY, HE WAS THE LAST ONE TO HAVE ANY DAMNED CULTURE IN THIS HOUSE!".

Staring in shock at the massive woman the Demoman was more shocked to find the Scotsman stood motionless, not out of fear but by the look on his face out of pure love, a dreamy smile on his face as his wife continued to berate him. His shock however quickly melted away as her shrieking voice and condescending tone soon began to remind him of his mother, bringing a similar warm smile to his face making the Scotsman's.

"What a woman" he sighed nudging the larger man's arm.

"Aye, that's me wife" the Scotsman replied "such a little angel".

"Aye, she reminds me of me mother" Demoman added immediately stripping the Scotsman's smile from his face as well as cutting off his wife's tirade.

"What did you just say?" the huge woman asked as her face contorted further with fury "ARE YA CALLING ME OLD?!" she exclaimed quickly replacing the look of nostalgia on the Demoman's face with that of terror.

"What? Ah was'nae saying that!" the Demoman tried to defend himself but the Wife wasn't having any of it.

"YOU!" she barked pointing at her husband "KICK HIS ARSE!".

"Right love!".

"Ah crap" the Demoman sighed as the Scotsman redrew his Sword to defend his wife's honour, the Demoman responding by drawing his Loose Cannon and firing a Grenade straight at the floor between them, using the explosion to propel himself out of the house and back out the window they had crashed through.

Rolling as he hit the dirt hard Demoman clambered to his feet just as the Scotsman jumped out of the window and landed hard in front of him as unharmed by the second Grenade blast as he was the first. As soon as he touched down the Scotsman lifted his left leg revealing that his prosthetic was in fact a Machine Gun immediately opening fire on the Demoman leaving him scrambling to avoid the gunfire.

Taking several hits to his arms and legs the Demoman decided to try to outmuscle the Scotsman, donning his Chargin' Targe and rushing like a madman at the larger man. Unfortunately his plan was for nothing as the moment he made contact with the Scotsman his Shield simply shattered against his barrel chest and gut sending the Demoman flying back onto his ass.

"Nice try laddie but yer doomed" the Scotsman cackled placing his leg back down to go back to his Sword, giving the Demoman a chance to stand up so that he could die like a Warrior on his feet.

Panting as he stood back up Demoman realized that explosives weren't going to do anything leaving him with one last alternative, reaching back he grabbed hold of the hilt of his final Sword slowly drawing the Half-Zatoichi, the Katana's Blade glinting in the sun as he unsheathed it and held it out towards the Scotsman.

"Ah look, you've got another Butter Knife, let's see how long this one lasts" the redheaded man grinned crookedly readying himself as the Demoman did the same, both men sizing each other up for a few moments before they both made a move.

With a loud echoing battle cry both men ran at each other and with a single swing both their Weapons clashed and made contact.

Ending their run both men stood several yards apart, both frozen as they waited for their strike to take effect, the Demoman suddenly gasping in pain as he spat up blood, his Katana's Blade falling from its hilt showing that once again the Scotsman's Sword outclassed his and mere moments later the Demoman's head joined the Blade, rolling from his shoulders to the dirt below followed quickly by his body.

Letting out a breath of relief the Scotsman stood up straight and sheathed his Sword "that was fer insulting me wife".

 **DBX**

* * *

Boomstick: Next time on death battle.

*Cue: Rusted Root – Send me on my way*

(On my way, on my way)  
(On my way, on my way)  
I would like to reach out my hand  
I may see you, I may tell you to run (On my way, on my way)  
You know what they say about the young.

MATILDA ENROLS INTO DEATH BATTLE

...VS…

Captain: All on the mainsheet!

Sailor: All on the mainsheet!

?: Standing on top of Mount Kilimanjaro…

Watching the sun rise, the wind in my hair…

I'm gonna go wherever I wanna go, There's magic everywhere!

MATILDA HONEY VS PIPPI LONGSTOCKING: Coming soon!


	13. Episode 11:Matilda VS Pippi Longstocking

OOC NOTE: GEEZ! I'm so sorry about how long this fight took. There are four main reasons. The first is the most obvious, I'm lazy. I can't help it. Sorry! Secondly, Work has been a pain lately and I've had to do a lot more shifts. 3. Researching this fight took up pretty much all my free time. Because Pippi has a LOT of stuff to get though. And finally, the biggest reason it too so long, the fight itself. Writing these two into a fight is incredibly hard because of how pacifistic they are. This was next to impossible to do without breaking character. And frankly, I'm not sure i did it too well. Let me know with your reviews If i did ok with what i had. Thanks in advance. Enjoy the new episode!

* * *

Wiz: Childhood is probably the most important time in a person's life. Growing up, and the environment and people you do this around, can heavily impact the person you grow up to be.

 **Boomstick: Like whether you grow up to be a half decent guy, or a massive douche-bag. Like Wiz.**

Wiz: ...AHEM. Such is the case with these two school girls. Who's own unique experiences led them to discover incredible power deep within.

 **Boomstick: Matilda! The Roald Dahl poster girl prodigy with psychic powers.**

Wiz: And Pippi Longstocking. The strongest girl in the world. I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick. And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE.

 **[DOORS CLOSE]**

Wiz: The Wormwood family. This small family of three lived a pleasant life in the suburbs and kept to themselves, avoiding other people and making sure they were avoided in return. The Father, Harry, was a used car salesmen.

 **Boomstick: The single least honest profession ever displayed in media. No one lies like a used car salesman.**

Wiz: The mother, Zinnia, didn't work. But rather spent most of her time playing bingo with her friends. Or cooking during breakfast and evenings. And the child, a boy named Michael, was rather... dim and just avoided trouble.

 **Boomstick: Despite being fairly dislike by pretty much everyone around them, the Wormwoods had a nice set up. Good food, good money and a good house. But, like all good things... It was ruined with a pregnancy.**

Wiz: And, just like that, the story of an extraordinary young girl began. The story of Matilda.

 **BIRTH NAME: MATILDA WORMWOOD**

 **ADOPTIVE NAME: MATILDA HONEY**

 **AGE: 6 AND A HALF**

 **BEST FRIEND: LAVENDER**

 **FAVOURITE BOOK: MOBY DICK BY HERMAN MELVILLE**

 **KNOWS HOW TO SPELL THE WORD DIFFICULTY**

 **Boomstick: Extraordinary..? Oh! I know that girl! She's the one who save Santa from being arrested, right?**

Wiz: Uhh... no... But anyway. After returning from the hospital in a rather foul mood, both of Matilda's parents just preceded to continue their lives as if nothing had changed. Except now there was a baby in their way.

 **Boomstick: Harry and Zinnia both disliked Matilda way too much. I mean... they technically weren't abusive. They fed her and did MOST of the stuff a parent should do. They just didn't care at all. Even not bothering to put her in school. Lucky kid...**

Wiz: But due to the lack of caring, the Wormwood parents completely over looked Matilda's abilities. Even from as young as 1 year old, she was able to legibly write her own name, and when she was four, she even read an entire library's worth of books. She was the very definition of a child prodigy. But that was just the surface level of her abilities...

 **Boomstick: Yeah. When this little nerd finally managed to get into school, a run in with her over-the-top, hate filled principal, Miss Trunchbull, made Matilda aware of her secret power. She's psychic!**

 **CHILD GENIUS**

 **INCREDIBLE MATH PROWESS**

 **ON COLLEGE READING LEVEL**

 **PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY**

 **PSYCHIC POWERS**

 **TELEKINESIS**

 **EXPLOSION INDUCEMENT**

Wiz: That's right. After 5-6 years of torment from her neglectful parents, in addition to having no new information to feed her incredibly advanced mind, Matilda's anger, sadness and pure boredom led to her brain needing a way to expel this pent up energy. And this manifested as telekinesis.

 **Boomstick: From tiny things like chalk and little chocolates, to massive heavy objects like an ornate portrait or my di-**

Wiz: She's six.

 **Boomstick: Oh shit, right. Forgot we were talking about a kid... AHEM. Sh-she can move a lot of stuff without touching it...**

Wiz: And that isn't all either. Before she learned to full harness this power, she witnessed first hand some of it's potential capabilities by blowing up a television set with her anger.

 **Boomstick: Not the TV! How will I watch the women's mud wrestling league now?!**

Wiz: Moving away from her powers for a moment, those are not her only impressive attributes. As we discussed earlier, she's far far above the regular level for a child of her age. And even most adults for that matter!

 **Boomstick: She can solve complicated math problems in her head in a matter of split seconds, reads shit that I've never even heard of.**

Wiz: In addition, She has a photographic memory and can remember pretty much everything she sees, reads and hears with incredible detail. which is incredibly useful in a pinch. Since she can just think back on moments of anger to increase the intensity of her powers.

 **FEATS**

 **TAUGHT HERSELF TO READ AND WRITE AS A BABY**

 **CAN PERFORM INCREDIBLY COMPLEX SUMS IN SECONDS**

 **CONVINCED SOMEONE THEY HAD A HAUNTED HOUSE**

 **BLEW UP A TELEVISION SET WITHOUT MOVING**

 **FLEW A CHILD OVER THE SCHOOL YARD**

 **CONTROLLED 30 OLYMPIAN SHOTPUTS AT ONCE WITHOUT DIRECTLY SEEING THEM**

 **Boomstick: Thanks to all this super brain stuff, Matilda has been able to do a lot of stuff that even I never could. Like... Math!**

Wiz: She taught herself how to read and write when she was only a year old, and no matter how complex the sum, she can manage it in seconds.

 **Boomstick: But more importantly though, her powers! These psychic powers have accomplished some awesome things. Such as saving a classmate of hers by using her power to fly him around the school yard and back into a window he was thrown out of!**

Wiz: And more impressively, messing with her principal's house late at night to convince her she was haunted. She was able to very quickly piece together exactly how to scare Trunchbull and did just that. And in doing so, she actually showed the greatest feat of strength that her powers currently have.

 **Boomstick: Oh yeah! I remember. She flung an entire room's worth of huge metal balls down the stairs, right?**

Wiz: That's right. Olympic level shotput. Given Trunchbull's clear determination to be better than anyone else, man or woman, it's incredibly likely these were Olympic level shotput for men. Making each one around 7.26 Kilograms, or just barely over 16lbs. Times that by the approximately 30 shotputs she threw gives 217.8 Kilograms of weight. Or 480lbs if you prefer.

 **Boomstick: Lets not forget that she did all this from outside the house too, while sitting on top of the garage. She couldn't see inside the house! She did all of this without direct line of sight!**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **SOMEWHAT SHORT TEMPER**

 **CHILDISH PRANKSTER**

 **STRONG WINDS CAN INTERFERE WITH HER POWERS**

 **DOESN'T FULLY UNDERSTAND THE EXTENT OF HER POWERS**

Wiz: As you can probably tell, Matilda's powers are insane. But despite her incredible control of nearby objects, even those she can't directly see, she's certainly not all powerful.

 **Boomstick: Well, DUH. She's tiny! It's just like you said earlier. She's only 6. All the brains and powers in the world won't stop her being a child.**

Wiz: It's true. Matilda is still young with a very childish mindset. While she tends to be fairly calm under most situations, if you start getting under her skin, she can be very quick to loose her cool. Especially if she's falsely accused of something.

 **Boomstick: And, like any kid, she's hardly an expert fighter. Hell, She's never actually fought, well... anyone! If anything. she's more of a prankster than a fighter.**

Wiz: Outside of just general problems with Matilda as a fighter, there is also a few small problems with her powers too. Firstly, strong winds can interfere with her powers, knocking things that she's moving off course. But more importantly, Matilda doesn't actually understand how truly powerful her powers are.

 **Boomstick: She didn't even try! I mean, she spent a little while practising to take down her principal, but once that was done, She just kinda... stopped.**

Wiz: Well, to be fair to her, she Stopped because she didn't need it anymore. She'd defeated her villain, left her family to be adopted by her nice teacher, Miss Honey, and even began getting more advanced work for her brain to work on.

 **Boomstick: Who cares?! When you get powers like that, you shouldn't just throw them aside like they're nothing!**

Wiz: Well, you're still right, I suppose. She refined her powers to help her with menial tasks, but never tried to uncover their true potential. That said, it's important to note that the potential is very much still there. And if Matilda were to truly try, it's impossible to say what kind of power could be let loose.

Matilda: No more miss nice girl

 **[DOORS CLOSE]**

Wiz: Once upon a time, there lived an extraordinary sailor, but the Name of Ephraim Longstocking. While much of his history is rather mysterious an unknown, what we do know is that he loved nothing more than sailing the oceans far and wide on his massive ship, the Hoptoad, in search of new places, discoveries and adventures!

 **Boomstick: And clearly he got what he wanted because somewhere along the way, he got married. Then fucked everything up and got his wife pregnant. Oops!**

Wiz: Even less is known about Ephraim's Wife than even Ephraim himself. But we do know that she died shortly after giving birth.

 **Boomstick: Most likely because giving birth on a ship isn't exactly an ideal situation.**

Wiz: With Captain Ephraim and his entire crew never having any experience raising a child before, they were forced to band together and make sure the young girl grew up to be healthy and strong. And for the most part, they did pretty well.

 **Boomstick: Pretty well? Pretty well?! She didn't just grow up healthy and strong. She grew up healthy and STUPIDLY strong!**

Wiz: At least let me finish introducing her before you start yelling about her powers, ok? Ahem... And they named her Pippi.

 **NAME: PIPPI LONGSTOCKING**

 **FULL NAME: PIPPILOTTA DELICATESSA WINDOWSHADE MACKRELMINT EPHRAIM'S DAUGHTER LONGSTOCKING**

 **AGE: 9**

 **BEST FRIENDS: TOMMY AND ANNIKA**

 **FAVOURITE PASSTIME: PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING**

 **MAKES ALL HER OWN CLOTHES**

 **Boomstick: Alright, now as I was saying...**

Wiz: Backstory first, Boomstick. We'll get to the fighting parts soon enough.

 **Boomstick: God damn it!**

Wiz: Ahem. Anyway. Pippi travelled all over the world with her father and his crew, visiting pretty much every country in the world and having crazy adventures. But one evening on the ocean, during a large storm, Pippi's father was washed overboard.

 **Boomstick: The ship's crew, completely lost without their captain, eventually decided to go looking for him, but decided against bringing Pippi. Incase they found her father, y'know, not alive? So they dropped her off at Captain Ephraim's official hometown. A small Swedish village. Where she lived in her father's massive house, Villa Villekulla. Along with her horse, Horse. I know, creative name, right? And her monkey! Mr Nilsson!**

Wiz: Unfortunately for Pippi. Or rather, unfortunately for the town, Pippi having been raised on a ship her whole life had no idea what was considered acceptable behaviour. Like, she knew stealing and hurting people was wrong. But aside little things like how to talk to people or things like that were hard for her to do correctly, which often resulted in trouble.

 **Boomstick: Especially because of... Uhh...**

Wiz: Yes, it's time Boomstick. Go for it.

 **Boomstick: YES!**

 **SLINGSHOT**

 **PEARLS AS AMMO**

 **ACROBATICS**

 **SUPER STRENGTH**

 **SUPER BREATH**

 **CAN CREATE HUGE GUSTS BY BLOWING**

 **SUPER SCREAM**

 **Boomstick: So, like, get this. Pippi is SUPER strong! Like, stupidly strong. There isn't any particular reason as to why. Just as she grew up, her lifting power just skyrocketed. She's been able to lift up people far bigger than herself, and even a horse!**

Wiz: And her strength isn't all she has either. Growing up on a ship, she learned how to climb up the rigging like a professional, giving her incredible skills with gymnastics and acrobatics. Not to mention her breath.

 **Boomstick: GASP! Can she breath fire?!**

Wiz: Umm... No. She CAN breath incredibly powerful gusts of wind though. Powerful enough to pump up an entire hot air balloon by herself. She can also use those gusts to increase the volume of her voice, creating a super scream that could be heard from across an island.

 **Boomstick: Oh right! Almost forgot. We never really see her use it, But Pippi has a slingshot. And she uses pearls as ammo for it. Freaking pearls of all things!**

Wiz: Oh, and it's not so much a power, But she's also incredibly optimistic, to the point that she seems to have no sense of fear at all.

 **Boomstick: It's kinda creepy in a way. Someone could fire a cannon at her face and she'll just smile as the cannonball launches at her. Though... that's not a great example, since she could probably stop a cannonball with her super strength...**

 **FEATS**

 **BEAT THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD IN A WEIGHT LIFTING MATCH**

 **CONSTANTLY PICKS UP MUCH LARGER PEOPLE**

 **BLEW HARD ENOUGH TO MAKE A MASSIVE SHIP SET SAIL**

 **PUSHED THE SAME MASSIVE SHIP THROUGH THE OCEAN WHILE SWIMMING**

 **CAUGHT UP TO A TRAIN WHILE CARRYING A HORSE**

Wiz: Speaking of her strength, she's pulled off things that even the strongest of adults could only dream of. Literally! She beat the world's strongest man in a contest of lifting strength with no effort at all. But that's barely anything.

 **Boomstick: Yeah! She's fast too! She once managed to catch up to a train on foot while carrying her pet horse!**

Wiz: Impressive certainly, but that wasn't what I was referring too.

 **Boomstick: Oh, it wasn't..? Oh! I get it! You're talking about how just a single blow of her breath can set a massive ship to sail without any wind assistance, Right?**

Wiz: Again, incredibly powerful, but still now. I was actually talking about the time her ship was stranded in the middle of the ocean with no wind to pick up. With no other option, she dived into the water and PUSHED the entire ship until they made it back into the wind current!

 **Boomstick: Freaking really? While SWIMMING?!**

Wiz: Comparing a full shot of the ship, her father's Hoptoad, to real life photos, we managed to conclude it was a Barque class ship. Which, at a low ball, would be around 250 tons.

 **Boomstick: And bear in mind, she pushed this with next to no effort... WHILE SWIMMING.**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **CAN'T COUNT / ILLITERATE**

 **HABITUAL LIAR**

 **OVERLY TRUSTING OF TOTAL STRANGERS**

 **UNABLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOOD AND BAD BEHAVIOUR**

 **RELIES HEAVILY ON THINGS SIMPLY WORKING THEMSELVES OUT**

 **VIOLENTLY OPPOSES ANIMAL ABUSE**

 **HIDE AND SEEK (APPARENTLY)**

Wiz: But for as immense as her strength is, it leaves her severely lacking in other areas. Specifically intelligence.

 **Boomstick: She's somewhat quick witted with plans and they work fairly well most of the time. But her actual smarts are preeeeeeetty low. She can't count, can't read, can't write and even is totally unable to tell the difference between what's good behaviour and what's bad.**

Wiz: Of course, this is all most likely due to spending the majority of her life raised on a ship and constantly living in different cultures every day. This made it difficult to learn what was socially acceptable.

 **Boomstick: Which also leads into something else she just LOVES to do. Lie. At any moment with no notice, Pippi loves to just start telling the most fantastical lies and stories. Often for no reason.**

Wiz: She then goes on to justify this by saying...

Pippi: What do you expect from girl who's father is missing and who's mother is in heaven.

Wiz: ...Despite seeming not saddened at all. Leading back into what we mentioned before about her lack of fear. While this can be helpful for keeping a clear head...

 **Boomstick: It can also be kinda bad. For one, she's way too trusting of total strangers. She lets thieves and criminals into her house without a second thought.**

Wiz: In the same vein, she also has a big reliance on simply letting things work themselves out with no input from herself. Which, in a way, is actually pretty lazy.

 **Boomstick: I wouldn't say lazy. Especially since it DOES always seem to work out for her. Often without her having to do anything.**

Wiz: Though god forbid you ever abuse an animal within range of Pippi. She will NOT react to that well. When Pippi DOES put the work in, she almost NEVER fails to achieve her goals.

Ringmaster: And in this corner, we... have...

Pippi: Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Ephraim's Daughter Longstocking. Otherwise known as Pippi Longstocking.

Ringmaster: Riiiight…

 **[DOORS CLOSE]**

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

 **Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!**

 **[DOORS CLOSE]**

School had just finished. And Matilda Honey had just finished up. With her bag slung over her shoulders she walked down the sidewalk with a book in her hands as per usual, reading away. Today, she had a large textbook filled to the brim with information on chemistry. Something felt different today though. She stopped for a second and looked around. Nope. It was an ordinary suburb on the way home. She could even see the house where she used to live with the wormwoods. But then, she noticed someone behind her. She spun around on the spot to see a slightly older girl, with ginger hair and pigtails.

"Hi there! What are you reading?" the older girl asked with a bright smile.

"Oh, uhh... Just an advanced chemistry textbook from school..."

"Oh! So you go to school! How wonderful! I went to school once, That didn't go too well. I was just minding my own business doing my plutofication when were we invaded by aliens! they wanted to"

Matilda took a small step backwards. "Umm, I'm going to go now."

"Huh? Don't you want to hear the end of my story." The girl asked.

Matilda shook her head and turned away to leave. "I don't really have any interest in tall tales or lies." She said bluntly, going back to reading her book and began walking off.

The redhaired girl quickly hurried along, standing in front of Matilda. "Hold on! I'm fairly certain it's rather rude to simply walk away from a conversation. And you didn't even share your name with me."

Matilda tried her best to ignore the redhead, but it was an incredibly hard task considering how persistent she was. She huffed and finally answered. "Matilda Honey. Can You leave me alone now?"

"But I've yet to tell you MY name! I'm Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Ephraim's Daughter Longstocking. Though most people just call me Pippi." The redhaired girl didn't stop there though. She continued to rant on about something or another. Matilda didn't know exactly what, she was using every bit of her strength to try and ignore the other girl. she could feel a twinge in her brain. The familiar sensation of her powers starting to come out. "Oh! and I didn't even introduce you to my friend!" Pippi suddenly took a deep breath in and let out an incredibly loud shout.

 **"MR NIIIIIIIIIILSOOOOOOOON!"** Pippi called out, Matilda dropped her book in favour of covering her ears and letting out a small yelp of pain. By the time she glanced back up at Pippi, she had a monkey perched on her shoulder.

"...Huh..?" Matilda really didn't know how to react.

"Mr Nilson! Meet my new friend. Her name is Matilda! She was just telling about the time she robbed a museum in broad daylight without being caught."

Matilda frowned. She did not like it when people lied about her. "Hey! That isn't true! Stop spreading stories about me!" Pippi was REALLY grating on Matilda now.

"Go say hello to the master criminal, Mr Nilson!" Pippi said, and the monkey suddenly leapt from Pippi's shoulder towards Matilda. The younger girl, clearly growing more irritated every second glared right at the Monkey and suddenly... it stopped... floating right in front of her face. Matilda gave a small sudden tilt of her head and the monkey shot off to the left, smacking right into a tree knocking it out.

"Don't throw monkeys at me, Don't tell lies about me, and STOP annoying me!" Matilda said, Snapping. Pippi's eyes followed Mr Nilson as he went sailing towards that tree before facing Matilda again.

She kept silent for a moment before she finally said. "Did you just do that?"

Matilda just gave a simple nod. "With my mind. Not my hands."

"Woooow... that is really cool!" Pippi said with a bright smile. "Of course, You really should hurt animals. I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson now." She said, her tone as happy and up beat as ever.

Matilda rolled her eyes and turned to walk in another direction, when she heard the sound of metal creaking and tearing. She span around again to see Pippi pulling at a mailbox before finally it snapped and came right off the ground. "Wait...how did you do that."

"With my arms of course. Let's see if you can catch THIS!" Pippi said. Matilda wasn't expecting this and quickly closed her book, sliding it into her bag and then tossed her bag aside.

 **FIGHT**

As expected, Pippi leaned back and with one strong throw, she hurled the mailbox at Matilda. But as it sailed through the air, it's speed began to decrease, before it stopped in midair, right in front of Matilda. With a nod, the mailbox suddenly shot right back at Pippi, once again at full speed, But the redhead simply smiled and gave it a backhand once it was in range, sending it clattering to the ground harmlessly.

"Wow! Those powers of yours are really cool!" Pippi said, as carefree as ever, despite Matilda's anger. She began skipping closer. Matilda didn't let her guard down though. She'd just had a mailbox thrown at her after all. If she hadn't caught it, it could've actually hurt her. "But like I said, using them to hurt animals is just wrong." Suddenly, Pippi's skipping began to turn into a run.

Sensing Pippi was no longer playing around, Matilda grabbed a collection of nearby rocks with her powers and began firing them towards Pippi as she ran, but Pippi simply dodged around every single one. Once the last rock came towards her though, Pippi stopped in her tracks and launched a punch at it instead.

The punch sent the rock hurtling back towards Matilda, who caught it effortlessly and sent it right back yet again. But Pippi just punched it again. The two of them kept this up for a few seconds until Pippi had an idea. As she punched the rock back for the 6th time, She pulled out her slingshot and aimed a pearl at Matilda's forehead, launching it. Matilda, meanwhile was focusing on the rock and only barely noticed the pearl coming at her too. After catching the rock, she dropped her focus of it and let it fall to the ground so she could catch the pearl instead.

Pippi frowned. Seemed that Matilda wasn't easily distracted, then something happened that the redhead didn't see coming. A rock came flying at her from behind, and bashed against the back of her head. Matilda, even while playing catch with Pippi, hadn't dropped her control of the other rocks she'd thrown at Pippi. Clearly, a projectile option was not going to work against Matilda.

Matilda continued to hurl nearby rocks at Pippi and Pippi once again began her charge towards the young girl, this time managing to get up close. She curled her hand into a fist and... WHAM! With one punch, Pippi sent Matilda flying backwards, though seemingly not hard enough to do any serious damage. Matilda collapsed onto the concrete, grazing her elbow in the process.

Matilda quickly scrambled to her feet and looked up to see Pippi coming yet again, not letting up in the slightest. Matilda could feel the sting in her elbow and the anger building. And then she thought of a plan. Pippi got in close yet again and swung her fist at the other girl, But Matilda dodge backwards. Pippi cracked the concrete with the miss but quickly tried again with her other hand, only to find herself unable to move her hand. Her fist had stopped inches away from Matilda's fist but couldn't get any closer. Then, slowly, Pippi began to feel herself pulled up into the air by some unseen force, Matilda glaring the entire time.

Matilda stared intently at the girl, and thought back to the TV she'd blown up. And that was her idea. She let the range build, remembering as much as should could that she had hated in the past.

"If you're a wormwood, then start acting like one"

"Some rats are gonna die today!"

"I'm Smart, you're dumb, I'm big, you're little, I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it!"

Using those moments, she began to glare intently at the helpless girl floating above her and pictured what would happen next. The girl exploding, just like her old TV.

"As fun as this is..." Pippi said, seemingly not scared at all from where she was. "I'm not a bird. I prefer being on the ground. So if you don't mind..." And with that, Pippi took a single deep breath and then blew it all out, shooting her suspended body right back down to earth with force that Matilda was prepared for. Pippi crashed into Matilda, knocking her down, before rolling a little further down the street herself. Near the entrance to a trainyard.

Matilda didn't know how to react. The girl somehow managed to get out of her grasp. Well, she wasn't going to let it happen again. She'd do it again, but this time, she'd use her powers to keep thee girl's mouth shut. She pulled herself back to her feet again, and turned around to see something shocking, Pippi was standing down the street, holding a car above her head.

"Y'know, Matilda. You're powers are incredible! Let's see how strong they really are though!" She leaned back, and then hurled the car right at Matilda. Matilda had never had to grab something so big before. She put both her hands up, as if that would help, and pushed as much of her psychic energy at the car as she could. And, sure enough, the car began to slow down. But only barely. Matilda gritted her teeth, and a small trickle of blood began to trail down from her nose until finally, she managed to bring the flying car to a stop. she let go of it as soon as she could, dropping it down onto the road.

"G-geez... My head hurts..." she muttered to herself. Placing a hand on her temple. However, her short rest was suddenly broken when Pippi suddenly dashed in, and grabbed Matilda by her hair, giving a sharp tug and a swing, she sent the younger girl flying into the train yard they'd were near.

Somehow, Matilda managed to miraculously land on her feet, still rubbing her sore head. Pippi leapt in after and sauntered over to a nearby old train that had been left to rust. "Ok, so you can stop a car. That's pretty impressive. But let's try this..!" She said, grabbing a hold of the train.

"...She can't be serious... right?" But sure enough, with no problems at all, Pippi lifted the entire train car up above her head.

"Alright, Matilda! CATCH!" She shouted playfully, hurling the train

Matilda began to panic. But tried to calm herself at almost the same instant. Once again, she gritted her teeth and held her hands out, forcing out as much psychic power as she could. Both her nostrils were bleeding now, and tears had began to form in her eyes. She could feel her brain throbbing inside of her skull. But... Sure enough... the train did begin to slow! She could still do this..! She closed her eyes tightly for extra concentrations.

Pippi tapped her chin with her finger. "Hmm... I don't think I put enough OOMPH into that throw... Maybe I'll give it a little extra!" She thought happily. She took a few steps back and then began running towards the train. She leapt forward, soaring through the air and gave a solid, full power punch to the back of the train.

And just like that, The train shot forwards again. Feeling the sudden gain in speed, Matilda's eyes shot open again... in time to see a train inches from her nose. With a loud slam, the train smashed right into Matilda and kept on moving, until it eventually collided with the far concrete wall of the train yard with an incredibly loud crash. Red liquid could be seen splatted onto the wall and around the ground where the train stopped.

"Huh... Guess you couldn't catch it. Oh well. At least now you'll know for next time!" Pippi said, before skipping off on her merry way.

 **[DOORS CLOSE]**

 **K.O.**

Pippi makes her way back the tree where Mr Nilson lay unconscious and picks him up, skipping off with him down the road. Meanwhile, Miss Honey is sitting in her porch, waiting for Matilda to return home.

 **Boomstick: Ouch... Matilda pancakes. That's not gonna be a pretty sight when they move the train...**

Wiz: In terms of a fight, Matilda and Pippi are both very hard to analyse. Both of them are pacifists and don't fight, so trying to determine a lot of stuff can be incredibly difficult. But despite all that we eventually settled on Pippi as the winner.

 **Boomstick: Pippi, despite having no where near the level of intelligence Matilda has, is just way too fast and strong. No girl her age should have that kind of power!**

Wiz: Pippi's strength far outclassed any show of strength Matilda has ever made with her powers. And her speed and super breath make it very easy for Pippi to avoid being held still. But more than anything else, Matilda just doesn't have near enough experience to properly take part in this kind of fight.

 **Boomstick: While psychic powers seem super awesome from the offset, especially the explosion causing, Matilda's never had any interest in training up her power, or even testing her own limits. So it would be unfair to say that she could catch things as heavy as cars or trains, which as we know from the ship feat, Pippi has no problem picking up.**

Wiz: Ultimately, there was nothing stopping Pippi from just hurling cars, boulders or, in this case, trains at Matilda until one of them killed her.

 **Boomstick: See Matilda? This is why when it comes to trains you should always MIND the gap.**

Wiz: That can't be the best you have...

 **Boomstick: It's a slow day for puns! Don't judge me!**

Wiz: The winner is Pippi Longstocking.

 **[DOORS CLOSE]**

 **Boomstick: Next time on death battle!**

?-1: do you wanna have a bad time? cause if you take another step forward… you are REALLY not going to like what happens next.

?-2: NO! I WANNA BE THE GUY!

?-1: welp… sorry, old lady. this is why i never make promises.

 **COMING SOON.**


	14. Episode 12: The Kid VS sans

WELL WELL WELL. LOOK WHO DECIDED TO CRAWL OUT OF HIS CAVE.

Hey guys! So yeah… I had a bit of a… unintentional hiatus. I didn't mean too, I swear! I just… I'm lazy. I've had the analysis sections done for a while but I just kept procrastinating when it came to actually writing the fight. BUT I FINALLY DID IT. So yes, I'm back.

Also, before you read this episode of my fan-made death battles, there is something new I've added to this episode. Something I call "Youtube codes." IN the actual fight section, I've added musical cues! I just had to since both of these games have such kickASS soundtracks. Since there is no way to actually link the music tracks on this site, each music cue will feature a code like this:

"*Cue death battle theme song – Invader* watch?v=uihVrASDQhU"

To access the song, simply go to the homepage for youtube and paste the code to the end of the URL. And make sure there is a "/" between the url and the code. This will take you to the cued song.

BUT ANYWAY. Enough of that. On to the episode!

* * *

Wiz: When it comes to fighting, there are plenty of ways to go about it.

 **Boomstick: A few of my personal favourites are gun fights, sword fights, car fights, fist fights...**

Wiz: But more importantly than weapon choice, is fight styles and strategies. And today's two fighters follow a strict defensive style when it comes to fighting. Excessive dodging

 **Boomstick: Because even one hit would take down both of them!**

Wiz: The Kid, the young boy on a quest to become the guy.

 **Boomstick: And sans. The pun loving skeleton and judge of the underground.**

Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's out job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE.

[DOORS CLOSE]

Wiz: Dreams. Ambitions. Aspirations. Everyone has them, even if they think they don't. An overall goal that they desperately want to reach more than anything else.

 **Boomstick: Mine is to collect two of every single weapon in existence, Noah's Ark style. The day that happens, I can die happy.**

Wiz: And in the town of... Home... The goal of many is to one day achieve the title of "The Guy".

 **Boomstick: What's "the guy"? Is it like being a ruler or something?**

Wiz: Ehh, sort of? It's more like Being champion. The strongest of all time. To become The Guy, you must assassinate the current guy. Or at the very least defeat them in combat.

 **Boomstick: Former Guys even include past DEATH BATTLE combatants such as Ryu Hayabusa, M. Bison, Scrooge McDuck and even the glorious Mike Haggar, god rest his moustache.**

Wiz: It was always prophesied that one day, a chosen one would come, a young boy dressed in blue and red, and that he would claim the title of The Guy as his own for the rest of time. And this prophecy would soon be proven... false.

 **NAME: THE KID**

 **AGE: 15**

 **HOMETOWN: HOME**

 **FAMILY: GRANDFATHER AND FATHER (BOTH FORMER GUYS)**

 **LEFT HOME TO AVENGE GRANDFATHER**

 **Boomstick: It's true that a child in the outfit did take the title of The Guy. He even grew up to have kids, and even a grand kid! But unlike the prophecy said, he didn't make it the rest of time. Hell, he didn't even out live his kids.**

Wiz: This chosen guy was murdered and his Title was taken. And this infuriated his Grandson. So his grandson did the only thing he could think of. He took his Grandfather's old Cape and Gun and set out to avenge his beloved grandfather by killing the Guy and taking the title for himself.

 **Boomstick: And his name was..! ...Uhh...**

Wiz: No name, Boomstick. He was just known as The Kid.

 **Boomstick: Bullshit! He's gotta have SOME kind of name. Does everyone one jut call him Kid?**

Wiz: Well, yes. The only ever person who calls him by another name is The Guy himself. But that's for a different reason entirely. When The Kid finally made it to the Castle of the Guy, he entered the final room, only to find his father there.

 **Boomstisk: WHOA! Spoilers!**

Wiz: As it turns out, The Kid's father betrayed the trust of the Grandfather and killed him to take his position. And had no qualms about trying to kill his own son to keep his title intact.

 **Boomstick: But luckily, this Kid is a lot tougher than his size and ever present smile would lead you to believe.**

 **CAPE OF HERO**

 **VERY SMALL GUN**

 **TINY BULLETS**

 **FOUR BULLETS AT A TIME**

 **GIFT FROM HIS GRANDFATHER**

 **GUN OF THE GUY**

 **GIANT BULLETS**

 **BULLETS GO THROUGH WALLS OR BOUNCE**

 **SPREAD SHOT**

 **SUPER GIANT SHOT**

 **Boomstick: For example, This kid's packin' heat!**

Wiz: The Kid mainly battles using his Grandfather's old weapon,the "Very Small Gun". While not incredibly powerful, it has an infinite supply of ammo and said ammo can take down even incredibly tough foes if the user is persistent enough. Though it can only fire four incredibly small bullets at a time.

 **Boomstick: Kinda pathetic if you ask me. But that doesn't matter because even if that gun isn't the best in the world, it was good enough to defeat his dear old dad and take the gun of the guy. Now THIS is a weapon. Look at the size of that thing!**

Wiz: The Gun of the Guy is a lot more versatile than the Very Small Gun, with a variety of firing modes. For one, it's bullets are massive, towering over even The Kid himself. The bullets can even hit targets through walls.

 **Boomstick: On top of that, the gun can be charged for one super giant bullet. And this bad boy doesn't go through walls. It bounces off of them! After bouncing, it will re-aim itself at whatever the intended target for the shot was. Though the bullet IS kinda slow. But even so, He can always go for a spread shot! This attack launches out a wave of multiple giant bullets at once, Making it super hard to try and dodge.**

Wiz: And finally, while not a weapon, his Grandfather's old cape has an ability of it's own. No one's exactly sure how it does it, but this cape somehow allows the kid the perform a second jump in midair, allowing himself great aerial mobility

 **FEATS**

 **INSANE REACTION TIME**

 **BEAT THE BOSSES**

 **MIKE TYSON**

 **DRACULA**

 **MOTHER BRAIN**

 **MECHA BIRDO**

 **KRAIDGEIF**

 **BOWSER, WART AND DR WILY**

 **DEVIL DRAGON**

 **THE (FORMER) GUY**

 **SURVIVED 1 DELICIOUS FRUIT IN SUPER MEAT BOY**

 **HELPED RESCUE BANDAGE GIRL**

 **BECAME THE GUY**

 **Boomstick: With nothing but his cape and gun, this Kid managed to pull off some insane shit. Like we mentioned before, he managed to avenge his grandpappy and kill his father, to take the Title of "The Guy".**

Wiz: But before he could even step into the castle of the guy, The Kid had to take down the bosses guarding it. He took down the behemoth Mike Tyson. Dracula himself, from Castlevania, Kraidgeif, the unholy fusion of Kraid from Metroid and Zangeif from Street Fighter.

 **Boomstick: Not to mention the missile spitting Mecha Birdo and two previous death battle combatants, Dr Wily and Bowser!**

Wiz: And even before he went on his quest to become the guy, The Kid helped out Super Meat Boy in his adventure to save Bandage Girl from the evil Dr Fetus. Thanks to well placed Warp Zone that let Meat Boy meet The Kid in the town of Home. Though the Canonicity of this adventure is questionable.

 **Boomstick: Well, canon or not, both adventures show one key thing about The Kid. He can dodge like a motherfucker!**

Wiz: Due to The Kid's incredibly flimsy defences, he always has no choice but to simply dodge absolutely anything coming his way. And to say he's good at this is a LUDICROUS understatement.

 **Boomstick: This kid's dodged shit like the speeding apples**

Wiz: Actually, they're called Delicious Fruit. And they're more like giant Cherries.

 **Boomstick: Whatever. They're fast, and deadly, as fuck and The Kid can dodge them. He also dodged shooting spikes, The MOON falling towards him and even bolts of freaking lighting. LIGHTNING!**

Wiz: Needless to say, The Kid is not only fast enough to dodge all this, but his reaction time is so fast, it may as well be precognition. It's almost like he knows what obstacle will be around the corner waiting for him.

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **SPIKES**

 **THE MOON HATES HIM**

 **ALMOST ALWAYS DIES IN ONE HIT**

 **Boomstick: But, of course, there's a reason he's able to dodge so well. As we mentioned before he has no choice! The poor kid can't take a hit to save his life. Literally!**

Wiz: Be it Delicious fruit, Bullet Bills, Tombstones or even a simple bird swooping down at him, so much as the slightest graze will, most of the time, cause The Kid just, well... explode, for lack of a better term.

 **Boomstick: His entire body just combusts, sending bits of blood everywhere. How the hell does that even happen?!**

Wiz: It's gets weirder. Spikes are his kryptonite. And I don't just mean the pointed sharp part. Even touching the smooth side of spike will cause him to explode.

 **Boomstick: Wh-... HOW!?**

Wiz: No idea, Boomstick. No Idea.

 **Boomstick: Welp... good thing he's not dumb enough to go brushing up against the sides of spikes then.**

Wiz: Very true. Despite his insane frailty, his incredible dodging abilities more than make up for it. For his sake though, I hope Defence really is the best offence.

The Kid: Wait..! Former grandfather The Guy! You killed him!

The Guy: As you will now try to kill me... Or be killed yourself!

The Kid: NO! I WANNA BE THE GUY!

[DOORS CLOSE]

Wiz: A long, long time ago, The world was inhabited by two intelligent races. Humans and Monsters. For the longest time, these races lived in perfect peace until one day, the humans attacked.

 **Boomstick: Fearing the monsters' ability to absorb a human soul, they forced the monsters underground and got seven powerful wizards to place a barrier around all exits to the underground, so that anyone who entered could never leave, so the monsters would be stuck. Needless to say, the monsters weren't exactly thrilled.**

Wiz: For a couple of generations, the monsters were stranded, but they never gave up hope. And they were constantly trying to figure out a way to break the magical seal. And one of the monsters working on this was a Skeleton by the name of sans.

 **NAME: SANS**

 **AGE: ?**

 **HOMETOWN: SNOWDIN**

 **FAMILY: HIS BROTHER PAPYRUS**

 **SOME FORM OF SCIENTIFIC BACKGROUND**

Wiz: Very little is known about sans' time working as a scientist, but over the course of his job, his attitude towards life began to change, slowly becoming more hopeless and nihilistic. He hid these feelings behind a veil of jokes, bad puns and an all around goofy persona.

 **Boomstick: Feeling pretty bummed out, sans quit his job and moved out to the village of Snowdin with his little brother, Papyrus, where they began working as Sentry Guards, looking out for any humans who might have fallen into the underground, so they could capture them.**

Wiz: After a particularly awful incident involving the King of Monster's son dying, orders were given to kill any and all humans who entered the underground. And sans, well...

 **Boomstick: Let's just say that sans was particularly good at this job. While it's not ever clear how many of the fallen humans sans was able to take out himself, we don't even need to know! Because it IS clear just how much of a badass this skeleton is! All thanks to a little thing called the Genocide Run.**

 **EXPERT DODGER**

 **TELEPORTATION**

 **MAGIC ATTACKS**

 **BONES**

 **BLUE SOUL ABILITY**

 **GASTER BLASTERS**

 **SOUL-KINESIS**

 **CAN SWITCH ATTACKS MID-WAY THROUGH**

 **ATTACKS TARGET SOULS, NOT PHYSICAL FORMS**

 **THE SPECIAL ATTACK**

 **KARMIC RETRIBUTION**

 **BLUE HOODIE AND SLIPPERS**

Wiz: Unbeknownst to most of the inhabitants of the underground, sans was actually an incredibly powerful monster. In fact, he was likely one of the most powerful monsters in all of the underground.

 **Boomstick: Now hold on Wiz. Sure, the dude's got a nice supply of bad puns, but he can't be THAT powerful, right?**

*Cue a clip of sans' first attack* watch?v=uYjwrTkvm40

 **Boomstick: Oh fuck! That's badass!**

Wiz: As a monster, sans' offensive abilities are almost entirely focused on magical abilities, rather than physical attacks. See, monsters are genetically built in a completely different way to pretty much any other species. Their physical form is composed of mostly of their own soul. As such, despite having a physical form, they have very little physical presence to actually attack with.

 **Boomstick: So basically, they use their own souls to create magic attacks instead! But, just like a physical attack has to hit a physical form, a soul attack has to hit a soul.**

Wiz: That's right. So all of sans' attacks aim for the soul, rather than the physical body. And he has a lot of attacks to use too. Such as his Soul Bones. A series of bone shaped projectiles that are launched at the target in a variety of patterns. and as a bonus, he has a special Blue attack to help compliment this attack.

 **Boomstick: The blue attack forces an enemy's soul to deal with gravity, to make dodging his bone magic much harder. But the bones are nothing! He's also got his Gaster Blasters. They're this weird face shaped magic guns that fire giant lasers at souls.**

Wiz: Though it seems that sans is unable to use the Gaster Blasters in conjunction with the Blue Soul ability, so he's not able to limit movement too much while using them.

 **Boomstick: He also has an ability known as "soul-kinesis". It's sorta like telekinesis, except it only lets sans throw around souls, instead of other shit like rocks or people. This move doesn't seem to usually cause any real damage to a soul, but if he's desperate enough, it can.**

Wiz: Though no matter how desperate he gets, Soul-kinesis seems to be unable to deliver a killing blow. Likely due to his stats.

 **Boomstick: Why? What's wrong with his stats?**

Wiz: Well... Attack, defence and HP. All of sans' stats are 1.

 **Boomstick: What?! Then but that makes no sense! He's one of the most powerful monsters, right?**

Wiz: Yes, he is. But mostly because of an ability that is entirely unique to him. Karmic Retribution. This ability is almost like a form of poison. When he attacks a soul with any ability, It will continually deal 1 unit of damage for every moment that the attack is in contact with a soul. As such, even though his stats are the minimum possible, He can deal the minimum possible damage at an unlimited rate, so long as his attack makes contact.

 **Boomstick: So even though he does next to no damage, he can do it infinitely in just an instant?**

Wiz: Pretty much. Though as the name suggests, this ability is tied directly to the sins of the target. Specifically, their LV and EXP. That is to say, Level of Violence and Execution Points.

 **Boomstick: Wait, hold up. You said ALL his stats are 1, right. Even his defensive stats.**

Wiz: That's right. His defence and HP are both 1 too. Meaning that even one attack is a guaranteed kill, no matter how powerful the attack is. So long as the attack has intent to harm, at least.

 **Boomstick: I guess that's why he's so good at dodging and teleporting, right? He kinda has to be or he's dead!**

Wiz: Finally, sans has his special attack. It's never truly made clear how he does this, but sans is able to stop the foe from attacking at all. If sans' foe attempt to make an attack, sans can simply blink them back to their previous position.

 **Boomstick: Wha... HOW?!**

Wiz: I have no proof of this, and it's just a theory, but it's likely to do with his temporal knowledge, in combination with his ability to switch his own attacks midway through... but that's a total guess. The point is, sans can keep his foe from making any attack, so long as sans himself makes no attacks either.

 **FEATS**

 **TELEPORTED FROM WATERFALL TO GRILLBY'S**

 **ABLE TO DODGE ATTACKS FROM GENOCIDE-FRISK**

 **POSSIBLY KILLED GENOCIDE-FRISK UP TO 12 TIMES**

 **CAPABLE OF BEATING A SOULLESS BEING MULTIPLE TIMES**

 **AWARE OF UNDERTALE GAME MECHANICS**

Wiz: His stats may be low, but sans' achievements prove that he knows how to handle himself. His teleportation is powerful enough to allow him instant movement from his sentry post in waterfall all the way to his favourite bar, Grillby's. And he was able to take Frisk with him too!

 **Boomstick: Let's not forget his in-battle achievements too! Given he can only ever take one hit, that means for his entire life, he's be able to avoid every single attack that attempted to harm him. Including the serial killer, Genocide-frisk... mostly.**

Wiz: And not only that, thanks to his awareness of alternate timeliness, if we assume every line of dialogue in undertale canonically happened at some point, it's totally possible that he killed the LVL 19 Genocide-frisk upwards of 12 times!

 **Boomstick: And Genocide-Frisk was able to kill the human-killing Mettaton NEO and the nigh-unstoppable Undyne, in her undying form!**

Wiz: It's also important to note that some of Flowey's dialogue implies that at some point, he had fought sans and repeatedly lost. Which is incredibly impressive for one reason. Flowey is a soul-less being, which means he has no soul to act as a target for sans' magic attacks, which means despite his stats and biology as a monster, sans was able to kill Flowey with a physical attack!

 **Boomstick: On top of everything, sans is also fully aware of all the mechanics of his world as a game. He knows how LV and EXP works and can also sense it somehow, understands the save ability and knows how to abuse RPG battle systems to keep his enemies from fighting.**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **ALL STATS ARE 1**

 **CAN GROW FATIGUED AND TIRED**

 **INCREDIBLY LAZY**

 **SOMETIMES A LITTLE OVER CONFIDENT**

Wiz: Despite all this, it's important to remember that sans is NOT invincible. Far from it, in fact. It most likely took an incredibly amount of trial and error, but Genocide-Frisk DID eventually defeat sans. For a number of reasons actually.

 **Boomstick: sans is super lazy. He spends most of his free time slacking off, telling jokes and hanging out at Grillby's. Not a bad way to live, if i do say so myself. But it does mean he probably doesn't get much practice or exercise.**

Wiz: As a side effect, sans hasn't got a lot of stamina. It won't take a super long time for him to grow fatigued and lazy mid fight, which causes him to start cutting corners or going for cheap shots in hopes of a quick win.

 **Boomstick: And if that doesn't work, he might even just fall asleep right there and then in the middle of battle. Though he can still dodge attacks in his sleep... somehow.**

Wiz: But unfortunately, he's also at least a little bit cocky. He's more than happy to smile and taunt even major threats to his own safety. This ultimately led to his death in the Genocide run when he decided to taunt Genocide-Frisk, not expecting a double attack.

 **Boomstick: C'mon, sans. Focus! Save the puns and one-lines for AFTER the death. It's not that hard.**

Wiz: sans's drawbacks hold him back from being truly unstoppable, but his dodging is still top quality and his power incredible. In short, if you mess with this skeleton, you're definitely in for a bad time.

sans: please, if you're listening... let's forget all of this, ok? just lay down your weapon, and... well, my job will be a lot easier..

*Frisk attacks sans ans he effortlessly dodges.*

sans: welp, it was worth a shot. guess you like doing things the hard way, huh?

[DOORS CLOSE]

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

 **Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!**

[DOORS CLOSE]

*Cue Undertale - In My Way* watch?v=gtc6LniCvYg

sans stood alone in the judgement hall. it had been less than a day since the human child had emerged from the ruins of the Snowdin Forest, and the young boy had been bolting through the underground at an incredible speed, happily killing anyone who stood in his way for more than a few seconds. sans didn't know what this kid was up to, but he couldn't let this kid go any further.

And then, he arrived. The door at the end of the hallway burst open and a young boy with wild hair and a red cape came running in. His gun in hand, he completely ignored sans and jumped over him. He was heading right for the door.

"oh no you don't..." sans said, giving a flick of his wrist, and four giant bones sprang up from the ground, blocking the door and Stopping the kid from getting too close to it. "you think you can just go right past me after everything you've done. you need to be judged fairly, just like anyone el-."

*Cut all music*

"DIE MONSTER! You don't belong in this world!" The Kid suddenly shouted out in his unusually high pitched voice, turning to face sans.

"...say what now?" sans replied. If he had eyebrows, one of them would have raised.

*Cue IWBTG - Castle of the Guy* watch?v=m1N6IqIq_Rg

"So! You're the latest boss to try and stand in my way. Well, TOO BAD. I'm the guy and I gotta protect my title! So I gotta get back to my castle if I wanna keep being the guy! And the only way to do that is to get out of here. If that means killing you to open the door, then so be it!"

sans' eyes grew pitch black and his smile grew wider. "you killed monsters throughout the underground... to protect your title? heh heh heh... on days like this, kids like you... should burning in hell." sans' left eye began to glow bright blue, initiating combat and causing The Kid's soul to appear before him.

 **FIGHT**

sans immediately activated his soul-kinesis, causing the Kid's soul to become blue and drop to the ground. As if sensing something was going to happen, The Kid jumped up, bringing his soul with him to avoid the bones as they shot out of the floor. Once they had retracted, The Kid Landed again and his soul had turned back to red, he glanced up and noticed a giant wall of bones heading towards him, with one gap near the top. He leapt up once again, noticing this time that his soul was still following him. He tried to stay airborne as the wall continued to pass, but eventually he began to fall... but he fell right through the bones without them hurting him. He did noticed however, that he'd somehow kept his soul airborne. And then he got it. That little red heart was the only part the skeleton could hit!

Once the wall of bones had past, sans continued right on by summoning four Gaster blasters around The Kid's soul in a square. They fired, but The Kid kept his soul in the centre, avoiding the beams. Then four more came in, rearranged differently. This time they were aimed directly at The Kid's soul, in a cross shape. He quickly brought his soul out of the way to the left. As if sans knew he would do that, the original four Gaster blasters returned in the square shape and The Kid quickly dragged his soul back to the centre. And then finally, after those four blasters left, two more GIANT blasters flew in, aiming at the soul from opposite directions. The both fired off a giant beam and The Kid quickly brought his soul upwards to avoid it.

*Cue Undertale - The song that might play when you fight sans.* watch?v=41YOknSl0zw

After those two blaster left, sans simply smile at The Kid again. "heh... a perfect dodge of my first attack. not bad kid. you're a quick learner. let's see how quickly you learn that surrender is the only option." and then he stopped. The Kid took this chance to whip out his Very Small Gun and fire off a volley of four bullets directly at sans. But, of course, the Skeleton deftly dodged out of the way. "bullets, eh? don't see many non-magic projectiles down in the underground. my turn!"

Once again, sans raised his hand and turned The Kid's soul blue again. With an upward flick of his skeletal wrist, The Kid's soul shot upwards, slamming into the roof. On instinct, The Kid tried to pull his soul back, making it jump out of reach of a group of bones that suddenly shot out from the roof, attempting to hit the soul. sans didn't let up though. He continued to flick his wrist in different directions and attempt bone attacks, but The Kid continued to narrowly avoid the bones.

Once The Kid's soul returned to it's original red colour, he leapt right into action. Literally! He leapt right up into the air, double jumping and firing his gun down at sans. He tried to fire all over the place, but sans, once again, managed to dodge all 4 bullets with ease. "Stay still already!" Yelled out The Kid as he landed again.

"what? you really think i'll just stand and take it? i'm not that kinda skeleton". More bones began hurtling towards The Kid's soul, which had once again been turned blue. The kid made his soul jump out of the way but just as he cleared the attack, everything went black. Just for a split second. When everything came back to normal, The Kid's soul was right in front of him again, with an odd pattern of bones flying right towards him. Acting quickly, he once again timed his soul's jumps just right to weave through the pattern. Then the world cut to black again. This time when everything came back, it was the first attack again, with more bones shooting at The Kid's soul.

The Kid's soul jumped again, only to be hit with another sudden black out. When the world came back, his soul was red again, but there was a Gaster blaster right behind him. It fired and The Kid was hit dead on! His soul was blasted and he quickly moved it out of the way. Despite his body being untouched, pain shot through him from the blast that hit his heart. And the pain seemed to grow every second thanks to the Karmic Retribution. With The Kid momentarily caught off guard by the attack, sans raised his hand and another Gaster Blaster materialized in front of The Kid and fired. The blast completely engulfed the Kid and his soul and the boy quickly leapt back out of the laser, panting and trying incredibly hard to catch his breath. He looked like he was on his last legs.

*Cut all music*

"heh heh heh... you're looking pretty tired there kid." sans said, walking a little closer to The Kid, while the karmic retribution slowly whittled down The Kid's HP. "Y'know... There's an easier way to end this fight."

*Cue Undertale - The Choice* watch?v=C4Wv5M9JPao

"you've cause a lot of pain to all the monsters living underground. but despite all your murder, i still don't think your a bad kid. just... misguided." sans said, offering his skeletal hand out to The Kid. "you don't have to kill anyone. you could come with me. we could be buddies. we could end this silly fight right here and move on with our lives. Wha'd'ya say?"

The Kid slowly pulled himself up from his crouched position, allowing his soul to float freely in front of him once again. The karmic retribution had taken him down to just a few HP. He glanced down to sans' extended hand, then down at his Very Small Gun. Then, with a Grimace, The Kid threw his gun aside.

"that's it, kid. c'mere. let's hug it out." sans said, preparing a secret attack. But then The Kid responded in a way he hadn't expected.

"...NO!" The kid yelled, and then, from seemingly nowhere, he whipped out the towering weapon, the Gun of the Guy. "I WANNA BE THE GUY!"

*Cue Undertale – Megalovania* watch?v=ZcoqR9Bwx1Y

The Kid took aim and sans' eyes suddenly grew wide. The Kid pulled the trigger and a large bullet of energy shot from the gun towards sans, and the skeleton quickly warped out of the way. "the hell..?!" The Kid wasn't done yet though. He continued to fire, launching bullet after bullet towards sans. Without even taking his hands out of his pockets, sans continued evading to seemingly no limit. It was crazy how fast he moved. It was impossible to tell if he was sidestepping the bullets or teleporting out of the way. Each of the bullets that missed phased right through the wall of the Judgement hall after the passed sans.

"Stay still, Monster!" The Kid shouted out, switching his gun to spreadshot mode. With a single pull of the trigger, the gun fired off a massive wave of even bigger bullets. sans quickly dodged past the wave, only to see another wave heading at him. And another, and another! Starting to get a little frustrated, sans continued doing what he did best. Warping back and forth and sliding left and right, sans was forced to put a lot more effort into his dodging. Sweat began to form on the brow of his skull.

As sans began getting closer and closer with each dodge, The Kid jumped up high, using his cape to propel himself even higher and fired off one more wave of massive bullets down at sans. "oh no you don't..." sans said, it was almost a growl even. Even now, while panting for breath, he warped forward, narrowly avoiding the wave of energy bullets. The moment he was out of danger, his left eye flashed bright blue and sans raised his hand. With a solid swing down, he brought The Kid's soul flying back to slam into the floor.

*Cue IWBTG - The Guy Fight* watch?v=tqBwVk3dcdA

The Kid pulled back on his cap and dropped back down to the ground to be level with sans once again. "y-you don't know... w-when to give up... do you..?" sans said, in between breaths. As if on cue, The Kid immediately raised his gun and fired one more, absolutely MASSIVE energy bullet at sans. And, of course, sans dodged right out of the way. "ok. that's it!" sans said, getting a little more frustrated. Using his soul-kinesis once again, her began flailing his left arm wildly, throwing The Kid's soul all over the place and slamming it into every wall or surface he could, shaving off the last of The Kid's HP until he was at 1HP, but no matter how much he slammed the soul around after that, it refused to go any lower. The Kid was barely standing.

The Kid didn't give up though. He raised his gun and began to pull the trigger when... DING! There was a high-pitched short ringing noise, and The Kid's gun was back by his side. He raise the weapon to sans again. DING! and again! DING! "sorry kid. but if we keep going on how we're going, you're eventually gonna get a lucky shot. i'm not gonna let that happen. as long as it's still my turn, you're not gonna be able to make another att-"

*Cut all music*

 **BAM!**

"w-what..?" sans said, eyes wide in shock. That last shot that he dodged. The absolutely massive energy bullet... it continued travelling after it missed and bounced off of the far wall, to come back and hit sans in the back while he was busy with The Kid. "n-no way... heh heh... w-welp... guess that's that. i-i'm... heading to... g-grillbys..." and just like that, sans closed his eyes and fell apart, disintegrating into dust...

*Cue IWBTG - Game Over* watch?v=nmBwqRhGznI

"YEAH!" The Kid cheered happily, seemingly forgetting about all of the soul damage he'd taken. And just like that, he picked up his Very Small Gun then walked off and out of the now unblocked judgement hall, onwards towards the barrier back to the human world!

[DOORS CLOSE]

 **K.O.**

*Cue IWBTG - Ending theme* watch?v=mHxm-SOlJ4g

The Kid makes his way towards the barrier keeping him underground and tries to break out. Asgore approaches him confused. Meanwhile, in the judgement hall, a small pile of dust lays in the middle of the room, with a bottle of ketchup in the centre of it.

 **Boomstick: ONE PUUUUUUNCH! Or, well... One bullet I guess**

Wiz: While sans is a great evader and has some incredibly powerful soul magic, it simply wasn't enough to take down The Kid.

 **Boomstick: Yeah I mean... it's not hard to figure out when you realize that only one of them has a 100% dodge rate, y'know?**

Wiz: True. First, in regards to The Kid, his reaction speed AND dodging speed outranks anything sans could do. He was able to avoid lightning bolts which, as we mentioned in a previous episode, move at 98,348,800 meters per second. Around 1 third of the speed of light! sans has never had to dodge anything that fast before.

 **Boomstick: But didn't Frisk dodge lightning in various battles. Including against Asriel Dreemurr? And he was able to fight with Undyne too! And she could run SUPER fast! Shouldn't sans scale to that?**

Wiz: Well, actually, Frisk has never once dodged real lightning. Sure, his SOUL has dodged lightning themed magic attacks. But there is absolutely nothing to suggest this magic was actual lightning. It only target's his soul after all. On top of that. Asriel's lightning attack is heavily telegraphed for Frisk so he's able to get out of the way before the bolt can fire. As for Undyne, It's true that her running speed is through the roof... but well... that doesn't mean Frisk is the same. During Frisk's fight with Undyne, she never ONCE attempts to dodge an attack or even move. Frisk can miss by not aiming correctly. But Undyne stays still during the entire fight. As show in the pacifist run by the fact that upon selecting the run option, she has not moved at all. And during a genocide run, upon the fight ending, Geno-Frisk is still in the exact same spot he began in.

 **Boomstick: But he must be moving! His soul moves around all the time during the fights!**

Wiz: Yes. his SOUL moves. Not his body. As shown by the Muffet fight, in which his soul is free to move, despite his body being completely sealed in webbing. All of this proves that there is absolutely no evidence that Frisk would have any kind of speed feats for sans to scale against. He's simply dodging a child waving a knife at him.

 **Boomstick: Riiiight. And I'm pretty sure a bullet is faster than a knife. So it makes sense it would be tougher to dodge.**

Wiz: That said, it wouldn't exactly be a piece of cake for The Kid to dodge either. The Kid is used to more physical foes and has to focus on actually using his body to evade attacks in a fight. As such, it would be a big assumption to conclude he would be able to adapt to the Underground's soul system flawlessly. So taking a few hits would be inevitable. Lucky for him, none of sans' attacks deliver any significant physical damage.

 **Boomstick: Right! Because sans has a monster soul, right?**

Wiz: You're learning, Boomstick! That's right. A monster's soul is incredibly weak in comparison to a Human's soul. That's why a child such as Frisk is able to kill powerful monsters such as Undyne and Asgore with only a little effort. As such, physical attacks from a monster have next to no effect on The Kid. And seeing as the kid survived re-entry after his fight with Mike Tyson, it makes sense he's be able to withstand a small physical attack from the likes of sans' bones magic.

 **Boomstick: But... wait a sec. Wasn't it implied that Sans was able to kill Flowey? Flowey doesn't have soul, so that would mean sans'd have to beat him with physical attacks!**

Wiz: Exactly. Since Flowey has NO soul, that would make him even weaker than both monsters and humans in his base form. So even the weak soul of a monster would be capable of killing him. However, none of this really mattered anyway. Since sans would've had to rely on soul magic to kill The Kid, then The Kid would have the same advantage that Frisk had. EXP and LOVE.

 **Boomstick: The Kid has killed in the past. Even his own father! So he must've gained execution points and increased his level of violence before his trip underground. So yeah, he'd be vulnerable to Karmic Retribution, but he'd also have a shit-ton of chances to tank hits before he actually keeled over.**

Wiz: That's right. And given only a short time, it wouldn't be hard for The Kid to get used to the Soul Battle System, so it would only be so long until he'd be completely untouchable. Unlike sans, who grows fatigued and cocky quickly.

 **Boomstick: Well that's just too bad. Looks like sans was BONED from the start.**

Wiz: The winner is The Kid.

[DOORS CLOSE]

 **Boomstick: Next tiiiiiime on Death Battle!**

Voice 1: I knew you'd ketchup to me sooner or later! How I've relished this meeting!

Voice 2: Hehehe… You thought you were number 1. But turns out you're number 2! And now you're circling the drain!


	15. Episode 13:Condiment King VS Toiletnator

This episode came a lot quicker than the last, right? Don't expect all my death battled to come out this fast though. I just REALLY enjoyed researching and writing this one. It was so damn fun! I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did writing it!

Anyway, the next episode may take a little longer due to a large amount of research, but i'm always working on it. Maybe you'll get a new DBX in the meantime. Who knows~

And PLEASE leave reviews. They help me get through the day :3

* * *

Wiz: When you think of Super Villains, who comes to mind?

 **Boomstick: Oh, all kinds of cool guys! Green Goblin, Joker, Zod. Waaaay too many to list!**

Wiz: Super villains can come in many shapes and sizes, and prove to be incredible threats to even the greatest of heroes.

 **Boomstick: Buuuuut, sometimes... well. Villains just don't think through their theme too well, and end up as nothing more than jokes to everyone else. Even other villains.**

Wiz: Mitchell Mayo, The Condiment King.

 **Boomstick: And Lou Pottingsworth, The Toiletnator. Two of the dumbest named people I've ever heard of in my life.**

Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick and it's our job to analyse their weapons armor and skills to find out who would win a death battle!

[Doors Close]

Wiz: Batman. The Dark Knight. One of the most well known comic book heroes in the entire world. Powerful, smart, and the embodiment of fear to the criminals of Gotham City. For a hero so incredible, it only makes sense that there would be some equally amazing villains.

 **Boomstick: Well duh! Bane's strong and smart, a close equal! And let's not forget the Joker! A twisted mind and a perfect counter to Batman!**

Wiz: But Batman isn't always limited to just high level villains like those two. It's not hard to forget that batman has to deal with petty criminals too. Like the time that some fast food worker lost his mind and decided to attack a bunch of civilians in a train station

 **Boomstick: I don't blame the guy. Have you ever worked in fast food. Shit's awful. If i had a job like that, I might've turned into a crappy villain too. Though I doubt I'd ever come up with a persona as god awful as The Condiment King.**

 **NAME: MITCHELL MAYO**

 **HOMETOWN: GOTHAM CITY**

 **PREVIOUS OCCUPATION: FAST FOOD RESTAURANT WORKER**

 **TRAINED IN HERBS, SPICES AND PEPPERS BY POISON IVY**

 **INTELLIGENCE SLIGHTLY ENHANCED BY MODIFIED JOKER TOXIN**

Wiz: Of course, since Mitchell Mayo was just a run of the mill guy, threatening people with ketchup and mustard and pretty much nothing else, he was taken down with incredible ease by Robin and Batgirl.

 **Boomstick: Not even! Robin took the sucker out with one punch. Not even Batman. Fucking ROBIN! That's gotta damage your supervillain cred something fierce. Not that this guy had any to begin with.**

Wiz: Within the hour, Mitchell was carted away and sent to Arkham Asylum to treat his clear insanity, but that was probably the worst thing to do.

 **Boomstick: While locked away, Mitchell grew to hate the gross prison food he had to both make and eat, Making him slowly grow a more intense hatred towards Robin and Batgirl for defeating him.**

Wiz: But then he finally had a stroke of luck. One day, while returning to his cell, he passed by another well known villain of Batman. Poison Ivy.

 **Boomstick: Mitchell immediately fell for her. And i don't blame him. I mean just look at her. Evil or not, she's damn hot. Plus that whole seduction thing might be a factor, i guess.**

Wiz: Mitchell had Poison Ivy teach him more about plants and vegetables, allowing him to learn more way to create effective weapons out of condiments, because yes. He was still stuck on that idea for some reason. And it didn't take long until Mitchell was set free from Arkham.

 **Boomstick: Yeah, because of his absolutely pathetic villain gimmick, the law didn't take him seriously and just let him go eventually.**

Wiz: And so he went right back to his Condiment king persona. Sometime after, he was somehow infected by a modified version of the Joker Toxin that, rather than killing him, enhanced his intelligence. Allowing him to create more effective weapons than simply sauce bottles.

 **CONDIMENT CANNON**

 **KETCHUP, MUSTARD, RELISH ATTACHED AS AMMO**

 **CAN INCREASE ANY FLAVOUR TO 100,000 ON THE SCOVILLE SCALE**

 **SO SPICY IT CAN FORCE TRIGGER ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK**

 **HOT SAUCE PACKS**

 **MUSTARD GAS BOMB**

 **SCOVILLE BOMB**

 **MAKES BREATHING CLOSE TO IMPOSSIBLE**

 **HISS AND VINEGAR**

 **VINEGAR MIXED IN WITH FLUOROANTIMONIC ACID**

 **Boomstick: The Condiment King's main weapon is his Condiment Cannon. A large gun connected to an overly complex tank of condiments that can fire ketchup, mustard and relish as ammo.**

Wiz: As an added bonus, using what Poison Ivy taught him, Condiment King was able to create a way to increase the intensity of his condiment's flavour up to 100,000 on the Scoville Scale.

 **Boomstick: The hell's a Scoville?**

Wiz: The Scoville Scale is the worldwide scale of spiciness used for peppers. It allows you to quickly find out just how hot certain peppers are compared to others. A regular full jalapeño pepper clocks in at roughly 10,000 Scoville units, making any of Condiment King's sauces around ten times hotter than that. So more like wasabi sauce being fired out of a gun,

 **Boomstick: Damn... dunking a little sushi in a tiny pot of wasabi is like eating fire already. I doubt I'd want that shit fired down my mouth.**

Wiz: Oh believe me, you wouldn't. Mitchell says that his Condiment cannon is so spicy, it can trigger anaphylactic shock in anyone he shoots in the face, regardless of if they are allergic or not. Which he demonstrated by shooting all the heroes fighting him at the time.

 **Boomstick: Jesus. I thought this guy was a joke. What else does he have?**

Wiz: Condiment king carries small packets of hot sauce on his person too, as a back up weapon if foes get to close. He can throw it into their mouth to shock them, or squirt it in their eyes to painfully blind them, even if just temporarily.

 **Boomstick: Plus the Scoville bomb. A gas grenade that lets out a mist of super spicy air, making breathing next to impossible for anyone trapped within.**

Wiz: He was once able to make a large Mustard Gas bomb, and incredibly volatile weapon that could leave incredibly painful chemical burn blisters on it's victims skin and inside their lungs. It's also a very slow acting weapon, not usually noticeable until 24 hours after exposure. That said it's important to note that this is not part of his main arsenal and would likely take a lot of time to set up another.

 **Boomstick: Jesus Christ...**

Wiz: Oh, that's not even the worst of it yet. After a series of failures and being sent to and released from Arkham multiple times, Mitchell was eventually recruited to a group of super villains led by General Immortus. Immortus was working on building up a team of villains that would be unstoppable and was doing so by hiring weaker villains and allowing his assistant, Professor Achilles Milo, to experiment on them to make them more powerful soldiers for him.

 **Boomstick: Aside from some minor improvements to the loser's pathetic physical skills, the doc gave The Condiment King a new weapon. VINEGAR.**

Wiz: No no, that's just a name. Hiss and Vinegar. It's actually easily his most deadly weapon. The strongest superacid known to mankind. Fluoroantimonic Acid. A substance so volatile that it can eat through metal and flesh within seconds, reacts explosively to water, and can only be contained inside of PTFE, or Polytetrafluoroethylene.

 **Boomstick: Uhhh...**

Wiz: ...Otherwise known as Teflon.

 **Boomstick: WHAT?! The stuff that no stick frying pans are made from? That's the only thing this acid can't melt through? Science is fucking weird.**

 **FEATS**

 **LAUNCHED A GUY ACROSS A ROOM**

 **WITHSTOOD HAVING HIS NOSE BLASTED OFF AND KEPT FIGHTING**

 **OUTLIVED ALL OF HIS TEAM-MATES DURING A FIGHT WITH HUMAN FLAME AND THE SEDUCTRESS.**

Wiz: Even without factoring in the Scoville scale, the Condiment cannon fires it's sauces with enough force to launch a regular adult across a room with ease.

 **Boomstick: His superacid was able to melt through a train's roof in seconds too. That's some strong metal right there!**

Wiz: And there's also the time he was in a fight with Human Flame and The Seductress. After the two of them betrayed General Immortus's villain group, condiment king and the other villains of the group were sent after Human Flame to kill him. And, Somehow, Condiment King was the last surviving member of the group through the fight. Managing to outlive other villains like Mr Polka Dot, Miss Army Knife, Sportsmaster and Brown Recluse.

 **Boomstick: I mean... they were all just as pathetic as Condiment King though. So it's not saying too much. What IS impressive though, is how Condiment king had his ENTIRE NOSE blasted off during the fight and he just kept going like it was nothing. Like seriously. Why are we even calling this guy a joke. After everything we've said, he sounds pretty good, despite the crappy theme.**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **MILK CAN STAVE OFF SPICINESS SYMPTOMS**

 **CAN SLIP ON HIS OWN SPILLED CONDIMENTS IF NOT CAREFUL**

 **INTELLIGENCE BOOST DID NOT IMPROVE HIS COMMON SENSE OR STRATEGIC ABILITIES**

 **LITTLE TO NO HAND-TO-HAND FIGHTING PROWESS OR EXPERIENCE**

Wiz: Oh i should probably stress, despite everything we've gone over, Condiment King is NOT a good villain. His main method of fighting, causing anaphylactic shock, can be countered by simply drinking milk. And his costume is just that. A costume, giving him no defences. It doesn't even keep him from slipping over on his own spilled sauces

 **Boomstick: Well, he still had the intelligence boost from the Joker Toxin, right?**

Wiz: Well, it's hard to say if that is still a factor or if it wore off. But regardless, while it improved his intelligence and IQ, it most certainly did NOT improve his common sense or his strategic abilities. If anything, it made them worse by giving him partial insanity of the Joker.

 **Boomstick: Yeah. He's starting to sound more and more like a joke again now. This guy isn't even that good of a fighter. Any time he's in a fist fight, he ends up going down in record time, like a little bitch. Batman took him out in one punch, Robin took him out in one punch. Oh, except for that fight with the Human Flame that we mentioned... Buuuut, I should probably mention he did go down pretty quickly after he lost his nose... and then he was killed by Human Flame too...**

Wiz: He had a ketchup bottle curbstomped into his skull... Not a nice way to go. At the end of the day, despite everything we had to say about him today, Condiment King is just as pathetic as his supervillain name would lead you to believe.

Condiment King: Ah! The big bad Bat-guy. I knew you'd ketchup to me sooner or later. How I relished this meeting. You, the dynamic Dark Knight, versus me, the conceptual Condiment King! Come, Batman. Let's see if you can cut the mustard.

Batman: Quiet! *Batman punches him right in the stomach*

Condiment King: *Slumps to the ground, winded and gasping for air* Y-you hit me!

 **[Doors Close]**

Wiz: The imagination of children can be... odd, to say the least. Some of the more rebellious children might even imagine that the strict adults in their life might actually be villains out to make their lives miserable.

 **Boomstick: There was NOTHING imaginary about that evil banker who lived next door! I Swear! He was out to make me poor!**

Wiz: Well, that might not be entirely false. Just like in the case of the KND, or the Kids Next Door. A super secret organization of Kids who fought against the evil adults of the world for the freedom of children everywhere.

 **Boomstick: I fuckin' knew it! If only I knew about KND. Li'l Boomstick would've been on the front lines kickin' adult ass!**

Wiz: The enemies of the KND included Nightbrace, the dentist, Mr Boss, a business man with incredible strategic planning and a knack for leading others, and Father, The pyrokinetic big bad of all adults. With a common goal of oppressing all children, these villains banned together to take down the KND.

 **Boomstick: But unfortunately for them, not all of the adults who wanted to be villains were exactly great at what they did. And one of these villains wasn't just considered a joke to the KND, but even the other villains saw this dude as a pathetic waste of their time.**

Wiz: Who are we talking about? Well of course, the Toiletnator.

 **NAME: LOU POTTINGSWORTH III**

 **HOMETOWN: SOMEWHERE NEAR SECTOR V**

 **PREVIOUS OCCUPATION: VICE ASSISTANT VICE PRESIDENT TO THE VICE PRESIDENT OF VICE ASSISTANT PRESIDENTS' ASSISTANTS OF EVIL ADULT INDUSTRIES**

 **ARCH NEMESIS AND UNCLE OF NUMBUH 4, WALLABEE BEETLES**

 **LOST "BEST TOILET THEMED VILLAIN" AWARD TO FELLOW VILLAIN, POTTY MOUTH**

 **Boomstick: Jesus... Toilets? His theme is TOILETS?! I'm more scared of the dentist than this loser!**

Wiz: Once there was a guy by the name of Lou Pottingsworth III, an Australian business man who, after being separated from his family, found work at Evil adult industries with the most complicated job title ever. The Vice Assistant Vice president to the vice president of vice assistant presidents' assistant.

 **Boomstick: The vice... wait, could you repeat that?**

Wiz: No, it was hard enough saying it once.

 **Boomstick: Well, anyway, as a business man, Lou was not half bad. He was given the job of overseeing the production of the brand new vegetable, Asparagross. A vile food made purely to disgust children.**

Wiz: All was going pretty well at first. That is until the KND showed up to wreck things, led by Numbuh 1 of Sector V. Since Lou himself had the plans for Asparagross on his person, the Sector V kids immediately went after him, so he did the only thing her knew how.

 **Boomstick: He ran like a pussy and hid himself inside of a nearby Portapotty. Too bad for him that within a couple seconds of hiding in there, some stray shots from KND mustard guns sent the toilet tumbling down off of a cliff.**

Wiz: After causing a wooden building to crash down on top of it too, Lou was trapped inside of the portable toilet for what seemed like weeks, keeping himself alive by eating... ugh... urinal cakes.

 **Boomstick: That is until, finally, some kind of god made of toilet paper was summoned. Calling himself "The almighty Protector of Potty". And he decided to make Lou Pottingsworth his new champion.**

Wiz: at first, Lou was entirely opposed to this, but he wasn't given a choice and was suddenly forced into a transformation. When he woke up, was broke free of his prison with a new mission. Defend bathrooms everywhere from the delinquency of children as... Toiletnator.

 **Boomstick: Of course, his new theme as a villain didn't go over well with his bosses, effectively making him the joke of the company. No one wanted him around and they went out of their way to avoid him.**

 **OUTFIT MADE OF RIP RESISTANT, 12 PLY TOILETPAPER**

 **TERMA-TOILETNATOR ARMOR**

 **PLUNGERS**

 **TOILET BRUSHES**

 **URINAL CAKES**

 **TOILET THEMED POWERS**

 **TOILET PAPER**

 **TOILET TRAVEL**

 **CONTROL OVER WATER**

Wiz: Now that Toiletnator was actually capable of fighting and utilizing actual powers, he was incredibly eager to get right into action and fight some KND. More than anything, he just wanted to show the other villains how helpful he could be. Particularly Mr. Boss.

 **Boomstick: Too bad for him, it's hard to impress other villains when your methods of fighting as as stupid as this. Toiletnator's powers and tool set are all toilet themed. His main method of attack is shooting spiral streams of Toilet paper from the rolls on each wrist. Which seemed to never actually run out for some reason.**

Wiz: His Toilet Paper launching ability can be used for several things, such as punching holes in obstacles, grappling and swinging like spider-man, or simply wrapping up foes tightly.

 **Boomstick: Pff. As if Toilet paper could do all that. It's all just tearaway!**

Wiz: Well, usually, yes. But the toilet paper Toiletnator uses, and that is on his costume, is apparently 12-ply paper. And is rip-resistant on top of that. Making it more like a soft rope. Not unbreakable, but not as easy to break as toilet paper.

 **Boomstick: His toilet powers don't end there either. He can somehow use toilets as travel system. All he's gotta do is step into a toilet bowl and off he goes! He can move to any toilet he wants to! Hopefully one that isn't occupied.**

Wiz: It's not perfect though. He can sometimes get stuck. And that's where one of his weapons comes into play. He can use a plunger to unstick himself and carry on travelling. He doesn't just use his plunger like that though. He can also Hop around on them like a pogo stick, or use them like Javelins that can pin foes to the wall with help from Toilet Brushes.

 **Boomstick: He also carries around his favourite, and grossest, snack. Urinal cakes. Not only can he take a nibble when he needs refuelling, but he can also throw them onto the ground as a trap. They're super slippery and stepping on one would act kinda like an old cartoon banana peel. It can even trip over a mech!**

Wiz: It's also important to note that Urinal cakes are NOT edible. They're highly toxic in fact. While this toxicity doesn't affect Toiletnator, if a regular person were to snack on these, they'd likely come down with nausea, Dizziness and, fittingly enough, Diarrhoea.

 **Boomstick: Wait a sec, how does he carry all this shit in a skin-tight toilet paper suit with no pockets?**

Wiz: That's where his battle suit comes into play. His Terma-Toiletnator Armor. This armor swaps out his toilet seat necklace for a full toilet bowl as a breastplate. And it comes complete with a toilet tank on his back that houses all of his tools.

 **Boomstick: Ok, is it just me, or is the word Toilet starting to sound really weird because we've said it so much?**

Wiz: Of course, there is still one more power Toiletnator has that we've yet to discuss. Hydrokinesis.

 **Boomstick: Oh shit, yeah! He can control water! Most of the time, this is just something he does to unblock toilets, but if he really needs to, he can control any water in his vicinity to do what he wants, whether it's forcing a blockage down a drain, or shooting water out of toilets. It's actually a pretty cool power. Too bad he only ever uses it for toilet related reasons.**

 **FEATS**

 **TOILET PAPER IS STRONG ENOUGH SHOOT THROUGH A MOUNTAIN OF DEBRIS**

 **SURVIVED A FERRIS WHEEL FALLING ON HIM**

 **COMPLETELY IMMOBILIZED NUMBUH 2 AND NUMBUH 4**

 **DEFEATED 5 FELLOW VILLAINS WITH ABSOLUTE EASE**

 **DRAINED THE GRAND CANYON OF MILK (SOMEHOW?!)**

Wiz: Toiletnator's powers are surprisingly versatile and useful when they need to be. His Toilet paper launching is strong enough to shoot right through an enormous pile of debris, as shown when he escaped from his portapotty prison during his origin story.

 **Boomstick: Not to mention that his toilet paper was also able to tied up and suspend Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 4 of the KND with only one shot. And they're both trained experts.**

Wiz: Well, he DID catch them off guard when he did it. But it's still somewhat impressive nonetheless. He was also crushed underneath a relatively small Ferris wheel and was fine, even if a little dizzy and beaten up. More impressively, he once performed a solo attack on the KND Sector V base. When he got there, he found it had already been taken over by the other villains.

 **Boomstick: But being the dumbass failure that he is, Toiletnator thought the other villains were the Sector V crew in disguise and went up against all five of the villains, effortlessly taking all of them down! That's Mr. Boss, Mr Wink, Mr Fibb, Crazy Cat Lady and Nightbrace. HA! Even the dentist guy?**

Wiz: Though when the actual members of Sector V got back, they promptly defeated Toiletnator and kicked him out with the rest of the adults.

 **Boomstick: Oh but we can't forget his best though! After an entire day of being kicked around and beaten up, Toiletnator reached boiling point and in a rage, he created a giant typhoon out of milk that had filled the grand canyon! ...Then flushed it all away... somehow.**

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **TOILET PAPER EASILY DESTROYED BY WATER**

 **GETS SICK WHEN DIZZY**

 **HIS ONLY VICTORIES RESULTED IN DEFEATING HIS FELLOW VILLAINS TOO**

 **INCREDIBLY GULLIBLE**

Wiz: This proves two things. 1. Toiletnator can not just control water, but any liquid that is composed mostly of water, Milk being 95% water. And 2... Well... Toiletnator is an incredibly ineffective villain.

 **Boomstick: This guy has a wide arsenal, decent powers and yet somehow, he always manages to fuck everything up!**

Wiz: His toilet paper, despite being heavily resistant to tearing, is still incredibly ineffective against water, becoming soggy and falling apart in no time flat if it gets wet. On top of that, he's prone to getting sick if he ever gets Dizzy.

 **Boomstisk: What truly makes him a god awful bad guy though, is he's just not that evil!**

Wiz: Sure, Toiletnator hates kids, but he's generally a nice guy to most people he meets and has an incredibly emotional side. His over enthusiasm for being a villain all stems from wanting his fellow bad guys to recognize him as helpful... even though he's really really not. He's incredibly gullible, once being fooled by a disguise Numbuh 1 was wearing, that was simply a T-shirt that read "I am not Numbuh 1"

 **Boomstick: The loser is a total idiot! Sure, he's had a handful of occasions where he shows just how competent he can be. But those brief moments of competency always end up screwing over all his adult team mates at the same time. Like how when he drained the grand canyon of milk, it left the evil adult submarine trapped at the bottom of the canyon and the element of surprise ruined. I mean... the pun makes it's self... He's just a Shitty Villain.**

Mr Wink: *Hiding behind a sofa with Mr Fibb.* ...Is he gone..?

Mr Boss: I'll check... *He creeps out from behind and arm chair and carefully opens the drapes to the window*

Toiletnator: *outside* HEY GUYS!

Mr Boss: Aw Geez, it's the Toiletnator...

Toiletnator: Can I come in? Huh?!

 **[Doors Close]**

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLLLLLLLE!

 **[Doors Close]**

One day, at Evil Adult Industries, Mr Boss was preparing a meeting with all of the other villains. Nightbrace, Mr Wink and Fibb, Gramma Stuffem, even Father was there. But one villain specifically wasn't there. At least... he wasn't at first.

"Alright then..." Mr Boss began. "First order of business is..." But then he was cut off by banging at the door.

"Hey! Hey! Mr Boss? Are you in there? I think the invite you sent me was misprinted. It told me to head to Cambodia, but when i got there, you weren't there. So i took a toilet back here." At the voice, every villain the room let out a loud groan and collectively facepalmed.

"Aw, geez. It's the Toiletnator..." Mr Boss moaned, before stomping over and opening the door.

"Hey guys! Good to see you all! so what's on the agenda today? Did I miss anything?" Toiletnator said, wondering in with a bright smile. The villains all began t grumble in annoyance, and Father even began to glow with flames. Mr Boss didn't want Father getting angry so he thought quickly.

"A-actually, Toiletnator! I'm glad you're here! I've got a super special mission for you! I...uhh... W-we need more villains! So I need you to go on a recruitment drive! Find someone tough looking and bring them on back for a job interview. Make sure you do a good job though. No bringing back any failures!"

Toiletnator's eyes sparkled and his smile grew wide as Mr Boss gave him this mission. He saluted proudly. "Don't worry, Mr Boss! I won't let you down! I'll find the most kick-butt villain you've ever seen. It's a promise!" and just like that, he charged off to the nearest bathroom and flushed himself down a toilet. All of the villains let out a collective sigh.

"Alright... back to business..." Mr Boss said, returning to the meeting.

MEANWHILE

The Condiment King sat alone in the usual villains bar. As per usual, General Immortus had sent him out to keep out for any potential recruits to his cause. He took a small sip of his drink, a glass of ketchup, before hearing an odd flushing noise come from the bathroom. Which was odd because no one had gone to the bathroom during the 30 minutes he'd been sitting in the bar. He stood up to investigate, but before he could go anywhere, the bathroom door burst open.

"Afternoon, my fellow villains! My name is Toiletnator and I'm here with an exciting business opportunity today! Who wants to join Evil Adult Industries and terrorize children across the world?" All the villains of the bar turned to look at Toiletnator, before simply laughing and turning away, back to their conversations and drinks. Toiletnator frowned in frustration. Condiment King smirked though. A perfect villain for General Immortus!

"Excuse me, Sir. I couldn't help but notice you were hiring for another company" Condiment King said, approaching Toiletnator. "I just can't help but think of this as a waste of your clear potential."

Toiletnator raised his eyebrow as Condiment King spoke. "A waste of Potential? What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean, your villain theme is clearly one that doesn't command much respect. But if you come with me to the Immortus Corps, we could improve you. Make you better!" Condiment King said, with a smug grin.

Toiletnator seemed intrigued for a moment, before quickly shaking his head. "No, no, I couldn't abandon Evil Adult Industries. But maybe you could abandon this Immortus guy and join US. You seem like a pretty cool bad guy!"

"I'm not abandoning my General." Condiment King said flatly and began to walk away.

Then Toiletnator began to panic. This guy was right. He didn't command enough respect to properly recruit new villains. But he couldn't just quit! Mr Boss was counting on him to get new employees. He clenched his fists tight before pointing right at Condiment King. "STOP RIGHT THERE." He commanded. "When I said you COULD abandon him, I meant you WILL. Even if I have to force you!"

Condiment King turned around, and pulled out his Condiment cannon. "Oh? You think you can take on ME. Oooooh, I'm gonna RELISH this fight~"

 **FIGHT**

Toiletnator sprang into action immediately. He thrust his fists out in front of him and shot two spirals of toilet paper from his Wrists directly at Condiment King. The streams slammed right into him, launching backwards into the wall. The other villains in the bar began getting annoyed at how loud the two of them were being and began to leave.

Condiment King raised his gun and began shooting out a stream of Ketchup and mustard all over the two toilet paper spirals, getting them wet and hence, making them fall apart and freeing him. He then raised his weapon to aim at Toiletnator and shot out another stream. This time, Relish. Toiletnator tried to counter by shooting more toilet paper, but the condiment cannon tore right through it and slammed into Toiletnator's chest, launching him backwards this time.

Toiletnator slammed into a wall himself and once Condiment King stopped firing, he reached down and wiped up some of the sauce from his suit. "Is that relish..?" He asked, before licking some off his finger. His eyes immediately grew wide and he spat the sauce out. "Gah! Spicy! Spicy!"

"Oh, but that was just a little taste!" Condiment king replied, this time aiming for Toiletnator's face. "I'd better help you ketchup with my wonderfully spicy flavours. Straight from the SAUCE." He yelled out, firing more sauces at Toiletnator. Toiletnator quickly jumped to the side though, launching some toilet paper up to a nearby light and using it like a grapple to swing around and gave a kick to condiment King's head, knocking off one of the salt shakers that were attached to his costume. Condiment King fell to the ground in a heap and dropped his gun, while Toiletnator stood over him.

"Hahaha! Looks like you were just NUMBER TWO after all!" Toiletnator gloated. Condiment King wasn't done though. he reached down for his belt and retrieved a pack of hot sauce. He tore it open, reached up and gave it a squeeze, shooting hot sauce into Toiletnator's wide open mouth. Toiletnator gagged and stumbled backwards, gripping his throat as he tried to recover. Condiment King took the opportunity to get right back up to his feet and collect up his gun, before taking aim at Toiletnator, who had his back to Condiment King. He opened fire, launching Toiletnator once again, sending him crashing back into the bathroom of the bar.

Toiletnator fell to the bathroom floor in a heap, still gasping for air, before quickly scrambling to the nearest toilet and dunking his head into it. He pulled himself back out of it, letting out a sigh of relief. "Ahh... much better." He said, smiling. Then he heard the sound of a gun cocking. He turned around to see Condiment King had blocked off his exit to the cubicle.

"That was just run-of-the-mill hot sauce, My friend. Time to get a taste of something FAR Better." He said grinning maniacally as he took aim for Toiletnator's face one more time. "No second helpings, I'm afraid. Just one taste is to DIE for. So I guess this is TTFN, Tartar for now, you little Pesto!"

Of course, While condiment king was monologuing and making bad puns, Toiletnator had climbed into the toilet bowl. And just as Condiment King pulled the trigger, FLUSH! Toiletnator shot down the pipes, vanishing right before him. Condiment King watched on in shock before quickly aiming at the bowl and firing his sauces down the pipes after Toiletnator, as if that would help.

Suddenly, there was another flush behind him and Condiment King span around to see Toiletnator. He'd come out of another toilet, this time wearing his Terma-Toiletnator armor. Toiletnator reached back for a plunger and hurled it at Condiment King. It immediately stuck to his face and condiment king was forced to try and pull the weapon off. Finally, it came loose from his face, just in time to see Toiletnator rush in and smack Condiment King in the face with a toilet brush.

Despite being caught off guard, Condiment King responded by smacking Toiletnator with the butt of his Condiment Cannon and the two of them back off quickly, now having a stare down in the middle of the bathroom. Toiletnator began to charge and Condiment King reacted with a new strategy. He pulled his Scoville Bomb and pulled the pin, sliding along the floor to Toiletnator's feet where it exploded into a large cloud of gas, clouding the bathroom.

Trapped in the centre, Toiletnator breathed the spicy gas in immediately, which he quickly realized was a bad idea as he began choking and wheezing. He collapsed onto his hands and feet and scrambled out of the cloud as fast as he could where he continued to cough and attempt to catch his breath. Once he finally got up, he noticed that Condiment King was nowhere to be seen. He turned back to face the cloud of gas, when a blast of mustard came flying out. Luckily it missed Toiletnator by quite a margin and splatted onto the wall.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the gas cloud, Condiment king stood, taking potshots at the other side. Neither of them could see each other, but he had a ranged weapon, giving him the advantage. Or at least he thought, until a toilet paper whip came shooting out of the cloud and slapped him in the face before reeling back to Toiletnator. Condiment King growled and continued to shoot sauces at random.

Toiletnator, getting worried about dodging attack he couldn't see had a new idea. Using his toiler paper powers, he began spinning two roped of toilet paper around like propellers and began to dispel the spicy gas from the room. When the gas cleared, Condiment king noticed that Toiletnator had thrown urinal cakes all over the floor. Not that it mattered.

"Good luck beating me from all the way over there with nothing but toilet paper. I have the ranged advantage still!" He called out. Toiletnator grinned and began clenching his fists. The toilets of the bathroom all began to rumble and shake, as if there was an earthquake, before one of them finally fired off a massive blast of water right at Condiment King. His eyes grew wide as he was suddenly slammed against the wall by the water and his efforts to breath and speak were stopped by the massive amount. Finally, the water stopped and the soak Condiment king seemed incredibly angry.

"What's wrong, Saucy? You look a little DRAINED. Can't handle a little water?" Toiletnator Taunted. Condiment King began to grow angrier and angrier before finally giving in. He reached down and grabbed his bottle of Hiss and Vinegar. He was gonna melt this toilet trash with acid! He charged forward at Toiletnator, who seemed caught off guard by this and raised his arms in defence but...

SLIP!

Condiment King stepped directly onto one of the Urinal cakes and his feet came slipping out from right beneath him. His bottle of Fluoroantimonic Acid when flying up into the air... and fell into one of the toilet bowls. "...Oh shit..." Condiment King muttered under his breath and he watched.

"Hey, watch your language, Potty mouth!" Toiletnator said before before he could do anything else, the room was suddenly filled with a giant fiery explosion as the acid reacted violently with the water. **BOOOOOOOOM!**

The bathroom was entirely annihilated, leaving only one toilet still attached to the plumbing and all of the walls completely collapsed and burnt to a crisp. Condiment King was slumped against some rubble, alive but unconscious. And Toiletnator was nowhere to be seen... until some of the rubble began to shake.

"G-geez, what kinda sauce was in there..?" Toiletnator said as he dragged himself out from underneath some rubble. He looked dizzy as hell and his costume was totally ruined. Ripped all over. Not to mention his Terma-Toiletnator armor was totally destroyed. He stumbled around for a moment before he noticed Condiment King laying unconscious. "I... I did it! I won! WOO! Ok, let's get you back to Evil Adult Industries" He said gleefully, as he grabbed onto Condiment King's ankle and began dragging him over to the only working toilet in the remains of the room.

With all of what was left of his strength, he grabbed Condiment king and threw him head first into the toilet. The moment his face hit the water, Condiment king was brought back to consciousness, only to have Toiletnator suddenly stand on his head. "Alright! Toilet Travel to Evil Adult Industries!" Toiletnator called out, and the two of them began to get sucked down the toilet... well, until they got stuck. "Oh, geez..." Toiletnator said grumpily, reaching for his plunger.

Condiment King began flailing his legs, which were the only part of his body not submerged in water. He couldn't breath and was totally stuck. He could feel himself growing light headed. Suddenly, he felt something hit one of his legs. "Hey! Stop struggling down there! You're making it harder to get unstuck!" Toiletnator shouted at him. Before continuing to try and plunger himself down the drain.

Of course, Condiment King didn't stop flailing and kept attempting to escape, but to no avail. After around 30 seconds, he fell unconscious again... and drowned. With his legs now lifeless and not flailing, Toiletnator's plunger finally worked and the two of them began to move again. "Woo! Homeward bound!" Toiletnator cheered out Happily, as he shot off with Condiment King's corpse.

[Doors Close]

 **K.O.**

In the Evil Adults Industries bathroom, Condiment King's dead body shoots out of one of the bowls and lands in a heap on the floor. Toiletnator comes out afterwards, laughing triumphantly, before noticing that Condiment King wasn't moving, and giving his body a light kick to see if he was ok.

 **Boomstick: Hey Wiz, Condiment King's looking a little flushed, don't you think?**

Wiz: *Sigh* You're gonna be awful with these puns aren't you

 **Boomstick: I'm just sayin'. Condiment King looked just Gravy a second ago! Hehehe.**

Wiz: ...Ahem. Condiment King and Toiletnator may both be pathetic villains, but even so, there is a couple clear differences between the two that ultimately led to this outcome. First, the obvious elephant in the room. Condiment King's weapons. Despite the ludicrous nature of them, they were clearly far more dangerous than anything Toiletnator had. That much is very true.

 **Boomstick: More than enough to make a... COMEBACK, hehehe**

Wiz: But just because he had a more dangerous Arsenal doesn't mean he wins. Especially when you compare the two of them overall.

 **Boomstick: When you compare the two of them in terms of basic stats like speed and strength and stuff, they're both pretty plain, like white sauce! But Toiletnator had a clear durability advantage since he'd been crush under a Ferris wheel and been fine, while Condiment king was laid out in a single punch from Robin. This durability difference put Condiment King in a JAM so to speak. Quite the PICKLE, huh? Hahahaha!**

Wiz: Can you stop with the puns please? You get ONE per episode. No more.

 **Boomstick: No need to be so SALTY, Wiz. Or are you just JELLY than I'm so much more creative.**

Wiz: ...

 **Boomstick: Now you're giving me the cold shoulder? Don't be so CHILLI. Hahahaha!**

Wiz: AHEM. You may think that Toiletnator's higher durability wouldn't matter against Condiment King's Fluoroantimonic Acid, and you'd be right. Condiment King's super acid could end this fight in an instant if it hit. But that's where the problem lies. Condiment King is just NOT an effective fighter, while Toiletnator is at least a little effective. Condiment King has failed in every fight he's ever been in. And always in an incredibly pathetic manner. Usually one punch is all it takes. The only exception being his fight with Human Flame, but that fight was incredibly short regardless and ended with his death. Toiletnator on the other hand, may be pathetic in concept, but he's shown multiple times that he's an effective fighter. Just because he causes the villains to lose doesn't diminish the fact HE was able to defeat them!

 **Boomstick: Condiment King's entire battle style is based around being aggressive and taking down or immobilizing his foes with brute force and weapons. Which doesn't work out too well when you just absolutely suck at fighting. Not to mention the fact he has no defence against any of his OWN weapons! He's just as susceptible to slipping on sauce or getting that allergic reaction thingy. So even his Scoville Bomb, or even mustard gas, if he was able to get it, would be just as dangerous to him as his foe.**

Wiz: Meanwhile, Toiletnator's fighting style is based less on being aggressive and more immobilizing his foe with his toilet themed arsenal. Tying them up in toilet paper, slipping them with urinal cakes, pinning them down with Toilet Brushes, and so on. And considering Condiment King's own weapons limit himself, that just makes it that much easier for Toiletnator to subdue him.

 **Boomstick: A good way to think about this fight is to think of Hercule VS Dan. Sure, One of them has a hyper powerful attack that could end the fight in an instant. But that don't mean shit if you just have no idea how to effectively use it AND your opponent is more skilled than you. Even if just a little.**

Wiz: Exactly! Oh, and thanks for dropping the puns, Boomstick. They were getting annoying.

 **Boomstick: Looks like Condiment King took a spill. Then Toiletnator wiped him out.**

Wiz: ...God damn it, Boomstick... The winner is Toiletnator.

 **[Doors Close]**

 **Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle!**

?1: Showtime..!

?2: I AM COMPLETE!


	16. DBX 3: Genocide Jack VS Jeff The Killer

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER OF DBX CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE DANGANRONPA SERIES. SPECIFICALLY DANGANRONPA 1 AND DANGANRONPA ANOTHER EPISODE. IF YOU WANT TO GO INTO THESE SERIES BLIND, NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO STEP BACK. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.**

* * *

 **NO RULES**

 **JUST BLOODSHED**

 **DBX!**

Towa City - 1:14 AM

Komaru and Toko lay asleep in their bed. Komaru was entirely wrapped up in the blanket, while Toko huddled up next to her with none of the covers. A quiet knock came from the door and Komaru slowly blinked open, glancing up. The door creaked open and the familiar face of Hiroko Hagakure stood there.

"Hey, Koko. I hate to interrupt your beauty sleep, but you and Fufu are needed in the meeting room." Hiroko said softly. Komaru rubbed the sleep from her eyes and slowly unwrapped herself from the sheets, getting up. She let out a yawn before speaking.

"Sure thing" She said, stretching out. She turned around. But before she said anything, she noticed that Toko was still fast asleep. "Hmm... Does Toko NEED to be there? She hasn't gotten much sleep recently. she really could use it."

Hiroko tapped her chin for a moment, thinking it over. "Well... I suppose you could always fill her in in the morning. C'mon, Koko." Hiroko said and exited the room.

Komaru picked up the bed's blankets and placed them over Toko. "Sleep well Toki~ I'll see you in the morning!" She said sweetly before following after Hiroko. Toko mumbled something unintelligible and rolled over in her sleep…

Towa City - 2:57 AM

Toko was still fast asleep. She had been all night. Though Komaru had yet to return. The meeting seemed to be quite a long one. Then, in dark silence of the room, the door slowly began to creak open. A figure slipped into the room, a large smile on it's face as he crept closer to Toko's bed. Toko rolled over in her sleep, laying flat on her back in bed, snoring lightly.

Toko shivered lightly, almost as if she felt a presence over her bed. Finally, her eyes opened, just a little. "O-omaru..?" She said, groggily as she glanced up to see the figure looming over her. And immediately, her eyes shot open. Above her stood a horrifying figure. A man, his skin pure white, like snow. with two white white eyes surrounded by rings of black. His hair pitch black, and his lips a burnt red colour. On top of that, his cheeks had been slashed in a way to replicate a smile.

Toko was frozen in fear. The figure above her was absolutely terrifying. Was... was he one of the remnants of despair..? And it only got worse. The figure slowly brought a large shining knife from behind his back. He leaned forwards, over Toko,and began to bring the knife in closer. And then her spoke quietly. "Shhhh... Go to sleep…"

Toko immediately let out a scream and swiftly brought up her knee, striking the intruder's stomach and knocking him backwards. In the process, Toko also fell backwards off of her bed. She quickly scrambled to her feet. But by then, the intruder was already back up and ready to go. He suddenly lunged at Toko and she reacted quickly, swiping her stun-gun from the bedside table and pressing it to her own forehead, zapping herself.

Toko's grey eyes immediately switched to a red color, and her tongue drooped out of her mouth, down past her chin. In addition, she suddenly pulled a pair of scissors from seemingly out of nowhere and swung them up, colliding with and stopping Jeff's knife in it's tracks. "Gyahahahahaha! Well aren't you a pretty one! I really dig the facial scars~" Toko said. Except she wasn't Toko anymore. She'd become Genocide Jack.

"Hehehe~ My face IS wonderful, isn't it? I want it to be the last thing you see!" Jeff said, twirling the knife in his hand.

"I don't think you know who you're messing with. But if you really wanna try and kill me, then let's get this party started~ May the best psychopath win!" Jack said, brandishing two pairs of scissors in each hand.

 **HERE WE GO!**

Jeff let out a psychotic laugh and bolted forwards, knife extended to stab Jack. But Jack simply performed a pirouette and span right out of the way. As Jeff passed her, Jack swung her leg around, kicking him in the back and sending him crashing into the bedroom wall. As Jeff began to regain his balance, Jack threw a handful of scissors at him, like darts. Jeff swung his knife, knocking most of them off course, except for one pair, which stabbed right through his free hand, pinning it to the wall.

Jeff let out a howl of pain, quickly followed by more laughter. "It's not over already, is it?" Asked Jack, tilting her head curiously. And in response, Jeff did something she never saw coming. He yanked his hand free from the wall, with the scissors still impaled through it, then pulled the scissors free from his palm, now dual wielding a knife and scissors. "Aha~ Impressive!" Jack said.

Jeff launched himself at her once again, tackling right into Jack and breaking down the bedroom door, pulling both of them into the hallway. While positioned like this, Jeff attempted to stab his knife into Jack's gut, but she acted quickly and kicked Jeff in the stomach, pushing him off of her and back away too.

"H-hey! What's going on over here?!" Called out one of the building's guards. A man who was completely transparent blue, from head to toe. He ran over to the scene, approaching Jeff from behind, only for Jeff to immediately spin around and slam his scissors directly into the guard's throat, spraying blood on Jeff's face as the guard gurgled and struggled to breath.

"Go to sleep" Jeff whispered to the dying guard, before grabbing him, and in a show of strength, hurling the guard at Genocide Jack.

Jack wasn't caught off guard though, and she deftly ducked right underneath the guard. "Hey! That guy was cute! No one kills cute guys but me!" Jack yelled, seemingly getting a little annoyed now. She charged this time, slashing with her scissors. Jeff simply swung back with his knife, clashing with the scissor blades repeatedly, with enough force to create small sparks. He began pushing forwards, slowly forcing Jack to take steps backwards while they had, for all intents and purposes, a sword fight. Just with very short swords.

Jeff managed to catch Jack off guard a little, swinging the knife at such an angle that he was able to clearly slash at her cheek, leaving a rather large gash. He then immediately followed up by stabbing the blade into her upper arm. Jack screamed out in pain as Jeff yanked the knife back out again and he kicked her in the stomach, forcing her backwards and through another nearby door, into another, somewhat larger bedroom. Though this one was unoccupied.

Somehow managing to stay on her feet, Genocide Jack glared daggers at Jeff as he entered, brandishing his knife, freshly wet with Jack's own blood. "Like I said... Go. To. SLEEP!" Yelled Jeff with an absurdly large smile. He thrust his blade forward one last time to stab Jack's chest... but she was ready this time.

With a pair of scissors in each hand, she caught the blade between them. One pair above, one pair below. She gave a sharp twist and sent the knife up into the air, disarming Jeff. Then, she threw away her scissors to each side and caught the knife as it fell and plunged it right int Jeff's stomach. "...Nah. I just woke up. I think YOU need the nap~" She taunted. Jeff spat out blood and began giggling maniacally as pain enveloped his body. "I think it's about time i put you outta your misery~" Jack said, and she jumped up into the air. She put her hands above her head and a ball of energy and scissors began to charge. "LEND ME YOUR ENERGY!" She called out.

Jeff glanced up in time to see a large Scissor Spirit Bomb heading right his way, and then... BOOM! One the light had cleared, Jeff lay in the center of the room, barely breathing and covered in cuts and slashes. The Scissor Spirit Bomb had destroyed everything in the room. Jack took a few steps closer and grabbed the collar of Jeff's shirt. She brandished another pair of scissors and gave him a grin. "Time to make art!"

* * *

Komaru, finally finished with the meeting made her way back to her bedroom, only to notice that the hallway was... well... a mess, to say the least. Her face filled with horror at the sight of the dead bodyguard, with a pair of scissors jammed into his neck. "N-no... Toki didn't... did she..?" She muttered to herself. She peeked inside of her bedroom to find no one there and cautiously began following the trail of blood into a nearby room. And there she saw the next horrifying sight of the day.

The room was entirely destroyed. Not a single piece of furniture was intact and there was a large pool of blood in the middle of the room. But more than anything else, there was a male corpse with pure white skin and pitch black hair pinned up on the wall via scissors, Crucifixion style, with a large knife stabbed into his stomach for good measure. Beside him were the words "Bloodbath Fever". Komaru's eyes began to fill with tears at the sight when she noticed Genocide Jack sitting in the corner with her hands behind her head, relaxing. "Oh! Dekomaru! You're never gonna believe the night I've had! ...Uhh, you won't tell Master Byakuya about this, right?"

 **DBX**

* * *

Boomstick: **NEXT TIME ON DEATH BATTLE!**

*Cue "Airship Theme (Super Mario Bros. 3) - Super Smash Bros. Brawl"*

BOWSER RETURNS TO DEATH BATTLE

...VS…

Valmont: Game over Chan… Way over…

Shendu: I LIIIIIIIVE!

SHENDU RESURRECTS INTO DEATH BATTLE

BOWSER VS SHENDU. COMING SOON

* * *

OOC NOTES:

Ok, So I know some of you might be confused since this next time doesn't fit with what you remember. Well, that's because you're right. It doesn't. My original plan for the next fight was Lord Tirek, from MLP, VS Shao Kahn, from Mortal Kombat. Unfortunately, when I started researching, I QUICKLY lost interest in the fight. Progress ground to a halt and I realized I wasn't going to get it done any time soon. So I scrapped it for now. And I've gone back and changed the next time in Condiment King VS Toiletnator too. It may come back, it may not. But for now, don't expect to see it. So I skipped to my newest idea. A fight between the fathers of two combatants we've already met in my death battles. Bowser VS Shendu.

Anyway, being a superfan of both series, I shouldn't have a problem researching this one, so expect to see it not too long from now. I'm looking forward to writing this one.


	17. Episode 14: Bowser VS Shendu

OKAY! So here we are. Getting this done took a while, But I'm really happy with how I turned out. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. And PLEASE leave reviews. I LOVE to see them. Even if you disagree with an outcome, let me know why. But yeah. Enough about me. Onto the new episode!

* * *

Wiz: What makes a villain truly fearsome? For every person it's different.

 **Boomstick: Yeah! Like for me it's my Ex's. And for Wiz its girls in general!**

Wiz: No, that's not... Ugh. Save the jokes for later in the episode Boomstick. This is the intro.

 **Boomstick: Pff. C'mon. It's never too early for a joke.**

Wiz: Anyway! One definition of a fearsome villain could be Sharp teeth and claws, Blazing fire breath, Deadly dark magic, or simply being INCREDIBLY durable.

 **Boomstick: Like Bowser, The King of the Koopa Troop!**

Wiz: And Shendu, The Fire Demon of Ancient China

 **Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick**

Wiz: And it's out job to analyse their weapons armor and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle!

[DOORS CLOSE]

Wiz: Many many years ago, on an island not too far off the shore of the Mushroom kingdom, a very special delivery was taking place. A few storks were taking babies to their new families. Specifically, two soon-to-be-famous brothers, Mario and Luigi!

 **Boomstick: Unfortunately for them, another recently delivered baby happened to live on the island those storks were flying over. And he was one annoying little brat. A kid named Bowser.**

Wiz: This young prince was in the process of being raised by Magikoopas, being raised to become the feared King of the koopas. And his first evil plot was to kidnap the two babies being delivered at the moment, as they were two of the seven star children.

 **Boomstick: Haha! Little did he know that HE was one of those 7 too. If only he knew...**

Wiz: But thanks to a tribe of Yoshi, Mario and Luigi were able to escape the island.

 **Boomstick: That was hardly the last time they met though. Bowser would fight those kids on and on for the next couple decades in his attempts to take over the Mushroom Kingdom, via hostile takeover and royal kidnappings!**

 **NAME: KING BOWSER KOOPA**

 **HEIGHT 8'7" / 261.6 CM**

 **CHILDREN: BOWSER JUNIOR (KOOPALINGS POSSIBLY ADOPTED)**

 **ONE OF THE 7 STAR CHILDREN**

 **IS SOMEHOW ABLE TO PLAY WITH A SIDEWAYS JOYCON, DESPITE HIS GIANT CLAWS**

Wiz: King Bowser Koopa grew up to be a lot more fearsome than his child self, growing to be well over 8 foot tall. He even somehow got himself a biological son. Though god knows who the mother is.

 **Boomstick: Well, it MUST be the woman he was always kidnapping right? The princess herself.**

Wiz: Eww, gross. He's way too big. Not to mention they kinda confirm she's not at the end of Sunshine. Regardless of that, Bowser and his son, along with the koopalings who he possibly adopted, led his army into assault after assault on the Mushroom Kingdom to kidnap Peach, to keep her from using her Heart Magic to undo his own Black Magic.

 **Boomstick: Without the princess' magic to stop his rampaging, Bowser was free to wreak havoc as the only ruler of the kingdom... Y'know, until the plumber brothers came in and fucked the plan up.**

Wiz: Not that Bowser just LET the Mario and Luigi waltz right in and rescue her. Bowser isn't the kind to just just accept defeat. He can put up on hell of a fight.

 **SUPER STRENGTH**

 **FIRE BREATH**

 **NIGH INDESTRUCTIBLE SHELL**

 **KOOPA CLOWN CAR**

 **KOOPA TROOP ARMY**

 **GOOMBA STORM**

 **SHY GUY SQUAD**

 **KOOPA CORPS**

 **BOB-OMB BLITZ**

 **MAGIKOOPA MOB**

 **Boomstick: Oh hell yeah, you know it! Bowser is pure power in the form of a turtle. Brute force all the way like a real man! Razor sharp teeth and fangs, as well as a spikes all over his shell that he can shoot out at will.**

Wiz: When it comes to fighting, Bowser is generally pretty straight-forward. Overpowering strength. On top of those spikes and claws, Bowser backs them up with some incredible strength.

 **Boomstick: And being so... uhh... dragonish in nature**

Wiz: Draconic.

 **Boomstick: Yeah whatever. Thanks to that, he can breath fire too! Either in huge flamey streams or in big exploding blasts! Y'know, for when he really wants to put the heat on his opponents!**

Wiz: When it comes to power though, physical strength isn't the only kind he has. You have to remember, Bowser is a KING. And Kings have armies.

 **Boomstick: Bowser commands his Koopa Troop. An entire army of various creatures loyal to him and him alone.**

Wiz: The two most basic and plentiful of the Koopa Troop army are the Goombas and Koopas, both of whom we've covered on an episode of Death Battle in the past. Goombas are dumb as bricks and basically just charge straight into a fight, headbutting whatever they are told to. Meanwhile, Koopas are more intelligent, but are super cowardly, hiding in their super durable shell whenever they're in the slightest bit of danger.

 **Boomstick: Then we've got the Shy Guys. These masked things act kinda like bowser's servants and butlers. They carry shit for him, do heavy lifting and when he needs it, they'll charge into battle. They can also man Bullet Bill Launchers! Then there's the Bob-ombs. Little walking bomb robots that kamikaze themselves to take out their enemies. Bowser can drop these guys from his personal vehicle, the Koopa Clown Car. A flying piece of nightmare fuel filled with tons of weapons.**

Wiz: While we're on the subject, The Koopa Clown Car contains all kinds of weapons, such as Mechakoopas. Robotic Koopas that patrol around before exploding. Kinda like Bob-ombs, but not sentient.

 **Boomstick: It also can somehow drop giant bowling balls out that are by some strange magic BIGGER than the car itself. Like how the hell does that even make sense?**

Wiz: And finally, we have the Magikoopas, the very creatures that raised Bowser. These Koopa subspecies can fly on brooms and can use wands to shoot concussive blasts of magic.

 **Boomstick: OH! And Bowser thought up a ton of creative ways to interact with his troops for attacks. From lighting his goombas on fire while they charge, playing pong with with koopa's shells, or amplifying the Magikoopa's spells with his fire breath.**

 **BLACK MAGIC**

 **TERRORIZE**

 **POISON GAS**

 **CRUSHER**

 **BOWSER CRUSH**

 **TELEPORTATION**

 **SHAPESHIFTING**

 **CAN TRANSFORM HIMSELF OR FOES**

 **CAN ALTER HIS SIZE TO GROW GIANT**

 **CAN TURN MINIONS INTO CLONES OF HIMSELF**

Wiz: Speaking of the Magikoopas, since Bowser grew up in their care, he actually picked up quite a bit from them. They taught him about magic and how too use it, eventually resulting in Bowser's own brand of Black Magic. When in combat, Bowser mostly uses magic as a way of dealing direct damage, or otherwise debilitating foes.

 **Boomstick: Like the Terrorize spell, that summons a huge Boo ghost to instil fear into the target, halving attack strength and defence. Or he can poison them with his Poison Gas spell, to do more damage over time. The Bowser Crush Spell summons up a massive Mecha Koopa to come charging in over foes, and the Crusher spell causes a huge pillar of rock to bust out of the ground right beneath the target, to do heavy damage.**

Wiz: He can also teleport short distances for surprise attacks, but his best magic lies in his shapeshifting! Transfiguration and transformation seems to be Bowser's speciality. He can use this magic to transform just a regular member of his minion army into a clone of himself, capable of throwing hammers and shooting fireballs. Though the clones lack his amazing durability, eventually turning back to normal after enough damage. He also once turned almost the entire population of the Mushroom Kingdom into harmless inanimate bricks during his first kidnapping attempt.

 **Boomstick: But his transforming powers aren't just for using on others. Bowser can transform himself too! From altering his own form into new shapes or simply altering his size on the go. He can change from 8 foot tall to the size of his own castle in the blink of an eye!**

 **FEATS**

 **REGULARLY KIDNAPS PRINCESS PEACH**

 **FAST ENOUGH TO OUTRUN LIONS**

 **THREW HIS OWN CASTLE**

 **DEFEATED MIDBUS, FAWFUL AND DARK BOWSER**

 **SURVIVED A SUPERNOVA AND A BLACK HOLE**

Wiz: Bowser is an absolute beast in a fight. He's successfully attacked the Mushroom Kingdom numerous times, stealing their ruler in the process

 **Boomstick: Well, y'know... until Mario and Luigi came along and fucked up his plans. Every. Single. Time.**

Wiz: Well, yeah. But that says more about how skilled the Mario Bros. are. Bowser was still able to effectively defeat an entire kingdom with ease. And in terms of raw stats, he's no slouch either. While hardly one of the faster characters in the Mario Universe, he HAS outran lions before. And his strength is just insane!

 **Boomstick: Strong enough to lift and throw his own castle after it crushed him. And he's used that power to defeat a ton of tough guys too. Like Fawful, a floating bean who speaks fluent Engrish. Midbus, A weird... pigman thing, who later got ice powers too. And even his own clone Dark Bowser.**

Wiz: But even his ludicrous strength hardly compares to his greatest attribute. His overwhelming durability. Bowser can take just about any hit with total ease. From falling in lava, being crushed by a castle or even falling into the centre of a black hole or supernova, Bowser has come back from each one alive and raring to keep going!

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **INCREDIBLY COCKY**

 **GROWING GIANT REDUCES SPEED**

 **EXTREMELY DUMB**

 **AWFUL SHORT TERM STRATEGIST**

 **ILLITERATE**

 **Boomstick: You'd think being able to survive the deadly crushing forces of a black hole would make Bowser entirely invincible. Buuuuut nooooo...**

Wiz: While his durability is insane, he always ends up loosing to Mario regardless of how tough he is. Generally due to his own incompetence. Bowser is incredibly dumb! He can't read or write and he's even incredibly cocky when fighting, often simply assuming he'd win a fight right from the start. That, combined with his incredible lack of short term strategic planning leaves a lot to be desired.

 **Boomstick: If he comes face to face with an opponent, he'll usually just wail on it until it stops moving. On occasion, he'll try out some traps and stuff, but more often than not, he ends up falling into 'em himself. Like the classic Bridges from the original Super Mario game.**

Wiz: It's also important to note that whenever Bowser increases his size, while it DOES boost up his power and strength, it also cuts down his speed inversely. The bigger bowser gets, the slower he becomes in favour of more power. Which, while perfectly in character for such a brute, isn't always the best strategy. As Dragonball Z taught us all.

 **Boomstick: Heh heh... now all I can think of is the possibility of Super Saiyan Bowser. Now that's a scary image!**

Wiz: Indeed, I cant argue with that! Bowser may be dumb, but he's a powerhouse. Easily one of the strongest forces we've covered in death battle. And he's not about to go down with a hell of a fight.

Bowser: _"...What are the odds? I'll admit, you handed me my shell before, but not this time! Oh yeah! My horoscope said so! Today's the day I win it all! Gwah ha ha ha! I RULE!"_

[DOORS CLOSE]

Wiz: Thousands of years ago, the earth as we knew it was a very different place. Magic was a well known, if outlawed, fact. And mythical creatures such as Dragon's roamed the land.

 **Boomstick: But, unfortunately for us humans, we weren't actually allowed to enjoy any of these magical differences, since we were nothing but slaves to the rulers of the planet, 8 evil demon sorcerer siblings.**

Wiz: These demons effectively stole the planet from the humans, and treated them as nothing but slaves for hundreds, possibly thousands, of years. That is until 8 humans got tired of being treated this way and taught themselves the outlawed magic, creating a magical item called the Pan-Ku Box. Using this, each of the 8 wizards cast a spell to banish the 8 demons out of their realm into an empty void of nothingness, trapped with no escape.

 **Boomstick: Well you say that, but one of them DID manage to escape, didn't they? Some wizards they are. Couldn't even properly lock an ancient magical portal door.**

Wiz: Well, you're not wrong. No one is quite sure how, but a couple hundred years later, the leader of these Demons managed to force his way out of the Demon Vortex, and upon doing so he immediately began to reclaim control of the world as his own. And this Demon's name was Shendu.

 **NAME: SHENDU**

 **HEIGHT: AROUND 18'0" / 548.64 CM**

 **CHILDREN: DRAGON**

 **ONE OF 8 DEMON SORCERER SIBLINGS**

 **TECHNICALLY ONLY 2 YEARS OLD**

 **Boomstick: Standing almost 20 foot tall and weighing in at about the same weight as my ex wife, Shendu was able to surprise attack the world once again when he return, using his cunning mind and brute force to reclaim the world as his own. Though, being the asshole he is, he never bothered to free his siblings, instead keeping the world to himself.**

Wiz: For a long time, Shendu was able to keep a tight grip on the world even by his lonesome, until one fateful day around 900 years ago, another master Chi Wizard arrived to fight Shendu. He went by the name Lo Pei.

*The Door suddenly slams open*

Jocelyn: Did someone say low pay?! Because I would TOTALLY accept that over _no_ pay.

Wiz: Jocelyn! Get out! We're in the middle of recording an episode!

Jocelyn: But I..!

 **Boomstick: BACK TO THE CLOSET, INTERN!**

*Jocelyn huffs and exits, slamming the door behind her.*

Wiz: This is the thanks we get after giving her a show of her own... Anyway! Lo Pei!

 **Boomstick: Yeah, this badass monk guy came out of nowhere one day equipped with some special Scroll based Magic, and used it to turn Shendu into a harmless, yet still conscious, statue. Trapped in rock and unable to move. I don't know if that's better or worse than an endless void of nothingness...**

Wiz: This spell also removed Shendu's powers from him, turning them into small hunks of rock called Talismans. For the next 900 years, the Shendu statue travelled the world...

 **Boomstick: He even went to the old west!**

Wiz:: ...hoping to one day find a willing pawn to bring him his talismans so he could rule once more. And eventually he found that pawn. Valmont, and his criminal gang called The Dark Hand. And after a little trouble, he eventually regained his original body and became complete once more.

 **SUPER STRENGTH**

 **SUPER SPEED**

 **NATURAL FIRE BREATH**

 **DRAGON MINIONS**

 **NINJA SHADOWKHAN**

 **Boomstick: And HOLY HELL! When this guy isn't trapped in stone he's a freaking powerhouse. Which I guess is to be expected from a 20 Foot tall dragon.**

Wiz: Shendu has incredible strength and speed, making him capable of holding his own against even the toughest of people and monsters in his world.

 **Boomstick: And on top of that, as i'm sure you can tell, HE'S A DRAGON. So he can breath fire. Hell, he can even do this when he's a statue.**

Wiz: He's not just a Dragon, Boomstick. Shendu is THE fire demon. Adept in controlling, creating and manipulating fire. Hell, remember when we covered Drago? Drago inherited pretty much all of his fire powers from his father here.

 **Boomstick: This guy is Drago's dad? Drago looks a lot closer to human than this though...**

Wiz: Even aside from physical powers, Shendu also has control over dragons. And so long as he has time to perform the spell, he can tear open a hole to a void filled with hundreds of his dragon minions and then sic them on foes.

 **Boomstick: Those aren't the only Minions the ol' Shendude has though. By channelling the power of an old Japanese Oni Mask, Shendu can summon the Shadowkahn!**

Wiz: Specifically, the Shadowkahn of the Ninja Tribe. These... creatures are made entirely of shadows and act entirely on Shendu's will.

 **Boomstick: They're masters of Ninjitsu, obviously, and can also summon up all kinds of weapons, including Shuriken, Kunai, Smoke bombs, bo staffs or even nunchucks. All of which they can use with incredible skill, of course, making them deadly fighters.**

Wiz: they can also unfurl their outfit to glide like flying squirrels, or simply melt away into the shadows and reappear wherever they like. All of that said, the Shadowkahn have next to no durability. One good hit and they vanish in a puff of smoke, along with whatever weapons they might've brought with them.

 **Boomstick: Aww, god dammit. Just as they were starting to sound REALLY cool.**

 **TALISMAN MAGIC**

 **OX AND RABBIT (INCREASED STRENGTH AND SPEED)**

 **PIG AND DRAGON (HEAT VISION AND COMBUSTION)**

 **HORSE AND DOG (HEALING AND IMMORTALITY)**

 **ROOSTER AND SNAKE (LEVITATION AND INVISIBILITY)**

 **MONKEY AND RAT (ANIMAL SHAPESHIFTING AND ANIMATION)**

 **SHEEP AND TIGER (ASTRAL PROJECTION AND SPIRITUAL BALANCE)**

 **ARCANE KNOWLEDGE OF SPELLS AND ARTEFACTS**

 **"MAGIC SENSE" CAN SENSE WHEN POWERFUL FORCES ARE AT WORK**

Wiz: After freeing himself from the Demon Vortex, Shendu knew that taking back the world wouldn't be too easy by himself. Even with as much power as he had, magic was no longer outlawed, and there were likely hundreds of Chi Wizards ready to fend him off. But he had a plan. Shendu hunted down the twelve legendary noble animals of the Zodiac.

 **Boomstick: These are the animals that the Chinese years are named after. Y'know. Dog, Monkey, Dragon and the rest. Turns out, that legend was true. And the animals from that race were awarded a prize for taking part in that mythical race. Fuckin' Superpowers! Now THAT is a prize!**

Wiz: The powers that these animals had were passed on to their ancestor animals too, and Shendu hunted them down and drained them of their powers, taking them for himself. These powers were what were removed from him when Lo Pei turned him to stone and they became Shendu's 12 talismans. Each one, when absorbed by Shendu, does not have a physical form. They simply exist as part of Shendu. they only gain physical form upon being removed from his body through certain magic.

 **Boomstick: There are tons of these fuckers. Like the Ox Talisman, that amplifies the users strength to insane levels. Or The Rabbit talisman does the same thing, but for speed instead. The Pig talisman lets you see invisible things, but It also lets go all superman and shoot burning lasers from your eyes! And the Dragon talisman is my personal favourite. It lets you launch highly volatile blasts of fire that can tear through pretty much anything.**

Wiz: The Dog Talisman, that grants youthful energy and immortality. And the Horse Talisman. Which gives an unlimited healing factor for physical injuries and sicknesses. It can even repair inanimate objects. It can't, however, reverse non-harmful bodily changes, such as being magically reverted into a child.

 **Boomstick: Rooster Talisman lets you use telekinesis. And the Snake Talisman turns you invisible! And then there's the Monkey Talisman, which lets you transform people, objects or even yourself, into animals. All you have to do is say the name of the animal!**

Wiz: The Rat Talisman gives the power of animation, giving live to inanimate objects like statues and toys. On top of hat, anything brought to life this way will have all the powers an abilities of whoever it was modelled after. Then the Sheep Talisman gives Astral Projection. A relatively useless power in a fight. Though you can use it to into someone's dreams

 **Boomstick: And finally, the Tiger Talisman, which give you balance! Nothing will ever knock you down now!**

Wiz: Not quite Boomstick. The Tiger Talisman gives SPIRITUAL balance. Generally a useless talisman in a fight, but it is what binds the other talismans together as part of Shendu. As such, it lets him combine the powers of other talismans together.

 **FEATS**

 **OVERPOWERED JACKIE CHAN WITH EASE, AFTER JACKIE STOLE HIS OX TALISMAN**

 **CRAFTY AND CUNNING**

 **FOUGHT ALMOST ON PAR WITH ULTRA DRAGO WITHOUT THE TALISMANS**

 **EASILY DEFEATED ULTRA DRAGO WITH THE TALISMANS**

 **COMPLETELY INVULNERABLE TO NON-MAGICAL WEAPONS**

 **Boomstick: I'm sure you've figured it out by now, But Shendu's power is pretty damn high. Hell, even without his talismans. Jackie once used a potion to pull the Ox Talisman out of Shendu and tried to use it against him, But Shendu said that the Ox just made Jackie "A very strong mouse", and easily overpowered him. And the Ox Talisman let an ordinary yak just headbutt through the centre of a mountain!**

Wiz: He was even able to fight on par with his son, Drago, while he was at his strongest form, Ultra Drago, even without is Talismans. And WITH his talismans, he was able to easily overpower his son.

 **Boomstick: And it's not just his physical strength that's insane. The Pig and Dragon talismans are powerful enough to rip open armoured trucks. And once when it was used against him. The Dragon Talisman ripped a huge hole in Shendu's chest! Which he survived, of course, thanks to the Horse and Dog.**

Wiz: And that was a magical weapon. When it comes to non-magical weapons, Shendu is completely immune to them! Guns, Missiles, Machinery. They simply can't effect his body at all.

 **Boomstick: Which is really fucking weird when you think about it, because regular physical attacks like punches and kicks hurt him just fine.**

Wiz: And finally, Shendu, as a sorcerer, is incredibly intelligent. He's not exactly a great strategist on the fly, but he is smart enough to prepare back up plans if something isn't going quite right. And despite being kind of brutish, he's not above attempting to talk his way out of problems if he's outmatched.

 **WEAKNESSES**

 **INCREDIBLY COCKY**

 **CERTAIN MAGICAL SPELLS CAN REMOVE THE TALISMANS**

 **REMOVING THE RAT TALISMAN WILL TURN HIM INTO A VULNERABLE STATUE**

 **REMOVING THE HORSE STOPS HIS HEALING**

 **REMOVING THE DOG MAKES HIM MORTAL**

 **NO SPECIAL RESISTANCE TO BASIC PHYSICAL ATTACKS**

 **ALLERGIC TO GOOD CHI MAGIC**

 **Boomstick: Too bad he's still a cocky asshole. Even if he has a CLEAR advantage in a fight, he often ends up losing because he spends too much time toying with his enemies, letting them get a better idea of how to fight him.**

Wiz: Such as using Good Chi Magic. Since Shendu is a dark chi demon, any magic that could be considered inherently good in nature is volatile to Shendu. One touch and he's hit with a reaction powerful enough to knock him out cold for up to an hour.

 **Boomstick: Or just reaching in and yanking out his powers. Using certain spells and potions, you could just slip through his skin and pull out one of his talismans at random. Pulling out the dog means he's not immortal anymore, pulling our the horse would stop his healing factor.**

Wiz: But most importantly, pulling out the Rat talisman would leave him as a defenceless, albeit still conscious, Statue. That's why Shendu relies so heavily on the Talismans. They're literally the key to keeping him alive!

 **Boomstick: And lets face it, these things let you punch through mountains and shoot explosive fireballs. Who WOULDN'T wanna depend on these.**

Wiz: Very true. Relying on the talismans may be a dangerous game for Shendu, but for him, it's a game worth playing for the power trip alone.

Jade Chan: Where's the Talisman..?

*Shendu's Spirit suddenly phases into view behind her*

Jade Chan: Woah! What're you?!

Shendu: Everything you will grow to fear! HAAA!

[DOORS CLOSE]

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

 **Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!**

[DOORS CLOSE]

Deep within the bowels of Bowser's castle, Bowser himself paced back and forth. He sent out his troop over an hour ago and they'd still not come back yet. He had sent them out to find the 12th and final Talisman. The Rat. This final hunk of rock would be the key to granting him more power than he could ever possibly imagine.

Finally, the door to the room burst open, and a small squad of Shy Guys came running in, skidding to a halt right in front of Bowser. They kneeled down, and the Shy Guy at the front held out the Rat Talisman for Bowser to take. The Koopa King gave a wide grin and snatched up the Talisman without a second thought, letting out a laugh. "Finally! It's about time you got this to me. Collecting all 12 of these was such a pain. I hope this is worth it."

"Oh, it will be~" Can an incredibly raspy voice from other side of the room. "Hurry. Place the final Talisman into it's slot, and infinite power will be yours" Bowser stomped on over to the darkened side of the room towards what looked to be a circular dragon statue, with 12 holes scattered evenly around his body and glowing red eyes. Shendu. Though 11 of the 12 holes had already been filled by the other talismans.

"Alright! Let's get this party started. Mario won't know what hit him this time!" Bowser declared proudly, before slamming the talisman into the final empty slot. All 12 talismans began to glow with a bright white light. A rushing wind began to howl through the room as the head of the statue began moving. Arms sprouted from the sides of the statue and legs from the bottom, while the 12 Talismans were absorbed inside of the flesh and completely covered up. Soon, the circular shape of the statue was gone entirely, replace by an 18-20 foot tall humanoid dragon.

"Finally! I am BACK! I feel the power of the talismans coursing through my body Strength, Speed, Astral Projection" Shendu began to boast.

Bowser folded his arms, grinning with excitement. "That's right big guy. I got you back up and ready to go. So that makes you an official member of the Koopa Troop. Let's not waste anytime and give me that infinite power! Then we can go take down Mario and Green 'Stache once and for all!"

Shendu glanced down at Bowser, who was only around half as tall as Shendu, and chuckled. "Very well. Here is your 'Infinite Power'..." Shendu said before reaching out to Bowser and flicking him on the forehead. However, thanks to the Ox Talisman, that flick was enough to send Bowser flying, crashing right through the solid brick wall on the far side of the room without any effort. Shendu began laughing to himself and slowly began floating upwards using the Rooster Talisman.

Suddenly, from the demolished wall that Bowser had been thrown through, a large fireball suddenly came rocketing out towards Shendu, Blasting him right in the face and knocking him back down to the floor. "HEY! We had a deal, you giant Gecko!" Bowser called out as he stomped back into the room, seemingly completely unharmed. Shendu brought himself to his feet as Bowser approached. "So you're gonna give me that infinite power. NOW!"

"I am a Demon Sorcerer, Bowser. We aren't exactly known for keeping promises..." Shendu said simply.

Bowser glared right at Shendu. "You're either giving me that power, or I'll take it out of your cold dead claws!" He yelled, entering a fighting stance.

Shendu simply laughed in response. "Very well. I'll make sure your body is disposed of properly!"

 **FIGHT**

Bowser finally charged forward with a roar and once right up next to Shendu, he wasted no time punching and slashing away and Shendu's legs. Shendu didn't seem too phased. "Oh, that is adorable~" Shendu hissed, before suddenly reaching down to grab Bowser by his hair. He lifted Bowser up to eye level and glared right into his eyes, before hurling Bowser with all his might at the ceiling. Bowser was sent crashing right through the roof, and he quickly tucked himself away into his shell to avoid taking damage.

Bowser crashed through room after room before finally falling to the floor, now on the roof of his castle, having been thrown all the way up. Shendu wasn't far behind. Using his Rabbit and Rooster Talisman together, he flew right up to the roof in a matter of seconds before landing. Bowser growled and pulled out a Chain Chomp, spinning it above his head before hurling it at Shendu. The chain chomp began barking loudly as it closed in. But, using his Rabbit Talisman again, Shendu simply zipped around the chomp and grabbed it's chain from behind, before spinning around and using it as a flail against Bowser, knocking him away again.

As he pulled himself back to his feet yet again, Bowser began growling. "You think you're so tough just because you're a little bit bigger than me, huh? Well I got some bad news for you, Shen-Doodoo..." Bowser retracted an arm into his shell and brought it back out holding a Magikoopa wand. "I'm larger than life!" Bowser waved the wand and small sparkled began surrounding him and in a few moment, he began growing, until he was around equal to Shendu, at 18 foot tall. Maybe just a little bit bigger to show he superiority. "And now I'm larger than you too!"

Bowser suddenly leapt at Shendu, slashing away with his claws and Shendu was clearly able to feel the damage now, letting out hisses of pain and anger. Shendu fought back, swinging a clawed fist for Bowser's face. But Bowser saw it. He caught the fist and retaliated with a powerful gut punch using his free hand. Shendu was stunned for a moment by the pure force behind the punch and Bowser took advantage of this. He grabbed a hole of Shendu's wrist and turned around, hurling Shendu over his shoulder and slamming him down into the floor. Then, he began charging up a blast of fire and launched it point blank right into Shendu's face.

The blast of fire sent Shendu crashing right through the floor into the room below, and he let out a horrible screech of pain. Dust and smoke filled Bowser's vision for just a moment, and when it finally cleared he peered down into the hole to see if he could see Shendu anymore. But the dragon was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, something hit Bowser square in the back of the head. and sent him hurtling across the hole onto the other side of the roof. Shendu's laugh echoed out, but he was nowhere to be seen. "You may be stronger than you look. But you can't hit what you can't see. And the snake grants invisibility. Combine that with the rabbit and..."

A rush of wind signalled that Shendu, while invisible, had began charging at sonic speeds, punching Bowser directly in the face, sending him flying a little further. But Shendu was moving faster than Bowser was flying. He dashed ahead and smashed Bowser back in the opposite direction. He continued like this for a few seconds before Bowser suddenly had an idea. While flying through the air, Bowser retreated to his shell and curled his shell up into a spiky ball, then began shooting spikes in all directions. And Shendu yelled out in pain.

Bowser finally landed and came out of his shell, looking around for Shendu. And while he couldn't see him, he COULD see a couple spikes floating in midair, clearly embedded into something. "Invisible or not, You can still get stabbed!" Bowser charged towards the floating Spikes and attempted a punch at the empty air and... sure enough, he hit Shendu! Shendu faded back into visibility and Bowser kept up the assault. Punches slash and bites all over Shendu, before finally, Bowser leapt up and pinned Shendu to the ground.

Bowser gripped onto one of the spikes that had been stabbed into Shendu and yanked it free, before raising it up and slamming it right down, impaling Shendu's throat with it. And with that, Shendu stopped moving. Bowser smirked and let out a roar of Triumph... But then a chuckle came from Shendu's mouth. "Is that the best you can do..?" He hissed, despite the spike pinning his throat to the ground. His eyes began to glow brightly and he fired two heat beams out, blasting away Bowser.

Shendu reached up for the spike in his throat, and with one strong yank, pulled it right out, leaving himself with a huge hole in his neck. Shendu pulled himself back to his feet, as did Bowser, and the hole in Shendu's neck simply sealed itself up, as if there was never and damage to begin with. Shendu began pulling spikes out of his body and each hole simply sealed right up. "The horse is the healer, Bowser. You cannot harm me!"

"Oh yeah..? Well let's see how you handle a little black magic then!" Bowser replied. He raised his hand and gave a click of his claws and a glowing image of a diamond surrounded him for just a second. After it faded, a small green cloud with a face materialized out of nowhere and flew towards Shendu. Shendu took a deep breath in to launch a fire blast at the cloud, but the cloud used that to it's advantage and fired a puff of Poison Gas right into Shendu's mouth.

Shendu began to choke and stumbled backwards gripping his throat as the poison began to course through his body. His dark green scales began to turn a slightly bright shade of Green. Bowser folded his arms and grinned. "Let's see you heal from that!"

Shendu kneeled down in pain before shooting Bowser a glare. "Gladly..." Shendu hissed, clearly growing more agitated at Bowser. The horse talisman once again activated and Shendu's scales began to return to their regular colour as the poison was removed from his body. "The horse heals all ailments. Not just wounds." Bowser's cocky smirk faded and he simply clicked his claws again. Once again the image of a diamond flashed over him. The floor began to shake beneath Shendu and suddenly, a large spire of rock launched itself out right beneath him, crashing right into Shendu's face and knocking him the ground again.

Finally, Bowser pointed right at Shendu as the dragon was standing up and the noise of stomping began to echo out, getting closer. Shendu turned towards the noise to see a giant robot thing charging at him. A Mechakoopa. Shendu Braced for impact and just as the Mechakoopa hopped up to land on him, he reached out and grabbed the foot as it came down, gripping onto it tightly and holding it above him. Then, with as much strength as he could muster, He hurled the Mechakoopa at Bowser!

Bowser's eyes grew wide and he quickly retreated back inside of his shell, as the giant robotic Koopa crashed into him. But, of course, Bowser was safe inside of his shell. He came out of his shell again as Shendu stretched out his neck. "That can't be the best you have now, can it?" Shendu taunted him.

But Bowser still had some tricks up his sleeve. He pointed right at Shendu... and clicked his claws again. The image of a diamond flashed over him and suddenly, right behind Shendu, a Boo began to phase into existence. It hung over Shendu for a moment and when he turned to look at it, it let out a yell and a flash of purple light before vanishing from view. Shendu didn't really know what to make of it, but suddenly, he felt a chill down his spine as the fear effect took a hold of him. He tried to activate the healing of the horse, but fear isn't a wound or sickness. He turned back to face Bowser as the Koopa stomped closer and he suddenly found himself stumbling backward. For some reason, Shendu was terrified of Bowser. "W-w-what did you..?! SHADOWKAHN! DEFEND ME!"

Bowser's shadow suddenly began to stretch out and from it, multiple ninja-like beings dressed in all black surrounded Bowser. Shendu took the opportunity to use the Rooster Talisman to float out of reach of Bowser. Bowser ignored the Ninjas and charged up a blast of fire to shoot at Shendu, But the Shadowkahn didn't wait for him to fire. They leapt in to attack him. The Shadowkahn all piled onto Bowser, but they really did nothing more than annoy him. He retreated into his shell and used his Whirling Fortress attack to defeat them all in one go, turning them each into a puff of shadows. When he came out of his shell though... there was simply an army of Shadowkahn waiting for him.

Bowser rolled his eyes and let out a roar. "KOOPA TROOP! ASSEMBLE!" Suddenly, as if they were there all along, groups of Goombas, Koopas, Shy Guys and all kinds of different minions jumped out to join the fight. "Get rid of these Ninjas! ATTACK!" They all charged into battle and the Shadowkahn charged right back, wielding Nunchucks and Shurikens. They seemed to be far more skilled than any of Bowser's troops, but even the slightest damage was enough to beat them. "Shy Guy Squad! Front and Center!" Bowser called out and a group of Shy Guys ran right over to him. "Elastic Attack on the double. Aim for that Dragon up in the sky."

The Shy Guys all nodded and saluted before pulling out a long bungee cord. A group of the Shy Guys stood on each end and pulled the rope taut, while Bowser curled into another ball and the remaining Shy Guys began pushing him back into the rope to build up pressure. Finally, once the rope was pulled back as absolutely tightly as it possibly could, the rope was released and shot back, launching Bowser up at Shendu, and causing Shy guys to go flying everywhere.

Shendu didn't notice until far too late that Bowser was heading his way. He let out a terrified scream as Bowser's spherical spiked shell smashed into Shendu. Unfortunately, Bowser didn't really think this through, since he was now simply falling down towards his own lava moat, while Shendu remained floating in the air. Luckily, one of the Magikoopas that were fighting the Shadowkahn noticed. It fired a blast of magic down below Bowser and conjured up his Koopa Clown Car for Bowser to land inside of.

Bowser climbed up into proper position inside of his Clown Car and flew up so that he was on equal level with Shendu, who was still afflicted with fear. "G-get away from me! Don't come any closer!" Shendu hissed out in a cowardly town. Bowser just chuckled and retreated into to the Koopa Clown Car completely. The car turned 90 degrees and aimed it's opening right at Shendu and began charging, before firing a massive cannonball right at Shendu. But then... the fear effect finally began to wear off. "Wait...What on earth am I doing?!" Shendu finally questioned, getting a grip on his emotions before swinging his leg around and delivering a powerful kick to the huge cannonball, shooting it back at Bowser and destroying the clown car. The fear effect had ran off and Bowser began to fall, right into the lava moat around the castle.

The Koopa Troop all began to panic, checking over the side of the roof to see if Bowser was okay... And the Shadowkahn took advantage of this, knocking them over the edge too, down into the lava of just lower floors if they were lucky. But that was hardly the end of the fight. Inside the lava, Bowser was perfectly fine. He swims in lava all the time. This was nothing new for him. He reached into his shell and pulled out his wand again, using it to grow even further.

Shendu began to float back down to the roof when he noticed Bowser's horns coming out of the lava, far bigger than they were before. After a few seconds of growing, Bowser stood in the lava moat, even bigger than his own castle. He looked down at the roof, swarmed with Shadowkahn, took in a deep breath, and shot out a massive stream of fire all over the roof, destroying all of the Shadowkahn with ease. Then he turned his gaze to Shendu. "You promise me power, then spit in my face and attack my minions. This is what you get for messing with the King of the Koopas!"

Shendu just rolled his eyes. "You may be big, but you're still nothing compared to me!" Shendu roared right back. Bowser raised a fist and launched it at Shendu. His mere fist was about the same size as Shendu's entire body now. Shendu raised his arms in defence and took the hit with a small grunt of pain. Shendu didn't let up though. His other fist came in too and he delivered blow after blow to Shendu, eventually making the demon lower he defences and yell out in pain as he took the hits.

Bowser stopped for a second and leaned back, putting all his strength into one last punch and hurled it! But Shendu threw a punch of his own. Shendu's tiny-by-comparison fist slammed against Bowser's and thanks to the Ox talisman, they managed to hold each other back. "Give it up, Shendu. You're nothing! I'm the king and you will obey me!"

"King? Hehehe..." Shendu chuckled to himself, sweating a little as he struggled to keep up with Bowser's strength. "You're... N-nothing... but a little... KITTEN!" His eyes flashed as he used the power of the monkey talisman and... Bowser transformed into an ordinary, tiny little kitten. The cat began falling towards the lava again, but Shendu caught it by the tail and floated back down to the roof of the castle. "Well look at you... tiny, helpless and ripe for the kill~"

The bowser cat tried to struggle free from Shendu's claws but to no avail. But, he knew a spell just for this kind of situation...

Shendu tapped his chin with his free hand. "Now then... how should I end you... Ooh! I know! I'll feed you to my dragon minions!" He then used his free hand to begin the spell to summon his minions. It was a slow process and would take around five minutes or so... but the spell didn't even get that far in. After a few more seconds, Bowser's spell activated and he transformed back into his normal self. So now regular Bowser was being held up by the tail.

"You're not the only one who can transform things. You wanna see?" Shendu turned his head back to Bowser in shock. Before he could even drop Bowser, he reached into his shell and pulled out his wand one last time and pointed it at Shendu. "After all, I need some new BRICKS to fix up my damaged castle!" He yelled, blasting Shendu with the wand. Shendu let out a loud yell and dropped Bowser, stumbling backwards before shrinking down and transforming into a plain, inanimate brick block.

Bowser stomped up to the Brick Block and grinned, lifted up his foot and SLAMMED it down onto Shendu, crushing the bricks into dust and debris. "Actually, you're not worthy of being part of MY castle." He said with one last laugh. Then he turned around to leave. He had a castle to rebuild.

...But while he wasn't looking... the dust and debris began to glow, then reformed into a fully intact brick block. Then, with another flash of light, the bricks transformed BACK into Shendu. And he was absolutely furious. Using the rabbit talisman, he shot forwards faster than the eye could see and grabbed Bowser by the throat, slamming him into a wall and pinning him there. "You've made me ANGRY now. So it's time for you to just DIE like the RAT you are!"

With one final flash of light, Bowser was transformed again, this time into a Rat. But this time, Shendu was no longer playing around. He didn't give Bowser enough time to react and change back to normal. He simply tightened his grip and...CRUNCH! He crushed the Bowser rat into a bloody pulp in his hand. He opened his hand to look at the corpse for a moment, before growling and throwing it away, off the side of the roof. Then he let out one last roar of victory.

[DOORS CLOSE]

 **K.O.**

Shendu uses his rooster talisman to slowly float up into the air, then combines it with the rabbit talisman to blast off into the sky, vanishing into the distance. Meanwhile, Bowser's crushed rat body falls into the Lava moat, ignites and slowly sizzles away into nothing as it sinks down.

 **Boomstick: Holy shit! Brutal! So like... could this be considered animal cruelty? Also, what the hell happened at the end there?!**

Wiz: Hold on, Boomstick. Let's take this one step at a time. Firstly, I'd like to lead by saying that this fight is actually incredibly close. Each fighter had a ton of advantages over the other. For example, Despite being almost double Bowser's Base size, Bowser is actually stronger than Shendu. At least physically. Add in the fact that he can grow himself larger and Bowser clearly takes the advantage in a straight up fist fight. Even if only barely.

 **Boomstick: But thanks to the Rabbit Talisman, Shendu takes the speed advantage by a mile. Combine that with the Rooster Talisman and that gives him manoeuvrability too. Since he could move and react just as fast on land or in the air.**

Wiz: And then we could to Durability, which is kind of tricky. In terms of just basic durability, Bowser wins by a land slide, able to tank supernovas and black holes and live to tell the tale. But Shendu's talismans kinda provide a pretty good equal to this. While Shendu's body itself isn't able to tank as much as Bowser, the Horse and Dog talismans combined make him pretty much untouchable. the horse heals any ailment or injury, keeping him healthy indefinitely, and the dog talisman just straight up prevents death entirely. So no matter what damage Shendu takes, the dog will keep him alive and the horse will heal him back to full right after.

 **Boomstick: But what if Shendu just removed the talismans by ripping them out of Shendu?**

Wiz: Well, It's not that simply, unfortunately. The talismans actually have no physical form when they're inside of Bowser. They're simply a part of him. Another thing in his body's genetic makeup. Removing them requires good magic. Either to reach in and literally pull the power out which would then give the power a physical form of a talisman, or Lo Pei's scroll magic, which separates Shendu from his powers by turning him into a statue.

 **Boomstick: So what happened at the end there. Bowser turned Shendu into a statue using his brick spell. Shouldn't that remove the talismans?**

Wiz: Wrong again I'm afraid. Lo Pei's spell wasn't to turn Shendu into a dragon. It was only to remove the talismans that had become part of Shendu. And, as a side effect of removing the Rat Talisman of animation, Shendu was THEN turned into a statue. So when Bowser used his Brick spell to turn Shendu to stone, the talismans still existed within the brick's form. So the Dog Talisman kept him alive after being crushed, the Horse talisman repaired the bricks to normal, just like how they repaired a statue of Lo Pei in the past and the rat talisman gave him sentience to allow him to use his powers. So with that out of the way, he could use the Monkey Talisman to turn back into a dragon.

 **Boomstick: Right, I get it. So basically, since Bowser had no real way to remove the talismans from within Shendu, He couldn't actually deal a killing blow. But on the flip side, If Shendu used the monkey talisman to turn Bowser into a harmless animal, while Bowser COULD turn back to normal using his magic, he'd still be completely vulnerable during those few seconds that he wasn't a super durable Koopa Turtle thingy.**

Wiz: It was a close fight but in the end, Bowser just had no way to deal with the powerful magic of the Talismans, leaving him open to his own death

 **Boomstick: Seems like Bowser was Shen-Doomed**

Wiz: The winner is Shendu.

[DOORS CLOSE]

 **Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle!**

?1: I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am. I'm free-hee!

?2: REMEMBER, REALITY IS AN ILLUSION THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM BUY GOLD BYE!


End file.
